Obstacle become opportunity
Problem become solution
Take everything as your path
Tag: Wisdom
Thank You and Goodbye 2021
My new year wish for 2021 came true.
“In the brand new 2021 ahead, let us mindfully breathe and experience the power of the breath. May we connect at a deeper level with our body and soul. Through this, (re)discover our innate intuitive abilities, our dreams and the richness of our experiences. May we always find beauty, hope, warmth and peace. May we be gifted with open mindedness, possibilities, inspiration, goodness. May we use each and every opportunity to speak our truth and chart new territories with grace and wisdom. Everywhere, let there be magical, healing experiences of light. I know that we will be always be guided, protected, and blessed. We’ll shine like never before. Happy 2021.”
Right till the end
Honestly I didn’t know if I have feelings of thankfulness for 2021. What I discovered of late seemed to erase whatever gratitude I might have in me.
I slipped into a low. It was as if a part of me fell asleep.
I struggled out of bed on the wee hours of the last day of 2021 to capture my thoughts
I wanted to . I felt it was the only way for me to get a handle over myself after my discovery
I subscribe to the logic that we manifest and choose things in this life.
Did I really choose this surprise discovery? What and how in the process —- made me manifest this?
I want to find out.
I asked god and the divine – what is it that you want me to know? Is it the feeling of deceit and betrayal? Maybe, so as to know the full spectrum of emotions ?
I felt like after so much effort, my attempts to steer myself away from my parents experiences have been futile
In the end, I came to experience deceit and betrayal and dishonesty like my mother have. She chose to give up on despair
Now the turn is for me to make my choice – and I m sure I deserve nothing less. So why should I crinkle and buckle under this?
And I should not give all my pursuits away because of this. This discovery shouldn’t have the privilege of robbing me or erasing anything else that I have been putting or planning out. No. I shall not be stopped
And is it about forgiveness I have to learn ? I came to realise and uncover that I have been angry at myself for submitting again and again
For not heeding my gut and internal feelings and to keep dishing out chances
Beyond forgiveness for another, the lesson seems to be forgiveness of self
I recount what I learned awhile ago
Affirmative statements of forgiving others and the self who have consciously or unconsciously intended and afflicted harm onto myself and others
I thought about this dajiujiu sent
Please look at the speech that was read two days ago by the Pope.
Regardless of religion, see how Pope Francis has beautifully written about the family.
FAMILY, PLACE OF FORGIVENESS …
©️ There is no perfect family.
©️ We do not have perfect parents,
- you are not perfect yourself.
We do not marry a perfect person or we do not have perfect children.
©️ We have complaints from each other. We can not live together without offending one another.
©️ We are constantly disappointed. Yes for so many reasons at different times we are disappointed with one another.
©️ There is no healthy marriage or healthy family without the exercise of forgiveness. Forgiveness is the medicine of family joy and happiness
©️ Forgiveness is vital to our emotional health and spiritual survival. No matter the offence or who is the offender, without forgiveness, the family becomes an arena of conflict and a fortress of evil.
©️ Without forgiveness, the family becomes sick and unhealthy.
©️ Forgiveness is the asepsis of the soul, the purification of the spirit and the liberation of the heart. No sin is too big to be forgiven.
He who does not forgive does not have peace in his soul and cannot have communion with God.
©️ Unforgiving is evil and a poison that intoxicates & kills the one who refuses to forgive.
©️ Keeping heartache of unforgiving in your heart is a self-destructive gesture. It’s autophagy.
©️ Those who do not forgive are physically, emotionally and spiritually ill. And they will suffer in two ways.
For this reason, the family must be a place of life and not a place of death; a place of forgiveness, a place of paradise and not a place of hell; a healing territory and not a disease; an internship of forgiveness and not guilt.
Forgiveness brings joy where sorrow has brought sadness; of
Healing where sorrow has caused disease.
A family is a place of support and not of gossip and slander of one another. It must be a place of welcome not a place of rejection. Shame to those who plant evil about others. We are family and not enemies.
When anyone is going through a challenge all they need is support.
¤ By Pope Francisco
And this, this uneventful discovery——seemed like a trial for me to show me what 2022 will be made of
I faltered slightly when I first knew of this uneventful discovery. But I stood my ground and found my footing . And I know I have passed the test
Wow 2021. What a twist at the end and what a surprise you have handed me now. And I know this too shall pass and I will ride through this unscathed
I thought about emptiness — that I could use this as an opportunity to practise and for mediation of emptiness and impermanence. To take it as if I am watching a movie perhaps.
I tried to associate myself with these thoughts to anchor my mind
The fact is this disturbance this shakeup makes me want to search deeper for a place of calm and balance . Where is it ?
But it is a fact that this discovery has taken a toil on me . Much as I felt so tired and so torn, I want to continue on my path
That was my intention and it was what made me go for my second jab. I want to call back my life and the things I love even with Covid
I m ready
I thought of my reiki teacher Stephan . And he WhatsApp me this: “Dear Pin Yen, indeed I was thinking of you yesterday. Move from your mind to your heart, your gut, feel your feet in the earth. Trust in your steps, but be tactfull. Does that mean anything to you?”
I can’t help but laugh at the point of being tactful
And to which I replied : “ Very much so teacher dearest! 2021 gave me a shock at its tail where I discovered that there had not been complete honesty . And I uncovered how much anger I have for myself too. I learned a lot these few days. And I asked myself – in fact I m curious how I manifested these all. I want to know.
Just- What did the source want me to learn in this twist it delivered to me?
Forgiveness? The spectrum of emotions ? Getting closer to my heart?
Recognizing my self and my precious TPY who deserves nothing less but the very best
And indeed I went to place my feet in seawater to feel the earth
I just went for a sound bath and slept like a baby
The therapist sprayed some mist which is intended for one to feel self love. I smelled the sweet scent of it
And I was happy with myself for doing the best I could for myself and my family
And still will, not give up love. I thank you!!!”
I thought about the December energy update by Lee Harris and he said something like arising fire energy, a deep remembering of our ancient energy, breaks and sharp cutting ties and gifts of magic and the heart. I just didn’t think it would be so abrupt
This turn. But as with life, nothing falls short of surprises.
He suggests we try and capture ourselves with 2 questions
What are you grateful for in 2021?
I am grateful for the healing inspirational energy giving sunlight
I am grateful for the breath I breathe the life I have
I am grateful for all the healing I have experienced
I am grateful for Dr Loo who has written letters to help me children not vaccinate
I am grateful for all the nice people who have popped into my life and given me a hand
I am grateful to walk and run and to have the opportunity to pick up running
I am grateful to be in touch with teachings from all the spiritual masters and teachers
I am grateful to myself and my body
I am grateful for huaihao and QinZhi and my support system made up by my nanny and my family who loved me unconditionally
I am grateful that QinZhi and huaihao got into the schools just below our flat
I am grateful for my wisdom my beautiful mind and heart
I am grateful for myself
I am grateful for this discovery which freed up the real me the life force in me
I am grateful for my father and I am grateful I have the sanity to build a new relationship with him
I am grateful for knowing and recognizing that I don’t want to be stopped by my husband anymore
Or for that matter by any thing of the past any person any ——thing
I am grateful for meeting my inner child and for all the big and little realizations or messages the divine sent me
What are you calling forth in 2022
I call for a new relationship with myself! With TPY.
I am calling in open mindedness and love and compassion like never before
I call in more and more, these beautiful pockets of quiet stillness inspiration
I call in my connection to the divine to my masters my angels
I am calling in my truth as I always have been and is gifted to my soul many lifetimes and in this life to be with me
I am calling forth consciousness and awareness
I am calling in my ability to manifest my wonderful future and the days and moments all inI
I am calling forth the most inspiring and beautiful traveling experiences
I am calling in love and lots of unconditional love to be showered on me because I deserve and this is my birthright
I am calling in lots of wonderful opportunities for me to express my gifts my gratitude my love my soul
I am calling in vitality great energy great health abundance of wealth like never before
And therefore calling forth my wildest dreams
I m calling in and calling forth my intuitive abilities and capabilities , my innate potential to be expressed by the talents and gifts I have, in a way I m familiar and comfortable with, using my experiences to share outwards the light and love , warmth and hope I have received
I am calling in and calling forth all of my guardian angels, the source the creation the divine , and all the resources and support , all the inspiration and light, all the energy I need to carry out the above
I call in and call for protection blessings support love to be showered upon every cell in my body every inch of my soul at all levels of my existence
I am calling in my life force my source energy and connections .
Thank you and so it is.
In the new fairy moments ahead, I have called in and called for all these wonderful opportunities, resources and support we need to be unreservedly you, me, us.
To be mindful enough to free ourselves from any restrictive programs or mindsets.
.
We miraculously discover, BE(COME) and ground in exactly who we are and what we are born for.
In doing so, celebrate and express our innate truth, gifts, talents. In doing so, share our light.
2022, you will be sparkling magic. Thank you—- in advance.
Bardo Teachings by Tsoknyi Rinpoche
Day 1
Bardo means duration in between (2 states)
If we prepare properly no need to scared
Live dignified die dignified and you know where to go
Dignified = confidence
Confidence comes from realization which depends on correct information
Once we have correct information we put that into practice
When our practice becomes actualized, our confidence increase
Bardo teaching has 2 areas: bardo of dying and bardo of becoming
Sadong
bardo of dying
Bardo of dharmada
Nangwa
bardo of becoming
Bardo is a transition between one life and another
Once we know something is changing and something is not changing something is dying something is unable to finish or exhaust
One is essence and another is expression
The essence of our Buddha nature is beyond birth and death ie free of death
Expression is influenced by klesha karma and afflictions
We are followed by our karmic expressions and that has birth and death ie effected by karma
We should know what is moving changing and regain our confidence and our nature of our mind
Whether we can manage the bardo depends on the bardo of living , which is happening with us right now ie birth till point of death is what we are in right now
We are in the bardo of living
We have some means of controlling this
We can find and recognize our unchanging nature
Recognization of rigpa is our ultimate protection
Reflections are unreliable but we spend a lot of time on this
We can’t see the reflection is empty in form, we see it as real true nature
Key teaching of bardo deals with two areas: essence and expression/reflection
Really happy is : not afraid of unhappy
How to achieve this?
If we learn sadong and nangwa, we will have confidence
Nangwa changes: Effected or manipulated by karma. Karma has a time and duration, karma has birth and exhaust
At some point if we finish the karma of human living a life, the five elements expire by the influence of karma and Nangwa starts to change
Sadong and Nangwa function together and indivisible
What kind of Nangwa do we have now?
Our Nangwa is bardo of living now : from birth to now, it changes a lot
Did you live well?
Do you have any regrets ?
What are you going to do with your Nangwa ?
Impermanence is running in our life, sonnet or later it ends ie end of living bardo ie change of Nangwa
And that time where is my refuge? Do you have that certainty in your mind?
Most important key is not the teachings but our confidence in the recognition of it
Within the bardo of living there is bardo of dreams and bardo of meditation
We have a choice with these 2 bardos of dreams and meditation ie practise in preparation for the other bardos
Most important of 6 bardos is the bardo of meditation
Daytime we practise bardo of meditation and nighttime we practise bardo of dream
It is time to spend more time with these two bardos
If you read want smtg , spend time to do it ie regular discipline is very important . Regular means moment to moment not find excuses ie today is Xmas or new year and skip discipline that day/s ie self discipline is diminishing
As a practitioner everyday is precious
Combine the three points in everyday:
Self discipline + regular + moment to moment
ie use the moments in between work study etc to practise
Day 2
Dream Yoga practice
-intention: that when i dream i know it is my dream, and I can practise my chanting my meditation in my dream = i know i m alive, i m practising my meditation. In awaking hours as in sleep application of teachings
Use sleep and dream to practise
In that dream: you remember and know you are in dream, without waking up, you recognise natural mind
process and how you meditate in sleep is similar or reflective of how you meditate when awake
as soon as you recognise nature of mind, you wake up, that is good
When u see clear light ,either without perception, with perception
Bardo of dreams is important in bardo of teachings, because when we know it is dream, and when we are in the bardo of becoming, we can transfer consciousness to pure land, you have ability to go ie everything is illusion and not real.
in dream if you recognise rigpa (pristine awareness) and wake up, it indicates waking up from the bardo of dying
dying: there is a dissolution of the following in the order
form feeling perception formation consciousness
the first to dissolve is form: earth element starts to dissolve, outer sign is what others perceive, the sign of elements dissolving ; inner sign that only you perceive ie you see a clear light in your experience ie you are going closer to mother luminosity because all the aggregates that are blocking you previously are dissolving
somewhere in the death process: there is mother luminosity pulling you ie some kind of mirage
secondly, feeling starts to dissolve: water element starts to dissolve you feel thirsty, inner sign is incense smoke, the clear light comes in a big Tibetan incense smoke
third, perception is dissolving and heat element is dissolving, the warmth in your body is concluding. Inner sign of clear light is like a spark that comes to mind
fourth. formation or wind, qi element is dissolving. Outer sign: hard to breathe, Inner sign: candlelight happening
what do we do in this process? aware of clear light together with the natural mind
inner sign is mother luminosity
resting in rigpa is child luminosity
just welcome and rest in natural mind
supplicate to teachers
consciousness dissolves and element of space is dissolving. You are closer to mother luminosity, like a space spaciousness happens, many pple come back to life there this space this openness ie near death experience.
Inner sign: crystal clear pure experience
duration of these depends on your daily practice
up to here, you can still come back
after this point, no chance of coming back
if your lifetime and karma not exhausted, you are revived but quite rare
whoever comes back comes back with this understanding and experience of openness and spaciousness
finally space dissolves into clear light ie your own clear light
at that moment death happens
after death, 3 moments :
-appearance (inner mind klesha concepts will cease, inner sign like a moonlight without clouds)
– increase (more openness emptiness, inner sign like a sunrise like a dawn)
-attainment (ignorance unknowing kleshas will cease, more openness emptiness, inner sign is sun almost arise then one black shutdown happens and inner death happens)
outer death has happened, and now the inner death happens and suddenly something opens and mother luminosity opens fully
that is like when you sleep something happens you knockout, and before dream happens you are in clear light
for higher practitioner , they sleep and knockout is like a blink, and light happens
Day 3
1st chance : liberate to a rainbow body
when mother luminosity shows, child will recognise if child is healthy
when colours deities forms sounds appear, how long it last etc depends on how we relate to it, whether we see as pure phenomenal or perception depends on our practice
like when u go into amusement park, are you going to follow the sparks and go with the flow or follow you practice and not be distracted
keep your confidence : not closing your eyes not blocking your vision but moving and unmoving together
stillness and movement together
if you follow the show, would you not have wasted the ticket?
People are scared because no information, no preparation
2 things here: Actual truth vs (respect) Illusion
Realise : you are in emptiness and the magical display are expression of Sawa, spontaneous colour light
dharmakaya has 2 qualities, emptiness and form kaya
Just sit in your seat and watch the show and know it is form kaya and while form kaya is rising know it is the raise of dharma kaya
the show starts
all the lights and sound happens and you are moving everywhere in the ocean hitting the rock etc—then you realise this is illusion, you are in the room, but it is so real you feel you are really going to hit.
time to time you refresh the emptiness
movement and stillness are both happening
if u r not afraid, because you are not there, your physical form is gone, your mind only, within mind no me also, also the poisons also gone, what you have is pure perception, accepting all this is dharma kaya
all are pure and at some point, if you are not clinging or sucked into it, all attachments and aversion, beautiful also not attach, ugly also never scared, just respect the kaya, at the end you liberate
if you are afraid, because karma not completely exhaust and we didn’t get the chance to liberate , bardo of becoming start to happen: scary sound, duality etc all area mental formation, projection of mind, because of fear attachments…..then whatever departed start to join.
There’s a moment before rebirth of consciousness travelling = bardo of becoming normally is 29 days but can last longer or last
Klesha mind perception form all come back any thought comes and you r already there
you see all the things that happened in life just gone and see things that will happen in next life
its a sad moment for us – looking at rebirth
so here: how to help yourself and others
no need to be scared, be stable yourself, remember our practice: let it go, its the attachments that are making the suffering, think of positive less the negative . Talk, communicate, you have passed away, let it go
do puja pray
important to die a clean death
go with dharma and let go the rest: process everything properly will etc, so there is less confusion to next generation etc and therefore less confusion to yourself. so it does not affect you in the bardo
die with regret
want to say smthg do smitg but no more physical yet your mind still clinging–that is the worst thing for yourself
do a smart way of dying: clean death with preparation, dignified confidence integrity and joy
that will help you and your next generation
normal human beings have 3 major object of attachments :
- we are permanently living wth beautiful phenomenal as we call our world, we are not sure if we will come back, this magical display this world is quite beautiful and we like it, life is so amazing esp human life wa so beautiful- please appreciate now but it will not last so prepare also
- family and loved ones: you will be living away from them so live well with family,, partners , friends, you might not live forever, try not to be overly sensitive in small things: use bodhisattva heart- strong compassionate heart, this has all the solutions . Love doesn’t mean you need to win all the time, losing is part of love, you don’t need to win. Basic respect is there but you don’t need to win, its ok to lose sometimes. Live well, die well
- wealth: you earned it but didn’t use it, i was whole life stingy, now you feel regret , what to do? Be smart about your wealth, should not be because of wealth you get confusion in the bardo
When you are in the bardo of becoming, ie you missed all chance of liberation,
-first thing realise: know you are in the bardo: recognition is very important
one of the easiest place to go is amitabha or avalokitesvara guru rinpoche etc-you still have to practice , at least you do not fall into samsara
the best is recognition of natural mind
live well and when you live well, you die very well
Practice of the Four Immeasurable Qualities
On 27 and 28 November, H.E. Tsoknyi Rinpoche gives a teaching of The Practice of the Four Immeasurable Qualities – loving-kindness, compassion, sympathetic joy & equanimity – is the foundation of all Buddhist teachings to give rise to the sublime qualities of bodhicitta, the heart and mind of enlightenment. It dispels all our sufferings and manifests happiness and serenity in us.
To cultivate the Four Immeasurables requires a deep understanding of its meaning and genuine practice, time and again, in our daily life. H.E. Tsoknyi Rinpoche’s simple yet profound teaching serves to clarify these four immeasurable qualities and deeply root them in our mind. In time, with diligent practice, the heart will gradually open up and transform into boundless loving-kindness, compassion, sympathetic joy & equanimity for ourselves and others.
This teaching is organised by Pundarika Malaysia with support from Tsoknyi Rinpoche Singapore.
Below is content as said by Tsoknyi Rinpoche on Nov 27.
Four Immeasurable qualities – loving-kindness, compassion, sympathetic joy & equanimity is fundamental teaching for becoming bodhisattva and eventually becoming enlightened
door to bodhicitta
seed of bodhicitta
relevant in modern life
we need bodhiccita more than ever in our time
in one way, our world is going forward in many sense, esp medical economical world, but at same time, we are also facing some challenges and difficulties
we are facing subtle but pervasive suffering lack of spirituality and lack of bodhicitta
lack of true basic love
lack of connecting with our true nature suffused by love and loving kindness
we don’t really acknowledge the subtle suffering but affecting our lives and well being , mood way of thinking emotion, and we don’t really look for solution
creates a sad experience for ourselves and others, but many times pple don’t acknowledge the sadness
creates conflict between generations
to change the world starts from changing ourselves
time to time we need to change
focus of compassion traditionally is on pple who ae experiencing suffering, in times of now, we can turn the focus on the subtle
bodhicitta focus on all sentient beings, and on selfless love. But to achieve that we need to focus on ourselves first. The healthy self first, focus on making the healthy self in order to express bodhicitta selflessly to all sentient beings
keep intention selfless and for all sentient beings, to achieve that we have to start from ourselves and me
if our self is not healthy, we cannot express loving kindness to our loved ones and to all sentient beings
loving
many self is broken, tainted and becomes unhealthy
revive essence love
out of four immeasurable, most important is love and loving kindness
time to time we have to practice together
essence of loving kindness= essence love= express to someone abt your love care your willingness to offer protection and your wish of well being for others
pple think want to help but we don’t feel it
revive that basic wellbeing of essence love
otherwise its just a good idea, great thought but as a person are you able to do it
that hollow in you is more urgent than helping others
essence love: in subtle body language= bindu= not physical not cognition mind, in between there’s a special feeling connected to subtle body and is emerging and born or manifest out of bindu
bindu: not physical cognitive thinking,
prana: qi
nadi: nerve, subtle nerve
bindu, energy flow in nadi carried by qi, when it flows into different channels we feel good, when there is blockage, it doesn’t flow properly, we have different moods emotions and blocks essence love
subtle body has 2 levels: subtle and very subtle
the subtle dies with death of physical body
the very subtle goes with consciousness in bardo and carries into next life
without any reason, just feel ok in the core
we have misconception: we need to feel ok because of a reason,
pls don’t give it any reason or measure it, compare it
it is your birthright
it is part of your nature: no need reason
you have right to experience that
you experience when you are young
only thing is you didn’t know it
you didn’t know in the language of cognition but you experienced it: we lost that touch
that openness
that playfulness
that humour
we become serious task oriented we lost beautiful innocence in ourselves
essence love practice is to reconnect with that innocence okayness of basic beautiful love
when you nurture that you feel happy
you keep looking for why i m happy
you simply cannot accept that happiness
we are measuring comparing , and we start looking at unfulfilled areas, smthg happened 10 years ago and we look at that area, or smthg that might happen in future and we invite fear
there’s no time to simply appreciate that beauty
why cant you simply acknowledge that essence love is that one source of happiness
but instead worry all possibilities of smthg that might happen
of course smthg might happen in future, there are so many possibilities of change, negative to positive , positive to negative, this is the natural law you cannot fight
but we can be smart with them
what you are doing, learning, is a smart way of dealing with nature
acceptance is smart way of dealing with them
accept = when don’t accept everything, you realise you need to accept eg aging, but you can still be healthy
aging does not mean you should go down and be unhealthy
it could be that you have more money to spend, more time to practice essence love
we forget that essence love is one source of happiness
when you are happy you want to make people happy
making people happy is loving kindness= there are many different ways, simplest way is your smile, greetings, your tone of voice, your behaviour , how you move your body language, if your inner experience is cloudy moody, you only see your front road your negative mind more
when we experience essence love, we feel courage we are not bounded by chain of fear and that has tremendous power
best way of breaking chain of fear is essence love: you feel happy , less fear
not all fear are bad, there is healthy fear but there is no reference, there is no ground to judge as all is mixed up, when that happens we make a mistakes
when measurements come to you, it brings a lot of things, but your happiness is not that
of course there is many other happiness i call that extra happiness that comes and goes but but core happiness is from essence love: be confident and rest in this knowledge
but this code happiness if you know how to connect with this, it stays with you forever, that is real home, mental home, don’t be homeless in this way.
don’t have to be bothered by others, eventually they will experience your essence love
if you have doubts of essence love, don’t believe it, doubt is temporary and impermanent, comes and goes, don’t serve tea to doubt, or you are shaking your understanding and experience of essence love
just rest and be normal and humble and relax with this, appreciate it
drop the thinking mind, invite the awareness mind and be aware of feelings
just be aware of hat is connecting with body, just be aware
just feel and be aware
let it be open
openness comes from non judgement
the inner world manifest but we are not judging
non judging is kindness
allowing to manifest anything
allowing is kindness
openness is beyond like and dislike
relax with that openness
confusion might arise, its ok. arising of thoughts is ok, non arising is also ok
we have so many ways to express ourselves
let it be expressed
and that is freedom
freedom is kindness
be kind to yourself
let it come right or wrong, be open to all
okayness of essence love is bigger than clouds, turbulence, its a space
fear comes, be kind to the fear
fear is trying to protect you, be aware of fear, be okay to fear
one day fear and okayness coexist and that is essence love there
there might be fear but deep down is essence love
that okayness is essence love and there is a special feeling of well being
healthy to experience essence love when you have fear
be honest with your feelings
just say hi and not judge with open attitude in the sense of not blocking unpleasant feeling
there is another special feeling beyond pleasant and unpleasant
there is a special feeling beyond pleasant and unpleasant, and this special feeling can host pleasant and unpleasant feelings
in being okay with pleasant and unpleasant
and that is essence love
nurture that
nurture by simply being , be with that
being with it is nurturing
relaxing with that is nurturing
honour it
honouring is nurturing
paying attention with essence love is nurturing
no comparing is nurturing
without reason is nurturing
if keep doing that, there is an expression of essence love and you bring a mindful immeasurable mind training
all sentient beings wants happiness and the cause of happiness
may i be the person who can provide happiness to others
based on my essence love, i train myself to bring happiness to others to protect from unhappiness
may i become the protector of happiness, i would like to lead many pple to happiness
may i have the potential and the opportunity to use my potential in the right way
mind heart become one, connected and focussed for the well being of others
on the way of training this , sometimes it might not feel this way, be aware of this blockage, don’t need to feel sad. we all have this blockage and different issues
we all have different imprints and manifest different experiences
we have all different beautiful monsters, be aware of that
be kind to it, say hi to your blockages, its ok to have blockages, try not to suppress
be aware of these and just say hi
smile at these and feel them and practise lovingkindness with these
attitude changes, and change of attitude is kindness
the blockages is not me , is my imprint
something happened, it is impermanent, it is emptiness also
it might open up , don’t get too excited, just be ok with openness
this blockage might come again next time, be ok with that, that okayness is kindness
this blockage might not come again, be okay with that,
that okayness grows in you
and that is first step of developing essence love into expression love
the okayness kills irrelevant unhealthy fear
blockages might happen but okayness is opening eyes
okay with all the changes
okayness is fundamental solution along with all other solutions in life, its a mental strength that will solve your ups and downs and gives courage, not only your problem, but will help with others problems
this age needs this practice
you can connect anytime
time to time connect with that equanimity
pple think that essence love will come only with suffering but that is not true
when u lose faith in love, that is expression love, that love has obj and subj, you are losing faith in that, but even so, you do not lose essence love
you lose trust of duality love, you might face broken love with duality but you cannot ignore your birthright called essence love that is always loving to you even if you hate yourself
you might have unhappy experiences in conditional love but its impossible to have unhappy experience with essence love
to heal conditional love, only way is connect with essence love
heal beautiful monster first, internally you gain strength
then u express love and not afraid of taking love from others
Teaching on 28 Nov
Nov 28
After we practise essence love, we will have less unnecessary suffering, hopefully we find ourselves at home with confidence , a little bit of joy without reason, subtle and gentle happiness without reason
because of that we become a little less busy fixing on ourselves
Its human nature when we don’t feel ok, we want to feel ok and fix not ok to be ok—–not ok in the sense of hollow, meaningless and we want to fill that hollow by any means
we have the right to feel ok, but when we don’t feel ok and want to fix that hollow
and the beginning of inner consumption happens, of course there is consumerism on the outside but it opens inner hungry and we trying to fill the gap of the hollow, could be a spiritual consumerism might happen
so now you found okayness you are home you feel happy a little bit of joy and suddenly you have time . Wow i am not fixing myself , I am ok
I am ok with not ok
I don’t need to be busy fixing myself
there is an energy, urge and inner movement
what shall i do with this energy?
it starts to express and manifest
what shall i do with that
fix others ie fixing might not be a suitable word but it means to do smthg for others, this energy will not sleep
before, it was fixing myself, now it is fixing others and that is the beginning of expression love and it comes from essence love without hollowness
when you help others with joy, helping others can be a way of fixing myself, but now not anymore because i have essence love which is part of buddha nature
seed of relative bodhicitta starts to grow without hope fear to fix myself: this energy is inside me to focus on others, lets practise loving kindness unbiased loving kindness which is the fourth immeasurable, you are helping any sentient being close and far
when you don’t have fear and hope on yourself, you don’t need to fix yourself, lets use bodhicitta energy to help others
lets train my mind and heart
loving kindness if focussing based on happiness: may i bring happiness to all sentient beings
may i bring the cause of happiness to them
happiness is individual
there is a standard happiness and individual happiness
basic common happiness is related to physical body needs, almost all sentient beings have pain and pleasure
mental happiness is more complex, hopefully we have wisdom to help them grow based on case by case basis and on a non violent approach
individual happiness always need to go with non violence-means physical emotional and mental states
ultimate happiness is nirvana liberation and buddha hood
may i bring all sentient beings ultimate happiness ie end of suffering, end of 3 types of suffering, free from duality combination of ultimate bodhicitta and relative bodhicitta, i would like to serve all sentient beings and bring a state of buddhahood to all sentient beings
i may not have capacity now but i want to do that
this can happen when i have freedom
relative help i can help along the path of buddha hood; ultimate happiness i must achieve first if not I don’t have the power to serve all sentient beings
i decide right now that I will take the bodhisattva vow to serve all sentient beings, its a big promise but i m not aiming to achieve in one lifetime
i don’t mind how long it takes i m willing to take the risk. it is good risk, why not?
if i don’t do it now, when?liberation buddhahood might take several lifetimes or 500 lifetimes or how long, i don’t mind
it is a big heart to take the commitment
to achieve that i need to practise myself : all my practice is to heal suffering of others, i should practise the paramitas
i need a team of paramitas to lead my journey successfully
this heart starts to express essence love and essence love becomes bigger and bigger, big as vast as space: as long as sentient beings are in universe, may i become a useful person
i think big but start small: start this practice from my home with my children with my parents my partner and with myself, this 6 paramitas practice
I have to help myself, i have to be healthy myself, i have to be strong myself, this strong person can cary the mission of helping others: i should eat proper food and sleep at the right time, i should behave properly , follow bodhisattva ‘s path and practise emptiness express my relative bodhicittas etc accumulation of merit and wisdom, the 2 wings of the bird, i should stay still , i should practise samadhi, vipassana natural mind , to go beyond duality, I should take this seriously: so this heart is opening
Unless you have essence love, not easy to open heart. You might have beautiful thoughts and concepts but thought without feeling, concept without heart, so lets open heart first, when heart starts to express , thought follows
2 ways: thought brings feeling or feeling brings thought. in modern times a lot of the heart is blocked as we overtrain too much our thoughts as we train the cognitive and conceptual mind, we neglect feelings: now is time to take care of feelings
take care of your beautiful baby heart, its ok to be baby sometimes, bring humour and spontaneity that is part of baby, the carefree part with adult mind. Mind should grow up, heart should be sometimes baby
Head don’t be baby, will mess up everything. Think properly.
Ffeel essence love warmness of bodhicitta- this combination will fix yourself and others. Feelings come from heart; understanding comes from head: if you have both you have both wings and fly to nirvana.
Bodhisattva wings are very big, just be big hearted
When you have big heart, you are ready to see sufferings and is not afraid of suffering, is willing to suffer for others, compassion is not easy but can be achieved. compassion is focussed on eliminating suffering. Loving kindness is bringing happiness. Loving kindness turn into compassion and there’s a willingness to take on difficulties, not enjoying only your practice, you almost enjoying difficulties of others on yourself—there is guts, heroic heart mind. Whenever there is conflict or difficulty, you think about getting there and doing something, even if it might affect me, but I have essence love. I can go in and go out also, there’s not a dead road but light at the end of the tunnel. I know how to manage my state of mind, I will not be broken hearted or break down. i know how to manage my internal emotions and i can come back to my home, and I m willing to take difficulties. That is not easy but easy to say. Its difficult to do, but if you do a little bit it has tremendous effect. It directly connects with your self centredness, self cherishing I is provoked.
I- i want to be relaxed have my own time, everyone should have their own time, why should I help? Everyone has ability to fix their own problems why should I be involved? There are thousands of reasons not to be involved, rights, karma etc not to fix others problems. And we miss out-hidden agenda within us, to be caught up in modern comforts. Trying to maintain comfort zone.
I will do bodhisattva activity if I m in my comfort zone, i can help when I m in my comfort zone but once I m out I m sorry. eg I have to have air purifier in my room, I must have the right temperature etc then I can conduct bodhisattva’s activity. Without that I will pray for you.
Many people have good hearts but many are locked up in their comfort zone. As a bodhisattva you need to suffer a little. High low temperature doesn’t matter, without air purifiers doesn’t matter, this comfort zone comes from the chicken hearted—-you can be easily trapped inside this
We need guts to breakout of cocoon of comfort zone, in trying to minimise pain of sentient beings, when you have that heart, it is compassion, that heart will drive your thoughts.
When you have compassionate heart, you will find the solutions, humans have the ability —- if you really want to do something, you will figure it out
If you have a heart of compassion, we will find out from our intelligent mind what to do. For me, between thoughts and feelings , feelings are more powerful. If you want to do something and you feel from your heart deep down, you will find a solution to complete that wish, you will step out of comfort zone. And you will sacrifice. If you can see great beings in this world, they all have this urge from the heart first then they look for solutions. Milarepa has this urge from the heart. Every human has a secret agenda, as a buddhist this is our secret agenda -loving kindness compassion is our hidden agenda. Normally hidden agenda others don’t know , so when you practise this bodhicitta , people don’t know, if they know its ok, if they don’t know you don’t need to say it. You don’t need anyone’s approval, confirmation or appreciation
You can be a normal person but having the heart of a bodhicitta, mind of wisdom, you can practise in any field. You maybe practicing the path of bodhissatva for 10 years but your partner does not know, but you always give surprises. He or she doesn’t need to know. You are generating inner beauty, inner beauty doesn’t age. Physical beauty might age, not mind. Your relationship with partner maintained by bodhicitta,
In order to maintain the relationship, you need to have attraction. Bodhicitta is the source of attraction. Every sentient being appreciates goodness of something, when you naturally display goodness, others are surprised . That surprise will maintain your relationship and keeps its going as you do more practice.
I appreciate people who display goodness, it makes me cry
You don’t have to say: i am a bodhisattva practitioner , you have to bring tea to my door and know that i am doing this for all
Talk or don’t talk doesn’t matter, the warmness of your heart will warm others
Long term partners don’t usually talk, scared of talking I know, but not talking does not mean you need to be frozen or cold with each other. Sometimes not talking is also co-operation. But always be warm hearted with bodhicitta.
One day both parties will be happy even if don’t talk. Warmth of sun of bodhicitta is warming things . Both very comfortable in the house.Bodhicitta needs to begin at home with your children parents partners
The world is not perfect. Bodhicitta is not about being perfect to others, bodhicitta is embracing others, not correcting others but helping others, there’s no win or lose, not right and wrong. Very hard to say what is right and wrong, due to different perspectives. Many family problems occurs because of different perspectives of claiming right and wrong.. different opinions different ways of expressing…which, is very small things, ok to lose sometimes. Bodhicitta is not asking to win all the time. Losing something is also part of the bodhicitta sometimes. Its very beautiful practise— i wish the world can do more of this lovingkindness and compassion practice.
‘Please teach my wife bodhicitta, i want her to practise more and she will follow what i say or what i want. I want to help her, she’s really suffering. I really feel compassion to her’——-if you have really this compassion its good but you might need to change something. If you really want to practise, you have to change something. Nobody is always right and nobody is always wrong.
If someone claims he is always right it means he is always wrong. Bodhisattva is willingness to take suffering difficulties sacrifice with strong heart. Compassion does not have any romantic sense-its a hard core practice . Don’t think you practice compassion and you will be happy. You will have happiness in the form of satisfaction, not happy happy but in the form of satisfaction .
Don’t aim for happy happy you will have a different kind of happiness within the suffering in the satisfaction way, its a deeper form of happiness outside of comfort zone happiness, within the difficulties. There will be joy, a different kind of joy, and you want that joy for all sentient beings. May they be free from sufferings and always be in happiness and joy, and this joy is not elimination of suffering, is joy with bodhicitta’s heart and wisdom. Bodhisattvas never wish there is no suffering, there’s always suffering, and may I go there to do something and suffer together and reduce the suffering of others.
When you practise compassion, it is the beginning of bodhicitta
——Practice——-
Sometimes when we train compassion, we get lost into our thoughts. When this happens, come back to focus on essence love, use mindfulness and awareness and reconnect with your basic well being. Or you can recognise your natural mind.Natural mind is ultimate bodhicitta. Free from duality -no subject no object you are no generating anything you just be in it. Don’t worry about the feelings, thoughts, just stay—as a mirror. You do not need to feel guilty that you are not feeling anything towards sentient beings.
Natural mind is eliminating ignorance and bringing more wisdom. On the way to help sentient beings we need wisdom. Resting in natural mind is also bodhicitta. Because I have to be free from confusion, more clear and my mission becomes more successful. If I become calm and clear and luminous, my mission becomes more effective.
I don’t feel sentient beings at this moment, but resting in natural mind is part of helping sentient beings. Because I didn’t lose my hidden agenda, resting in natural mind is fulfilling my agenda. If we are clear of our hidden agenda, no matter what you do, the practice is part of bodhicitta. Bodhicitta is not always i feel you I love you, sometimes no feeling but making yourself more capable -so you don’t need to feel guilty.
We are all tainted by our imprints, reacts to our triggers. we are not that different
Embodying the Bodhisattva Ideal : Khandro-La
Spent some time on sunday night on this wonderful talk by Khandro La whom I met in Dharamsala, India a few years back
The contents I have captured here, otherwise in youtube above.
Shantideva is referred in the Tibetan world: life-force of buddhism in tibet and the larger buddhist world
The Way of the Bodhisattva-by Shantideva
10 chapters,
1 line captures the essence: “May the precious bodhicchita arise where it has not arisen” and where it has arisen, may it not decrease and increase further and further
Sentient beings do not want to suffer, all sentient beings want happiness
Suffering has a cause, likewise, happiness has a cause
Happiness and suffering came through interdependence
Chap 1: benefits of bodhicitta
https://www.lotsawahouse.org/indian-masters/shantideva/bodhicharyavatara-1
if we don’t understand the benefits of bodhicitta it will be difficult to keep that intention
bodhicitta: inside the mind, inside the precious altruistic mind of enlightenment that has been tamed.
mind that has not been tamed is full of suffering
methods of taming mind is v important
we have (precious karma ) to achieve this precious human body
how do we make it meaningful
deep inside mind, there are untamed problems and difficulties, we need to see methods for taming our own mind, see how mind endowed with love, loving kindness is so important to tame the mind
examine ourselves to see the accumulations of merit and wisdom
identifying recognising and acknowledging suffering is v important
suffering comes from self centredness or ego fixation or conceptual mind of ignorance , ie a distorted mind state
distorted mind has ways of grasping and holding things incorrectly
eg what is impermanent is held to be permanent, gives rise to attachment and anger
what is unclean is held to be clean
what is not self is held to be self
all misunderstandings are distorted mind
subject and object are not seen in nature not seen for what they are, and gives rise to grasping and we have desires anger ill will dullness wrong view
with these it seems we cant find bodhicitta
ignorance or not knowing holds things as being permanent, real or true, substantial and holds oneself and others to be concrete and real
and what comes from that is suffering
at the root, we find this sense of self: me: what is mine is important
when we have a mind like that, our mind is very small
anytime our understanding is in contradiction to the way things are: we are in confusion
when we look at sense of self importance, based on idea that i m good what i have is good, eg my body , my, we cling, when we look at it in terms of its parts, we start to see the body as what it actually is
the body is flesh, fluid, bones, composed of different parts
as mind, we see that we are grasping to my body and give rise to afflictive emotions such as desire, aversion, envy, ill will, wrong view etc
if we see that our own body, underlying reality of our body, we understand that nature which is also the nature of reality, we come to understand if we use the body well, it is the best support for accomplishing what is truly meaningful such as omniscience, liberation,
grasping onto ourselves, self centred grasping , based on holding ourselves as the most important, most precious, this comes from self cherishing, and whatever happens, we want the best for ourselves
we need to reverse this tendency, ie cherish others more than ourselves
the way to do this is by reflecting: the number of other beings is unlimited and there is only one me
consider: myself and others are the same in wanting happiness and not wanting to suffer
doesn’t make sense: that gd things or anything that is desirable, why should I have this only for myself? in fact all of us want the same things such as praise,
so turn that around and self cherishing into other cherishing
this is taming the mind: reduce our self importance and self cherishing
our mind can become better with this
taming the mind: if we understand the way mind clings , ie all things we experience that holds things as real is not like the way we grasp, if we understand, we can destroy our own grasping and our mind can open up open widely to actual path of liberation that leads to omniscience
and all the qualities we wish for can manifest
then we can look towards enlightenment which means purified and expanded
when we understand that everything is not substantial and solid as we hold, we purify by understanding how things actually are, the our cherishing can be purified and exhausted
when this happens we can experience genuine renunciation
sometimes we may have a little bit of renunciation compassion from time to time, but it vanishes when we cling
when the inner mind that is experiencing outer objects are not established, we can have genuine renunciation then we can have authentic love for others and ripen into bodhicitta
important to understand that bodhicitta comes from taming the mind not just hoping for it or mere words or aspiration.
bodhicitta comes from equalising self and others
and understanding that the conceptual mind and everything we perceive is not substantial
same as realising the nature of mind: simplicity and beyond constructs
anything or what is based on cause and condition is not truly established or substantial
when can understand this, the sentient beings who wander based on their karma, we can feel compassion rooted in dharma arise
this understanding towards other beings is important
Chap 1:benefits of bodhicitta
Chap 2: confession of negativity
https://www.lotsawahouse.org/indian-masters/shantideva/bodhicharyavatara-2
Chap 3: Fully Adopting Bodhicitta
https://www.lotsawahouse.org/indian-masters/shantideva/bodhicharyavatara-3
Chap 4&5: we can have expansive and lifted mind
Chap 6: Patience
because of our distorted view, we have been wandering in samsara since the beginningless of time
when mind becomes vast it is because we understand emptiness more and more, and mind becomes honest
the more honest the mind is the more good the mind becomes
Qns: how can we be kind or feel altruistic or bodhicitta towards someone who has harmed us?
we are humans aren’t we, we can arouse our mindful awareness to try not to get angry
anger doesn’t benefit others nor ourselves
when we encounter a bad situation or condition, try to be skilful, we need to have some insights, can i change this situation. if we can, lets try to change it. if nothing can be done, we leave it and let it go
if we understand that phenomenal are not concrete or truly real, we understand that the grasping is the prob , this is based on ignorance or our misunderstanding, then we can feel compassion towards that person and see that he or she has fundamental misunderstandings about the reality
with understanding we can have compassion patience
Qns: what is the best way to help family who has strong afflictive feelings or a difficult time
if we can see and recognise afflictive emotions, its good
in general having a good altruistic mind is a universal right, its not about being a buddhist, its a birthright for all to be happy
but beings are caught in samsara: suffering and distraction can come at any time, towards all beings, we wish them happiness mental and physical and to go beyond suffering and to have liberation
this affectionate loving mind is so important to have and to receive
we do not have to hold on to the idea of a buddhist, just be honest, loving,
rely on the six paramitas on our path : our best companion on the path: we do not have to hold on to bad things done to us, bring forth view of interdependence and conduct of non violence and causing no harm
Running/ Walking (vi)
I always hear this, from John.
He always says , “ it’s not the essential oil not the product, it’s the process. It’s the process.”
I used to be perturbed . If the protocol is there, why does he still say this? But I finally got an inkling of what he means this morning as I repeated my running challenge
He can prescribe a protocol of oils to use for any condition but different people would arrive at different results
Of course the physical conditions would vary but I realise also the importance of the process
As I ran , I kept drawing in the Sun’s light and energy into my body and my being , to cleanse my insides
On another day, what came though from the skies was not intense sunlight but a soft glow. Yet another, the day began moist chilly with little light
I did this everyday and even the process is different everyday. The process of breathing in and cleansing is different everyday .
The process is different because what I breathed in is different and so many more
And so the results will be different
Today as I ran and walked and breathed, breathed in light at the pelvic keloids, I saw the baby skin beneath and I heard something else—— that the keloids have been almost a shield for me all these years as I moved through it all. I might have been hurt more or less protected had it not been for the keloids who have come on this way to shield me.
Before I was ready to face the world with myself and the experiences that I have.
Now I m ready and I heard myself thank the keloids for being here with me all this while. This is certainly yet another step after accepting them as part of me —— something I realized yesterday in my run .
And so they say, 11.11 is a very special day and opens us up to a new portal of ascension and being.
May light be always with you.
Running/ Walking (v)
For the fourth consecutive day I ran.
Like a little date I have with myself and the sun and along the way, I have lots of wonderful thoughts/ realizations that come through.
This morning as I ran facing the sun, something in my body opened up and I saw a thought/ realization bloom.
To forgive, do we need there to be a reason ? If so. Just the very fact that I m running like that now, in this way now is the reason.
There are so many new things I want to get on to, and I have progressed and processed so much along the way.
Just running like that is enough for me to forgive, if I have anything else to forgive.
I m always so intrigued by the littlest birds taking on the sky. Soaring in the space. Playing with the space. I see them stretch out and open up their little wings and explore the space. So free so beautiful so wonderful! I want to be that light.
If we can afford that magnanimity at heart and have this kind of space, anything and every issue we have would be little by comparison
I saw a squirrel dancing it’s way up a tree . So light ! As if there is no body weight. I want to be like it.
I ran and let the sunlight cleanse may body. I said my affirmations
I feel myself bathed in sunlight. And it giving me energy
I feel my body warming up. I lifted my body and ran. Lifted the weight off my feet. It’s a different feeling
No wonder we repeat. Because in repetitive motion, we realise we find we breakthrough.
I saw a red ixora bloom.
I had to peel open some leaves to see it. Why hide? You are beautiful in your every right.
No matter how big or small, show your colour for that is your power.
I saw the grace in falling. Just as blooming and opening up is nature, so is falling and closing. And it would be beautiful because it has experienced bloom.
So, bloom!
Loving how nature is speaking to me.
And when I opened WhatsApp, teacher sent me this
Khadro-La (i)
KHANDRO LA did a talk on this topic: The Method to Cultivate Mental Happiness and I took notes on the way. I hope it offers some light to you just as these words did to me.
Countless bodhisattvas have come to teach and some are amongst you
All beings want to be free from suffering
Having good heart and good mind, good action are all good for all, regardless of religion
Mind- subj so vast
what is suffering?
process that doesn’t require to be religious
wish to be happy and free from sufferings naturally abides in everyone
view
behaviour that arises from view
if view is perfect, behaviour is positive
correct view that motivates behaviour
what is correct view?
correct view= correctly understanding nature and entity of reality
wise person who wants to be happy and free from suffering= spends time understanding nature of phenomena
emptiness
we need to lock in this view: in relation to mind
the nature of mind
the mind is distorted or afflicted by delusions attachment anger etc
we grasp onto phenomena as if they were existing in themselves
all these working of mind, is called afflicted wisdom= distorted reality = sufferings to ourselves
Enquire the profound view of emptiness
Distinguish
phenomena is empty of intrinsic existence ?
when we speak about any phenomena
it arises by way of dependence
by nature it is emptiness
at level of conventionality , all phenomena arise because they are dependently related
this is not a concept of religion
this is nature itself!
based on honest ultimate mind and not due to perception of sensory
all phenomena is impermanent
completely unreliable and deceiving , this is what destroys ourselves and all other sentient beings
what is a reliable reality: mid of enlightened and bodhicitta
completely understanding of emptiness
we rely on these undeceiving reality and a stable virtuous mind
correct view—> correct behaviour
whether in family, society, world : we use afflicted wisdom which brings the exact opposite of what we want—>deluded view, brings about more sufferings
if we adopt correct view of phenomena which are that they do not intrinsically exist, and that all beings want to be free of suffering, this brings opposite
the basis of correct view is in us, but we don’t use it, its not even smthg we can buy
peace comes from correct view and behaviour
one needs to educated mind on this subject then we will get real happiness and real blossoming of peace and happiness
qns ourselves
how does reality exist?
is liberation from suffering achievable?
liberation and suffering has to do with the mind, not smtg outside
affliction and liberation has to do with the mind
this is the most precious thing of all
the nature of the mind-which has the potential to achieve enlightenment and bring about universal compassion and correct bahevior of non violence
if u develop qualities of mind based on wisdom of dependent origination= based on reasoning, love, compassion
recognising positive and negative states of mind
sustaining and supporting with right understanding
do not necessarily need religion for a peaceful mind
how to educate children?
supporting the development of children in framework of honest sincere open far sighted etc
bottomline:how parents show and teach children is impt
deeper connection to each other and to understand nature of reality
-so evident now is interconnection of us all in the world and so important
-more honesty more beneficial for us all int he world
-if we have a system of education and future of world depends on us and our interdependence
-not by making prayer and devotional activities but we need education
what is the benefit of having ordained nuns
- monks and nuns learn and practice the preservation of teachings of realisation
- renunciation
- we have the same potential to develop the same qualities as monks and nuns
How to develop authentic faith in one’s mind?
the importance and need of faith, we want to be happy and don’t want to suffer
what is faith?
based on understanding that suffering has causes and can be eliminated
happiness has causes and can be produced
there is a path and method to bring about this
and understanding this brings joy
emotional faith is based on afflictions
pls practice practise practise
develop honesty of mind-achieve
dedicate merits
there are great beings on this planet
The Wisdom of Trauma
Trauma can be transformed . The energy of trauma can be changed. The work is upon us. The intention is upon us —- how to use our trauma.
This is exactly what Tibetan Buddhism has been focusing on—- transformation. And today I saw this in a movie on Gabor Mate.
https://wisdomoftrauma.com/movie/
Extremely powerful, beautiful and insightful, powered by Gabor Maté ‘s deep inquiry into his life and soulful voice no less.T
These are some quotes I picked up from the movie. Too much wisdom !
Working with trauma can reveal the beauty of our existence – we have lost sight of
Our job is to learn from our suffering
There’s Wisdom in trauma
Traumatic response is our imprint and not ourselves
We can work them through and become ourselves
Trauma is what happens inside you as a result of what happens outside you
Trauma is a disconnection
Because it’s too painful to be ourselves
It becomes a lifelong dynamic when pple don’t know what to do with emotions
When you feel you withdraw
You don’t follow gut feeling
Create situations of risk for ourselves
Affect mid frontal cortex of brain
⁃ affect how we deal with emotions pple
When pain is there as a child, they don’t know who to share with as a child
They disconnect
Children don’t get traumatized when they are hurt
Children get traumatized because They are alone when they are hurt
They are overwhelmed
Babies need fathers and mothers brain to regulate their brains
They need to be held
When baby isn’t being held he is not attached to
They can be attached only physically
They need to be held
Child is desperate for a relationship
For trauma to happen you just need parents who let child cry
Fear of being abandoned
When you do stuff for other pple what are you doing to yourself
(Abandoning me)
You absorb their pain and manifest it
And your family can’t stand you can’t stand seeing it
Child have 2 fundamental needs
-attachment
-authenticity : connection to ourselves to gut feelings
A survival necessity
What happens when you have to suppress gut and authenticity?
Normal Society doesn’t allow anger
Child disconnects fr anger
Helping child love thru anger to modulate anger and confront anger and not to suppress it
Anger does not have to be destructive
Brutal to push down the rage to judge
The depression was a major success not a failure
⁃ not wanting to get out of bed
Having Pain showed you deeper into yourself how you were abandoning yourself
Addiction
⁃ A behavior pple find relief in Eg eating shopping gaming work etc
⁃ Why the pain
⁃ Choice or inherited : When pple r suffering they want to escape that’s normal
⁃ Huge emptiness inside and Use addiction to complete themselves and cover up using substances
⁃ A response to trauma
⁃ To heal addiction heal the trauma
⁃ Under traumatized persona There’s a healthy individual who has never find expression and relationships where authentic humanic could be expressed
Are we conscious and making decision based on full awareness or driven by unconscious dynamics developed as a response to childhood trauma
Then we are not free
It’s not what’s wrong with us but what happened to us
Rae Mate
It’s got to b my job to heal Hitomi bring out that light
I believe that the Purpose of Marriage is to go back to to original trauma which comes fr the family
I married a man who is so much like my father
I have to be me
I have to be authentic
My nervous system is so wired that if I m not authentic to myself I can’t sleep I m anxious
Gabor mate
My scientific address has to do with my trauma
I woke up fairly late in life
The message I got as a child was that the world didn’t want me so what do you do
You make yourself be needed you go to medical school
That was an addiction
Asthma
⁃ suppressed rage so that lungs are
⁃ steroid
Inflamed joint
⁃ steroid
Inflamed intestine
⁃ steroid
⁃ Stress hormones: cortisol
Illness is when part of organism works against what is designed by nature to protect you
Treatment is always to burn it destroy it
But what if we say, it’s here now: what is the teaching? What does it say of my life my relationships and especially how I treat myself?
Psychedelic
Get the conditioned mind out of the way
And look at exactly, deep into yourself
Cancer
Suppress anger
Not having to disappoint others
Check in with your body when you express yourself and do things that deprive yourself of energy
Feels good to feel
This boy just wants to be loved and accepted unconditionally
And he figures out how to be loved and accepted
If u don’t allow your fear to be there
You gonna be always working to get rid of it and you gonna keep working
Or you could say
Ok the fear is there I let it be there
There’s a shift
Compassion and enquirer
Truth is inside us we just have to ask the right qns
Shame of negative emotions and that you cannot be weak
We don’t respond to what happens
We respond to our perception of what happened
It’s with our minds we create world
And we always choose the worst ones
Brain jumps to automatically
It goes back to childhood -First time we are hurt
Trauma – we don’t respond to the present
We respond to the past
So who’s the one who doesn’t care and respect ourselves ? It’s me
Thats the beauty of healing
the learning when we reframe things n see source within ourselves that’s liberating
If u r feeling this way or that because someone did smtg then u r a victim
But if you see the source
You r the source now you r powerful
Under traumatized persona There’s a healthy individual who has never find expression in his life
If he sees that he is trauma informed
It is not about healing trauma or getting rid of what happened but helping the person expand so there’s space
When we are compassion with ourselves it changes ourselves our community and society
Everybody as a true genuine authentic self can never be destroyed
Spiritual work for us both
Healing and still healing in a relationship
Inspiring how he’s changed
We got older
We got freeier and better and better
Dynamic emergent process of confrontation with truth
Trauma involves lifelong pushing down a tremendous expenditure of energy to not feel pain
As we heal that same energy is liberated for life for being in the present
Energy of trauma can be transformed into energy of life
I find these words from the makers of this film so beautiful:
May this little wave that stirred so many ripples through our shared ocean of awareness give us strength to continue on this journey of learning, investigating, and healing trauma in our bodies, in our social structures and in our tender world. May we continue healing, lest we pass it on to the next generations and to mother Earth.
With this film, we hope to make a small step towards creating a more supportive culture where our challenges don’t need to live in the dark, where vulnerability is seen as healthy and encouraged, where physical and mental health are treated equally, because they are one.
We hold the vision of a world that breaks free of the cycles of trauma and becomes more open and inclusive. It all starts with us, truly. It starts when we allow our wounds to teach us about listening, self-love and compassion and to remind us of the preciousness of life. Then truth opens our hearts and our innate wisdom begins to shine through our wounds.
Healing happens in connection, it happens in community.
As It Is
Sometimes the best thing is : do nothing
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