Tag: Wisdom

Peeling Off The Layers

Peeling Off The Layers

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W came over to the east and we did grounding by soaking our feet in the waters and letting the waves splash at us.

She wanted to collect some seashells and she did. Then we just sat down for a chat.

I asked her what was the root cause of the keloids and she asked me back how I feel about them.

Amazingly the day before, I went into Lululemon and while trying on a pair of shorts, I saw my keloids squarely and I saw them as a protector or shield for my genitals. Or the most private of me, or the essence of who I was.

I told W that. I said that the keloids came about somewhere at the point Dad left the family. And he had to run away to hide. And we had to hide too.

The keloids were like a shield of protection. For me, at that point in time, in a time of my NEED. And seeing this made me thank the keloids.

I was able to say I love you and thank you, please forgive me for all the mismanagement and I m sorry it took me so long to see this.

And seeing this opened things up a little for me. I was able to say thank you to the keloids for this act of protection, to my body and my cells, for doing all they can to provide me with this emotional support when I NEEDED it.

And I was able to comfort myself and remind myself, “But TPY, you are no longer that helpless alone little girl now in need of any help. In fact you are so supported by your family and friends, essential oils and the divine always. You are no longer that little girl now.”

And I sort of gave that little girl in me a hug and love.

“In fact you have amassed so much on your own, built up so much on your own. You are not helpless you are in fact bigger than you think and know. And you do not need that shield of protection now, you can stand on your own, with your support firmly with you, in your own right in your own light, in your own power.”

I also asked W about the cyst, and I told her that came about shortly after Qinzhi had seizures. There was a lot of fear, a lot of anger and frustration at my husband whom I felt hurt Qinzhi and hurt me. Us. And W suggested talking to my husband, imagining him infront of me and me releasing all I want to say, instead of keeping it down. I did that at bedtime and was really exhausted. I fell asleep halfway.

But I sort of felt that in sleep some more work was done, communication and such. And I kind of saw another feeling of hiding in my half awake half asleep waking hours

There’s like a little girl who is fearful of taking on the big adult world and really afraid of life because dad the protector is not around and soon after dad came back to us , mom passed away. A little girl looking up at a big big world.

The thing I really wanted to do then was to get away from it all; but in reality I had to show up for my family at that time even though I was so afraid and helpless. I couldn’t see light I couldn’t see that I have tools and support around me that much. Even though there was, I wouldn’t feel it confidently.

And there’s the guilt and shame my father carried in him towards others and towards us. Although I did not know exactly what happened the gravity of the emotions was so much it rubbed off me. I carried his negativity and I thought I had to continue living in fear, in guilt and in shame for what his choice of actions. It was as if living this way was redemption.

I guessed I carried those apart from my own questions and unhappiness of – why if I didn’t do anything wrong I have to hide?! I was frustrated and angry.

There’s so much layers! Sometimes you think it’s healed but it’s not yet! So I was really itching at the keloids to get out and get away! The essence of me really want to get away from it all, to escape and run away.

But today when I wake up
The itch patch at my back has gone down quite a bit 😊

And I think it’s such a miracle !!!!

The Power of Visualization for Awakening: The Heart of Tantra with Mingyur Rinpoche

The Power of Visualization for Awakening: The Heart of Tantra with Mingyur Rinpoche

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Buddha gave 3 wheel of teaching

1)Based on four noble truths

Suffering yo be recognized

See cause of suffering

Way out of suffering

The path

2)loving kindness compassion and buddhicitta

Intention

Practice – wisdom and method

5 methods: 5 paramitas: generosity discipline patience effort meditation

3)buddha nature : enlightened goodness inherent in us: all of us are perfect

The original purity

Dharmakhaya

Pristine awareness

Clarity

Luminosity

All of us has great quality has awareness love compassion powers

We need to recognize and discover

If we have ten qualities

We always see or exaggerate the one negative qualities even if we have nine good qualities

How to experience and recognize our innate quality our pure awareness

Buddha: You all are Buddha and have enlightened nature. How to recognize this?

It is as if you have a house and the land, beneath house is a treasure. But you don’t know. You struggle to live your life.

But actually you are a v rich person

One day you met a treasure hunter and recognize that you are a rich person.

You might be surprised because you struggled to survive. All this while.

Treasure hunter says you have treasure under your house and discover with you the treasure underneath

And exchanged some for luxury

Who is richer

The person who don’t recognize he has treasure

The person who recognized he has Treaure and exchanged some for luxury house

Both same rich

Problem is he don’t recognize he has treasure

We all have treasure within ourselves

Basic innate goodness wisdom skills potential —- your true nature is Buddha but you don’t recognize or not yet discover this enlightened quality within ourselves

As we recognize more, we become more free

We create our suffering and reality based on our ignorance and the reality becomes solid and we trap ourselves with our kind speech etc

Samsara is nirvana

Suffering doesn’t exist

We are perfect

But in the reality of suffering we create we can’t go beyond time impure body speech mind environment or obscurations

How to discover our treasure our Buddha nature within ourselves

In vajrayana tradition there are three ways to discover the enlightened nature within ourselves

⁃ developmental stage : we use imagination as path. With imagination which is v powerful form shape colour ie working with body

⁃ Completion stage with concept : working with subtle body working with speech the essence is breath or energy which exist thru body. Nerves nadi or channels : things loving inside nadi is cells or essence of energy bindu. Rhythm of moving and change is prana

⁃ Path of liberation: completion without concept : 5 levels in Tergar : working directly with mind and awareness with thinking feeling habitual and essence (or true nature of ) mind

Focus on developmental stage

Using imagination

Whatever we do in our life we have to use imagination

There’s some kind of image speech sensation belief in imagination

These four constitute imagination

Olympic athletes use imagination in training

Grow muscles by imagination- imagination running

Some pple can’t raise hand, imagine can raise hand and really can raise hand

Imagination can come true and become reality! Power of imagination!!!

In developmental stage, use imagination as path

Use enlightened qualities with imagination

We all are Buddha have immeasurable wisdom skills potential compassion all with you but none of them are manifesting with the way we look and manage our problems

All problems or obscurations are temporary so don’t worry!!!!!

Maybe you don’t have wisdom skills potential compassion now but you can IMAGINE! And become Buddha like!!! What Buddha see do feel!

Look at all beings with the eyes of a Buddha , with wisdom beyond concept

Imagine white Tara – wisdom

Fake it till you make it

Use concept to go beyond concept

Actually not totally faking because at essence level you are Buddha

In practice imagine you are Tara and share the light to heal and purify all beings

When you imagine deity, it’s like moon reflection in lake is empty form

Ie emptiness but emptiness doesn’t mean nothing

Emptiness is fullness or potential

You get refuge

Real refuge is connecting with the Buddha within ourselves

Taking fruition as path ie just thinking that I m enlightened

Awareness: because without this you can’t concentrate on the deity and his qualities

Pent Up Anger (II)

Pent Up Anger (II)

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I was trying to figure out what was making me feel out of balance this last few weeks.

I knew something was off.

And bit by bit day by day as I took time with my feelings I began to unravel a bit more.

The closest understanding I got to was that I was triggered and my body bounced back to a certain past.

There were lots of triggers in the last 2 months. Before and during the Swiss trip and after I came back.

And everything worked together and culminated into the feelings of blockage of stagnation of difficulty

And I did clear away quite a bit of emotions each time it was difficult

Today I understood where my body spun back to

With HuaiHao getting COVID and bf abiding with his usual behavior of not lifting a finger to help and keeping with his practice of being away, I went back to all the past times when HuaiHao was not well and I was alone. Having to shoulder it all.

It was difficult because it was an accumulated pile of those emotions of anger frustration even hatred

Most of all it is being alone and having to shoulder it all

It brought me back to all of the times when I had to shoulder it all by myself

It brought me back to all of the times that I knew my mother was shouldering it all

I could not see how love of the other party – of someone who claims love you- of someone you love – can bring this immense intense loneliness helplessness frustration anger and hatred of having to shoulder it alone

Left with no choice was the thing. My mom was left with no choice and I now do not too

I did not think any amount of love can do that

I simply couldn’t reconcile this with love

My body went back directly to the times I was alone fighting it all using my only might and my all.

I was panting breathless I couldn’t speak I couldn’t eat I couldn’t digest I could breathe well

It was trauma through and through

It was—— as if the sky had come down

How can this be love? I thought and couldn’t get pass this point. I stopped.

Coming to this point this understanding made me see why I had to encounter this episode

I take it that everything is happening for me and the universe wants me to see this clearly

And I now have.

It is inevitable to be experiencing this because I have not gotten past this to understand or frame my past experiences in a way that would help me

I have not healed so to speak and so events would have it that I circle back to this to know that—- now isn’t the past.

And the fact is that ——my mom and me- we took it on, all. All the responsibilities. When we have the choice to not bear it, we actually took on the choice—— not no choice—- to eke it out

Simply because our hearts would have it this way

We did not take the easy way out but did real work of ekeing it all out with what little we had using what might and strength we had

And we better be damn proud darn proud of ourselves

For we did have choice!

We had really. And we chose with our heart and conscience this way out for ourselves. For our children.

The decision would be what our hearts would feel at peace with.

And it seemed inevitable that bf would do what he did. He had to do what he did or if not I wouldn’t be able to see that I and mom had a choice.

I can only wish that he felt at peace with his choice now in the past and in the future.

And in that I release all my feelings of anger resentment frustration pain hatred I release my body from the trauma of this all and I take back all my power.

What A Find (II)

What A Find (II)

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This somehow struck me when I read it the first time.

It’s what Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche, Tsoknyi Rinpoche or in general what meditation is about. Coming back to center.

Or perhaps, what life is teaching us to do. To (be willing to) come back

And where is center? I asked. A place of non attachment peace love clarity stability balance

A place of light.

“Your body wants your attention and your presence. It doesn’t want to be forgotten by you. It wants to be included in your life and in the present with you, and it will serve you if you can remember to come back to your presence each day.

And the more you return to noticing your breath, your body, the sooner you will notice when you are leaving your center. Being present will become like breathing to you. Our power lies in our presence with our body and our soul, and much of our outer world will lead us away from that truth, distract us, entice us. And this beautiful body of yours that allows you to uniquely express and experience every day, wants to be remembered by you and included in your consciousness.

  • From Be Present Meditation

Learn more here: https://www.leeharrisenergy.com/store/gKFwsReZ

(CHANNELED QUOTE FROM LEE’S GUIDES – THE Z’s)

Fruition as Path

Fruition as Path

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Saga Dawa Duchen falls on June 14, the full moon day. On this auspicious day, Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche gave a teaching on the Essence of Development Stage of Vajrayana and oral transmission of mantras of Vajrasattva (purification), Buddha Medicine (health), Tara mantras (developing wisdom), Longevity mantras (long life) and Amitabha (pure land).

It is always a joy and a blessing to listen to Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche. My root teacher in a way.

The key points of the teaching below:

Taking fruition as path

Fruition = Enlightenment quality – we have right now right here by nature 

Three wisdom or kaya

Wisdom of recognizing ultimate truth

Wisdom of knowing relative phenomena 

Always here with us 

Three practice of vajrayana

  • path of liberation: the most profound of vajrayana
  • Completion : working with body prana bindu
  • Developmental: working with imagination visualization and concept: using concept as path

Taking course as path

Taking fruition as path

  • fruit already there
  • But obscuration present so
  • Remove all obscuration

Ie we all already Buddha but just don’t see or know it yet so remove all obscuration 

So possible to become Buddha in one lifetime 

Qns- why do we have obscuration why do we not see the truth

Answ we cannot find the answer

When we want to find something that is beginning or the end 

It’s not possible 

Because time is an illusion time is emptiness 

When this samsara comes ?

Where is the beginning

There is no beginning 

So we look at now and present

Samsara is emptiness and what we are experiencing now with kind body environment is just an illusion

There is no samsara

Emptiness and clarity 

So we are all Buddha

But we can’t see it because we have habit of perceiving the samsara

Developmental: imagination of Buddha deity 

What is imagination 

Imagination has image voice sensation based on belief

Together they form imagination 

Imagination or visualization – v powerful eg on sportsman : when they don’t move and only visualize they are running : they grow muscles 

Some people who can’t raise hand: just imagine raising hands and they can raise hands 

Is imagination to plan the future 

Imagine Fruit in hand and saliva in mouth increase

  • because when kind has fruit, nerves, prana, bindu all create saliva 
  • If we use imagination rightly for our practice on our path 

Practice imagination with 5 Buddha 

Vajrasattva 

Medicine Buddha

Tara

White Tara 

Amitabha 

Image or Buddha is like a reflection of moon in water, like in a rainbow in sky or a pizza in dream- beyond time and space

Practice:

Take refuge and bodhicitta 

Buddha in front of you

Pray to Buddha 

Chant mantra

Light from Buddha heart goes into you and all beings

Buddha dissolve into light and enters you and all beings

Advantages of above practice 

When you imagine, you need mindfulness and awareness and concentration 

  • so actually we are doing samadhi meditation with Buddha image 
  • Become emptiness or vipassana practice when you see image dream like or moon reflection in water it’s like not real but so real so appear as Buddha but like emptiness 
  • Become refuge: you are praying to Buddha : refuge practice comes automatically 
  • Become bodhicitta: imagine the light that comes to you touch all beings and they become Buddha 
  • Taking fruition as path: prana bindu nadi changing helps us discover Buddha in us

Dedication 

Purify obstacles and fully recognize Buddha within and all beings

Missed the bus, but hey

Missed the bus, but hey

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I did all I can at my best, prepared all the brews, breakfast and lunch for HuaiHao , did raindrop for him and headed out for my reiki 2 class.

Before I decided, the tired feeling came on.

Now that I journal, I just know—— it is not mine. But the husband is going thru his cycle. Unconscious to it .

All along when HuaiHao is not feeling well, he would stay clear and not be responsive. He would side step and I would handle.

This time too. But today as I was deliberating if I should stay at home or head for class, I decided the latter.

The hub has gone back to bed- a sign that he is switching off and going back into his old mode.

So I would make room, consciously for him to go through the process. What is different is that, as opposed to telling him what to do, letting him know what I prepared, instructing him as to how he should act ie to take responsible, I left after letting HuaiHao know what he can expect from what I have prepared.

I will leave my expectations somewhere there, with room for them to play it out. Rather, for the daddy to be guided by the son. Or rather, for the divine to set things in order.

For all that I need to know, will be revealed to me in divine order. And all that I need, is taken care of by the universe.

I see them breakthrough. And it will be different from the past.

And so it is.

I popped down and saw the drizzle and went back upwards to get an umbrella. When I went down the drizzle was somewhat gone. I feel light and reiki love outwards.

Then I saw the bus I was aiming for pass me by.

I shouldn’t have went back up for the umbrella! I thought.

But as I was nearing the bus stop, I saw the outline of another bus, and that is the bus for me. Less crowded. And I got the space and the feeling to journal this down.

Sometimes, missing a bus might not be that bad because a better one comes by.

Like what the Dalai Lama says, sometimes missing something is a blessing.

Farming by Subtraction

Farming by Subtraction

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This one is very beautiful .

“Returning to his hometown in Ehime, Masanobu began to perfect his unique, natural farming method of “no cultivation, no chemical fertilizer, and no weeding,” confronting nature through farming.”

Because we are so distanced from nature, how or what are we to add or act at will?

https://f-masanobu.jp/en/about-masanobu-fukuoka/

To taste the fruits of his farming will be magic!

We (have) moved (II)

We (have) moved (II)

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How (?) have we moved ?

Went to bed with a clear sky but rose at 0600 to the Moon and Mars on its left, in a straight line. You probably can’t see Venus but it’s to Mars’s left.

2 days ago, it was just the Moon at 0430 so Mars is on its own at 0630. The Moon would have gone further right then.
.
Just how did we move? But moved and shifted we have. However subtle. We did move.

Did the moon slow down? Has Mars caught up? However whatever, seeing this on Earth is fascinating.

The alignment is fascinating.

And, and, we never will go back (to the old). Any kind of going back is by choice by will of our doing.

Precious and blessed is us with the new in the new that is now, when you are aware and open to it. #thankyou

I Am Not in Here

I Am Not in Here

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This must be one of the most beautiful words ever said

This great being transitioned on 22 Jan 2022 at 0000 hours

I Am Not in Here
By Thich Nhat Hanh

I have a disciple in Vietnam who wants to build a stupa for my ashes when I die. He and others want to put a plaque with the words, “Here lies my beloved teacher.” I told them not to waste the temple land.

“Do not put me in a small pot and put me in there” I said. “I don’t want to continue like that. It would be better to scatter the ashes outside to help the trees to grow.”

I suggested that, if they still insist on building a stupa, they have the plaque say, “I am not in here.” But in case people don’t get it, they could add a second plaque, “I am not out there either.” If still people don’t understand, then you can write on the third and last plaque, “I may be found in your way of breathing and walking.”

This body of mine will disintegrate, but my actions will continue me. In my daily life I always practice to see my continuation all around me. We don’t need to wait until the total dissolution of this body to continue—we continue in every moment.

If you think that I am only this body, then you have not truly seen me. When you look at my friends, you see my continuation. When you see someone walking with compassion, you know he is my continuation.

I don’t see why we have to say “I will die,” because I can already see myself in you, in other people, and in future generations.

Even when the cloud is not there, it continues as snow or rain. It is impossible for a cloud to die. It can become rain or ice, but it cannot become nothing. The cloud does not need to have a soul in order to continue. There’s no beginning and no end. I will never die. There will be a dissolution of this body, but that does not mean my death.

I will continue, always.

Excerpted from Thich Nhat Hanh “At Home in the World: Stories & Essential Teachings from a Monk’s Life” (2015)