Woke up bright and early on Christmas morning and saw this
How beautiful! Put on my active wear at the fastest speed wanting to chase the sun
This morning, I tweaked the process a little just to see how it feels. Instead of breathing in and flushing light out through my vitals, I just absorbed the light into me. Somewhere at the navel, I went to the time when I was a kid, and the navel was beautiful. I saw myself drinking milk from a bottle on the floor , my right leg crossing and resting on my left knee
I went a little deeper.
How does it feel? I asked.
I felt a lot of love. It was when everything was simple, and there was no concept of many things and everything. A void in conceptual terms and everything was of feelings. Direct and not complex. I allow myself to feel that a little more and carried on my run.
Breathing in the highest light for the upgrade of my cells, my being my soul.
May this light of Christmas warm you through and through . I intend that the days ahead, filled with light———- be merry and bright!
Running today while using breaths to clean my inside presented me with something new.
When the breaths come to the heart, I saw how it differed from the last run.
When I used light to clean the heart and pictured it shiny the last time, light this morning cleaned what heart experienced.
Then the lungs the liver the stomach and intestines.
When I came to the navel, I saw crystal clear light at the belly button and a picture of a navel as a baby came up. Then me as a baby. Me just out of the birth canal, my looking at the world in wonder me crying in fear and fright, not knowing how when why what.
I gathered I absorbed fear from the surroundings and I saw how this precious crystal clear light cleaned me and the baby girl once again looked at the world in wonder and with curiosity.
Born again.
What a morning. To reinforce process and how it could have been different!
On my way back from running, while I was walking , I trained myself in the process further.
I chanted mantras. And got to understand why the process mattered.
I was also chanting yesterday and the feeling was letting my body my cells hear the chant or feel the vibrations of the mantras
But today! but today I had the feeling of chanting with all my cells and when I “got lost” or drifted, I invited my body to come back and chant together with me. It feels like I am ushering no motivating and we all have our heart on chanting. There is a certain feeling of fulfillment doing it together with my body with my cells.
And as I went on and on, and got to the keloids and cyst at the belly button, I saw that they (can) and are part of me. But I have never accepted them, much less accepted them as part of my body. I always saw them as something external and something I had to handle to resolve to remove.
I have never accepted or acknowledged them in a way
Then I saw this beautiful light shining through
And , and I can’t believe I m running. And who is the me waiting for me in the distance ?
I look back and remember I was smiling to myself at bedtime yesterday. A very awesome feeling. Smiling and smiley joyful for no reason
He always says , “ it’s not the essential oil not the product, it’s the process. It’s the process.”
I used to be perturbed . If the protocol is there, why does he still say this? But I finally got an inkling of what he means this morning as I repeated my running challenge
He can prescribe a protocol of oils to use for any condition but different people would arrive at different results
Of course the physical conditions would vary but I realise also the importance of the process
As I ran , I kept drawing in the Sun’s light and energy into my body and my being , to cleanse my insides
On another day, what came though from the skies was not intense sunlight but a soft glow. Yet another, the day began moist chilly with little light
I did this everyday and even the process is different everyday. The process of breathing in and cleansing is different everyday .
The process is different because what I breathed in is different and so many more
And so the results will be different
Today as I ran and walked and breathed, breathed in light at the pelvic keloids, I saw the baby skin beneath and I heard something else—— that the keloids have been almost a shield for me all these years as I moved through it all. I might have been hurt more or less protected had it not been for the keloids who have come on this way to shield me.
Before I was ready to face the world with myself and the experiences that I have.
Now I m ready and I heard myself thank the keloids for being here with me all this while. This is certainly yet another step after accepting them as part of me —— something I realized yesterday in my run .
And so they say, 11.11 is a very special day and opens us up to a new portal of ascension and being.
It’s rainy today but the lessons while I get walking are amazing
. Allow
Had big and little tensions in my head as I walked and I learned to walk with them. What is in them? What constitutes them? What message will they bring for me?
And as I practiced allowing , the tensions moved and soon after were gone.
I use this to practice allowing and openness this way.
. Opening Up
And to keep expanding and push open the boundaries of my heart so that anything— and everything is allowed
. No need to conclude
As feelings , pain , tensions come and go , I saw that maybe we needn’t have to make conclusions why things are so
Can we just watch observe and allow? Maybe it might help more. And this brings me back to the Tibetan schools of meditation on turning everything into a support for awareness practice or meditation.
Because when we go in and work with any thoughts, we get entangled and it take so much more to snap out.
Because even if we tried to make sense, it might be just one point of view—- our own, which has stemmed from our programs beliefs prejudices—- and so even if we tried to make sense , how accurate and how close are them to truth and reality would our decisions be? At most, they are judgments.
The way to freedom might really be to just observe without attachments.
. Be free
The birds played fly in the sky. Circling close by around me above me
Like a reminder of sorts: you can be free too!
It brings out the possibility of goodness we all yearn and want to work towards but somehow sometime gave up in life
. So Tiny
These birds are so tiny
The sky so vast. But they did not give up on flying even if so
Why – do we even think of giving up or succumbing ?
. Mind and Breath
I come to appreciate the connection between mind and breath.
So subtle yet so obvious
When the breath is regulated the mind is clear. It is when the breath is messed up, the mind follows with confusion.
Sometimes, the mind is confused , and the breath messes up. Then get into a cycle marked by imbalance.
To get things back into balance, we can either start by clearing the mind or regulating the breath.
I tried with the mind- to sort. But thinking can easily lead to overthinking and the brain heating up.
So bringing the mind to the belly May be a good starting point
And if we persevere and bring awareness to this practice, we will reap good results.
We will and we can!
Trust the self !
. A word on soul contracts
“Thus before incarnation, you met with those souls with whom you had negative patterns to clear, and they all agreed to meet with you at certain times during your incarnation and thus be with you, and mostly would come in the role of challenger and also supporter – whatever role is most necessary at the time, for you own highest soul growth and good. For indeed the soul remains pure, as the Divine Created it – it is only during incarnations on earth, that the soul adopts certain actor’s roles and thus plays this out, and thus the persona attached to it. Yet, the persona and the roles which are being played out, are not the purest truth of the soul. Unless the soul wakes up completely and then authentically starts living the highest soul truth. Remember, that even the agreement to meet with you, to dissolve such negative patterns created in other lifetimes, indeed are acts of pure, unconditional love. They would not have taken on the roles if it was not out of purity of the soul’s intent and indeed unconditional love. ” Copyright Applies: excerpt from a Soul Reading done by me.Judith Kusel
Did a simple meditation last night before bedtime and it was good
It was my way of connecting with myself and usually amazing things come out of it
I have never thought about Sunrise as a gift and how Receiving it brings immense intense joy.
Such as a voice that went: you are only your father’s daughter in this lifetime. Is there even any need to be/continue to feel ashamed?
Hahaha
I heard myself say no
I cur away the spiritual contract I or my soul has signed with him before I entered into this existence
It felt slightly laughable and I thought myself silly. It’s been so for so many years. The ego was — no doubt at work.
I wanted to wake up and walk by myself and I did
I have never thought about Sunrise as a gift and how Receiving it brings immense intense joy.
But today.
I almost felt like myself shaken so very moved and on the brink of tears.
Why?
Maybe because of the Hope and the opportunity the Sun brings or this thing about starting out anew afresh.
I guess deep down we all want to so very badly
But we think we can’t or there’s no other way to re-start
But sunrise makes us feel the zest the gusto once more
Daring us to dream and to work for ourselves once more
Don’t give up. Never give up.
In today’s sunrise, there is pursuit.
We are all chasing after something with the sun
Saw birds flying and swooshing around in the sky
Harbingers of freedom they are
I want to be free
At some point of walking, I felt like
I wanted to walk with the pain
I recalled conversations with J with SH and my very own
There were some inklings of flashbacks of the past in I-don’t-know-when
All of the anguish hatred painful suffering that I have consciously or unconsciously been made aware of or felt ever since my soul came into being or ever since there was time
My intention is to walk with them to liberate them and in so doing honoring them
And then they can no longer affect me
I can be free
I tried to breathe into my keloid the cyst in my belly the strain in my neck
Breathing in oxygen sun and cocreating the effect of healing with nature
Which brings me back to my conversation with HuaiHao yesterday night
I told him that I want to sleep every night on a clean slate and he says yes
“And there’s no storm hiding the clouds” , he added.
As I walked by myself —-with myself, the sea breeze said hello, the sun did too and the birds.
I cannot help but feel proud of myself
For achieving all I have. For letting go of what I have
So I could come to this path
Walking step by step with awareness
I thought of my early experiences, distant experiences and recent experiences. There were sounds, images, emotions coming up.
And I allowed them and liberated them with walking
I remembered the Vietnamese monk Thich Nhat Hanh . I remember a meditation he conducted and brought us to the point of inviting our ancestors our tribe to breathe with us w
And I, I just had to invite my ancestors my tribe my family my friends my colleagues and even people who have crossed paths with me in however minute moments whether happy or less happy ones—— to walk with me and to experience the present . And in that healing everything else that is not the present
I checked in with myself and felt lighter afterwards
The point is in awareness
And the intention the power and ability to heal is always there in each and every moment
So long as we will!
I had to say thank you to my husband, because amidst it all, he was the one to encourage me to pick and to do things I really enjoy
I thanked him for his support and the opportunity has given me , by supporting the family —- so I could walk at this time and to do the things that resonated with me
And walking is such a precious experience
I thank myself for the opportunity too, and to the universe and my guardian angels and dharma protectors who have always been with me around me
I want to become a better version of myself and I know I already have and is really for my next professional triumph
And that has come with honoring and acknowledging the experiences I have had with the people who have come my way
To walk each and every step with mindfulness , have the opportunity to free experiences and to experience freedom with no worries—- yes I have been tying myself to worry and fear for the longest time —- and walking with myself helped me see that freedom I could have without these all. Too precious!!!
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