Tag: transformation

Abundance and Family

Abundance and Family

by yellownblac ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

I learned of late that how much wealth, health, and abundance one experiences, rests largely on the kind of connection we have with our parents.

And that abundance is a birthright. In all teachings, wealth and family has a deep rooted connection with our parents. I was told to take the opportunity to bond with my parents and family this festive season.

And I did.

Our annual prayer before Chinese New Year today. I looked up at my mother, grandparents , uncle and auntie. And instead of the normal prayer, where we typically ask to be blessed or wishing them well…. I looked up and oh wow, how much time has gone by? I was actually oblivious to the time gone by. I had been numb when I attended these prayer sessions.

But today, but today—— I took a moment to know that these people who loved me has gone for a long time.

And for once today! Today I saw this fact and accepted this fact.

And it in turned brought me a huge relief. Like something let go of.

I actually felt gratitude on my heart.

Because of them, their love their connections, there is me. I m here. I m me. I thank them and I know I will be always loved and supported in my endeavors.

And I love this feeling.

And for once, we are going to have uncle 8 and his son over for dinner on New Year’s Eve. It’s a rare opportunity and all three of us siblings were fussing over what to add for dinner.

Everyone of us chipped in ideas and effort and then Mei announced dessert is taken care of. Boy added on prawns and took care of fruits. The universe is with us when it’s we and not I. We are not limited when it’s we. There is an expansion and a huge field of opportunities.

Walking on my own this afternoon to collect pineapple tarts, I felt my cells imbued with inexplicable support and energy . Like you are tanked up. It’s a great feeling. Like nothing is impossible and the possibility of all and everything is available to me so long as I will.

And after collecting the vegan pineapple tarts, I actually smiled and felt happy.

I am so happy I wanted to take my mask off to let everyone see my joy. And there need no reason for this joy and happiness.

It’s been so long. And I know because I felt this before !

Thank you divine! Thank you!

We (have) moved (II)

We (have) moved (II)

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How (?) have we moved ?

Went to bed with a clear sky but rose at 0600 to the Moon and Mars on its left, in a straight line. You probably can’t see Venus but it’s to Mars’s left.

2 days ago, it was just the Moon at 0430 so Mars is on its own at 0630. The Moon would have gone further right then.
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Just how did we move? But moved and shifted we have. However subtle. We did move.

Did the moon slow down? Has Mars caught up? However whatever, seeing this on Earth is fascinating.

The alignment is fascinating.

And, and, we never will go back (to the old). Any kind of going back is by choice by will of our doing.

Precious and blessed is us with the new in the new that is now, when you are aware and open to it. #thankyou

We (have) moved

We (have) moved

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I went to bed seeing a clear sky and an occasional plane heading towards Changi.

I woke up in the middle of the night and saw the moon to my left. That was at 430am

What joy! Immense joy at that!

I went back to bed telling my husband about it. How magical is that?

There’s movement in (seemingly) stillness

And we have moved so much so far along. Why are we still carrying whatever baggage on us?

Drop it already. Whatever —— has passed us by! Drop it drop it drop it!!

We are already in the new. The now.

At 630am when we rose, the moon went further right till I had to bend to see it. But in its place when I saw it at 430am, Mars the red planet was there.

I told huaihao about it and showed him the celestial objects using the app. And he could tell me more. Like Jupiter being super gaseous and has 3 moons and experiences super typhoons. Surprised why he knows and remembers, he says he reads and shows me the book.

So in love with this morning!

So much wisdom in nature! Thank you, give me more 😊

Thank You and Goodbye 2021

Thank You and Goodbye 2021

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My new year wish for 2021 came true.

“In the brand new 2021 ahead, let us mindfully breathe and experience the power of the breath. May we connect at a deeper level with our body and soul. Through this, (re)discover our innate intuitive abilities, our dreams and the richness of our experiences. May we always find beauty, hope, warmth and peace. May we be gifted with open mindedness, possibilities, inspiration, goodness. May we use each and every opportunity to speak our truth and chart new territories with grace and wisdom. Everywhere, let there be magical, healing experiences of light. I know that we will be always be guided, protected, and blessed. We’ll shine like never before. Happy 2021.”

Right till the end

Honestly I didn’t know if I have feelings of thankfulness for 2021. What I discovered of late seemed to erase whatever gratitude I might have in me.

I slipped into a low. It was as if a part of me fell asleep.

I struggled out of bed on the wee hours of the last day of 2021 to capture my thoughts

I wanted to . I felt it was the only way for me to get a handle over myself after my discovery

I subscribe to the logic that we manifest and choose things in this life.

Did I really choose this surprise discovery? What and how in the process —- made me manifest this?

I want to find out.

I asked god and the divine – what is it that you want me to know? Is it the feeling of deceit and betrayal? Maybe, so as to know the full spectrum of emotions ?

I felt like after so much effort, my attempts to steer myself away from my parents experiences have been futile

In the end, I came to experience deceit and betrayal and dishonesty like my mother have. She chose to give up on despair

Now the turn is for me to make my choice – and I m sure I deserve nothing less. So why should I crinkle and buckle under this?

And I should not give all my pursuits away because of this. This discovery shouldn’t have the privilege of robbing me or erasing anything else that I have been putting or planning out. No. I shall not be stopped

And is it about forgiveness I have to learn ? I came to realise and uncover that I have been angry at myself for submitting again and again

For not heeding my gut and internal feelings and to keep dishing out chances

Beyond forgiveness for another, the lesson seems to be forgiveness of self

I recount what I learned awhile ago

Affirmative statements of forgiving others and the self who have consciously or unconsciously intended and afflicted harm onto myself and others

I thought about this dajiujiu sent

Please look at the speech that was read two days ago by the Pope.
Regardless of religion, see how Pope Francis has beautifully written about the family.

FAMILY, PLACE OF FORGIVENESS …

©️ There is no perfect family.
©️ We do not have perfect parents,

  • you are not perfect yourself.
    We do not marry a perfect person or we do not have perfect children.

©️ We have complaints from each other. We can not live together without offending one another.

©️ We are constantly disappointed. Yes for so many reasons at different times we are disappointed with one another.

©️ There is no healthy marriage or healthy family without the exercise of forgiveness. Forgiveness is the medicine of family joy and happiness

©️ Forgiveness is vital to our emotional health and spiritual survival. No matter the offence or who is the offender, without forgiveness, the family becomes an arena of conflict and a fortress of evil.

©️ Without forgiveness, the family becomes sick and unhealthy.

©️ Forgiveness is the asepsis of the soul, the purification of the spirit and the liberation of the heart. No sin is too big to be forgiven.
He who does not forgive does not have peace in his soul and cannot have communion with God.

©️ Unforgiving is evil and a poison that intoxicates & kills the one who refuses to forgive.

©️ Keeping heartache of unforgiving in your heart is a self-destructive gesture. It’s autophagy.

©️ Those who do not forgive are physically, emotionally and spiritually ill. And they will suffer in two ways.

For this reason, the family must be a place of life and not a place of death; a place of forgiveness, a place of paradise and not a place of hell; a healing territory and not a disease; an internship of forgiveness and not guilt.
Forgiveness brings joy where sorrow has brought sadness; of
Healing where sorrow has caused disease.

A family is a place of support and not of gossip and slander of one another. It must be a place of welcome not a place of rejection. Shame to those who plant evil about others. We are family and not enemies.

When anyone is going through a challenge all they need is support.

¤ By Pope Francisco

And this, this uneventful discovery——seemed like a trial for me to show me what 2022 will be made of

I faltered slightly when I first knew of this uneventful discovery. But I stood my ground and found my footing . And I know I have passed the test

Wow 2021. What a twist at the end and what a surprise you have handed me now. And I know this too shall pass and I will ride through this unscathed

I thought about emptiness — that I could use this as an opportunity to practise and for mediation of emptiness and impermanence. To take it as if I am watching a movie perhaps.

I tried to associate myself with these thoughts to anchor my mind

The fact is this disturbance this shakeup makes me want to search deeper for a place of calm and balance . Where is it ?

But it is a fact that this discovery has taken a toil on me . Much as I felt so tired and so torn, I want to continue on my path

That was my intention and it was what made me go for my second jab. I want to call back my life and the things I love even with Covid

I m ready

I thought of my reiki teacher Stephan . And he WhatsApp me this: “Dear Pin Yen, indeed I was thinking of you yesterday. Move from your mind to your heart, your gut, feel your feet in the earth. Trust in your steps, but be tactfull. Does that mean anything to you?”

I can’t help but laugh at the point of being tactful

And to which I replied : “ Very much so teacher dearest! 2021 gave me a shock at its tail where I discovered that there had not been complete honesty . And I uncovered how much anger I have for myself too. I learned a lot these few days. And I asked myself – in fact I m curious how I manifested these all. I want to know.

Just- What did the source want me to learn in this twist it delivered to me?

Forgiveness? The spectrum of emotions ? Getting closer to my heart?

Recognizing my self and my precious TPY who deserves nothing less but the very best

And indeed I went to place my feet in seawater to feel the earth

I just went for a sound bath and slept like a baby

The therapist sprayed some mist which is intended for one to feel self love. I smelled the sweet scent of it

And I was happy with myself for doing the best I could for myself and my family

And still will, not give up love. I thank you!!!”

I thought about the December energy update by Lee Harris and he said something like arising fire energy, a deep remembering of our ancient energy, breaks and sharp cutting ties and gifts of magic and the heart. I just didn’t think it would be so abrupt

This turn. But as with life, nothing falls short of surprises.

He suggests we try and capture ourselves with 2 questions

What are you grateful for in 2021?

I am grateful for the healing inspirational energy giving sunlight

I am grateful for the breath I breathe the life I have

I am grateful for all the healing I have experienced

I am grateful for Dr Loo who has written letters to help me children not vaccinate

I am grateful for all the nice people who have popped into my life and given me a hand

I am grateful to walk and run and to have the opportunity to pick up running

I am grateful to be in touch with teachings from all the spiritual masters and teachers

I am grateful to myself and my body

I am grateful for huaihao and QinZhi and my support system made up by my nanny and my family who loved me unconditionally

I am grateful that QinZhi and huaihao got into the schools just below our flat

I am grateful for my wisdom my beautiful mind and heart

I am grateful for myself

I am grateful for this discovery which freed up the real me the life force in me

I am grateful for my father and I am grateful I have the sanity to build a new relationship with him

I am grateful for knowing and recognizing that I don’t want to be stopped by my husband anymore

Or for that matter by any thing of the past any person any ——thing

I am grateful for meeting my inner child and for all the big and little realizations or messages the divine sent me

What are you calling forth in 2022

I call for a new relationship with myself! With TPY.

I am calling in open mindedness and love and compassion like never before

I call in more and more, these beautiful pockets of quiet stillness inspiration

I call in my connection to the divine to my masters my angels

I am calling in my truth as I always have been and is gifted to my soul many lifetimes and in this life to be with me

I am calling forth consciousness and awareness

I am calling in my ability to manifest my wonderful future and the days and moments all inI

I am calling forth the most inspiring and beautiful traveling experiences

I am calling in love and lots of unconditional love to be showered on me because I deserve and this is my birthright

I am calling in lots of wonderful opportunities for me to express my gifts my gratitude my love my soul

I am calling in vitality great energy great health abundance of wealth like never before

And therefore calling forth my wildest dreams

I m calling in and calling forth my intuitive abilities and capabilities , my innate potential to be expressed by the talents and gifts I have, in a way I m familiar and comfortable with, using my experiences to share outwards the light and love , warmth and hope I have received

I am calling in and calling forth all of my guardian angels, the source the creation the divine , and all the resources and support , all the inspiration and light, all the energy I need to carry out the above

I call in and call for protection blessings support love to be showered upon every cell in my body every inch of my soul at all levels of my existence

I am calling in my life force my source energy and connections .

Thank you and so it is.

In the new fairy moments ahead, I have called in and called for all these wonderful opportunities, resources and support we need to be unreservedly you, me, us.

To be mindful enough to free ourselves from any restrictive programs or mindsets.
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We miraculously discover, BE(COME) and ground in exactly who we are and what we are born for.

In doing so, celebrate and express our innate truth, gifts, talents. In doing so, share our light.

2022, you will be sparkling magic. Thank you—- in advance.

What is it that you want to illuminate?

What is it that you want to illuminate?

by yellownblac ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

Loving alcazar’s message

https://www.thestargateexperienceacademy.com/christmas-2021

How fast you change is up to you. It is so easy to allow the energy of depression to be in your life.

But where do you put your energy ? What is it you wish to illuminate? What is it you wish to emphasize? What is it you wish to bring forth in your life? Put your focus on raising your vibration. Put your focus on living and allowing —— so that the separation that manifest in the world becomes less so in your life.

Drop the judgment on others and more importantly the judgment that you may have on yourself

You are powerful creators. You can create new realities

Running (xi)

Running (xi)

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Woke up bright and early on Christmas morning and saw this

How beautiful! Put on my active wear at the fastest speed wanting to chase the sun

This morning, I tweaked the process a little just to see how it feels. Instead of breathing in and flushing light out through my vitals, I just absorbed the light into me. Somewhere at the navel, I went to the time when I was a kid, and the navel was beautiful. I saw myself drinking milk from a bottle on the floor , my right leg crossing and resting on my left knee

I went a little deeper.

How does it feel? I asked.

I felt a lot of love. It was when everything was simple, and there was no concept of many things and everything. A void in conceptual terms and everything was of feelings. Direct and not complex. I allow myself to feel that a little more and carried on my run.

Breathing in the highest light for the upgrade of my cells, my being my soul.

May this light of Christmas warm you through and through . I intend that the days ahead, filled with light———- be merry and bright!

Running (x)

Running (x)

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It’s been a while after the first sinovac jab and I m back running .

And the message that came through: what if, there’s nothing to heal?

Can we entertain this thought?

What if there are no keloids no cyst no inflammation no pus no fear no shame no guilt. How would I be running?

And I picked up speed and ran.

Like the way they ran in movies. Legs high I the air.

Then I forgot my phone password and remembered and saw this quote: live , as if you are already there.

Our First Family Camp

Our First Family Camp

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Daddy’s mentor Glenn Lim organised a family camp and we took part. Nothing is coincidence as I know it, when I arrived I intended that this 3d2n session be truly transformative and healing for us.

Guess what?

It worked exactly the way I intended.

This was us heading over.

The first night there was an ice breaker session for the 5 families, after which the kids had a session with the mentors and wrote parents letters from their heart. This was what Qinzhi and Huaihao wrote, So daddy had been angry for a few days, and “stayed in his cave”, so Qinzhi was inspired to write this. After the camp, we had a dinner and sat down to chat, she said she wrote it because she wanted her dad to know the “pain we are going through, its like I m swearing inside me, if you are upset just say, why must you just keep quiet? “

And Huaihao added, “if you want to be out, you have to tell us where you are going so that we will not worry”

We also explored the 5 love languages

Day 2 was a games day. Families went back to kampung or village times and played games like 5 stones, pick up sticks, we folded paper aeroplanes and flew them, played zero point (challenged heights held by a rubber band rope) and used our legs to kick a featherpult

The last day, Glenn set the tone by first telling us about his rebellious youth and how he, who came from a broken family realised and found himself. For his life that has gone bad, his words were that, “i did not blame my family because life is like that, its messy”

Out of prison, he healed his family relationships. And went on to take a new life exploring psychology and psychosocial behaviour. He said he was glad to be able to tell his father that he love him and made up before his father passed on.

He next showed 2 videos, one of which is this, the semi-final of the Men’s 400 metres sprint where British Olympian Derek Redmond tore his hamstring and still finished the race limping while the crowd in the stadium gave him a standing ovation. Although Great Britains Redmond was disqualified and listed as “Did Not Finish” due to the outside assistance of his father finishing the race, this very inspirational race has become a well-remembered and inspirational moment in Olympic history – !

The world over, in headlines reported how he finished the race with his father

I was totally in tears—-because his father was with him. I thought of mine.

Glenn wanted to show that the kids had their internal struggles and it was important for parents to be with them.

Next he showed a video speaking of a parent’s hidden struggles, that of a little girl whose father lied to her https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f9kqjsH–do

The girl thought the world about her father, but realised that the father lied about having enough, having money, lied about his other life of struggling with work to make ends meet to make her happy. The last sentence was “my father lied because of me”

Seeing this made me break down.

It made me think of mine, yes my father lied to me too, and in a way, it was because of me, too. And those few moments of light and clarity made me know that this camp had turned out exactly the way I intended.

Then it was the kids turn to present and read to us what they wrote, Qinzhi broke down reading the first sentence. And it made me tear too. Those few moments, I could feel that she was thankful for me and what a journey we had gone through.

Qinzhi and Huaihao made me a better person than I was before I had them. And having them in my life, these teachers—I had never thought of them as little but as my equal all along—being a parent made me a better child.

In fact, bf had wanted me to see Glenn because he felt that I had to settle and heal the parts I have yet to so that I can be truly myself.

I think the 2 commercials and his sharing delivered the divine’s message to me.

After the camp when we had dinner and spoke to the kids about these 2 commercials, Huaihao and Qinzhi said this, “the daddy is a good and bad daddy because he lied”

I explained that no parents would want to lie to their precious kids . In the commercial, the daddy as well, he didn’t want the kid to worry and to have a happy childhood, that was why he shouldered the tough life. He did it all for his child he held so dear.

And Qinzhi and Huaihao added, “but I rather he said it as it is and be honest about it,”

Because that is what a family does-to be together.

And I remember very well. I said the exact same words to Mr Ng too about dad when left us. I said to Mr Ng too, that we could have gone through it all together as a family, and he needn’t hide from us–his family.

Huaihao was me and I was Huaihao, we echoed the same thoughts. And this video was powerful to show me that my dad lied to me, because of me. That was the point of difference. For me. Because of me. And how can I still, have the heart of blame?

It was as if—the muddy cleared up in a split second and all the anguish pain suffering frustration hate anger —–was blown off.

In that sense, this camp has been doing the work for me. Truly thankful. Utmost thankful.