Tag: Transform

Mummy

Mummy

by yellownblac ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

It’s mom’s 20th death anniversary today.

We all headed to the temple to pray. Dad got the food, joss paper as always. And when all is done he said to us, “ mom’s gone for 20 years today. So fast.”

I kind of went through this without feeling my feelings

Maybe that was why I felt so uncomfortable at the temple

Breathe- I told myself

What do I feel?

Tired out. It’s so much work with mummy not around me.

I put up defenses, protective covers, I hardened up consciously and unconsciously. I went the distance and worked myself to the max challenging myself pushing boundaries

I wallowed in self pity

I put up a strong front

I did not acknowledge too many things and just got on with life as best I can

But the more I did this the deeper I fell

Earlier this year, with family constellations, I kind of saw how mummy chose her own path- because she had felt so lost so helpless. So alone.

Awhile ago, I kind of thought back on her journey and her choice

And I guess I somehow got sidestepped feeling her.

Now writing this, I know this isn’t what mummy want.

Its also not what I WANT!!! But I kind of went into it without awareness and came this far

As a mummy myself now, I sort of got my kids worried with the recent slump I have been in

Mummy worried me too- on a few occasions. But she’s always so strong for us . Until she couldn’t hold on anymore

Writing this now, I know I m not mummy, I don’t have her experiences her pain her troubles

I turn backwards now to me. To continue where I left off in my own path

I am counting my blessings as I acknowledge my path and thanking all my guardian angels who have been protecting me and guiding me all this while. Bringing me back after having for mummy’s path for a while

And I know the reason is to anchor me on my own

And although mummy has left for 20 years, somehow she’s still with me

In me

In the patterns habits standards I keep myself up to having been born to her, bred by her

What would mummy say to me?

I recall that in a healing session, her message to me was ‘ “ I m so proud of you.”

And the message now:

“Go get what you want. Stop living life for me for others but for TPY. Let the fear doubts self pity rest. You have everything you need to succeed. The universe is behind you with you”

“you are always shiny always brilliance. Mummy loves you so much.”

Thank you Mummy for this connection this message. Most of all for having me, for giving birth to me, for cherishing me more than yourself.

Love you mummy !

At bedtime, I told HuaiHao about how I felt and this little boy said, “ you do not have to not cry you know. Release it. “

I asked him how?

“Everyone has their way of releasing emotions . Let it out.”

I asked him what is his way?

“Cry”

And what is mummy’s way?

He said “ the same “

I shared that if I let it all out I would be worrying him.

And he said, “ but we all want to care for the people we love”

So cry I did and HuaiHao wiped tears away. I felt two things at one go- I felt so blessed to have him with me. At the same time, I felt how much I missed my mummy. I told him so.

He kind of didn’t really know how to react. He hugged me and put his hand on my face for a while

I asked if I caused him worry

He said , a little bit. “ I don’t want you to be sad”

So I shared that previously I kind of hid my emotions away but I become tired out and low. But now if I displayed my emotions , I worried him.

I asked him which he would prefer and he said the latter.

I thanked HuaiHao for his wonderful teaching this evening and most of all- his showing support and his presence for me.

For a while, I thought I finally — did grieve.

The next morning the first question HuaiHao asked me when he woke up was, “ so did you get over it already? You have to release the feelings otherwise they will control you”

“ so did you?”

I told him it’s like peeling off an outer heavy shell and showing the me that was underneath and I thanked him for holding space for this process.

So much love!

PROVEN Episode 3: Brain Health & Restoring Cognitive Function

PROVEN Episode 3: Brain Health & Restoring Cognitive Function

by yellownblac ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

Cognitive overload

To experience expansion of the human mind, upgrade the lens we are looking thru

Solution 5: Identifying and healing leaky gut

gut brain connection

Vagus nerve: powerful inflammation highway where bacteria and microbes in gut sends signals and tells brain what to do can dramatically change how we feel———Pedram Shojai

For every message from brain telling gut what to do, there are 9 messages coming up from the gut telling the brain what to do= intimate connection

SO : leaky gut-leaky brain

All disorders of the brain anxiety depression Parkinson’s etc they r all diseases of inflammation 

4 powerful immune system and the most powerful one is in the brain 

The immune cells in brain are gliai cells, maintain homeostasis 

When there’s too much leakiness, the gliai cells are firing everyday , the collateral damage depending on genetic vulnerabilities gives you different disease biopolar Alzheimer’s 

So, Identify inflammatory triggers at end of fork and rebuild your healthier microbiome

Buy every type of root veg in the store, alternate them

Fibre in these root vegetables feed the good bacteria in gut

Prebiotic foods-2 each day, take prebiotic supplement for

2 months to rejig system

Find 5 types of fermented vegetables, every day eat a fork full

Fermentation produces hundreds of good bacteria—————–Tom O Bryan

Sugar white flour processed junk—-> feeding a certain type of bacteria 

When you eat sugar you create sugar

When you eat the food that is best for you regularly and consistently your saliva changes 

Good bacteria in gut feast on fibre

Lots lots lots lots lots of veg —————–Ocean Robbins

Nutrients brain thrives on: fat

Olive oil fantastic for brain health—————Titus Chiu

Gut

Mucous lining: protective layer where good bacteria live 

1 cell layer 

Inflammation systemically pushing its way they lifestyles

So if lifestyles diet don’t change life keeps burdening  you just carry a burden that becomes chronic

At cellular level you r changing the way cells communicate which might change the way your genes express themselves 

Neurotrophic support: peptides or proteins that support the growth and survival of developing mature neurons—————Angie Martinez

The more stress a plant goes thru, the more stress protective molecules it makes—>source produce wisely

Solution 4: Brain Herbs and Supplements 

Rhodiola/Sea buckthorn/Choda/Nettle: Vikings take them before battles

Adaptogen

Herbal medicine to Stabilize psychological processes and homeostasis 

Ginseng in almost every culture: Ashawagandha/Maca/Rhodiola

Have energy boosting properties

Lion’s mane

Good for stress= good for cognitive= improves strength and energy —all linked————Tero Isokauppila

Bioprospecting- go back n look at herbals

Solution 3: Photobiomodulation

Low level laser therapy

Light does enter the perineum

The therapeutic window: use certain wavelengths such as infra red to get thru the skull and affecting the cells

Why does putting a small amount. Of energy into your body, whether light or electrical create an effect ?

Because all chemical reactions r all electrical reactions , electron transfers etc

But we are so stuck thinking that the body is chemical reactions 

So we do not yet think about intervening at electrical level which can have powerful effects

But when we do we think about frequency medicine ———- Sanjay Manchanda/ Lew lim, Vielight

This is again super super interesting. All ways seemingly unproven now finds basis in science and research. Coupled with understanding that we are energy we are vibrations, this helps me understand how reiki worked or why energy work or vibration therapy works

Solution 2 : Heart Math

Heart brain access

Heart based practices

There is neuro traffic between heart and brain, the heart has its own nervous system and is constantly telling the brain what to do

Brain is looking for quality of signals from heart

Look at the spaces between the heart beats

Information is transmitted in between pulses rhythms spaces

how to shift heart and heart signals to support higher functions and open up to higher perceptions and free yourself

Heart rhythm change: arrive at The Coherent state: positive states  of emotions. Inner quality management————-Deborah Rozman

WOW: isnt this at the scientific basis to meditation? or simply, awareness. Observing spaces in between the heart beats! Thats a new place I wanna see.

Cells in core nucleus of amygdala are synchronized to the heart beat

rhythmic patterns of heart is monitored by amygdala 

simple tools to self regulate n choose emotional diet

in reality a healthy resilient person : heart rate changes with each and every heartbeat

heart rate variability: the physiological phenomenon of variation in the time interval between heartbeats

to measure that have to measure time between each and every heartbeat and that varies

more of this variability when we r young decreases when we age

chief reasons variability is lower than it should be for your age is long term stress, depletes our nervous system, reflected in flexibility

there’s a strong correlation between nervous system flexibility and cognitive flexibility emotional flexibility 

chaotic pattern associated with depleting emotions

frustration impatience anxiety reflected in chaotic activity of nervous system and shows up 

Heart Math: techniques intuition to overcome challenges———–Rollin McCraty

Solution 1 : Meditation

releases gaba and serotonin

neuroplasticity: amazing ability of brain to change structure function, change how u see yourself and world

in flight in fight you activate back part of brain, recitlium, behave in animal ways, vs frontal lobe is emotional intelligence 

Self care: take the time to stop and pause, to experience vastness and expansion of mind

activate different parts of brain for memory focus concentration

focus attention, u regulate

open meditation : engaging pre frontal cortex 

emotional stress regulation

“Pause. take a step back. rest. breathe.come back”———Itai Ivtzan

Discipline: daily practice to work out

endless chatter in mind

Healing Thinking Being

Left Hand

Left Hand

by yellownblac ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

I accidentally hurt my right hand. But it brought me some new things.

Because I tried not to use my right hand, I tried to use more——my left hand. Thankfully God made a pair! And as I went about my daily activities with more engagement with my left, hanging clothes, or just pegging them to the hangar or raising the hangars to the clothes bar———allowed me to use parts of my body that I didnt use as often, or parts or cells I neglected because I always lived out of habit.

It felt like a little revival of sorts or maybe, waking up my potentials , the point was——I always had them but did not utilise them.

I felt like I was getting introduced again and discovering what I have.

And while I showered, I engaged my left hand more, using this left hand to do what I always did with my right hand.

There’s a lot of learning in there. Like when I exerted more strength or “hardened up”, I could feel it because I wasnt in my habitual mode. When in habit, its so much harder to recognise or pick out things. But when we are out of the habitual zone, whether by force or by will, we actually find out so much more. 

About ourselves and others.

And I thought about the practice of transformation or the learning I have had the privilege to receive learning from Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche , Tsoknyi Rinpoche.

Its about transforming. Turning pain or poison into beauty.

Its about working with the subtle mind and the tapping into the powers we have, and using it to change the nature of our experiences.

There’s beauty in here.

Like learning to find a way out. Learning to look for possibilities. And in that it means, a never give up spirit.

Like the mind naturally automatically finds the left hand to support.

I think I have sort of, inhabited the practice, skipped the step of telling myself to transform and worked with my mind to using my left hand.

Well done TPY.