Inspirations From A Run (XIX)

Inspirations From A Run (XIX)

My intention for today is to anchor my power in my body, being, soul

The last week has been one that is “filled with content “ whether in the area of work, family life or in my own

At work, I kind of had the opportunity to host a big chef event and connected back with partners and people whom I had worked with closely previously in my last role

Then there were new friends

There were some folks who had brushes, and out of these, the meeting brought closure, for one or two others, the closure couldn’t be had

Oh well

On the whole it was good. I think I still enjoy the food industry. Most of all, seeing combinations and creativity in the form of ingredient pairing or how food can be- speaking to chefs- these energize me

At home, bf had a close brush at work, experiencing a separation lapse and feeling out of sorts and sent to a low

I tried to help the family tried to help, but it is clear he wants to take it his way

I thought about my role as much as I was wanting to help

But it seems- everyone has his or her own journey

And the best we can do is to stand grounded in our own power

Which brings me to the next point and today’s intention

I think to help or at least help ourselves, we have to stand grounded and in harmony in our own light and power

I had a wonderful birthday celebration with my folks, lots of friends texted me. I bathed and soaked in these blessings. And I kind of felt more at ease “coming out” as opposed to previously-keeping myself in.

It feels like I have moved and shifted somewhat to be more at ease with myself and therefore others

I m thankful and grateful for the love I have , kind thoughts from people , some not even friends but whom I have met and interviewed

And their kind wishes made me once more wonder about what it is that I have done to make them remember me?

It calls to mind me. Who is me? Like this morning when I set the intention to anchor my power – what is my power? Where is it? I asked.

And I recalled what Michelle said to me in a lunch we recently had- thank you for being you. You wear authenticity on your sleeve.

Wow

Of late in a regression with Punam my ex yoga teacher, the session helped me see or celebrate divinity – not elsewhere but within me

We often think that we are beneath divinity and that divinity is separate from us

But no.

If we can feel divinity divine beings, then what are we if we are not divine ourselves?

It makes me want to explore this side of me.

And so what is the power of me in me?

I feel like the closest thing I can find to this question is this

Simpleton, dreamy, girlish, expressive, I remember my husband was asked this question by my friends on the day of our wedding

“what attracted you to this girl”

And he said something along the lines of her being pure

I think I kept myself this way all these years and I want to keep it this way whether at work or home

I want to speak my mind and act closest to what my heart says

And wherever I am I want to use my light to bring out light and goodness- whether it be in conversations or in things I do or in others

And I think – this is my power gift and what I am here for

Thank you to the divine. Thank you to the divine in me.

I am so grateful!

Inspirations From A Run (XVIII)

Inspirations From A Run (XVIII)

The intention today was to dwelve deep into my body to find out

And guess what? I did of course.

It is 10/10 today and I read about the energies prevailing at this time to help us kickstart the new and release the old

Death and rebirth

I read about writing down ten things at 10am or 10pm

Haha

I kind of ran through in my mind what I want

I am running for my new life

I am running towards my new life

I am running into my new life

I am running my new life

It’s amazing how words set things up

And get ‘it’ going

And what do I want in my new life?

I want no cyst no keloids

No itch .

My cheeks are rosy and brimming with healthfulness

Each and every cell in my body is happy healthy joyful peaceful

All is well there is harmony peace equilibrium

My gums are healthy and my teeth is strong

Everywhere I go I am loved respected and valued for being me

Everywhere I go I spark light I bring light I bring something meaningful to the people around me

I love my work and enjoy very successful career

People respect and honour me for the good work I do

I can afford anything and everything I want – for myself and my family.

And I thank the divine my body for giving me this opportunity

Somewhere down the run, I get the idea that in my new life, my body heals miraculously, instantly, beautifully, effortlessly automatically and I did not even have to think about it

I did not have to look outside at all but just go inwards in any time of need – just so because

The body takes care of me and wants me to be well!

And at that moment I thought – in fact this has already happened and really my body has been asking me in all ways than one to love myself – thought the keloids the cyst the feeling of fatigued and breathlessness

Even through all that my body loves me and did not desert me one bit

Shouting out to me in all these ways to look inwards

To start loving myself my body my cells back irregardless of what is going on

Not just wanting a o get rid of anything but rather – accept it and understand what I did to bring myself here

Somewhere in the run I get the idea that each time I scratched myself and the keloids, I am chasing trauma to the area and giving it all the attention of inflammation causing pain and hurt to myself

And at this point I understand that not just at this time, I must have caused pain and hurt to myself in the past

And really my memory just went back in a bid to find out what I did – to cause myself pain and hurt and trauma

And the pain of it was exactly the pain I felt when the keloids were swollen and inflammed

The sharp pain that pricks and sends out fear

This I am experiencing now I have felt it before

And – I asked myself: so do I still want this? Do I still want to continue experiencing this pain?

No of course not so let’s stop scratching

But more so, the inflammed keloids really want me to see what I have done to myself on the past- that was not resolved

And that begs resolution release letting go!

And I tell myself- to breathe into the past and give it space to accept it

I think this is such a powerful practice and act .

To even have the chance to do this- for myself – I am immensely thankful.

And looking at the intention I set before running, I can’t be thankful enough and I am really really really blessed.

Inspirations From A Run (XVIII)

Inspirations From A Run (XVIII)

The intention today was to dwelve deep into my body to find out

And guess what? I did of course.

It is 10/10 today and I read about the energies prevailing at this time to help us kickstart the new and release the old

Death and rebirth

I read about writing down ten things at 10am or 10pm

Haha

I kind of ran through in my mind what I want

I am running for my new life

I am running towards my new life

I am running into my new life

I am running my new life

It’s amazing how words set things up

And get ‘it’ going

And what do I want in my new life?

I want no cyst no keloids

No itch .

My cheeks are rosy and brimming with healthfulness

Each and every cell in my body is happy healthy joyful peaceful

All is well there is harmony peace equilibrium

My gums are healthy and my teeth is strong

Everywhere I go I am loved respected and valued for being me

Everywhere I go I spark light I bring light I bring something meaningful to the people around me

I love my work and enjoy very successful career

People respect and honour me for the good work I do

I can afford anything and everything I want – for myself and my family.

And I thank the divine my body for giving me this opportunity

Somewhere down the run, I get the idea that in my new life, my body heals miraculously, instantly, beautifully, effortlessly automatically and I did not even have to think about it

I did not have to look outside at all but just go inwards in any time of need – just so because

The body takes care of me and wants me to be well!

And at that moment I thought – in fact this has already happened and really my body has been asking me in all ways than one to love myself – thought the keloids the cyst the feeling of fatigued and breathlessness

Even through all that my body loves me and did not desert me one bit

Shouting out to me in all these ways to look inwards

To start loving myself my body my cells back irregardless of what is going on

Not just wanting a o get rid of anything but rather – accept it and understand what I did to bring myself here

Somewhere in the run I get the idea that each time I scratched myself and the keloids, I am chasing trauma to the area and giving it all the attention of inflammation causing pain and hurt to myself

And at this point I understand that not just at this time, I must have caused pain and hurt to myself in the past

And really my memory just went back in a bid to find out what I did – to cause myself pain and hurt and trauma

And the pain of it was exactly the pain I felt when the keloids were swollen and inflammed

The sharp pain that pricks and sends out fear

This I am experiencing now I have felt it before

And – I asked myself: so do I still want this? Do I still want to continue experiencing this pain?

No of course not so let’s stop scratching

But more so, the inflammed keloids really want me to see what I have done to myself on the past- that was not resolved

And that begs resolution release letting go!

And I tell myself- to breathe into the past and give it space to accept it

I think this is such a powerful practice and act .

To even have the chance to do this- for myself – I am immensely thankful.

And looking at the intention I set before running, I can’t be thankful enough and I am really really really blessed.

Inspirations From A Run (II)

Inspirations From A Run (II)

It’s amazing how being in nature can be. It’s not just healing but feeling part of something bigger

(I) divinity

I was trying to contemplate again on the divine. A while ago, I remember I asked myself if I believed there is god or divine? And not just knowing but feeling god or the divine?

In the run this idea came again. The idea that if this intelligence is the very one that is making birds chirp and giving them their spectacular colours of green blue yellow, it must be the same one to make me sing with joy.

(II) In place

In the run I saw a little worm suspended in mid air held by such a fine almost next to nothing thread of a web.

If this isn’t divine what is?

And in that place it is in place. Even there hung in mid air.

And even now where I am, I am in place.

(III) no reason

The idea that there is no reason for me not to be happy popped into my head. The same goes for contentment, satisfaction.

With what I have where I am, is there any reason for me to not be content or joyful? But instead of feeling grateful I was always judging and looking at more, it was my expectations my wanting more that is creating unhappiness.

But while people are rushing for work, I am having the opportunity to be out in the sun to work for my physical and mental body, to hear these thoughts and to check myself.

Is there any reason I shouldn’t be happy ?

Ah Siong Hia (I)

Ah Siong Hia (I)

I woke up to a beautiful morning.

The sun is about to pop up on the horizon and the sky is a million colours all at once so soft so graceful so beautiful

Like an affirmation that Ah Siong Hia is at peace and all is good.

Still I felt not knowing how to make sense of this all. Is it important to make sense in r is it important to honor these feelings?

While I accustomed to finding out, I am once again reminded now- as I write that honoring the feelings are important. It’s being in the moment and acknowledging them – not bypassing them. And, we do not need to know everything so we?

On the bus, I asked my husband how to make sense?

And he says, “ that’s because you did not accept it. I see death as part of a cycle of life. If you can be happy when a baby is born, why can’t you be happy now? It is because I accept it as part of life part of the cycle.”

I asked him so what is life for?

And he tried to explain it to me- like how people reduce it to living meaningfully with a purpose but punctuated it with, “ this question you have to ask god”

And I asked him if he don’t know, how to live life well?

In the midst of it on the bus as we spoke, the sun was shining in and I asked it for light love strength and energy .

I want to use this opportunity to get pass what I did not manage to . Instead of falling back on tears emotions and feeling sorry, am I capable of feeling something else?

Can I find something meaningful or beautiful to celebrate even in this occasion or event?

And suddenly- just suddenly, it appeared to me that this is a graduation ceremony of sorts.

Ah Siong Hia has graduated from the school of life. Devoting and committing to it as best he can, learning all he need, seeing all and being with all he has come to life for. And he made the courageous decision to leave when the time has come for him to, out of love for the people he loved.

In the way he lived – like a doting brother .

Thank you Ah Siong Hia. For all you have done for us , for loving me like your own sister. I have come to celebrate your life. Rest in peace.

And What Is It About YOU That YOU Do Not Like

And What Is It About YOU That YOU Do Not Like

Have you ever wondered? If you like yourself enough/ at all?

Bedtime with HuaiHao . And I told him about my meeting with teacher Stephan.

I told him it made me happy today to catch an old friend , teacher, guide and to have a meaningful conversation

I told him Teacher pointed out to me how powerful my mind is and that everything that I need is with me.

And he always believed in me in my power in my capabilities ——- more than I do. He said I had the gift of expression and I could express myself really clearly. His words were “you could pronounce them clearly”.

He reminded me of the importance of feeling and to just be just allow. To surrender and to trust.

He suggested that I recognize and accept my story and more importantly integrate it into my life. There’s no good no bad no need for judgement. Just me. He asked ‘what do you plan to do with them’ with these experiences? He said there’s so much I could give to the world and he is certain the time will come.

Did you ever think that you could do something with your experiences?

I told HuaiHao all this. And that teacher appreciated me for who I am.

And I told HuaiHao it felt good because he made me see that I have been too harsh with myself.

To which HuaiHao said, “ you have too high expectations “

We agreed we should cherish ourselves more and HuaiHao asked, “ maybe you don’t like yourself?”

What was amazing was that in the afternoon when I met teacher , he put that question to me too. He asked, “ what is it about pin yen that you do not like?”

I like that question. He got me thinking . Do I like myself? Did I subconsciously not like myself? What about ?

When HuaiHao asked me Thye same question I asked him back why he thinks I do not like myself. And the little wise one said, “ because you like qin cai qin cai ( meaning : careless about yourself)”

Like when I served them dinner and I would plate it nicely for them but for myself I would make do.

I always did. I always put myself last and my family infront.

And it was apparent to the little one that I did not take care of myself . To think he saw

I thought back again if I did not like myself in some ways

And yes- the times I liked myself were too little. Lesser than the parts I did not like. I was wanting perfection. I did not like parts of me that were not perfect not beautiful. I always wanted to “heal” them dissolve them. Like where the keloids are and these were kind of connected to painful times – maybe I haven’t really appreciated them for what they are . And- so much time has passed.

And I don’t seem to have integrated these experiences. Would the time be now?

And Qinzhi is reminding me that I m skirting the issue — with her dizziness .

A few days ago Qinzhi had another bout of dizzy frenzy and while I was worried and landed myself in fear, I took the chance to pause that moment and tuned in. I asked Qinzhi why she didn’t want to go to school and she said she needed time to do her work, she wanted to stay at home and be with me, and she was dizzy because she felt stressed

She knew it

And while I shared with her how she could bravely face it in her stride and be open to it all, I m once again reminded that I could also apply that wisdom to myself. Instead of trying to control and manipulate, did I stay open?

Her mode was to run into dizziness and how is that different from me?

At bedtime I told HuaiHao about this and the little one said, “you have to know that this is how everyone ‘s body reacts differently. Like papa goes in to his cave, I cry. Everyone does it differently. “

I asked him if he has any suggestions for Qinzhi on how to improve and he says , breathe.

And I get it. I get that if i want to be convincing and for my words to carry strength , I have to be that. Be open

That’s where the magic is

To open up to the present.

Teacher was sharing with me how he loved going back into nature and the moment he saw a bud blossomed. When he said this, I felt myself in the woods with him, I was also observing the opening up of the bus. It was so beautiful I teared and warmed up.

In that moment my heart center opened up and that was extremely beautiful and divine. Humbling.

That feeling was a great teaching in itself. So many lessons were learned , most of all what it feels like to be open.

In that a precious connection , first to teacher and to the opening blossom. And the world around.

And what is it I can do with my experiences?

Of late it’s been- a movie. To talk about it. Perhaps one way to get on with it, get through it is to talk about it, use it in whatever way beneficial to myself and others.

I can. I know I can.

Beautiful Practice To Start A New Day

Beautiful Practice To Start A New Day

Intent Influences Outcome

At the very beginning of each day or each meditation, you tell the universe what you want.

Focus on your life, your goals and life purpose, telling your body what you want, and have a beautiful image of yourself and what kind of life you want to live. Then you can send a message to the universe.

What kind of image do you see of the world you want to live in?

What is your purpose? What do you want to accomplish?

What is your intention?

Make your purpose clear.

Submit your message in the light while meditating

Feel the essence of your message

Let go of any fears and doubts

After that, you solely focus on the moment.

Feeling how good you feel.

Feeling the tingling sensations in your hands, in your body, seeing light in your body, and focus on that!

Once you put yourself in the ‘Oneness’ you trust the energy and trust the messages you receive. Trust the intelligence within you.

Too much analytical thinking may stop your inner wisdom from surfacing

In the quietness you breathe slowly, gently, and deeply. You help yourself to wake up the intelligence in the body.

You receive these messages to help you fix the wrong information in the body.

It is a process of cleansing, so a lot of people cry and they feel peaceful at the same time; they feel lots of emotional experiences, again, just let it be and allow it to happen. It is a process of detoxifying. When you open all this old information and messages get cleared out, health is going to restore back your life.

This is why having a purpose when practicing Spring Forest Qigong is important, regardless what your purpose is; for healing or for relationship, or for higher vibration. When you have a purpose, the Qi, is automatically directed to support your purpose.

Many Blessings,
Chunyi Lin

Running / Walking (xvi)

Running / Walking (xvi)

Ron gave me the St Benedict medal. Sasha asked khenpo dorje to do a divination and the reply was that “u hv a astral flotsam attached. Not too serious but definitely disembodying. U ll be fine!💐🌺🌸💐🌺🌸”

And Sasha’s advice was

“Yes these entity-things can try to drain yr energy & shape-shift around u … so u r probably feeling what its feeling! They r like giant mosquitoes that inject their own emotions & drain yr energy. The practice is to Be Yourself as much as u can.Really they can be easily removed”

The practice is to be yourself

Well I was searching for myself – and for that matter , searching really hard of late. And this learning had to come to really drive me down to getting every wee bit of mySELF out

I used to be a really sensitive child

My nanny would say, if people wanted to share red eggs celebrating a baby’s full month of being, and they showed the eggs in my face I would cry non stop or get a fever

I recall having lots of talisman burned waters in my childhood

That day when I shared this with Helena, she said, “ maybe this is the real you but out of fear you blocked it- and blocked everything out. But maybe you could use this in a way to help yourself and others. Learn to shield yourself and take only what you need. Practice !”

She asked me,” actually what are you afraid of ?”

Now as I try make sense of it – The feeling is almost as if fear is part of me. I have grown so accustomed to it it constitutes my identity

But really – what is TPY like without fear? Who can she be?

I told Sasha I must be at a low and she agreed because “that ll be when they attach Positivity has a kind of natural buoyant energetic protection.Low thins out the energy …”

I know.

And I learned a lot about myself from this episode

The message that came through in the run was “ you asked for expanded consciousness didn’t you?”

Yes I did and this is one instance where my consciousness is expanded and can feel a bigger spectrum

But like Helena said, be conscious and learn to shield yourself from anything that affects you

Like Sasha said, “ be yourself”

As a child, I was always carrying a lot of fear, I was afraid of the dark and mysterious . I always had my imagination wild and created more fear because of that- estranging myself further from reality

Carried by fear carried in fear, I lost myself.

Totally lost it.

Ula said,” i guess you need love to you & your family..bcz i think you had lose some feel of love”

I asked for the reason of my existence and 2 days before we went to the beach in the evening

I was happied out. I haven’t felt that simple joy outwards from the heart in a long time

Seeing how the kids had fun and played with water with bf, I got my answer.

These folks in front of me are my reason. I thanked the universe for hearing me and replying back to me

And today after my run, I saw bf bathed in the sun walking towards me

He is my reason – that boy who loved me loves me knows me through and through and anchors me

And interestingly this time, with the knowing of the divination, I kind of felt quite at peace

I told myself to create a lot of space – when the space becomes really big, anything in that is dwarfed in smallness

And I drew notes from my learnings from Tibetan Buddhism practice- awareness. Just be aware

Sometimes I felt so sad and HuaiHao asked me, why are so so sad? I don’t have an explanation for him

Sasha said I could be feeling not me

And I was actually chanting a lot and dedicating the merits outwards feeling a lot of compassion for other beings and being grateful that I m in a position to chant and dedicate

I know that I did not do anything wrong and so I will be safe and protected

Most of all each time I trust the divine and protection is with me, I get goose bumps

In all of this practice, patience and openness is helpful. I recall all the Angel numbers that I kept seeing: 11:11 444 12:12 and the like , apparently it is a sign that I m travelling on the right path

Even at my level when things felt so out of place I kept seeing these

I suck out the very essence of light in me to venture forward. I trust that I can heal myself I trust and have faith in my own light

And I m most thankful I have so many supportive circles around me and most of all, I have Guru Rinpoche and all these wonderful mantras to anchor on

And, and -the sun was brilliant today. Sharing it with you.

Running/Walking (xv)

Running/Walking (xv)

Running today has been very special

It felt like there was some force or energy at my trunk or core —— driving the run

I felt very awaken. The run was kind of easy.

It made me sit up and listen to it , observe it. And whenever my mind drifted, I went back to it.

Is it the qi?

Or the soul?

My very being or beingness? What is it?

Whatever it is, it showed me something else was there for me in my life and I had all along been oblivious to its presence

That was there very driving force of my life. When I was strong and when I was weak. It’s always been there.

I finally saw it. I love you, thank you. Please- forgive me. I am sorry.

And there are actually so many things or resources that are around us , in and with us that we do not see.

What was the thing I did to see it?

I did reiki on myself yesterday before I slept and this morning when I rose.

There were lots of jerks twitches and movements that came out of the body on its own

While I had been worried seeing as the body’s release of uptightness stress, today I saw it as energy moving in and out of the body

At least there is some exchange and I know some changes are in place

There is some flow

There was also a lot of fear in my heart area

Pretty strong and intense. While I used to have so much fear over this fear and succumbed to it, this morning I looked it it gave it space acknowledging its presence

I told my self to create space for it

Keep giving light to it

Be compassionate to this feeling.

Was talking to HuaiHao yesterday and he said I looked sad. He asked me why? I said maybe I lost myself and is directionless. And I beat myself up for that.

To which he said, “ that’s sad, then don’t beat yourself up!”

If we can be less judgemental not just on ourselves but to life, noting that Everything can , be. I think life would be a bliss and a breeze

This was pretty much inspired by a post I saw yesterday on IG

Heaven earth or hell, it all came within. In the first place we allowed it because a certain part of us got curious about a certain element of it .

But we so very often lose our grip. It is so because our own negativities, insecurities, doubts, fears, regrets, pain come to play.

We lose our footing as we get embroiled in it all. And tumble. This was what happened to me.

And at this point we do need people – our best guardian friends, our angels or a greater source of energy like the creator or god or buddhas you subscribe to — for that matter they all represent light they are light- to light up the pathway for us and to give us the added support energy strength blessings protection and healing to bring us back

And it’s also the mind. The super creative at work, creating all the good the bad and everything in between.

The mind is wavering in the wind and the practice is to anchor it on light or a mantra. And I am reminded of Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche’s teachings. That everything is emptiness.

And I have to thank all buddhas and guardian angels who have been with me- all this while. For loving me.

I remember asking John why certain things work, and he says , “just know it does. It works like how nature works. So why does nature work? So go and learn about nature and your connection with it”

There’s a greater wisdom out there

That we could surrender or subscribe to. It actually does all the work

Like how it is in today’s run. How the sun rises everyday . How me and you were born.

Running/Walking (xi)

Running/Walking (xi)

I always intended before I started walking or running. To use the practice ahead to expand on my consciousness, to open my mind further . To reconnect with my body, my self——- seemingly brainless or basic things but really it’s not that easy after all.

But as always on me time, inklings always come about.

(I) Like

One day I asked TPY what does she like? And the responses came.

我喜欢被感动,然后去感动别人

我喜欢发现,喜欢新,喜欢去发掘新奇的东西

可能别人会错过的

我喜欢做别人的眼睛,帮别人去发现发掘出来美

In essence, I found out that it’s not so much writing that I liked but discovering the new and seeing how I act on it or react to it. I like to look ahead and watch out for new things and to find the connection with it

(II) Open Up Show Up

On another day, I asked myself why do I need my shield of keloids and it dawned on me that at a certain point in my life, when life rained on me, I felt like I was not able to receive or manage already and so I put up my hands to block

And block all of life I did. The keloids when dad left and mom passed on. Then when Qinzhi experienced epilepsy —— and now writing this made me understand how I put a shield on my navel with the cyst!

When I felt how life was throwing things at me and I was overwhelmed and how life isn’t working for me

I put things up as a shield

And H did send me Louise Hay’s interpretation of a cyst

“Cysts: Running the old painful movie. Nursing hurts. A false growth.
Cystic Fibrosis: A thick belief that life won’t work for you. “Poor me.”

And I took the chance to tell TPY – I do not need to shy away from life and it’s offerings anymore. I affirmed the circle of support I have and once again worked at feeling openness.

I need not hide from life- at all.

I affirm that I enjoy success prosperity vibrant great health and energy amazing fulfilling wholesome relationships

I affirm I am in the flow and always travelling in the best direction

I want to experience openness and success like never before

(III) Breathe

On another day when it rained as I was running, I was more desperate trying to anchor myself on my breath than escaping the rain. When it rained on, the voice in me grew louder : stay with the breath, stay. Move the body not the mind. Stay with the breath, feel it. And that was the gateway or link to the present. Not worries about the rain or getting rained on.

(IV) Yoga

I kind of am reconnecting back to yoga and is intrigued by the things the instructor says during the lesson

Such as- don’t do the pose let the pose do you.

Such as, let the yoga begin now

Such as, we see more when we feel more

The purpose of doing so much is to go in

As the pose gets a bit more intense, find a place to get comfortable . Adjust. Stay with the breath. Move the breath. Move the body not the mind

Find a place for the breath, where it hasn’t been before

And I see squirrels, eagles, birds and know – all is well.

If anything, find all ways to be connected with the self. And always , always come back to centering the self- or the breath.

No matter how hard it is raining. Ot what you see, hear, feel. Come back to the breath.