Did a simple meditation last night before bedtime and it was good

It was my way of connecting with myself and usually amazing things come out of it

I have never thought about Sunrise as a gift and how Receiving it brings immense intense joy.

Such as a voice that went: you are only your father’s daughter in this lifetime. Is there even any need to be/continue to feel ashamed?

Hahaha

I heard myself say no

I cur away the spiritual contract I or my soul has signed with him before I entered into this existence

It felt slightly laughable and I thought myself silly. It’s been so for so many years. The ego was — no doubt at work.

I wanted to wake up and walk by myself and I did

I have never thought about Sunrise as a gift and how Receiving it brings immense intense joy.

But today.

I almost felt like myself shaken so very moved and on the brink of tears.

Why?

Maybe because of the Hope and the opportunity the Sun brings or this thing about starting out anew afresh.

I guess deep down we all want to so very badly

But we think we can’t or there’s no other way to re-start

But sunrise makes us feel the zest the gusto once more

Daring us to dream and to work for ourselves once more

Don’t give up. Never give up.

In today’s sunrise, there is pursuit.

We are all chasing after something with the sun

Saw birds flying and swooshing around in the sky

Harbingers of freedom they are

I want to be free

At some point of walking, I felt like

I wanted to walk with the pain

I recalled conversations with J with SH and my very own

There were some inklings of flashbacks of the past in I-don’t-know-when

All of the anguish hatred painful suffering that I have consciously or unconsciously been made aware of or felt ever since my soul came into being or ever since there was time

My intention is to walk with them to liberate them and in so doing honoring them

And then they can no longer affect me

I can be free

I tried to breathe into my keloid the cyst in my belly the strain in my neck

Breathing in oxygen sun and cocreating the effect of healing with nature

Which brings me back to my conversation with HuaiHao yesterday night

I told him that I want to sleep every night on a clean slate and he says yes

“And there’s no storm hiding the clouds” , he added.

Exactly so

He says, “ I don’t like you but I love you”