Tag: running

Inspirations From A Run (XIX)

Inspirations From A Run (XIX)

by yellownblac ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

My intention for today is to anchor my power in my body, being, soul

The last week has been one that is “filled with content “ whether in the area of work, family life or in my own

At work, I kind of had the opportunity to host a big chef event and connected back with partners and people whom I had worked with closely previously in my last role

Then there were new friends

There were some folks who had brushes, and out of these, the meeting brought closure, for one or two others, the closure couldn’t be had

Oh well

On the whole it was good. I think I still enjoy the food industry. Most of all, seeing combinations and creativity in the form of ingredient pairing or how food can be- speaking to chefs- these energize me

At home, bf had a close brush at work, experiencing a separation lapse and feeling out of sorts and sent to a low

I tried to help the family tried to help, but it is clear he wants to take it his way

I thought about my role as much as I was wanting to help

But it seems- everyone has his or her own journey

And the best we can do is to stand grounded in our own power

Which brings me to the next point and today’s intention

I think to help or at least help ourselves, we have to stand grounded and in harmony in our own light and power

I had a wonderful birthday celebration with my folks, lots of friends texted me. I bathed and soaked in these blessings. And I kind of felt more at ease “coming out” as opposed to previously-keeping myself in.

It feels like I have moved and shifted somewhat to be more at ease with myself and therefore others

I m thankful and grateful for the love I have , kind thoughts from people , some not even friends but whom I have met and interviewed

And their kind wishes made me once more wonder about what it is that I have done to make them remember me?

It calls to mind me. Who is me? Like this morning when I set the intention to anchor my power – what is my power? Where is it? I asked.

And I recalled what Michelle said to me in a lunch we recently had- thank you for being you. You wear authenticity on your sleeve.

Wow

Of late in a regression with Punam my ex yoga teacher, the session helped me see or celebrate divinity – not elsewhere but within me

We often think that we are beneath divinity and that divinity is separate from us

But no.

If we can feel divinity divine beings, then what are we if we are not divine ourselves?

It makes me want to explore this side of me.

And so what is the power of me in me?

I feel like the closest thing I can find to this question is this

Simpleton, dreamy, girlish, expressive, I remember my husband was asked this question by my friends on the day of our wedding

“what attracted you to this girl”

And he said something along the lines of her being pure

I think I kept myself this way all these years and I want to keep it this way whether at work or home

I want to speak my mind and act closest to what my heart says

And wherever I am I want to use my light to bring out light and goodness- whether it be in conversations or in things I do or in others

And I think – this is my power gift and what I am here for

Thank you to the divine. Thank you to the divine in me.

I am so grateful!

Inspirations From A Run (XVIII)

Inspirations From A Run (XVIII)

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The intention today was to dwelve deep into my body to find out

And guess what? I did of course.

It is 10/10 today and I read about the energies prevailing at this time to help us kickstart the new and release the old

Death and rebirth

I read about writing down ten things at 10am or 10pm

Haha

I kind of ran through in my mind what I want

I am running for my new life

I am running towards my new life

I am running into my new life

I am running my new life

It’s amazing how words set things up

And get ‘it’ going

And what do I want in my new life?

I want no cyst no keloids

No itch .

My cheeks are rosy and brimming with healthfulness

Each and every cell in my body is happy healthy joyful peaceful

All is well there is harmony peace equilibrium

My gums are healthy and my teeth is strong

Everywhere I go I am loved respected and valued for being me

Everywhere I go I spark light I bring light I bring something meaningful to the people around me

I love my work and enjoy very successful career

People respect and honour me for the good work I do

I can afford anything and everything I want – for myself and my family.

And I thank the divine my body for giving me this opportunity

Somewhere down the run, I get the idea that in my new life, my body heals miraculously, instantly, beautifully, effortlessly automatically and I did not even have to think about it

I did not have to look outside at all but just go inwards in any time of need – just so because

The body takes care of me and wants me to be well!

And at that moment I thought – in fact this has already happened and really my body has been asking me in all ways than one to love myself – thought the keloids the cyst the feeling of fatigued and breathlessness

Even through all that my body loves me and did not desert me one bit

Shouting out to me in all these ways to look inwards

To start loving myself my body my cells back irregardless of what is going on

Not just wanting a o get rid of anything but rather – accept it and understand what I did to bring myself here

Somewhere in the run I get the idea that each time I scratched myself and the keloids, I am chasing trauma to the area and giving it all the attention of inflammation causing pain and hurt to myself

And at this point I understand that not just at this time, I must have caused pain and hurt to myself in the past

And really my memory just went back in a bid to find out what I did – to cause myself pain and hurt and trauma

And the pain of it was exactly the pain I felt when the keloids were swollen and inflammed

The sharp pain that pricks and sends out fear

This I am experiencing now I have felt it before

And – I asked myself: so do I still want this? Do I still want to continue experiencing this pain?

No of course not so let’s stop scratching

But more so, the inflammed keloids really want me to see what I have done to myself on the past- that was not resolved

And that begs resolution release letting go!

And I tell myself- to breathe into the past and give it space to accept it

I think this is such a powerful practice and act .

To even have the chance to do this- for myself – I am immensely thankful.

And looking at the intention I set before running, I can’t be thankful enough and I am really really really blessed.

Inspirations From A Run (XVIII)

Inspirations From A Run (XVIII)

by yellownblac ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

The intention today was to dwelve deep into my body to find out

And guess what? I did of course.

It is 10/10 today and I read about the energies prevailing at this time to help us kickstart the new and release the old

Death and rebirth

I read about writing down ten things at 10am or 10pm

Haha

I kind of ran through in my mind what I want

I am running for my new life

I am running towards my new life

I am running into my new life

I am running my new life

It’s amazing how words set things up

And get ‘it’ going

And what do I want in my new life?

I want no cyst no keloids

No itch .

My cheeks are rosy and brimming with healthfulness

Each and every cell in my body is happy healthy joyful peaceful

All is well there is harmony peace equilibrium

My gums are healthy and my teeth is strong

Everywhere I go I am loved respected and valued for being me

Everywhere I go I spark light I bring light I bring something meaningful to the people around me

I love my work and enjoy very successful career

People respect and honour me for the good work I do

I can afford anything and everything I want – for myself and my family.

And I thank the divine my body for giving me this opportunity

Somewhere down the run, I get the idea that in my new life, my body heals miraculously, instantly, beautifully, effortlessly automatically and I did not even have to think about it

I did not have to look outside at all but just go inwards in any time of need – just so because

The body takes care of me and wants me to be well!

And at that moment I thought – in fact this has already happened and really my body has been asking me in all ways than one to love myself – thought the keloids the cyst the feeling of fatigued and breathlessness

Even through all that my body loves me and did not desert me one bit

Shouting out to me in all these ways to look inwards

To start loving myself my body my cells back irregardless of what is going on

Not just wanting a o get rid of anything but rather – accept it and understand what I did to bring myself here

Somewhere in the run I get the idea that each time I scratched myself and the keloids, I am chasing trauma to the area and giving it all the attention of inflammation causing pain and hurt to myself

And at this point I understand that not just at this time, I must have caused pain and hurt to myself in the past

And really my memory just went back in a bid to find out what I did – to cause myself pain and hurt and trauma

And the pain of it was exactly the pain I felt when the keloids were swollen and inflammed

The sharp pain that pricks and sends out fear

This I am experiencing now I have felt it before

And – I asked myself: so do I still want this? Do I still want to continue experiencing this pain?

No of course not so let’s stop scratching

But more so, the inflammed keloids really want me to see what I have done to myself on the past- that was not resolved

And that begs resolution release letting go!

And I tell myself- to breathe into the past and give it space to accept it

I think this is such a powerful practice and act .

To even have the chance to do this- for myself – I am immensely thankful.

And looking at the intention I set before running, I can’t be thankful enough and I am really really really blessed.

Inspirations From A Run (XVII)

Inspirations From A Run (XVII)

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If everything is energy, we do not really have to do anything on the outside

All we have to do- is change the energy of ourselves and the outside will change

Because the outside the outer world is a reflection of the inner world

So it follows that if we change the landscape in our inner world we would be already making changes to the outside

Anything else we do outside of this is extra effort which may or may not help or distort

Today I get this

And when I ran to this spot, the thing that came to mind was- surrender to the gift of nature now

I am thankful I got the chance to be here . To do this with my body. I thanked my body my cells my blood for this opportunity

And I got the idea to use the sunlight to make newness in my body in my cells . Instead of mindless chatter , I asked my eyes my ears my hormones my skin to make newness with the gift of the sun’s light

And I forgive and tell myself to flip open a new page

Like a baby again- starting out with no judgements, no preconceived ideas, with everything in harmony and in optimum perfection

The key phrase- like a baby

And I m thankful to have this inkling

And the goosebumps on the back is real

Shine, and be unstoppably bright.

Inspirations From A Run (XVI)

Inspirations From A Run (XVI)

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Somehow somewhere in the run , something in my wanted to go forward

And I understand this as – my soul having the desire to go forward

To get out of the present

More accurately, to rise.

Writing now- the idea or realization came to me that I have at one point in time, stopped myself.

And even now with the opening of this regional role, I was still asking myself or cautioning myself lots

Out of a habit of having been in duty for a while

The second important thing that came to me, was the idea that I could make new cells

While I kept my mind on healing releasing , my body showed me how she is healing me so miraculously- such as when the keloid has a burst and healed nicely

I saw John yesterday and he said there was a lot of frustration and pent up energy that needs to be moved

So in the run, somehow I came to the idea that I could ask my body to make new cells healthy happy ones just by being present and open to the gift of sunlight wind and air from nature

This morning as I walked towards the bridge, an auntie whom I saw at the fitness corner smiled to me as usual

And I loved it

I love it because she was there. And I m happy she was there. If the old folks were there – if the old folks are well

It brings me to the idea of gratitude to have the opportunity to be here and to do this

I asked teacher Stephen for his advice and he said this –

“at home it is safe and comfortable a great place to be and laz around. But inside there is a yearning to explore discover express and communicate with others. Your voice can, must be heared and seen. Your heart and mind need to a challenge and that in itself is a tool of healing and it can open many doors and paths you can’t even imagine yet.

Whatever your decision is I will support it.”

He is right about the inside which wants to explore discover express and communicate

Need I say, the run was good

And I saw green birds having fun in the sky

As if to say- don’t take it so seriously, how about approaching it with a light heart. And with the attitude of having fun as I explore?

And I have never ever had this idea. And this shows to me how much I have moved

Inspirations From A Run (XV)

Inspirations From A Run (XV)

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I was wanting some answers.

And the intention was to open up to receive divine healing guidance support

And somehow the message that came through was – irregardless, let it be in support of my healing, whether it be for the keloids or anything

Let whatever I do – be the healing tool

I kind of feel zapped this morning when I woke. Because the people I worked with- they were really demanding of my time and attention

And when I supported them, I kind of lost some of my energy

It came to me this morning that this happened and I was giving too much too quickly

That being said, I am glad this understanding found me.

And also this message

So if I was able to derive something out of whatever I did, letting everything be a reflection of me and me learning something out of it and getting a clearer perspective- it would have served my purpose

An opportunity for a regional commission has come up for me.

I want to know if I should pursue this

My dear divine, my dear self- give me all the guidance and let me make the choice which serves my highest good

Om!

Inspirations From A Run (XIII)

Inspirations From A Run (XIII)

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The sun was peeping out on my way to the beach

And there was this overflight that went from the sea to land

And I wondered once more, if the earth was round

An email from Chloe made my day this morning as I headed for my run

Chloe said she loved the piece on Alain Passard

And that made me feel like- the past is/has not passed

One day when I was running I had the idea to connect to her. She put me on an AF press trip to Paris many years back and I thought I could get to her to pitch a story on Cedric Grolet to her

But after so many years, she’s moved to other roles. Yet she wrote back to me and helped me connect to the right person

Not just that she said she put in a good word for me and that she loved the Passard piece I did

And it brought to mind- the significance of the law of cause and effect once more

I guess I seeded a good cause somewhat somehow sometime back

And the seed is now germinating

It took a while, but the right conditions must be there to help the seed grow

So this current condition – is needed. And anything less couldn’t have helped it the way it did

How much learning is that ? It’s a volume words can not yet- describe

It made think what seeds I am planting now and what/how to do so that I can experience a harvest and a bloom that is supportive of my growth

What did I want with this practice today!?

I asked and the answer and the intention was- to move ahead.

I did my simple qigong practice with this view in front of me, with the warm breeze from the sea

And instead of releasing any energies that are discordant, I got the idea that I want to fetch out my innermost voices values and who I am or what I really stand for – outwards

And not live someone else’s life

Going deeper with the practice, I saw the idea being truthful

Somehow the India trip many years back popped up. It was a trip that was wonderful and so inspiring on the senses , opening them up in a way that I could never have imagined- so much that when I came back to Singapore I literally felt that there was an atmosphere surrounding the country that I couldn’t pierce through

I couldn’t come back

The same with ishinomaki. The trip shook me as a person and brought up lots of things in my own journey

The idea of honesty popped up. If there was a time when I couldn’t fetch something out of someone , it would be because I have not done it with myself enough

Truthfully enough

Because life is an echo. What you send out you get back

As with all relationships, intentions matter.

As I ran , people and experiences popped up. And it came to my understanding that these are things and people that have stayed on – when they should have left

Nevertheless, I am happy they turned up at this point so I said my thanks for having them show up in my life, letting me experience and explore the spectrum of events experiences and emotions with them and -forgiveness , and tuning my head back I saw them all behind me, getting smaller behind me as I ran forwards.

I kind of saw a line of chord I was attached to the past, split and that only helped me in my surge forward. It’s a beautiful practice. And I am grateful.

Inspirations From A Run (XII)

Inspirations From A Run (XII)

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I spoke to HuaiHao this morning. I asked him if I was more mad at papa this time and he said, “of course what do you think. Isn’t it obvious?”

And then this one reminded me, “but now, you are going back there now mommy.”

He is so quick so sharp so divine.

And so I came back running.

Of late I have been thinking of how to transform. How to use the energy we have.

Since energy cannot be created nor destroyed , the way to use it is to transform it. To spin it into a different something

I’m glad I have writing this blog this gift and ease of expression it certainly helped me when I needed

And now, running

So the practice today is to learn how to use this energy I have

I use it power the run throughout

And whenever I felt I needed to speed up, I asked myself if this slightly less than pleasant energy/sensation is still there

And I would use it to power the run

Repeating it.

Feeling it. Using it. Learning to work with it and work my way through it

Then it came to my knowledge once again that these few years have been a most precious time albeit sometimes somewhat difficult- because I really had the space and time to go inwards and to ask myself lots of questions lots of thinking through figuring out lots of sieving through and realignment and repositioning

It’s a very precious journey and tough- anything that concerns the self the soul the authentic is not so easy

But I must say it is worth every second of your investment

I saw that I am fond of find foods and I have given it away. I saw that I should have said that F but all I did was swallow it. And more more.

I love this. This opportunity. I needed this. To be a most spectacular me

And I know- I deserve. I am worthy. And so are you.

Inspirations From A Run (XI)

Inspirations From A Run (XI)

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I saw myself before the run.

And then I set the intention- to come back to center to a place of balance. And soon I was running and visualizing the ball of sun this morning at the root chakra

Today I just did that throughout the run

And amazingly this came out of it

I visualized the keloid – the patch of it dropping away. Revealing and exposing the tender skin beneath

That’s me!

So all along I have been putting on a pretense ? Or at least, living life not being me and under a mask?

I have been hiding haven’t I? I was being someone who isn’t me in big and little ways. I allowed that and it hen I judge myself.

The ways I have not held on to me flashed by. Saying yes when I should have said no. Not acknowledging my needs. Giving another the opportunity to lord over me. Suppressing my feelings….

And who is me?

The idea of deserving came along. Being worthy- just because.

Teacher Stephan also asked and reminded me- who is the most precious?

I asked the divine to show her to me and to guide me to finding her.

I want to brave enough to be me.

Inspirations From A Run (XIII)

Inspirations From A Run (XIII)

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The intention was to find the answers I need to help me move forward.

Ever since I came back from my trip, I find my body slowing down, sometimes I felt like my coordination was up in slips

This gave me worries and fears. Anxiety built up and I went – as usual to search for answers.

Was it stress? What was I really worried about? What bothered me?

So I set this intention for the run today

And I heard these flost into my awareness

– Run deliberately. Breathe deliberately. Go about your life’s littlest things deliberately.

– You created all this, all these extra things with some form of discontent with the present, that present you have had. You wanted something else other than that,

Let’s just say you didn’t really put yourself in the now

My way of tackling an issue is asking why but that did not work for me. It always brought me into a whirlwind of unsettled emotions which confused and thwarted my balance. So I asked. And the answer came.

– what is the best thing you can do in this moment? Or this next moment ? What is the step you can work on. Just do that.

–release. I realize all worries fears doubts self criticism and judgments I have in my system ever since the beginning of time and

– the mind body connection is very real. I hesitated about my way forward and my body merely showed that to me because it was not apparent to me

– what was it that really bothered you? What was stopping you? I asked. Worries (again?) about the kids? My abilities? Actually- no.

It was not knowing exactly what or how I want to live my life.

The last few episodes of The King Land echoed to me.

Won’s mother came to his father and asked of him to let the child live as he wants. To live the life he wants. She said that when she erroneously left Won as a child, she thought that would be the way to protect him, but in that decision she gave up the opportunity to live the life she wanted

She asked Won’s father , “ and did you live the life you want?”

In the final episode, Sarang decides to leave the King Hotel in which she was a top performer. She breaks the news to Won on the same occasion he wants to propose to her. And he keeps the ring back knowing that to love is to allow, to let the other’s dream take priority before yours.

He only asks of her, “ promise that on this journey when you find it tough alone, call me and I will run over”

When Sarang was in confusion trying to decide, she confided in her grandmother

“I’m wondering if the work I do at the hotel is what I really want to do? This isn’t what I dreamed of. I know I should be thankful instead of complaining.“

“My baby has finally learned to grumble and whine. No matter how well known a restaurant is, it’s no use if it’s not to your liking. Who cares about the hotel? you only live once. You should do what you want to do. Don’t mind other people. And don’t hesitate either. Do everything you want to. If it isn’t the way you can take a detour. If you fall off a cliff you can climb back up again. You will be fine. I’m here for you so do whatever you want to do.”

her grandmother put things into perspective for her, “”

And the question that is begging: what IS the life I want? Did I live life the way I want?

I think the last few years had me searching—- I was asking a lot on the inside and that translated to exploring on the front outside. I picked up things here and there and tried things that echoed to me

But they are not exactly mine. Perhaps at most, I rubbed of them a little. I was inspired. I tried to emulate and embrace. But they didn’t last because it’s not me and I would always feel bad about not persevering.

And so, at this point in time, I am asked to find my way. To start living. To be me.

Knowing what you truly want- that is the highest position.