How Can We Do Better

April 29, 2023April 29, 2023 by yellownblac ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

I was feeling really choked and muddled in the body and mind and I knew I had to write

I had to write to sort out my thoughts and to find a starting point again

The question is this: how can we do better? What else can we do? What is the direction I am heading towards? I need to chart my path.

With the passing of Ah Siong Hia, I feel it even stronger that direction of life is more than important. I feel it even more urgent that I know clearly what I really like want and need.

I need to get there.

More than staying in misery sadness fear regret doubts suspicion or anything else. I have done enough of this.

Accustomed habits and emotions that have weighed on us can consume us too easily . They had gravity in our lives. And over the years repetition has given them sustainability. But- why (are we) stuck in the rut when we actually know very well that we wanted the exact direct opposite!

We want peace and calm. Ease and joy. Comfort and satisfaction. Strength and clarity. We need awareness

Where is it we want to be at ? That’s where we put our energy and awareness at .

How can we work with life with the divine with ourselves to make it better?

The report card comes at the point of “graduating” from life

In the last few days there were lots that went around in the mind. Parents or elders , our younger generation and our own selves.

How can we make “graduating” easy effortless for everyone and not like any other “graduation ceremony “ that I have attended?

I thought for a while, it’s not how much money one has or not, how accomplished or famous one is——or not.

Then these words came into my mind:

No regrets

No grudges

Living life the very way your heart wants, gently. Doing things that make your eyes sparkle, giving hope and warmth

A clean open pure heart

Being in love

Only love love and more love

Everyday every minute every moment . To live love , in love. And to intend everything from it. Act out of it.

Be it.

I am reminded of what HuaiHao said this morning. We were lying on the bed and I asked him what is it I should explore.

He said “nature”

But “ not see it but be in it. Because seeing it is different from being in it”

I recall what Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche said, that the opportunity to begin again is in each and every moment “

Let’s try this!

And I just have to share this here again from teacher Stephan

“Just one of these bursts during the flight…

Human Beauty
Comes from
Love and Courage
For life

Have great day”

Magical Europe (II)

December 31, 2022December 31, 2022 by yellownblac ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

31 Dec

We headed for Interlaken OST and made our way to Schiltorn. Bf was hesitant at first because a leg of the rail wasn’t covered by Eurail Global Pass

But I wanted to

So off we went

We took a train from Interlaken OST to Launterbrunnen and took a bus to Stechelberg. Here the cable car journey is split into a few legs and we progressed up

Birg at 2777 feet is where we did the thrill walk where you walk on steel railings and sometimes see through glass so you could see the mountains below

I did that with trepidation little by little

Then headed up to Schiltorn at 2970 feet

Schiltorn offers a view of the surroundings mountains , the Eiger, Monch, Jungfraujoch

There was a segment where you could walk on snow and feel the winds gushing at you

It’s nice. I m back here finally – I heard myself say. Finally! SO Happy!

Facing the sun and getting nearer to it then before

Having the winds gush and blowing at you

Seeing the mountains all around

I asked the winds to support the release of anything that no longer supports me

And I thanked TPY, for she has come such a long way. I thank her for putting in all the effort , persevering and believing and trusting enough amidst all to find her way here.

Mummy

November 3, 2022December 7, 2022 by yellownblac ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

It’s mom’s 20th death anniversary today.

We all headed to the temple to pray. Dad got the food, joss paper as always. And when all is done he said to us, “ mom’s gone for 20 years today. So fast.”

I kind of went through this without feeling my feelings

Maybe that was why I felt so uncomfortable at the temple

Breathe- I told myself

What do I feel?

Tired out. It’s so much work with mummy not around me.

I put up defenses, protective covers, I hardened up consciously and unconsciously. I went the distance and worked myself to the max challenging myself pushing boundaries

I wallowed in self pity

I put up a strong front

I did not acknowledge too many things and just got on with life as best I can

But the more I did this the deeper I fell

Earlier this year, with family constellations, I kind of saw how mummy chose her own path- because she had felt so lost so helpless. So alone.

Awhile ago, I kind of thought back on her journey and her choice

And I guess I somehow got sidestepped feeling her.

Now writing this, I know this isn’t what mummy want.

Its also not what I WANT!!! But I kind of went into it without awareness and came this far

As a mummy myself now, I sort of got my kids worried with the recent slump I have been in

Mummy worried me too- on a few occasions. But she’s always so strong for us . Until she couldn’t hold on anymore

Writing this now, I know I m not mummy, I don’t have her experiences her pain her troubles

I turn backwards now to me. To continue where I left off in my own path

I am counting my blessings as I acknowledge my path and thanking all my guardian angels who have been protecting me and guiding me all this while. Bringing me back after having for mummy’s path for a while

And I know the reason is to anchor me on my own

And although mummy has left for 20 years, somehow she’s still with me

In me

In the patterns habits standards I keep myself up to having been born to her, bred by her

What would mummy say to me?

I recall that in a healing session, her message to me was ‘ “ I m so proud of you.”

And the message now:

“Go get what you want. Stop living life for me for others but for TPY. Let the fear doubts self pity rest. You have everything you need to succeed. The universe is behind you with you”

“you are always shiny always brilliance. Mummy loves you so much.”

Thank you Mummy for this connection this message. Most of all for having me, for giving birth to me, for cherishing me more than yourself.

Love you mummy !

At bedtime, I told HuaiHao about how I felt and this little boy said, “ you do not have to not cry you know. Release it. “

I asked him how?

“Everyone has their way of releasing emotions . Let it out.”

I asked him what is his way?

“Cry”

And what is mummy’s way?

He said “ the same “

I shared that if I let it all out I would be worrying him.

And he said, “ but we all want to care for the people we love”

So cry I did and HuaiHao wiped tears away. I felt two things at one go- I felt so blessed to have him with me. At the same time, I felt how much I missed my mummy. I told him so.

He kind of didn’t really know how to react. He hugged me and put his hand on my face for a while

I asked if I caused him worry

He said , a little bit. “ I don’t want you to be sad”

So I shared that previously I kind of hid my emotions away but I become tired out and low. But now if I displayed my emotions , I worried him.

I asked him which he would prefer and he said the latter.

I thanked HuaiHao for his wonderful teaching this evening and most of all- his showing support and his presence for me.

For a while, I thought I finally — did grieve.

The next morning the first question HuaiHao asked me when he woke up was, “ so did you get over it already? You have to release the feelings otherwise they will control you”

“ so did you?”

I told him it’s like peeling off an outer heavy shell and showing the me that was underneath and I thanked him for holding space for this process.

So much love!

Pent Up Anger (I)

July 19, 2022July 22, 2022 by yellownblac ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

When the spray was on the keloid

It was slightly prickly

And it dawned upon me that a prickly itch or pain is actually pleasurable

And the next question was: why was I looking for pain and creating it?

Why did I want to do with this pain or itch?

To punish myself ? To seek some form of comfort and release in this pain?

What did I do wrong to punish myself this way…？

Who inserted this paradigm into me? That if something wrong was done , you punish yourself to redeem yourself

Was this to punish myself for not keeping to the rules of having a family before signing off the ceremonial marriage ?

Do I really have to if I loved my partner who loves me in turn ?

Isn’t that a natural thing to do if both are madly in love?

Even if this was a wrong, haven’t I punished myself enough?

Must I really act so forcefully on myself? Judging myself within such tight confines of how I have been brought up ? Carelessly and mindlessly living yesteryear rules ?

Even grandma was so happy for me and no one said anything! But I ! In the end I was and have been bearing the load of this

Unwilling to let it go

This is such a lesson for me

What really am I angry with or dissatisfied with myself?

For not being perfect?

How is having a baby out of love not perfect?

And I must be crazy to be thinking this way

But my baby taught me so much. She taught me how to be a mother and to breast feed. She taught me how to cook and how to protect someone. She taught me so much more about me than anyone else

She taught me how to get in touch with me and to acknowledge myself

If anything my baby was the one who was instrumental in my evolution culminating in the person I m today

If anything , I m the work of my baby

And instead of celebrating , I erroneously and mindlessly went in the opposite direction hitting at myself for a lost cause upheld by a less than wise view

If anything, I want to apologize to my baby and to myself for holding these reins on myself

For she must have felt it too.

I forgive myself and release itself from these reins that I have been holding on to. I forgive also others who have been involved in the process in any way. I no longer need these in my life as I lovingly embrace life going forward stepping into the new.

What A Find

June 16, 2022June 16, 2022 by yellownblac ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

The swelling in the keloid erupted and i felt a release

As I was doming myself with essential oils, I asked myself : why did I choose this version of myself ?

I recalled myself being really expressive and eager to share with people my path or how I was disadvantaged. How much of hardship I had been through.

I wanted pity? Empathy? Praise?

I wanted to use my circumstances to invite pity empathy praise and perhaps some kind of a advantage for myself.

Yet when I got the so called advantages, I did not really use them for myself

For example when I got loads of food during festivals I always gave them away

When I got invited to amazing tastings by great chefs I always gave them away

As if to punish myself further

It was always for others rather than myself

I guess I locked myself —— once and again——into a situation or a position of a victim

To win a certain vantage point or carve out an image for myself in front of others

And I kept hurting myself in a way scratching myself and managing the keloids

Why did I do that?

I looked at these few years spent at home with the kids. They were precious so precious money cannot buy

At a certain point in time I remembered I wanted to heal with qinzhi . Then I was disappointed with work and what they could not give me. The freedom to express real passion and creativity had to be suppressed for business logic

And so I chose to come back to the home front

To hide from it all

And to sort things out

I started exploring myself- reiki with Stephan and then Ron and dwelled deep into my soul and my past

The keloids came at some point in time

And with these swelling and eruptions: the keloids was really trying to get my attention to GET OUT

I was excessively spending time on the past on the keloids to avoid looking at the real stuff

I look at myself now- am I happier? Did I get some kind of real joy or satisfaction living or hiding behind that keloid or that image ?

It’s a choice but now that I see—— somewhat a wrongful —— well

Nothing is a mistake so let’s just say I have devoted such a lot of time and energy checking myself out on this end

I went back to the past to see what could have caused it, I tried to inspect the emotions and feelings associated with it.

In another dome session, I continued to explore why I dealt with this theme. I remember saying that I want to heal with qinzhi

And looking back, I did

Looking back I wonder what that has been for. This exercise——did it help me? How?

For sure it did, it helped me release anything more left trapped in those memories. It helped me come to terms with the past. More. And made me discover more about myself, people around me and life. It has been a learning curve and a great one

I hid behind the keloids I did and hid my true power my true magnificence my authenticity that beingness of me

Well I really understood that I probably needed to be in the victim position in the beginning when my resources were limited. And at that time I needed to care for my family and bring food home

But I lost myself as I repeated that victims mode even if I need not have to any longer. It has become second skin to me and I was in that mode automatically. It had been a layer I had worn

But! (So much of ) times have changed, so much of circumstances have evolved and (so much of) I have evolved too.

Activities in the keloids have been so intense to wake me up!

That is—— when I still was stuck and chose to stop myself

Perhaps the most important learning through this all is to know—— move forward . Move forward and not back

I saw a post that read: talk to us about your blessings

Blessings were huge and always with me anytime and anywhere

The fact that I m here writing this is a huge huge blessing

I thank them! The keloids and my body ! I am grateful super grateful my body is forever rooting for me and taking care of me. I thank them- yes the keloids for the inspiration ! For doing their utmost to let me see that it’s time to MOVE ON

I no longer need to be that victim because the responsibilities are different now. I have stopped shouldering the burden for the family for a long long time in fact when sis and brother came out to work

And my husband has always been shouldering the responsibility for building our family

He has always been kind and magnanimous towards me and to let me pursue what I love so long as I m happy

He just wants me to be happy and is so willing to do anything so I can be myself

My family loves me to bits so how silly I have been to be in a victims mode!

And going forward ——what is the version of myself I want to see and approach

I stopped writing for a few days until this morning

I saw this:

Lee Harris:

“You are all healers in your work, whatever form your work takes. All of you possess healing energy that you often give to others. It is now time to use that energy, wherever possible, to focus on what you feel drawn to do, what your heart leads you to do. The point is to choose movement towards your heart’s desires for you are now accessing a level of heart power that carries a great intuition for what you need to do. What you want to do and your knowing is to be trusted – the knowing in your heart of your gifts, talents and abilities you want to share with the world.

You are the master of your own energy. You are the master of your heart. You know what you came here to do and the time is changing.

– From Ask the Heart… For It Knows Everything

(CHANNELED QUOTE FROM LEE’S GUIDES – THE Z’s)”

What do I want and want to do?

I have been asking myself. What is the version of myself I (want to) see?

I see myself so so happy and grateful because I m experiencing great health like never before. My body is in a state of balance and all processes are at its best

I am vitality and a picture of health, having all the energy I need to do things I love for myself and others.

I m calm peaceful and at ease and all of my decisions and thoughts come from a place of love and gratitude

Because I know and is aware

That translates to a beautiful body that is long lean and flexible. I have sun kissed skin and rosy cheeks.

My skin is beautiful and shows off the purity the peace in/of my thoughts. I m pretty beautiful , cute.

While I am at times envious of others flying around and having loads of wonderful experiences as a writer, I actually really like to stay at home. And to be (here for)/with my loved ones.

Maybe when the kids are slightly a bit older, say in one to two years time, and if a great opportunity comes along, I can and will be happy to take off again.

Until then, I will be happy to take on lovely freelance opportunities that allow me to express myself whilst I bring out another’s passion, quest and zest for life

Yes that is what my heart wants

It’s been a long while since I took a walk by myself

The weather was amazing with the constant sea breeze

along the walk, people who “hurt” me popped up

And I asked me, why did you so easily give your power away? Take it back take it all back

And I released – once again—- the people and the trauma they brought me into the air, claiming my power back at the same time

It was a good exercise

It made me aware that there was still stuff left there. They had been traumatic for me- more than I knew myself

And on the bus, I asked this question: is all healing guided by the soul?

As in, an exploration of the soul?

Yes I would think.

If all journeys were an extension of what the soul wants, it follows that healing too

I mean, I have been hanging on to the keloids for ten years

Why haven’t I healed yet?

And the answer is that my soul has chosen to in the time that has passed to explore this

How worthwhile is it? And what good has it brought me?

I think quite a lot . A while good lot of it . BUT- enough already.

Does my soul still want to go this way?

NO!

My soul wants me now to see the miracle of healing instantaneously

And the miracle magic and wonder of life. And it follows, the power and limitless possibilities i embody

So long as I m willing and choose

Yes I am willing

I m willing to change

I am willing to heal

I am willing to become the most wonderful and powerful version of myself

The version of myself that is better and better

That miraculous divine in me

And seeing that not only helps me but also helps me see the divine in others

Show me the grace the miracle the wonder

Somehow, this realization found me.

That the faster you move away the better it is

And I read this on Lin Chunyi’s page

“Each life experience we have has energy, just as everything in the universe has energy. Sometimes we hold on to the energy of an old story and live it over and again and it can keep us from moving forward.

One effortless way to release old stories to make room for new ones is through loving. Loving stories are never a burden. The stories that can repeat themselves in our emotional world and in our mind are the ones you feel are unfinished.

Often they are filled with ‘could haves’ and ‘should haves’. The energy is “I should have done this, or that.”

The other stories can be ones where you couldn’t believe that someone you thought you could trust did something that you felt hurt you. There can be energy like resentment, blame, and feeling a victim of the experience.

The wisdom here is that you can leave anything when you love it. The more you dislike or even hate something, the more bound you are to it.

Think about the stories you feel you have carried with you most of your life that you sense are holding you back from new, happier, more fulfilling stories.

Now, take the same experiences and list for each one the good you find in each story.

This will help you to change your story and change your energy, to live a more joy-filled life. “

And I put this question to myself, what did I find that was lovely?

While I appreciated that the keloids helped me discover healers like John well and even kickstarted my healing journey and is the reason why I even saw content and many like this above, I did not seem to find love for this

But this morning as I put the question to myself again, I thought I heard it

The keloids and my dwelling in them- gave me the time I needed before I could face up to what was required of me

It was my run away time

And the line was blurred between a respite I needed vs an addiction

Maybe sometimes one of the two, sometimes both

It gave me the time the space to break away before I was ready

I needed this

But now! I m clear and I can say

Let’s change. I m willing to change and to release that addiction the itch the swelling and all

I do not need this already

And I saw this

“ I release all my fears pain hurt from the past. I allow myself to change grow and step into my light. I am safe I am strong I am worthy. I am powerful beyond measure.”

And this!

“I am grateful for my courage my resilience and my deep inner strength. I release any limits and boundaries and I embrace all my potential and possibilities. Everything is unfolding in perfect timing. I trust I believe I receive.”

Swiss London 22: To where you want to be

May 19, 2022 by yellownblac ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

We were on the train to Chur and we need a more comfortable seat. I said to sis that the guys to our right are leaving next. I said it so casually.

And they did leave the seat when the next station arrived.

Is this coincidence ?

It brought me to knowing manifestation once more

And to be mindful to it because it all comes back to us

How can we be responsible ? I mean, we have to.

I was so tired I went to bed at around 9pm Swiss time. I woke up at around 330am and the thought came :

To shift to where you want.

Where or what do I want. Us this trip to shift to. And the people around you will not be the same too.

My family at home. My family around me.

They are no longer the same as well.

I heard myself say to consciously shift to a place of love, laughter, joy, happiness, forgiveness, understanding.

And I thought about what I thought about- that life needn’t be learnt the hard way. In the laughing is the healing. In the laughing is the learning.

Like how we were all laughing on the train about the passengers who left their seat for us. And I did think about the trip as a joyful journey.

We can learn easily, lovingly, joyously, beautifully! We can reverse all processes!

I watched Matrix 2 on the plane and there are so many meaningful quotes one of which is: you can’t go back there, you won’t.

And I watched Shang Chi and one of the quotes were Shang Chi ‘s mother telling him that he gets all of what his parents give him. And it is up to him to make his gifts his, in a way that is him.

Traveling these 2 days with sis and dad made me feel grateful and feel somewhat carefree. I told sis I m grateful and that we must have done something right.

Sis is the one who is more expressive. She cares for him so much and flows into everything like taking pictures for him while I m slightly still more laid back . Writing this made me know I m still holding back

I remember in my sessions- I know that both sis and I were versions of mom who care for dad. And in different ways.

And sis is doing the opposite and she has shown me how easy it is to just be and let go

And the point I reach is: I m dad’s princess once more. Nothing to do.

The highlight of today is Glacier Express and dad was seated opposite me. While I can see that he is tired and old, I took care not to see too

Dad did my opposite and remarked that I have a lot of white hair and sis said I m already past 40. To which dad replied: time, so fast.

I sort of felt or saw myself as a little girl in his eyes. Always has been .

On the other hand, Dad is always thinking of me as a priority. When sis asked what he wants for dinner, he would say: I love veggies so let’s do a veggie place. Or after dinner, and sis asked if he liked to go for a walk, he would say- I m tired so let’s head home.

I am reminded that he the hubby brother and HuaiHao are the same soul sets. With them, I m always the princess . And healing each one, heals all.

I just couldn’t be natural or at ease. Rather than asking what m I still holding on to, I m seeing this as- we are already at ease. Like a photo we took while we had the opportunity to get off glacier express . The mountain range as our backdrop, we smiled so nicely.

In that point : I m dad’s princess once more. Nothing to do.

I am reminded that me the sister and qinzhi are the same soul sets. Healing one heals all.

A Collection of Advice

May 15, 2022 by yellownblac ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

Collected these along the way. And I know they came because they are the echoes that come back to me, to what I send out.

Realizing My Self (IV)

March 26, 2022 by yellownblac ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

Spoke to W yesterday and after listening to my work as a journalist fond of asking questions , she has this to suggest.

“Why don’t you stand in front of a mirror and interview yourself? You have been asking other people questions but not yourself. Ask yourself how you feel and what you want. More.”

She says I have the capacity to feel but there are just too many “layers”. Once I remove the layers, I will be able to access this inner knowing of mine.

She also advised me to meditate or just simply inhale frankincense and ask, what do I want or what do I want to do and wait for the reply.

I asked W about the pain in the right side of my body. I told W that when I read Louise Hay, she mentioned the right as connected to masculinity so my relationship with the important men in my life. She offered another perspective- that the left side is the receiving side and the right the giving side. It’s like, “ hey you have been using me again and again and it’s not balanced .”

Wow!

Yes and I did have problems receiving and always find myself in the giving position . Sometimes even when giving is sucking out of me my energy, like how the women in my tribe gives, they give and give of themselves until they are sucked dry of their life force .

And I m certain I do not want that. So do the reverse TPY.

I love conversations like these that remind me of my inner wisdom or knowing. You just know and there is no other noise

I m envious of W and the others who have the capacity to feel and know for certain what works or what not. I want to get there and the fact is, I have—-on many counts

This morning upon awakening, I asked myself what was it in the keloids. And I heard my own reply

The first I heard, it was shame. I felt shameful of the work dad was doing. Then I heard myself say, but that was the only means he had at that point in time, and he had no choice but this to raise the family.

The next I heard was guilt —-guilt feeling this way, not understanding.

Then there is resentment and anger. Resentment and anger towards dad for choosing this means of work and resentment and anger towards myself for not understanding his predicament and lack of a better alternative. And allowing myself to feel this way.

There’s also hurt too. And those are as well his feelings of lack of choice. Probably now as I write, all those feelings above of shame guilt anger and resentment are his too.

There’s also fear, fear of letting others find out what work he was doing and who I really had for a father. Not that he committed any bad deeds or crime but just that my principles and rigidity did not see the good in his choice.

And because of all this, I was not feeling worthy deserving I was not acknowledging my value my self my preciousness. That was why I keep putting myself down and placing myself in a situation of lack of not allowing my light to shine.

Seeing this was like achieving a breakthrough.

I lovingly, joyfully, effortlessly release all of these feelings emotions patterns of feeling and consciousness that have been in me. This past this history—- I thank them for the inspiration and lessons for making me this independent tough and accomplished——- but I do not need them now.

The past is past. I do not need these set of logic system beliefs habits emotions in my present.

I release them joyfully happily !

I m free, so is dad. All is well.

I m thankful.

And I find myself so tired after this. That has been the burden on me. All lifted.

All is perfect and well. I am whole and complete.

I trust that all I need to know is revealed to me in divine order . And all that I need and want is supported by the universe. I rest in this knowing this trust.

I m loved so very loved. Thank you universe!

Thank You and Goodbye 2021

December 30, 2021January 2, 2022 by yellownblac ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

My new year wish for 2021 came true.

“In the brand new 2021 ahead, let us mindfully breathe and experience the power of the breath. May we connect at a deeper level with our body and soul. Through this, (re)discover our innate intuitive abilities, our dreams and the richness of our experiences. May we always find beauty, hope, warmth and peace. May we be gifted with open mindedness, possibilities, inspiration, goodness. May we use each and every opportunity to speak our truth and chart new territories with grace and wisdom. Everywhere, let there be magical, healing experiences of light. I know that we will be always be guided, protected, and blessed. We’ll shine like never before. Happy 2021.”

Right till the end

Honestly I didn’t know if I have feelings of thankfulness for 2021. What I discovered of late seemed to erase whatever gratitude I might have in me.

I slipped into a low. It was as if a part of me fell asleep.

I struggled out of bed on the wee hours of the last day of 2021 to capture my thoughts

I wanted to . I felt it was the only way for me to get a handle over myself after my discovery

I subscribe to the logic that we manifest and choose things in this life.

Did I really choose this surprise discovery? What and how in the process —- made me manifest this?

I want to find out.

I asked god and the divine – what is it that you want me to know? Is it the feeling of deceit and betrayal? Maybe, so as to know the full spectrum of emotions ?

I felt like after so much effort, my attempts to steer myself away from my parents experiences have been futile

In the end, I came to experience deceit and betrayal and dishonesty like my mother have. She chose to give up on despair

Now the turn is for me to make my choice – and I m sure I deserve nothing less. So why should I crinkle and buckle under this?

And I should not give all my pursuits away because of this. This discovery shouldn’t have the privilege of robbing me or erasing anything else that I have been putting or planning out. No. I shall not be stopped

And is it about forgiveness I have to learn ? I came to realise and uncover that I have been angry at myself for submitting again and again

For not heeding my gut and internal feelings and to keep dishing out chances

Beyond forgiveness for another, the lesson seems to be forgiveness of self

I recount what I learned awhile ago

Affirmative statements of forgiving others and the self who have consciously or unconsciously intended and afflicted harm onto myself and others

I thought about this dajiujiu sent

Please look at the speech that was read two days ago by the Pope.
Regardless of religion, see how Pope Francis has beautifully written about the family.

FAMILY, PLACE OF FORGIVENESS …

you are not perfect yourself.
We do not marry a perfect person or we do not have perfect children.

©️ There is no healthy marriage or healthy family without the exercise of forgiveness. Forgiveness is the medicine of family joy and happiness

©️ Forgiveness is vital to our emotional health and spiritual survival. No matter the offence or who is the offender, without forgiveness, the family becomes an arena of conflict and a fortress of evil.

©️ Forgiveness is the asepsis of the soul, the purification of the spirit and the liberation of the heart. No sin is too big to be forgiven.
He who does not forgive does not have peace in his soul and cannot have communion with God.

For this reason, the family must be a place of life and not a place of death; a place of forgiveness, a place of paradise and not a place of hell; a healing territory and not a disease; an internship of forgiveness and not guilt.
Forgiveness brings joy where sorrow has brought sadness; of
Healing where sorrow has caused disease.

A family is a place of support and not of gossip and slander of one another. It must be a place of welcome not a place of rejection. Shame to those who plant evil about others. We are family and not enemies.

When anyone is going through a challenge all they need is support.

¤ By Pope Francisco

And this, this uneventful discovery——seemed like a trial for me to show me what 2022 will be made of

I faltered slightly when I first knew of this uneventful discovery. But I stood my ground and found my footing . And I know I have passed the test

Wow 2021. What a twist at the end and what a surprise you have handed me now. And I know this too shall pass and I will ride through this unscathed

I thought about emptiness — that I could use this as an opportunity to practise and for mediation of emptiness and impermanence. To take it as if I am watching a movie perhaps.

I tried to associate myself with these thoughts to anchor my mind

The fact is this disturbance this shakeup makes me want to search deeper for a place of calm and balance . Where is it ?

But it is a fact that this discovery has taken a toil on me . Much as I felt so tired and so torn, I want to continue on my path

That was my intention and it was what made me go for my second jab. I want to call back my life and the things I love even with Covid

I m ready

I thought of my reiki teacher Stephan . And he WhatsApp me this: “Dear Pin Yen, indeed I was thinking of you yesterday. Move from your mind to your heart, your gut, feel your feet in the earth. Trust in your steps, but be tactfull. Does that mean anything to you?”

I can’t help but laugh at the point of being tactful

And to which I replied : “ Very much so teacher dearest! 2021 gave me a shock at its tail where I discovered that there had not been complete honesty . And I uncovered how much anger I have for myself too. I learned a lot these few days. And I asked myself – in fact I m curious how I manifested these all. I want to know.

Just- What did the source want me to learn in this twist it delivered to me?

Forgiveness? The spectrum of emotions ? Getting closer to my heart?

Recognizing my self and my precious TPY who deserves nothing less but the very best

And indeed I went to place my feet in seawater to feel the earth

I just went for a sound bath and slept like a baby

The therapist sprayed some mist which is intended for one to feel self love. I smelled the sweet scent of it

And I was happy with myself for doing the best I could for myself and my family

And still will, not give up love. I thank you!!!”

I thought about the December energy update by Lee Harris and he said something like arising fire energy, a deep remembering of our ancient energy, breaks and sharp cutting ties and gifts of magic and the heart. I just didn’t think it would be so abrupt

This turn. But as with life, nothing falls short of surprises.

He suggests we try and capture ourselves with 2 questions

What are you grateful for in 2021?

I am grateful for the healing inspirational energy giving sunlight

I am grateful for the breath I breathe the life I have

I am grateful for all the healing I have experienced

I am grateful for Dr Loo who has written letters to help me children not vaccinate

I am grateful for all the nice people who have popped into my life and given me a hand

I am grateful to walk and run and to have the opportunity to pick up running

I am grateful to be in touch with teachings from all the spiritual masters and teachers

I am grateful to myself and my body

I am grateful for huaihao and QinZhi and my support system made up by my nanny and my family who loved me unconditionally

I am grateful that QinZhi and huaihao got into the schools just below our flat

I am grateful for my wisdom my beautiful mind and heart

I am grateful for myself

I am grateful for this discovery which freed up the real me the life force in me

I am grateful for my father and I am grateful I have the sanity to build a new relationship with him

I am grateful for knowing and recognizing that I don’t want to be stopped by my husband anymore

Or for that matter by any thing of the past any person any ——thing

I am grateful for meeting my inner child and for all the big and little realizations or messages the divine sent me

What are you calling forth in 2022

I call for a new relationship with myself! With TPY.

I am calling in open mindedness and love and compassion like never before

I call in more and more, these beautiful pockets of quiet stillness inspiration

I call in my connection to the divine to my masters my angels

I am calling in my truth as I always have been and is gifted to my soul many lifetimes and in this life to be with me

I am calling forth consciousness and awareness

I am calling in my ability to manifest my wonderful future and the days and moments all inI

I am calling forth the most inspiring and beautiful traveling experiences

I am calling in love and lots of unconditional love to be showered on me because I deserve and this is my birthright

I am calling in lots of wonderful opportunities for me to express my gifts my gratitude my love my soul

I am calling in vitality great energy great health abundance of wealth like never before

And therefore calling forth my wildest dreams

I m calling in and calling forth my intuitive abilities and capabilities , my innate potential to be expressed by the talents and gifts I have, in a way I m familiar and comfortable with, using my experiences to share outwards the light and love , warmth and hope I have received

I am calling in and calling forth all of my guardian angels, the source the creation the divine , and all the resources and support , all the inspiration and light, all the energy I need to carry out the above

I call in and call for protection blessings support love to be showered upon every cell in my body every inch of my soul at all levels of my existence

I am calling in my life force my source energy and connections .

Thank you and so it is.

In the new fairy moments ahead, I have called in and called for all these wonderful opportunities, resources and support we need to be unreservedly you, me, us.

To be mindful enough to free ourselves from any restrictive programs or mindsets.
.
We miraculously discover, BE(COME) and ground in exactly who we are and what we are born for.

In doing so, celebrate and express our innate truth, gifts, talents. In doing so, share our light.

2022, you will be sparkling magic. Thank you—- in advance.