Tag: Parenting

10 Yrs 4 Mths

10 Yrs 4 Mths

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Huaihao is working hard at the Rubik’s Cube and exploring all ways to solve it–and he has.

This month, the foodie in him was channeled to help me with tasting sweets, and when celebrating daddy’s birthday

Look at the card he made for daddy!

But he also had a go at rediscovering what he loves-drawing, sketching and he does it with this sense of wittiness that is in his eyes

He spent some time going back to the basics-drawing, because he had too much device time and is banned from it for 2 weeks!

But being banned doesn’t stop him from exploring possibilities, he was trying out all the ways he could think of before calling it quits and coming back to draw

When all that he tried couldn’t make the devices come back to, he had to fall back on his first loves

That’s how he got to make a wallet like this

On day we were at the National Museum, there was an art programme going on and i took the chance to participate with huaihao, where he drew himself on the bus

Looking at the drawing’s expression, he must have been bored stiff!

On a weekend, he woke early and we headed out to walk and had our usual vegetarian bee hoon

This month was also big for Huaihao as he had the chance to participate in Track & Field during the National School Games season. He was really excited about it and this day he had to report to school at 635am.

My recommendations to Huaihao was that he should enjoy the process and have fun rather than to be bent on winning. And afterwards he shared that having fun was exactly what he did. And he would go for it again!

On Mother’s Day, I woke up to his card, he hid it under his pillow and flashed it out when I woke!

At bedtime on a few occasions, I was asking Huaihao for some advice on my career progression to which he said things like:

“you have to start somewhere, you can’t be a protagonist right from the beginning “

“rich people don’t do things they don’t like”

“you have to do things you like”

One day on YouTube, Qi Qin was playing the harmonica

Me: So nice to be able to play. You could direct your emotions into the instrument and let them be expressed in beautiful notes

HuaiHao: You can actually be the instrument you know

Bedtime with HuaiHao

Was telling him about a new opportunity that has come my way and I m not feeling entirely confident

But speaking to him cemented things. I had prayed for an opportunity because I wanted to provide for my father every month

And this is one opportunity that is. If this isn’t the universe’s answer to my prayer then what?

Wow

And he said, “ go for it. Isn’t this what you have been longing for? And if you don’t try, you don’t know.”

when I asked him for advice he also said, “ rich people don’t do things they don’t like and rich doesn’t just mean money.”

On the night he came back from visiting the Thow Kwang Pottery Jungle, he shared with me bits and pieces of his trip. And we spoke about daddy. And HuaiHao said, “ he’s so grumpy today!“

So I asked, “and what do you do?”

He said, rolling his eyes from side to side, “ it’s like there’s someone passing the ball in my eyes. Let’s just get on with what we are busy with or else the clouds that we are will turn into a storm”

I can’t help but giggle at the way he puts things. We could have been a cloud to observe it all, but if we participated in anyone’s unhappiness , we would if unwitting enough—be joining their storm.

What wisdom.

Another day at dinner time:

Me: I’m sorry I m not a good cook

HuaiHao: pats me on the elbow, “ it’s ok there’s always a next time

But HuaiHao did not keep to his promise about using the diffuser and I would not be in his room if he had not . But there I was . And he said, “ because you want to be with me.”

How accurate.

Always and forever

9 Yrs 10 Mths

9 Yrs 10 Mths

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It seemed like yesterday that Huaihao just transferred to Ngee Ann Primary School and now he has completed one year of study. We headed out as much as we can, trying to get the kids to get as much sun as possible. Love Huaihao’s sunkissed cheeks.

We had lots of splashing fun at the beach when we went to soak our feet in water, Huaihao got totally wet and drenched in sea water as he lost his footing. The first time everyone got wet and had no extra clothes. We washed and dried up at the bathrooms and headed to dinner then walked back up the beach to home

Huaihao looked really cute trying on the hat! And winter helmet, goggles and jackets.

This evening , we got the kids to try out winter wear and Huaihao had so much fun in gengyan jiujiu and ah mei ah yi’s winter wear. No longer kid sized.

This saturday, we were waiting for Qinzhi to finish her dance and headed to the furniture shop. And he was trying out the design pieces.

At ah yi’s, and Huaihao would be e asking ah yi to trim his nails and in turn he would massage ah yi.

To prepare for Ah Yi’s birthday, the kids painted something for her and on the 17th, we headed out to our favourite restaurant to have dinner to celebrate Ah Mei Ah Yi’s birthday.

Then we tried to prep the kids for a new academic year by cleaning the cupboards and headed to the bookstore to get books.

Have been fasting for a few days and Huaihao helped me “make dinner”. Asked him why he took a long time and he said, “i added lots of love in!”

And Huaihao reminded us that, “it’s just a few days before we get into December.”

13 Year 9 Months

13 Year 9 Months

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The long awaited end of year school holidays is upon us. And Qinzhi has officially graduated Secondary One. We are all happy to see her move on to Secondary Two. Most of all, she has challenged her boundaries and limits and— enjoyed Secondary 1 even if there are down times

In the mornings that Huaihao is in school, we girls head out for some sun to work out sweat. At night, we have potato chips and K drama, and both of us knew at heart how precious these times were. We connected resonated and found a new friend in us

This is Qinzhi trying out cold wear as we prepare for our trip. Qinzhi loves the cold weather , she loves to dress up and tells me how cool it will be to dress in jeans shorts paired with stockings and boots. She even made friends trying on cold wear in Uniqlo and another lady chatted up with her on what to buy for her own winter trip

But look just how much time has passed to blossom this little bud into a lady. She already looks very much the fit dressing out in Ah Mei Ah Yi’s hand me downs

And one evening we took a stroll by the beach wanting to bathe our feet in water to ground. But everyone ended up getting wet. And the best part, lots of fun. And a first time getting wet without extra clothes/

And Christmas is upon us really soon. Ah Yi typically buys Christmas decors for herself and would buy extra sets for Qinzhi and Huaihao. Like a little tradition.

And on this day, Karyn brought Qinzhi for a tasting at a new eatery. This is such a great experience or Qinzhi.

Qinzhi painted this- called Opposites for Ah Yi

On the 17th, we headed out to our favourite restaurant to have dinner to celebrate Ah Mei Ah Yi’s birthday.

I hope Qinzhi gets to try out new things and really take good rest in the holidays, recharging herself before secondary 2 starts!

Be well Qinzhi ! Love you!

9 Yrs 3 Mths

9 Yrs 3 Mths

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Huaihao asked me these questions the morning of Easter.

“Mommy, if you have 3 powers, what would they be?”

I said I wanted to be able to create what I want. (and in my mind, i heard myself say, I already have that power, in fact all of us do, we are powerful creators and we create our own reality.)

The second was to heal everything I touch. (and in my mind, i knew I or we already have that power.)

The third was to be where I want.

Huaihao added, “you mean the power of teleportation?”

I asked him in return what powers he wanted. To which he said, “I want the power of wisdom, so that I can make the right decisions, I want the power of health, so that i can clean up everything in the sea and it would be clean and the power of teleportation.”

We continued our conversation.

Then he asked, “Mommy, is there anything you want back in your life and anything that you want out of your life?”

I said, after a while of thinking , “maybe my mommy? then grandpa would have a companion and (he said, —your life would be more whole?) and you would have a grandmother.”

And i would want to have all the strong energies or emotions that bring me the cyst and the keloids out .

And I asked Huaihao, what then would he want in his life and out? He said he wanted papa to be not angry and wanted to be back again to younger days.

And i asked if he really wanted to be little again.

Then he asked me what the soul does.

I said the soul evolves and learns along the way. And shared with him some theories i have come across, such as us picking where we were going to be born in, what we are going to learn and who we are going to meet. But—What a question from the little one!

Another day, we spoke about his dad in his own cave. And we discussed what strategy we would employ to help dad?

I proposed 2 ways, to go in there and fetch him out. Or, to remain at a high and he matches our high. We discussed how easy it was for us to match him at his state or be affected by him doing or his non doing . And Huaihao said, “guys just be yourself and don’t follow the hurt!”

I m so amused by the wisdom of this little one, and I asked how this came out. Did he read this somewhere or copy ?

And he laughed, “I just pooped it out”

I love how he dishes and sends me these nuggets of inspiration in such a light way. It makes me realise that wisdom, love is always with me.

This day after school, qinzhi has CCA and I took Huaihao out to Tenjin for lunch. Like a little excursion of sorts for us. Me time.

On this weekend morning, we walked and headed to Jewel. When Huaihao saw this fountain and the rainbow that was reflected, he said, “seeing this gives you hope right, Mommy”

And there’s so much beauty in this appreciation and sharing. Seemingly little things that brighten you up.

Was getting qinzhi to say affirmations such as I love, approve and accept myself and HuaiHao was around and he said, “Happiness is me.” And when we were running he said “I m god”

Wow. He isn’t that far off from this truth- we are created in the likeness of god and we all have these wonderful amazing qualities.

This weekend, we did Duck Tours.

And this is Huaihao’s booklet recording his device time. Love his doodles!

Power does not come from saying, it comes from the heart!

And one day he popped out of the bath in this getup, and felt satisfied in me being so amused.

He also started to plate his dinner

This friday at ah yi’s, ah mei ah yi was trimming his nails.

One evening we went shopping for groceries and took the chance to ice cream

Another day, Huaihao wrote his own story and came up with a tongue twister

And bedtime with HuaiHao is always lovely. He said he still remembers how breast milk tasted 

“It’s sweet, a bit salty and not fishy like milk”

HuaiHao was tucking me in bed and I feel so loved

I said thank you and this makes me feel like a princess 

“ but you already are !”

But I m not pretty

“ why do you say that?!” He sulked

“ you are pretty and if you believe you are, you are!”

So well said 

Think thoughts that make you happy

Do things that make you feel good

Be with people who make you happy

Eat things that make your body feel good

Go at a pace that makes you feel good

Today I went for my third dose of vaccine and came home totally zapped of energy and I feel breathless.

HuaiHao offered to massage me and did it for so long after he raindrop me.

Amazingly his hands always pointed to the right spot where pain and soreness residedI

Asked him how he knew and he said, “ this part is softer and jiggly but here is stiff.”

I had sone pain in my right arm and elbow but HuaiHao said the stiffness is more pronounced in my left shoulder

Then he said, “ the left hand is connected to your right side of the brain and vice versa. And the left side is the logical brain and so it follows that you are stuck in the logical aspect. And mom, you are like a sponge soaking up all the oil . It’s like if you like it you soak it up but if you don’t you leave it all there.”

Wow

Then he continued to massage me until his back is sore and I told him that I do not want that.

We lay down on our backs and he massaged my face.

It was so good I said many thanks to him. I bowed down to HuaiHao and thank his healing hands for saving me out of the lousy feeling.

To which he said, “you make me happy too.”

I took the opportunity to remind him of how magical and powerful his love was , pulling me out of the deep and reviving me.

Then I went on to caress his hands. And I felt myself teary for the warmth of the touch was good to me too

I asked HuaiHao how he felt.

“Makes me feel like crying.” He said.

I m grateful for HuaiHao . Thank you for healing Mommy precious one! Love you so much HuaiHao!

13 Years 2 Months

13 Years 2 Months

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Gifted Qinzhi with a raw ruby and a raw emerald and these seem to be the things she needed. And I shared with her the power of saying affirmations.

“I am willing to change”

“I love approve and accept myself”

She went on to do “I m the best in math in class”

and the miracle is she did in a short span of time. Before she was really weak and registered resistance when it came to maths

And now, she’s the best for algebra in class.

How amazing is that. And she is providing me with a mirror to spur me on. Motivating me to do the same.

This weekend, Qinzhi said she wanted to do a staycay at ah yi and this would be the birthday present she wants. And ah yi made her a nice breakfast.

Then popo and ah hui ah yi made curry and we happened to have bread so we did the dip.

And Qinzhi’s hair is so long now.

Qinzhi showed me how she dealt with errant behaviour of her classmate who disturbed her in class. And the way she did it was amazing. She displayed such maturity in her words and thoughts. I told her she is super awesome

Be well and happy Qinzhi!

Missed the bus, but hey

Missed the bus, but hey

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I did all I can at my best, prepared all the brews, breakfast and lunch for HuaiHao , did raindrop for him and headed out for my reiki 2 class.

Before I decided, the tired feeling came on.

Now that I journal, I just know—— it is not mine. But the husband is going thru his cycle. Unconscious to it .

All along when HuaiHao is not feeling well, he would stay clear and not be responsive. He would side step and I would handle.

This time too. But today as I was deliberating if I should stay at home or head for class, I decided the latter.

The hub has gone back to bed- a sign that he is switching off and going back into his old mode.

So I would make room, consciously for him to go through the process. What is different is that, as opposed to telling him what to do, letting him know what I prepared, instructing him as to how he should act ie to take responsible, I left after letting HuaiHao know what he can expect from what I have prepared.

I will leave my expectations somewhere there, with room for them to play it out. Rather, for the daddy to be guided by the son. Or rather, for the divine to set things in order.

For all that I need to know, will be revealed to me in divine order. And all that I need, is taken care of by the universe.

I see them breakthrough. And it will be different from the past.

And so it is.

I popped down and saw the drizzle and went back upwards to get an umbrella. When I went down the drizzle was somewhat gone. I feel light and reiki love outwards.

Then I saw the bus I was aiming for pass me by.

I shouldn’t have went back up for the umbrella! I thought.

But as I was nearing the bus stop, I saw the outline of another bus, and that is the bus for me. Less crowded. And I got the space and the feeling to journal this down.

Sometimes, missing a bus might not be that bad because a better one comes by.

Like what the Dalai Lama says, sometimes missing something is a blessing.

9 Yrs 2 Mths

9 Yrs 2 Mths

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Huaihao has grown even more in this last month, no longer a little kid, he is rounder, taller, fuller, firmer. His vocabulary improved lots spewing out words such as hypothetically, logically, don’t beat around the bush and lots of others. He gave me lots of riddles and asked me about how the Titanic sank, telling me about the third moon of Mars.

Irregardless, every friday we spend a day at grandpa’s and ah yi’s for good food. Here’s one!

At first, the kids observed how ah yi made sourdough crackers, then they started making it too. Needless to say what fun and fulfilment , plus bonding too!

Ting Xie or spelling is nothing regular when its done the Huaihao way. He adds all these cute doodles alongside the words.

Weekends are spent walking by the beach in the sun, then grocery shopping with mom. This day, Huaihao saw a rolling pin that might work for ah yi at SCOOP!

We got a reservation at Summer Pavilion and its always good there! Huaihao’s appetite has grown tremendously and he loves the XO sauce too! The fried rice is da bomb and he continues to have it at home!

On another day, we headed out and let the the kids have MOS Burger. Then grocery as usual and here’s Huaihao picking out a watermelon.

On another evening, we had dinner at Blu Kouzina—greek and then walked back o the beach barefooted in dusk

I love how Huaihao always teases me and makes me feel happy. Recently he asked for spaghetti and would dream up his own pairings such as a runny egg with seaweed toppings or ebikho! Palate is good!

And here is one goodnight hug which the boy needs.

To address how his eyes twitches due to excessive iPad use, Huaihao stops every 30min (when dad is around) and looks out far for 15min. This really did help him lots!

Before the school holiday ended, Huaihao wanted sushi and we headed out for dinner

We took the opportunity to shop for a present for grandpa and got him a replacement water bottle. We are celebrating Gengyan jiujiu’s birthday too and the kids couldn’t find anything suitable. Then Huaihao asked dad: “what does a man need?” Hilarious when mommy heard this!

Then they wrapped up the present!

And we had an Israeli dinner

before the staycay with ah mei ah yi starts,

Bedtime with HuaiHao

And I asked him how he felt seeing me at the school gate waving ferociously at him welcoming him ? And he said, “ you are the brightest star in the night sky. I can see only you.”

I was like—- wow.

But what he said was the truth. I could see only him too.

He asked me a riddle. And told me he thought of it himself.

“A captain was on a ship and he said hi. What was the name of the ship? ”

And he said, “ What”

Haha.

Then he asked what if we could turn back time. Can we?

I asked where he wanted to go. And he said, “ Redhill because I grew up there. I kissed the floor you know.”

He did that beautifully when we were moving out

And if I felt cold, HuaiHao would get up and tuck me in bed, the way he did it, he would tuck the blanket below my body and it reminded me of the way the kids’ dad did it for my mom.

It was a great opportunity to release the pain or at least, the discomfort I felt in my chest. It took me a few days to get that kink sorted out, but now when Huaihao tucked me in, I made the effort to tell myself, Mom must have been happy to feel the care and that is a past long gone. So many things have changed and we have moved. And now I m not Mommy, and this is my son showing his love and care for me. Thankful for the opportunity to release this.

Realising My Self (III) : With The Hub

Realising My Self (III) : With The Hub

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When its time, the hub, or bf comes along with me.

I had wanted Ron to coach the family unit on emotional intelligence, but he proposed that us as a couple come in first, the reason was that kids these days are so evolved and it wouldn’t take them long to see things.

But we as parents, might not be armed with adequate tools to support them.

Thankfully the hub or bf is open to this session.

I left it to the divine when I suggested this, I really just left it with the divine and spent no effort contesting this in any way.

He said yes.

Need I experiment anymore with manifestation? . And the idea was to hold the the thought so light. So light And leave it to up there.

And it came real fast.

We were in Ron’s office yesterday. And he explained to the hub what why and how.

We started with this powerful exercise, Ron asked me to vent my frustrations while getting the hub to hold the space at a certain frequency.

Amazingly, I found some difficulty at complaining as he moved down the list.

We did the experiment in reverse and it worked too. He just couldnt complain once I started to be in the higher mode of being.

And this made me understand that at a higher state of frequency, things which used to exist simply didn’t anymore. They simply cant (manifest) at a certain level up high.

Unless you bring yourself back to the low which the original problem exist.

This is really powerful learning.

“When you level up, your boss cannot even come near you. Problems cant come near. They simply don’t exist because you are at such a high.”

And can we theoretically hold ourselves at a continuous high?

“You got my answer right. For us to maintain equilibrium, just love your wife, your children. It is just like that, so how difficult is it? The thing is when you cut yourself off from them, you don’t feel empowered because you no longer stay in the frequency of love, or in the unlimited resources of we and everything spirals down. Stay in the connection with your wife both level up and that can hold the space for the kids for the family”

The beauty is that he managed to open up further and went on to sort out stories about his beliefs on money and how those beliefs have been wrongfully tied to events that have happened to him as a child.

He could see why he turned out the way he did and that all these belonged not to him!

More so, he could now see why he was so frustrated each time Huaihao cried or triggered him. And he could see that this all had nothing to do with Huaihao or the kids but all the limiting beliefs and stories he carried on himself and the child is just lighting the path for him.

This to me is priceless.

Going on to 13 Years

Going on to 13 Years

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Qinzhi said she cant believe she is going to be 13 in a matter of days and asked if I could? I tried for a second and said, not really. In my mind, I saw her just out of my tummy, Dr Soon just got her and the nurse placed her me and she started to suckle.

It was the first time I felt life-force coming out of a baby, so strong. It saved me from whatever I was in and gave me the strength each time I needed.

This afternoon I asked Qinzhi for some help. And she replied, “say something to your awesomely spectacular and super guai daughter”

I took the opportunity to say , “I love you to the ends of the universe and beyond eternity”

And I felt I have gone there and back.

That said, February got the kids all happy and excited because it is Chinese New Year. We bought some new clothes, cleaned the house and prepared the tidbit box. And Qinzhi had it all done so nicely. She helped me with the oranges too.

And before we knew, the even of Chinese New Year is upon us. Its the first time she is celebrating it in her new school with her new friends.

And we had our closest most precious come over for the Reunion Dinner.

When we had leftovers, Gengyan jiujiu played with Qinzhi and Huaihao scissors paper stone, whoever lost would have to pick up the leftover food. And this is the first time Qinzhi tried braised goose feet and oysters.

And before we knew it, we are in the Year of the Tiger. Qinzhi and Huaihao wished us Happy New Year with oranges in hand. And Daddy always placed angbaos below the kids’ pillows and they would have fun and joy picking out angbaos when they awake.

Then we headed to grandpa’s and ah hui ah yi’s where we had popiah and ngoh heong, curry and steamboat.

We continued visiting on the second day of Chinese New Year and Gengyan jiujiu and Karyn jiejie prepared the same clothes for all to wear. And Qinzhi is so grown up she’s a lady now.

The biggest thing I learned in the last 2 months was that qinzhi me my mom and my grandmother and the lines of womenfolk up, we all belong to the same soul set. Which is to say, they are all me and I m all them. I m mommy and grandma and qinzhi

And so if I healed, all the women in the line healed.

And if I did not know how qinzhi would think, I could just ask how I thought. If I didn’t know how I felt, I could just rephrase the question and asked how would qinzhi feel or say.

That is how much we are alike.

And on the even of qinzhi ‘s birthday, I went shopping for steamboat items

Then headed home to prepare dinner and to wrap up qinzhi ‘s present

And daddy did too. He heard about qinzhi having to deal with stomach cramps during her period and went on to get this gift of an electric heat pad

Got Qinzhi a Le Matin strawberry shortcake composed of really beautiful layers but we were all baffled when it comes to eating this ! Most importantly, we had everyone dear to Qinzhi celebrating and singing her a birthday song

Then we headed o Marine Crescent and had steamboat. Gengyan jiujiu helped order a strawberry shortcake from Ami patisserie and collected it. The chef presented us with another burnt cheesecake with truffle !

And his is Qinzhi blessed by grandpa and all of us!

We headed home late and then Qinzhi had more presents to open up!

Happy birthday princess ! Continue to believe in yourself your dreams and your power. There is nothing you cannot do.

You are so loved!

12 Years 11 Months

12 Years 11 Months

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The holiday flew by in a blink and its time to prepare for school. And prepare we did , first by trimming the tresses. And Qinzhi is now more open to trimming and she actually liked the hairdo.

On Christmas eve, the kids popped over for a staycay at ah mei ah yi’s , did a supper time movie and had McDonald’s the next day for breakfast.

And Mommy spent the day looking for Xmas presents for qinzhi and huaihao, then the kids harvested more presents after a staycay at popo and yiyi’s

The next thing we did was head over to Tenjin for some tempura

We also did our usual walk

This is Qinzhi playing with bubbles out of our window

Before school started, we had a chance to head out and treated Qinzhi to food and drinks she wanted.

We came to know that Qinzhi has been posted to St Anthony’s but did an appeal. Qinzhi was extremely happy to know that she’s got posted to a girl’s school. She was jumping up with joy. And when the news came in that our appeal was successful , this girl was indeed overjoyed she cried! Mommy quickly came over to hug Qinzhi and to share her joy. Her biggest dream come true. We headed to the school to get some admin work done, and then bought school uniforms and books.

I remember telling Qinzhi to remember this feeling, this feeling of being granted. Her wish, granted. And to carry this happiness this feeling of joy and thankfulness with her.

On the first day of school, Qinzhi woke up early. And she tied her ponytail up high. Love her new look! Her smile. It speaks of confidence and appreciation, gratitude. We all walked Qinzhi to school, then met her when she’s off school. And since then, Qinzhi has been waking up on her own for school, within 2 months, we saw how much Qinzhi evolved , from passive to active. She tells me that she is capable of doing lots, especially if she likes something. On us, it is on us to find out that something which powers her and keeps her energised.

And when I asked Qinzhi to capture her intentions for the new 2022, she wrote so clearly what she wanted.

Dearest Qinzhi, believe in yourself that you can achieve anything you want. All within your reach. Remember the magic of getting what you want. That feeling, cherish it! It is that which gives you more.