It is interesting how I picked out dramas. They seem to deliver the things I need to keep me in perspective
Annarasumanara aka The Sound of Magic is a fantasy-music-psychological K-drama directed by Kim Seongyoon and written by Kim Minjeong. The show is based on Ha IIkwon’s webtoon of the same name, starring South Korean superstar Ji Changwook in the lead role, alongside Choi Sungeun and Hwang Inyeop.
Annarasumanara is a moving and inspiring story about growing up and being the person you want to be. It’s a beautiful message about seeking happiness through faith in one’s dreams.
Magic doesn’t create miracles
But allows you to discover them
How should we live life
A lot of adults give a lot of answers
How would an immature child answer that question?
Would that answer be wrong
Flowers don’t bloom on asphalt road but on bumpy dirt
I realised that I can’t become a magician that everyone in the world believes but I can at least become a magician for one person
You know I m going to keep trying to become a good adult that gives little miracles to people
The secrets of all that magic
If you just break out of the mould of the word destiny
There is a world just for you
Make your own fantasy
Spread your worn out hopes that you crumpled and put away
I woke feeling and knowing I want to start a new relationship with myself—— with TPY
If there’s something I want, it will be this.
To be anew like a fresh piece of white paper. With no preconceived ideas and notions about what is and not , what can and cannot, what should and should not.
Huaihao came to kiss me good morning and say happy birthday this morning.
I woke up
😊
I rose and did the usual routine. Prepared ningxia red and the supplements and breakfast for Qinzhi. It wasn’t a chore but every chance to make her better.
Then I find myself at the beach doing a run.
With each breath I clean the insides and the run became slightly meditative in nature.
As I cleaned the area of the keloids the cyst the intestines I thought about the doctor’s appointment. No I do not need that!
That and the whole set of rules ideas fixations on how I lived my life, taught to me by people and their experiences and expectations. Impressed upon me by my experiences and circumstances, I thank them all for bringing me to where I am so I can say – that’s enough and from now, I want to start living as TPY and start this new relationship of figuring things out through the eyes of TPY, with as much awareness and as little of others’ experiences as possible.
So that I can experience myself! I think that somewhat answers my question of what it means to live.
If you don’t do you, you won’t be done. So—-are you who are you?
And I find myself seeing the clouds nearing the sun, as I did a time lapse of the process, I saw for myself how the clouds let the sun’s rays come thru.
Then sun is always there. Yet we are not always aware of its magnificence. We often cannot see the sun until there is something like a cloud which comes by and allows a contrast somewhat and that’s where the rays of light become obvious.
So it seems like we need the clouds to see the sun. We need something to see ourselves in and the very stuff we are made of.
And while the clouds are here, do we have the awareness that there are here to help get a clearer perspective? And we can remain impartial to them ?
Do we have the patience to wait for the clouds to pass by to reveal the sun which is always there? The sun in me as in you.
Let’s start anew, afresh! I am thankful for the opportunity!
I remind myself to be with the new,
To use my intuition and innate abilities and understanding to move forward
To use my skills and capabilities in the highest good to serve and for the betterment of myself and others
To be kind and compassionate to myself
To relate to myself as the most precious
To learn new things visit new places
To have new works that share light wisdom and wonder
I want to experience magic like never before
On this day, I honour myself and all of which I have experienced, all of whom I have encountered. I thank you all and most of all myself.
On this day, I want to embark to the new with the things I learned. Take flight and soar like never before.
Then dad called me in the morning to wish me happy birthday and so did my brother and sis
My nanny came last 2 days back and cooked me gado gado and gave me ang pows and oranges
In the evening, dad sis and brother came and we had dinner and cut a cake.
When we were singing happy birthday, dad and huaihao sang the loudest and I kept looking at huaihao and he kept looking at me. At bedtime he said it was because its my birthday so of course he had to look at me.
And I told him that i almost felt emotional and want to cry and i felt like if i continued looking at him, we were almost locking eyes,, he would too.
To my surprise, Huaihao said, “let it out, don’t keep it inside, emotions are like the clouds and they will be blown away by the winds. So let it out, don’t keep on to them.”
We chat. Huaihao was saying happy birthday to me —with so much love and i felt so cherished —-at almost every juncture he could find. He told me about how he planned for my birthday.
“I told papa that mommy’s birthday is coming tomorrow so what should we get? Then I said mommy likes to write so maybe we can get a book. We went to Popular but did not find anything nice, I told papa, can we get something better for mommy?
Papa said, ah i know where and we went to this high class shop at raffles city! first of all, i chose the colour of the cover to be pink, (why didn’t you choose yellow?) because there was none, and i m like , how can there not be yellow? then i chose the flap to be yellow, the button to be gold. Then we picked the words We Love Mummy, and inside there is a Happy Birthday 2021. The male assistant said he normally suggest the words to be behind so there is a surprise and I took his suggestion. (so why didn’t you write your name and jiejie name behind?) because each row of words cost $10. The book needed 40 minutes and so we went down to buy water go to muji and then went to pick it. (did you like it?) yes. then we went to Tarte (by cheryl koh) but it was closed! aiya! then we went to cedele. And I chose the ondeh ondeh cake because you said you liked it. Then we came back to hide it in the storeroom really inside. (did you chat?) yes, we talked about when to give you the present, who will be here and all these…”
My tears were wetting his pillows and he popped out to get a tissue and wiped my tears
Huaihao said his wish for me is “happy birthday , happy birthday to my precious precious precious precious precious precious mommy. I wish you to be healthy happy and to live forever and never to die.”
I said a big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big thank you to huaihao.
And he asked :” what did i do?”
“you planned for my birthday, gave suggestions for my present and designed the book for me”
And he said, “but papa paid for it, “
Huaihao asked me if I liked my present, if I liked the cake. I said I did.
“this book is like a custom made one by huaihao. and no two is the same. even if the words are the same, the colours would be different. “
and Huaihao said, “even if the words and colours are the same, it is still different because this one you have carries my love.”
I thank Huaihao again for the love, for teaching me what it is to cherish and what it means to be precious. If I didn’t know previously, I know now how precious I m. I cannot imagine how precious I m or what I mean to him. But he let me know.
Thank you Huaihao and Qinzhi of course!
Happy birthday TPY! You spectacular being! You precious one!
The set is waiting for the newsmaker or the interviewee to tell his or her story
And I don’t mind that I m waiting so long just to do the interview. I also do not mind that the money isn’t good.
It means I like this work.
I begin to see no dream —- of me taking helm of a magazine and steering it . It will be a magazine exemplifying goodness wellness and has information about living an abundant spritely life.
A few thoughts came to mind:
I have been using what I know to balance myself back in the recent shocks I experienced
And I managed to
And I m gaining confidence about this innate ability
I have been feeling that the words I repeat are keeping me in the old. It means I haven’t been ready previously but now I know I am. Maybe , not maybe but I should start a new commentary.
Instead of saying to myself to release all the fear shame guilt in me, I m beginning to see myself bye away from this and beginning to love saying —- let’s build and create health, happiness, vitality , healthfulness, longevity
And I hear kyron’s message
Release or drop everything that was ever taught to you
Drop everything that defines you is about you
Drop it
You will not survive well in the new if you have energies of the old
Come in fresh without any of the baggage of what you think is right and wrong true or false
Everything you have been taught has been in the dark room
Stop deciding what others think about you
Drop the perception that you need them
The old tools don’t work anymore
Do not let the past dictate the future
Don’t let the disappointments of the past pace into the future because things will change
Learn to relax with life
2 steps forward 1 step back
There will be things that will derail you but don’t be discouraged
You don’t take on others problems and let them bog you down
You are the light of this planet don’t let anyone put it out
Set aside all the anxiety the fears and let your feet be washed
Think higher
Reboot into enhanecment not surrounded by processes of old energy
I asked my kids. Qinzhi said , to live is to learn. HuaiHao said, to live is to be free. And they are but 12 and 8.
Then HuaiHao said, “ you should do what you like. ”
I said that I like to do interviews, write , listen to people’s stories. Do videos.
I told him what it means to be free. Comparing my life previously when I was working till now, I can now choose what I want to do or not do- I certainly feel free-ier even if I m earning way much lesser
And he asked, “ don’t you like to be with me?”
And I said I was waiting for him to ask me this.
But am I living my life? Doing what I want? Am I living my truth ? and is at peace with me?
I saw this quote by Michael Beckwith, “ if you don’t do you, you won’t be done.”
I watched a Korean drama and in it and old granny told a young man “we all know you have had a tough time and we all appreciate how you go around helping people but go and live your life. Eat good food and be happy. Then you will be happy and your loved ones will be happy.”
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