Just like a star I stay here for long While everything is changed I just cannot help but stay, hmm Just like a star Don’t even see myself get old It’s hard to be explained I wanna break away I keep on praying Oh, why
If my tears fall Down in my universe Turns into a new world Time to find my way back home Thousand years’ gone Don’t feel nothing no more You’re the one I long for Now it’s time to go I hover like a star Ooh-ooh Ooh-ooh Just like a star All the memories got stuck (oh) I’m tired of the past (oh) I want to break away Oh, why
If my tears fall Down in my universe Turns into a new world Time to find my way back home Thousand years’ gone Don’t feel nothing no more You’re the one I long for Now it’s time to go I hover like a star
The lyrics kind of echoed on me
It somehow made me feel so much better, resolving the emotions I had that I couldn’t really reconcile
It made me feel like I can move on and take it in my stride
It kind of made me know who I am and what I am made for
Chanced upon this new kpop drama at the time I picked up Buddhist studies at Tibet House
The teachings were profound and spoke of the law of cause and effect which governed the universe- and life
The teachings spoke of mental afflictions like attachments aversions and ignorance and how we keep ourselves in samsaric existence in the wheel of life
That was what the kpop drama is about
Ji Eum is in her 19th life and she remembers all the other lifetimes
Because of her attachments she couldn’t let go of, she actively courts the people who were dear to her in her last lifetime like Seo Ha whom she loves, like her sister Cho won whom she loves
When emotions got intense Ji Eum lets her truth out to Cho won and Seo Ha
But there was one dream that coming to her and that was something she had to piece together
Kang is another young man who provided the clue to this dream. He placed the shaman’s bells in Ji Eum’s room and she gets to go back to her first life
By and by she saw what happened, piecing things together bit by bit
She saw how Kang in her first life killed Cho won and herself , and how Seo ha protected her
Most of all she saw how she, in a fit of anger, in a crucial moment, vowed to remember this hatred and to come back
When she saw it was herself that bound herself to the past, she broke down.
It wasn’t anyone else who tied her down. While she was looking for the killer who killed her sister and herself, she realised that it was non other than herself who bonded herself to this lifetime, it was her who stopped herself from breaking away or breaking up
It was herself who cursed herself
“It was me. I bound myself to it. Because I was enraged.”
And who brought herself into existence over and over again
Wow
Wow
Wow
And the title to this final episode reads, “ the one who ties the knot has to untie it”
The drama used an analogy this way.
Her niece in her last lifetime is sick and Kang tells her there is a way to saving her
He seeks redemption and asks for forgiveness
And delivers the message that –
If and only if Ji Eum forgets everything and all memories fall apart and there is no trace of remembering anyone she is attached to
If she chooses this path, her niece would be saved. Conversely if she chooses to remember, Cho won and Seo ha whom she loves dearly will suffer the same fate
Ji Eum rationalizes over this and try as she might she does not want to forget
She asks, “ what can I share if I forget”
In her agony it was Seo ha who came to her and assures her that even if she does not recognize him, he will come to her
Ji Eum seems to have decided and went to her house in her previous lifetime
She hugs her mother who seems to know that Ji Eum is in fact her beloved daughter who has passed away and has come back- a promise her daughter made to her
Ji Eum finally went to the bridge in her first life where she was killed, shaman bells in her hand
And she met her in her first life and is asked how she feels
Ji Eum says she is happy
A carefree heart that is ready to forget everything
And four words- All is good now
And the drama shows that she is renewed and has no more memory of Seo ha and Cho won
Instead, the tides have changed and in turn Cho won and Seo ha now court her back
Ji Eum is a new piece of paper with the memories gone
I love how the story brings the theme of acceptance and making peace out
If we live and breathe without acceptance, we are essentially living the past in the now
Recycling attachments emotions and creating more afflictions and mental defilements to further lock ourselves- and our loved ones in samsara
So much pain misery and suffering
But even so – like how Ji Eum finds it hard to choose to forget
And rather hangs on in pain
The drama shows that there is a way out
And that if we forget – actually , if we choose to accept we can start off on a clean slate
Life is lighter and simpler
And this is exactly what the Buddhist teachings are proposing
That we all have the potential and freedom to choose at every moment in time
To steer ourselves away from mental afflictions and to go closer towards wisdom
It is in the sway of emotions that we hang on to something of the past. In this clinging and grasping, we hurt ourselves more than anyone else
I look at myself in inspection
I have been wanting to “get rid” of the past- by not looking at it, by not touching it
Thinking that this is the way out
But it is so wrong
Making peace with oneself is not like that
Making peace means a carefree open heart and a feeling of freedom
I wish this for everyone for all beings to experience this openness and freedom in one way or another, at one time or another
May all beings be well and happy.
I told bf about this show and how Ji Eum’s dilemma to forget reminds me of mom who told dad at her deathbed that she wants to come back to him again and be his wife
I said any kind of pain is disregarded in her love for she still wants to be with dad
And bf asked, “how do you know it is all painful to her? You do not know what they went thru together. It’s only your perspective you see but you do not know the full story “
Indeed, I saw only the painful bits and took that as the whole
My perspective led me to the reality of a pain
Bf’s question got me thinking- a lot of people said mom loved dad more , but what if she got the love of her life from dad? That is why she is so giving too
Whatever the case, bf’s question had the effect of piercing through a dream and to break it up
And I saw how my one sided incomplete perspective led me into a dream. Is my heart carefree enough to forget this everything that is?
I tried to say “All is good now”
Yes all is good now
And if you were to see this from a larger perspective, the lifetimes actually could happen in one . They just refer to the past that one cannot let go of and keeps recycling
A Korean docuseries documenting K-pop reps, asking them if they were to do a perfect performance before they died, what song would it be and where—- all in one take
The episode on Rain was very inspiring
I kind of grew up with him
When he started out in 2002 that was when I began my career as a journalist
I remember watching his concert live and watching him on Take 1 made me feel alive
It made the engine in my heart start roaring
There were so many wonderful quotes, such as
“Just do it the way you practised “
“Treat the practice like the real thing and the real thing like a practice”
“The stage is about the tension between an artist and the audience and I will use that tension as fuel to unleash my energy on stage. It is my goal to put forward a performance that makes you shiver from head to toe as soon as it starts”
“Give a performance that is impossible to give. Even if it’s impossible, I like to give it a try”
“Even if it doesn’t work, I need to try my best first”
“I won’t stop unless we nail it”
“I always told myself to never regret things”
“People get a few chances in their lifetime. But if you don’t do your best each time, you won’t be given a chance next time”
“I don’t know how others evaluate me. But if I had evaluate myself on stage it’s not that I was cool or the best. It’s that u was true to myself. If I were to evaluate myself I’d say I did my best and was devoted. ”
His fans all went wild – obviously , seeing this one take . 25000 applied to come into the blue house to watch this performance and only 1000 came in
Qinzhi was watching with me and I told her, I also want to do something that makes me come alive and makes people come alive.
Set in the seaside town of Gongjin, the story tells of Hong Du Sik, who has come back to Gongjin after spending 5 years in Seoul, carving out a career and facing the death of his good friend .
At his lowest, it was Gamri, and old granny who texted him when he was about to kill himself, who saved him. Unable to forgive himself for his friend’s death, he moved back to Gongjin and started out with life again, but hiding himself and his capabilities by doing odd jobs, living his life lesser than he is, contented with just helping out with meagre chores like catching anchovies and mending fish nets.
He meets Yoon Hye Jin, a dentist who has moved to Gongjin, and they fall in love. Not knowing that they have actually met more than once. The first time when she was a kid with her family, he tried to make her laugh when his grandfather was taking photos for her family.
Another time, she was angel who dialled for help when she saw his alone in patient clothes on a bridge.
When Dusik hid himself and refuses to acknowledge his feelings, thinking he is undeserving, Gamri said to him
“we all know you have had a tough time and we all appreciate how you go around helping people but go and live your life. Eat good food and be happy. Then you will be happy and your loved ones will be happy.”
In the last episode, Gamri wrote a letter to him when he find himself wrestling with his past.
Seeing what Granny wrote reminded me of myself, it made me think of the time i was in a wreck and how gor gor would prepare food for me and nurse me back to wellness and balance.
She said the same, that no matter what, eat I must.And i shouldn’t even skip a meal so that I have strength (to stand up back and go on.)
I was retrieved with the oats she cooked and the soups she warmed up for me every night.
And now I understood why, like granny, perhaps she felt that preparing food —and seeing that I ate well, was the only thing she could do for me.
I haven’t chased after a Korean Drama for a while and this is by Hyun Bin and Son Ye Jin, “Crash Landing On You”.
It definitely helps because Hyun Bin is SO addictive,
Even his back is awesome.
And he plays the piano. Gave me so much joy watching it.
I first interviewed Son Ye Jin in one of her first dramas, Summer Scent in 2003 in Korea. And to see her again.
The story tells of this successful rich young woman who paraglide and ends up in North Korea due to a storm . She meets a handsome soldier who has closed himself to life around him because of a deep dark loss he experienced of his brother who died in a bid to uncover truth in the North Korean army. Hyun Bin rescues this young woman and gradually opened up, warming up to life.
The story unfolds to show how the young soldier repeatedly risks his life to save hers as he tries to hide her in North Korea whilst finding ways to send her back to the South. And even crossing the line, stepping and crossing over the DMZ, and finally surviving a crawl underground 10km long to get to the South.
The story then goes that she tries to send him back to the North.
Unknown to the 2 of them, they had already met much much earlier in life. Many years ago in Switzerland, the young woman was on the verge of ending her life, but came across a beautiful tune on a boat ride, it was this melody that gave her courage to live.
Many years later, they both realise they had crossed paths but not met.
There was another occasion, when this lady had taken a picture for this young man.
And unknowingly , the gentleman had taken a photo of the lady as well.
And this brought me to the point of timing and resonance.
Something much deeper had culminated this.
People who are with us now, somehow—–somewhere in the distant past, we have all crossed paths, and created Resonance one way or another, this resonance gets reinforced, and culminates in an incident when we meet. That is how it is.
And why is there resonance?
I think if the voice in your heart is clear it will attract resonance.
Till the time is ripe and right for us to meet. Until then, we will continue to cross paths. Crossing paths, like a prelude. I think about the meetings I have had with some wonderful people. And these are like preludes that will culminate/crystallise in a certain future or meeting.
How many times have we met not knowing? When is the time for us to meet?
Its beautiful to the point of heartache.
And there are some beautiful captures along the way.
In North Korea when she got lost in a market, he held up a scented candle which she once mentioned and led her to him.
我们都希望，有人为自己点一盏灯
想起老师说，每天，为对方点一盏灯. Mr Ng used to say this to me and bf, that we should light a light for each other every day. As you light up, its a simple ritual to symbolise opening up oneself to light and bidding darkness goodbye. Its to remind oneself that I am light and so is your partner.
And to see this scene in the drama, Such such! poetic way of putting across the yearning we have in each of us—–don’t we all wish someone will light a light for us? In fact, very deep down, we take it that people we love —we look upon them as a light who will support us, secure us, stable us, protect us, guide us to home, to happiness all of which that will make us feel: life IS enough, everything is already there. I don’t need more, I just need you.
It’s not what you have but what you don’t need that makes you happy.
I am grateful that you are born into this world. I m grateful that the person I love is breathing .
Love is loving the other more than yourself. Love makes you a better person, one of the quotes I really love is
“Because I like you I will keep in mind where I m going. I will live that way.”
A few other nice ones:
“Why does the wind blow? It’s blowing to move on. The wind needs to keep moving for me to fly, In order to meet you.”
“You came into my life like a gift. I m grateful for that.
And What do I do when I miss you so much?
Just wait and pray desperately. You asked if you could see the person you miss by doing that? You can.”
There’s also this: “Sometimes the wrong train takes you to the right station “ . This. We don’t know until some point in time when we connect backwards and makes sense of life’s journey.
The story started with the female lead paragliding and landing on a tree in North Korea. He found her, as always and their story began.
The story ended that way too. She went paragliding in Switzerland, back to where they crossed paths many years ago. And she landed on a spot. He found her.
She descended into his life. Like a gift. And that is how we all are.
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