Tag: Growing Up

12 Years 9 Months

12 Years 9 Months

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On this day, Qinzhi graduated from primary school. If it hadn’t been Covid, we would have been at school clapping when she goes on stage. But we clapped all the same at home watching the YouTube link shared by the school

YouTube link: https://youtu.be/X_O47QDQ00A

1 hour after starting on play.

And she wrote this for her Chinese teacher

Where has time gone? My little princess has even her own TikTok now

The days fade into time and only the events pop up now. And the subtle things like how she bit my nipple when the nurse first put her on my chest right after coming out of me. Like how she warmed my hands when I was at my weakest.

It was in 2018 december that Qinzhi had her first experience of focal epilepsy.

With medical advice to keep piling on medication, I felt a nudge in me that says —-there must be some other way out, there must be. I went to seek the advice of John and the community. And was given a protocol to calm and ground Qinzhi . John says that there is absolutely nothing wrong with Qinzhi and encouraged me to ground her—this crystal child who is extremely sensitive to energies around her. He asked us to keep the energies in the house stable. He commented that if I changed, she changes. He recommended simple things like eating clean, stem cell therapy everyday, the importance of mineral essence and super b to ground her nervous system. I did raindrop for Qinzhi every single night with the oils suggested.

After 2 plus years, the doctor says that we can consider cutting down on medication should there be no further episodes. A few weeks back qinzhi went for an EEG and the after so long, the doctor agreed that we can cut down on medication.

This is one very wonderful piece of news and I have John and the community to thank. I asked Qinzhi what is the best news and she says it has to be this/

She has grown so much since then. Into the little lady she is now

Qinzhi is this playful happy child who would not stop at “mischief” and playthings like this, like if anyone came by for delivery, she would go “Hello”. When daddy did his art tests before he went for work in this covid situation, qinzhi would partake in the live test with his boss and say Hello to his boss too.

She is this happy expressive joyful spirit I never knew before the seizure events. Today we are managing this together as we had for the past 2 plus years. As much she changed, I did too in my own way. She’s taught me too much, about essential oils. About the process, about healing and healing together. I left my job to heal with her and I think that was the best decision I made in my life. When I heal, my mother and daughter heals. I experience this for myself. And the road to healing is a long one. :like the peeling of the onion skin.

This is the painting she did for her own room. And gengyan jiujiu says she should explore art further. I think so too. And Qinzhi is someone who thinks when she moves. She is dancing really well to kpop and doing lots of exercises to keep fit and in shape these days.

School’s out and Qinzhi got an award for being a “character champion” in school; shining for the way she is. I think in life, results carry you only to a certain distance, but the character you hold is with you for life. We spent some time clearing away the old textbooks and worksheets.

A while ago, the parent chat group sent out an invitation for parents to write a letter to our children who would be receiving the letters on the day of receiving PSLE results, as an active way of informing the kids, that the results do not define them.

We were let known that the results will be released on the 24th November and Qinzhi has asked me to bring her to school to collect her results.

More photos here: https://photos.google.com/share/AF1QipPt_Yat5WfZwIaMJhdRNPY96GvKenBeLwNWjhTeqoZZttX2ysHK-K5VdAwwLlSEIg?key=S1pLMlJaMDVHT0huVXR0bTVnYm9xLXJCb3VhTlpB

The 17th is Ah Mei ah Yi’s birthday, and Qinzhi wrote ah yi a card and a letter. I think its pretty well articulated and heartfelt. Then she helped ah yi make bread and videoed the process

Dear Qinzhi, your perception and generous heart, kindness is a gift from the divine. Math science english or academic results will not make life easy and happy for you, but learning to appreciate and honour the gifts of perceptiveness and use your magnanimity and generosity will help you go far,

Remember that you are one and only, always and ever precious.

Love you so much! Ever so precious Qinzhi!

8 Yrs 9 Mths

8 Yrs 9 Mths

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Huaihao had a chance to be alone in the house on my birthday. Dad went out not knowing I left the house in the morning with zhi. And Huaihao ended up being alone.

He called me and cried. It was his first, being home, alone.

And there’s the weekend morning runs and competitions, and Huaihao would do his best to win so as to get an açai on his own. One day, I said to Huaihao, who has won before: shall we let zhi have a taste of being the first? And he said, that is unfair to ask of him, because he would be working hard on his own and would want to see how far he can go too. One time he ran his best and won but afterwards ended up vomiting on the expressway, I held his hand and walked with him.

And typically we would eat after the runs and be goofing around somewhere

And we did popsicles at home

One morning Huaihao went bicycling with dad

And we had a picnic by the beach

His current faves at this point

At bedtime, HuaiHao asked if I feel better now that I am not working. I said yes and no because there’s the finances part which I might have to be careful about

And he said, “but what’s the point of money if you do not feel free ? There is no point in earning money right if you don’t even have time to eat lunch or do what you like. ”

Then he cupped my face in his hands and said “ keep well mommy”

I asked why and he said , “ because you are cute”

He says that daddy is always in a dungeon and in his own cave and he finds it hard to express himself. But why? “Just spit it out!”

When he saw me scratching my keloids, he said, “ don’t scratch, just breathe and think of other things “

On my birthday,Huaihao came to kiss me good morning and say happy birthday this morning.

I remember how huaihao sang the loudest when we have the cake and I kept looking at huaihao and he kept looking at me. At bedtime he said it was because its my birthday so of course he had to look at me.

And I told him that i almost felt emotional and want to cry and i felt like if i continued looking at him, we were almost locking eyes,, he would too.

To my surprise, Huaihao said, “let it out, don’t keep it inside, emotions are like the clouds and they will be blown away by the winds. So let it out, don’t keep on to them.”

We chat. Huaihao was saying happy birthday to me —with so much love and i felt so cherished —-at almost every juncture he could find. He told me about how he planned for my birthday.

“I told papa that mommy’s birthday is coming tomorrow so what should we get? Then I said mommy likes to write so maybe we can get a book. We went to Popular but did not find anything nice, I told papa, can we get something better for mommy?

HuaiHao chose this present for me because I told him I liked to write and that he told me I should do the things I like.

Love you so much!

Dreams

Dreams

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The set is waiting for the newsmaker or the interviewee to tell his or her story

And I don’t mind that I m waiting so long just to do the interview. I also do not mind that the money isn’t good.

It means I like this work.

I begin to see no dream —- of me taking helm of a magazine and steering it . It will be a magazine exemplifying goodness wellness and has information about living an abundant spritely life.

A few thoughts came to mind:

I have been using what I know to balance myself back in the recent shocks I experienced 

And I managed to

And I m gaining confidence about this innate ability

I have been feeling that the words I repeat are keeping me in the old. It means I haven’t been ready previously but now I know I am. Maybe , not maybe but I should start a new commentary.

Instead of saying to myself to release all the fear shame guilt in me, I m beginning to see myself bye away from this and beginning to love saying —- let’s build and create health, happiness, vitality , healthfulness, longevity

And I hear kyron’s message

Release or drop everything that was ever taught to you

Drop everything that defines you is about you

Drop it

You will not survive well in the new if you have energies of the old

Come in fresh without any of the baggage of what you think is right and wrong true or false

Everything you have been taught has been in the dark room

Stop deciding what others think about you

Drop the perception that you need them

The old tools don’t work anymore

Do not let the past dictate the future

Don’t let the disappointments of the past pace into the future because things will change

Learn to relax with life

2 steps forward 1 step back

There will be things that will derail you but don’t be discouraged

You don’t take on others problems and let them bog you down

You are the light of this planet don’t let anyone put it out

Set aside all the anxiety the fears and let your feet be washed

Think higher

Reboot into enhanecment not surrounded by processes of old energy

It totally resonates

12 Years 6 Months

12 Years 6 Months

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Its been a close to 1 plus months since we moved in and Qinzhi has been enjoying her own room, space is great, in fact Qinzhi is loving her own space. Once Daddy was working night and I invited the kids to bunk in with me, with Qinzhi couldn’t sleep, at the end she headed back into her own space.

Where once she needed us, now she needed her own space more.

One weekend, we woke up at 6am on the public holiday and headed off towards the beach, striving for MBS and Dad gave everyone a treat without us requesting.During which, he apologised to Qinzhi. He told Qinzhi about his story when he young and explained how because of those experiences, he was acting out of those experiences.

I was observing Qinzhi and she was on the brink of tears, but she sort of controlled them.

Another week, we headed over to the Jewel, finding east and the sun in our walk.

Yet on another weekend, we found rain in our footsteps and we had to be at ease and patient with the rain in the underpass.

On yet another we walked to MBS and had the kids’ favourite breakfast of fish burger. Another week, we picked up bento sets and found another outdoor area, then pigged in. It was nothing the kids had before—experiences like these,

There was nowhere to eat at but in the open, with Covid playing out and rules and restrictions in place. Still, it falls nothing short of a great experience really and I believe the kids will remember in time to come.

Qinzhi says, when the sun rises, you rise too. So simple so beautiful so powerful—— qinzhi’s captured the feeling of rising.

On a weekend, we walked to MBS but she went too quickly and in the midst of it, felt faint. I motivated her to walk to get up and go —- no matter how tired how strengthless how much she needed water

She stopped on the bridge and we talked. We saw the national day flypasts of the jets and we talked

Maybe in time, Qinzhi will remember or forget this. But we shared these moments together.

Meanwhile, I took Qinzhi to trim her hair. And while fear is in her habit, she managed to get past and let me know that she did like her new look.

I prepared a shower gel with EO for her and asked her to prepare a tag. She did this which I love greatly not knowing why

But afterwards realised that—QInzhi’s gone completely opposite of what I would do, where I was efficient she was extremely great at taking her time, when i pursued the best of results listening to what my Mommy wanted me to, she took it her way. When I did not treasure myself, she said this and reminded me to

And now I do, it’s about (learning and trying your best to remember to never let go of) appreciating and loving oneself no matter what.

7 Yrs 11 Mths

7 Yrs 11 Mths

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Had a few occasions whereby I could bring Huaihao out on a one-one date. And brought him to his favourite Burger joint.

I wonder if its the smaller space we are in, coupled with growing up hormones and aging ones as well, everyday in the house is like a Mars meet Earth kind of event.

I cant say there’s peace for sure, and more often than not, it starts from Huaihao disobeying or rather, Huaihao pushing for what he wants, in seemingly unreasonable ways to us.

How will this affect his system?

There are times Daddy maintained his cool, but in a few other times, definitely challenged by Huaihao. Smaller in size but so much stronger in force. He always said to Huaihao:”at 16 years old you get out of my life, i have enough of you”

Daddy has no qualms pointing out Huaihao is “the cause of it all”, of all unhappiness, I wonder how Huaihao thinks or feels.

Statements like these made me worried. How would this impact my Huaihao? Even though he is seemingly not bothered by it?

When Huaihao is beyond reason, which is often, Daddy when he cannot keep cool, blows his top, takes Huaihao by the hand and pulls him out of the house. Huaihao would be crying in fear and Qinzhi would rise to save her brother by scolding and shouting Daddy, “all you freaks! I want to kill myself”

I wonder how these will impact Qinzhi and Huaihao?

Will they even remember? What are all these fights for? seemingly born out of nitty gritty stuff?

As I was writing Qinzhi’s blog posts, Huaihao saw me writing and asked me why do I write?

I replied that this has been so, the very day I took an ultrasound photo in my gynae’s office and saw Qinzhi. I wanted to record down the things you two experienced , maybe somewhere down the road, when you happen to chance across these words, you would be able to perceive or visualise how Mommy is writing in the night, when all of you are asleep and the washing machine is calling out to me, the dryer doing its runs and turns.

Actually writing benefits me too much, it feels like I can let it go and don’t need to hold on to it—whether its a happy or unhappy event. So as much as this is for the kids, its also for me to reflect and make sense of what has happened in the family, to take stock.

And 2020 has gone in a whiff.

December is Qinzhi and Huaihao’s favourite month. The month they get presents from Santa—actually Daddy and they know. And from Gengyan jiujiu and Karyn jiejie plus Karyn’s dady who never fail to pamper them with a no budget Christmas outing with food and presents.

And more food and more presents.

To the extent that the children forget about the value of money and buy in excess and without a think. Such as picks like this and I gave them a lecture of course. I told Huaihao that if he did not respect money, money would not come to him. As with respect for any other

To create more quiet for Qinzhi to concentrate on her work, Huaihao also went out with Dad this holiday to run errands and bond and had his favourite Din Tai Feng and Tenjin.

Then Ah tin aye secured a staycay at MBS for 4 nights, we went for it despite a lot of crap and uneventful disputes with Huaihao. but got it sorted out because deep down, Daddy and Mommy didn’t want to disappoint—Qinzhi especially. We tried lots of food that we don’t normally do

I wanted to put a point on Huaihao’s exceptionally unreasonable behaviour these few days. Beyond reason, he kept pounding my hand with so much might when I tried to educate/chided him or disagreed with him.

We almost did not manage to come for the staycay at MBS and in the midst of it, there must have been ten times it almost ended in a whiff.

I believed in talking it out. And being a friend to my children. I always remembered what Mr Ng said “the children know. So talk to them.”

But I ended up raising an unreasonable kid who does not listen. What went wrong ? Was I too lenient? What would my mummy say if she were alive ?

Like in the midst of the staycay, he was so naughty daddy wanted to check out and I wanted to go home. It was Qinzhi who kept stopping us and asking us to talk to HuaiHao because we did not know how to manage him

And I was so so so angry this was the first time in 7 years I pulled his ears. He was so upset he cried. Can’t there be another way out? I asked

He finally apologized and I delivered the punishment of beating his palm three times.

But doing that brought me so much pain at heart. This episode made me feel that I was wrong to love him the way I did and I had to take responsibility for raising HuaiHao up this way

What if he grows up bad? And cause hurt to others? And ultimately to himself? It had never occured to me that my kids will turn bad.

After it all, at night before he slept, he climbed out of bed and wanted to touch my face and say, “only after that can I sleep.”

I wonder where and what went wrong. How do I address this? Do I still want to get upset or angry and experience the upheavals in emotion?

Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche, in a recent video says, “be creative ! when you have anger, use that as support for meditation.”

No doubt a way out, but not easy!

The other times he was good, we had a short walk while Qinzhi was having her tuition at MBS. Ever sensitive, he would hold my shopping bags and hold my hand. I could feel his little hands growing and warming me up.

I said to Huaihao, “its nice to hold your hand and not beat your hand.”

We then went to get presents, for Karyn’s Dad, Karyn and for Qinzhi. Huaihao said Qinzhi needed a black pen, and so we went to Muji to get it. Then he chose the Marvel T shirt for Karyn’s dad and drew a card for Karyn.

I love his doodles, look at the eyes!

I never thought that the day Huaihao challenged me would come so fast. And even if so, Huaihao has a way that would swiftly bring you back to him. Be good Huaihao, I wish you love and healthfulness, sincerely!

11 Years 10 Months

11 Years 10 Months

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Qinzhi is 11 years and 10 months old?

It seemed like yesterday that she’s entered primary one, it seemed like yesterday Qinzhi was born. Thinking of yesterday brought up lots of images of Qinzhi in my mind. Flashes of them.

And what a journey Qinzhi has taken.

Its the holiday season but Qinzhi is spending much time revising—in view of next year’s PSLE exams, and to make up for whatever she missed in your lower primary school days.

Sometimes seeing Qinzhi frustrated at revision made me stop and think. I can see that Qinzhi is trying her utmost. I asked if Qinzhi wants to repeat Primary 6 but she says she wants to go for the PSLE exams. And I told Qinzhi that if this is what she wants, Mom and Dad will do our utmost to support her. And we will do this together.

So that we did, Dad engaged Qinzhi a tutor, and enrolled Qinzhi in some online lessons, coincidentally Gary had the time to come tutor her twice. I pushed on with assessments everyday.

And I must say, this is one of the most busy—yet fulfilling holidays Qinzhi has. She is lazy and takes all the opportunities to laze around but I try my best to motivate her.

Sometimes I can feel that Qinzhi is trying her best not to be distracted and is frustrated at herself. Other times, she is frustrated at me.

A few times, she is lost in her thoughts. I wonder what Qinzhi must be feeling when I shout at her.

I wonder what is the stress Qinzhi feels at heart. Because she is such a perceptive child. One day, I told Qinzhi that Gor is going for knee surgery and at bed time we spoke again, Qinzhi burst out crying. She says that after what has happened to her school mate, she doesn’t want anyone else to go for surgery.

And what more, her popo or grandma, not her real one, but the very one who held her more precious than herself—– is going for one. She cried so hard her eyes swell the next day.

And this morning when Huaihao was naughty and made everyone lose our cool, Daddy has already pulled him out and it was Qinzhi who came to the rescue.

She can feel impending danger or when another feels threatened or in danger and responds like a saviour or Huaihao’s guardian angel.

I thought of myself. Haven’t I been in the role before?

In December, I convinced Qinzhi to go for a hair trim after all these years. She is still extremely fearful and I can see Qinzhi totally held backwards in fear.

I was like that once.

So so so much fear that I wasn’t moving. I saw myself in Qinzhi.

So I treated her to Burger Plus, not the most healthy but a treat and a steal this holiday. Then brought her to the salon. She tried new things, she had a hair wash, trim , blow and the stylist curled her hair.

This is probably one of the most satisfying hair trips she’s had. Before this, it was extremely traumatic to have her think about a hair salon.

The same day, we brought Qinzhi and Huaihao to the dentist to clean their teeth. The next day, Gengyan jiujiu brought Qinzhi and Huaihao for a daycation.

The next week, Karyn’s dad brought the kids to a pop up Jurassic Cafe and brought them presents. It was a once a year happy affair the kids looked forward to

QinZhi really wanted a staycay and ayi told Ah tin ayi and she redeemed 4 nights at MBS for us.

I really wanted to Qinzhi to have a holiday without work and we tried despite HuaiHao ‘s constant attempts to drive us nuts

We ate at new places and not what we would normally would, hoping that the new flavors and experiences would give her new sensations and emotions .

We spent a good day walking around orchard road and getting presents for yiyi popo and whoever Qinzhi has designated , using their own savings . I hope Qinzhi and HuaiHao learn to give back and appreciate the folks who love them.

And above all, I hope Qinzhi has a holiday of sorts even if she’s constantly challenged by HuaiHao and homework. She loves Huaihao so much she gets upset at for for reprimanding Huaihao even if Hao is in the wrong. She would say:”You do not how to handle Huaihao, get creative!”

And she would be so worked up you could feel the anger rising. I wonder if this is a good thing. At first I was worried, but more and more, I m beginning to take this positively, because she needed to let off steam. And because she did, afterwards she could talk to Huaihao and us like she always did without any kind of awkwardness.

Dear Qinzhi, whatever the case, take care of yourself first. I wonder why but I told you so so so many times, that you are so pretty, I encouraged you to tie up your hair, in a high ponytail, in a bun that would highlight your face. but you simply refused.

I wonder why?

Don’t you want to be beautiful?

Or do you think that you are not?

To mommy, you are precious, one and only, and I told you, that you have to learn to respect yourself, for if you don’t, no one else will.

Start loving yourself Qinzhi.

You are enough.

11 Years 9 Months

11 Years 9 Months

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Time is acting and I can see it the way Qinzhi grows into a teen. Pimples are popping out and the skin is getting shiny.

I see Qinzhi’s curves more and soon, she’ll be taller than me. She’s had her first taste of adulthood too experiencing the rite of the period.

Changes have been fast.

This month we continued to do sports on weekends.

We would walk to all sorts of places, like to Marina Bay and up the expressway.

We would walk to Tanjong Rhu and the stadium

After food, we would continue to scout for furniture.

Qinzhi did not do well for her end of year exams, passing only English. We asked Qinzhi if she wanted to repeat P5, but she didn’t want to. She wanted to go for the PSLE like her friends. And we are doing our best to support her.

Daddy went on zoom and purchased online tutorial packs, got a tutor for Qinzhi and we went to Popular to scout for assessment books.

We told Qinzhi, that we did not want ace results, we just wanted to work with Qinzhi to pass so that she did not have to spend extra time on the system.

Daddy was wise only to say that Qinzhi’s talent is being extremely perceptive and in the years ahead, this will be something precious as we stride into the world of Artificial Intelligence.

John said Qinzhi is a crystal child, a super crystal child. Extremely sensitive and perceptive and can feel immensely .

I had a go at that recently.

It was bedtime, and I went in to the kids bedroom, we chat . Huaihao asked what my mommy was like. I told him, Mommy cared for everyone else but herself.

And Huaihao went: “just like you.”

Qinzhi asked: “So did you daddy buy presents for your mommy?” I said not often.

To which Qinzhi replied, “so Dad must have inherited this from your dad because he seldom buys you presents too.”

I talked a little more about my mom. And Qinzhi who was in the dome for her usual routine, let out a cry.

I was surprised actually.

Perhaps I was fighting back my emotions, trying to keep it down, how much I still felt for mom.

These were apparent to Qinzhi obviously . I just couldn’t hide from her.

On the next afternoon, I had another fight with Huaihao. I almost couldn’t take it anymore and Qinzhi came out to help, disciplining her brother, “You should learn to cherish and treasure your mom do you even know?”

That’s Qinzhi.

I remember asking John recently, how to soothe Qinzhi’s temperaments, to which he said, “this is her, you cannot turn her into another person, but if she makes adjustments, she will be very successful in life.”

Qinzhi is that helpful and caring, when I was having an exchange with Huaihao’s teacher, she told me how impressed she was with Qinzhi, “Qinzhi really cares and protects for her brother a lot, she will come to class and remind her brother or tell me that he needs to hog to which gate during dismissal”

And I remember how Qinzhi would step up and protect Huaihao when he is naughty and angered his dad, who had no qualms about throwing him out of the house. Qinzhi fearing that her dad would, leapt out of bed and jumped to her brother’s defence, “Do you even know what time it is now? If you want to fight get out!”

That’s how she expresses her love for us.

She seemed to know when another person is in need of help. And she rises up to the occasion to save.

I see this trait in myself too . And I hope Qinzhi will do more to take care of herself or at least, do calculated moves.

And she must have done something wonderful , because she won the Character Champion title this year.

Qinzhi’s daddy says he just needs to help her get pass the benchmarks like PSLE and O’levels, and if there are ways to help her, he will go to these extents. Because he doesn’t care if she cannot do Math, but is mindful that we shouldn’t let kids go through the system which is made to serve propaganda and society’s needs—–but not the kid’s talent.

He feels that we should as parents, highlight and help her empathy and perceptive nature shine bigger brighter.

I m so glad and happy to hear of this wisdom.

So to celebrate her Character Champion award, (and this is the second one in primary school)—- I treated Qinzhi to Boba Tea, albeit a vegan version. And is so glad she likes it.

Intensifying efforts to get her on track for PSLE, we are starting this school holidays, but is mindful to not tip the balance and make playtime rest time.

By planning a time table.

And we also did not forget celebrations, this day, on ah mei ayi’s birthday. We had such a great chat with everyone at home and I m glad Qinzhi is comfortable speaking out her worries and fears to this circle of support.

Deep down, I have no doubts Qinzhi will succeed in life because of her kind nature, but in the process and in the system, we will still have to coach and push her so that she gets through.

Wishing you lots of light and love. May you be well and happy!

11 Years 4 Months

11 Years 4 Months

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My dear Qinzhi

I hear you sing and it is too precious. I texted daddy. Ah mei ayi, gengyan jiujiu, and said to them this: “Qinzhi’s singing is so precious ! I m so thankful we can bring her here from where she was! And it’s because of you all ”

It seems that you have really grown up.

And what is this supposed to mean?

Because Huaihao succumbed to high fever, Qinzhi decided to sleep on your own in your bed in your pinky room, although it was subtle, I felt a greater gap which came about to signify your faster than ever growing up as an individual. As we stop sleeping on the same bed, I begin to think of the times, I had to wake up almost every night to pick up the bolster you kicked off the bed, I recalled the times I had to wake up when your legs slanted and came over to my side

On on hindsight, it was Qinzhi’s way of telling me she wanted me badly——even in sleep. Even in sleep she wanted me very badly. I thought of the times I had to wake up to cover her in blanket each time she kicked them off.

And I woke up in the middle of the night to now open the door of her room, to check on her.

And this is exactly how every parent feels I guess, not daring to let go.

Anyway, in the holidays we had, Mommy made lots for Qinzhi and Huaihao . A friend sent us a past and pizza package, to make it fun, Mommy made lots you two could on to draw to decide who does the pizza and who makes the pasta, but in the end, both got to work on both pizzas and pastas! So, Yay!

Qinzhi is now a young lady, of her own already. And I could subtly feel how our communication has evolved. These nights I popped over to see her more, now that she is in her own room. The time when I did raindrop on Qinzhi was extremely precious, we chat about school, work, teachers, rainbow forest, everything. And when Qinzhi is in the dome, and whenever I asked questions, Qinzhi would use her toes to answer me, and we would both break out in laughter! So happy!

And I couldn’t be more thankful. And I expressed my appreciation for John who showed us the way to healing Qinzhi, and I couldn’t be more happy and grateful, that I had the opportunity and the privilege to quit to be with Qinzhi.

And because Mommy bought Ziyi and popo organic vegetables, Davina brought you some honey jelly ——–that’s the energy exchange inherent and essential to life. there is always an equal and opposite reaction, an echo to your actions.

Then we baked cookies n made more ice cream !

And Yiyi and popo bought Qinzhi’s favourite ——the ang ku kueh

And dumplings home made!

Yiyi and popo missed Qinzhi, whenever they called, Qinzhi would exclaim in joy, yi! po! I want to go to Pasir ris ! I miss your curry, I want to eat curry!

And that was what yiyi cooked, she cooked curry for qinzhi and lor bak with lots of quail eggs for hao. She prepared all the frozen mince meat , fish and scallops and got ah hao gorgor to send it all over. There’s even bao for huaihao in the red bean flavour he likes.

And at home, mommy cooked lots too, mommy did vegan pulled pork burger using the oyster mushroom, and did a vegan mayo, paired it with a keto ciabatta, vegan cheese and truffle chips!

I panfried tempeh and made a satay dip. I roasted veg of all colours, hoping to find something you and huaihao would like.

And you and Huaihao continued to build amazing houses, train houses etc with peculiar functions and stories.

Then you exercised on zoom with Gengyan and Karyn

In June, you would go to school in weeks 1 and 3, while HuaiHao goes to school on weeks 2 and 4, and it gives me lots of good time with you even if you are busy on zoom.

And you would enjoy so much the time at home, because “Mommy can babysit me” and because it was pretty relaxing, I slept while you zoom-ed, and you remarked that you were babysitting me.

That was so adult a statement to make, and it made me feel like I am indeed growing old and could do with some pampering from you, determined to soak up all the goodness you would shower upon me.

My dear, May you be well and happy! SO in love with you!

Realising Me xxiv: 21 Days of Abundance Day Two

Realising Me xxiv: 21 Days of Abundance Day Two

by yellownblac ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

Day 2

*Task*

*Write all of your debts in your notebook*

Debt on a bank account, credit cards, loans, debts to individuals, court debts – all of your debts, of any kind.

No need to record the amount, only to whom and for what.

O credit card

P credit card

Insurance to A

Insurance to O

Insurance to G

Insurance to N

Medisave contribution

Tax payment

Payment thru CPF for house

And after that make a list of all your monthly payments.

O credit card Jan – Dec

P credit card Jan- Dec

Insurance to A

Insurance to O

Insurance to G

Insurance to N

Medisave contribution

Tax payment

Payment thru CPF for house

YL purchases

Food purchases

Clothing for kids

Purchases for myself

Therapies

*Phrase*

*I create my personal abundance from an infinite source *

– – – –

*Mantra*

Aham Bramasmi

Aham Bramasmi

Answer the question, “What does abundance mean to you?” If you want, you can write the answer in your notebook.

Reflections:

Abundance to me, is

-effortless 取之不尽用之不竭

-freedom to tap from infinite source at all times

-effortless health, vitality, longevity, well being at all times

-happiness and joy without reason at all times

-peace and ease with our reason at all times

From the Audio recording: Inviting Abundance into your life needs just awareness, intention, silence

Open mind and heart to possibility of whatever you want in health and Abundance will flow to you

What would i like to have more of in my life:

-increased and improved awareness and intuition

-Expanded consciousness and therefore intuition

– improvement of understanding of life or truth with awareness and insight

-opportunities to be with great teachers and messengers or communicators of wisdom like the Rinpoches

– wonderful opportunities to express my gifts , whether it be in writing or to create videos or works to share light warmth give strength and let people discover

-create Great Health like never before: healing my keloids, Ca 19.9, cyst completely naturally

-create Peace Balance Love and Harmony like never before

-create Great relationships and connections like never before

-create Success and Wealth like never before

I create my personal Abundance from an infinite source