The colour in my face was not there

Qinzhi says I look so tired and that I m “done with life”

It’s an empty look

That even I got worried about

I was so empty and blanked out I couldn’t understand where or what went wrong

I tried to understand find out but just couldn’t

I was just emptied out

Was I in some kind of shock or did something grip me?

Did I shut myself down because I felt low and the cycle repeats?

I tried to anchor myself on Buddhist mantras and affirmations like looking in the mirror and saying I love you , I approve of myself

Sometimes there were realizations such as – this is another opportunity to train the mind and steer it to a firm standing

I was definitely thrown off course- how did I slip into this?

In everyday there are ups and downs and once again I see clearly for myself how the mind went off course and the body followed

And I know now what can help: meditation, simple qigong , moving the hands, shaking, running and walking in the sun, soaking the feet in sea water, hugging and kissing the kids, getting a hug and kiss from bf, watching k pop and

Sleeping

Sleeping is like a reset and I always wake up feeling better .

Breathe

Shower

Awareness actually

Actually – the simplest things anyone can do

To find back or come back to center

Then just now, after some movement, I had this voice which said- “ all this happened to remind you that you can heal yourself!”

Like a kind of cyclical repeat, these episodes of tired help me get into myself, and lets me find some kind of power I have stored in me. It happened again and again and each time I came out of it following an uplifting thought

I can heal myself – I can heal myself , this is the message tired brought me and reminded me of

And I asked, what and how. And I learnt to listen

These fatigued out low energy low esteem days and moments serve to let me know that I can snap out of them at will. And only I

And so can you

I m well and all is safe. Out of this only good will come. I am always divinely protected and guided, always traveling in the best direction .

And so it is. You too, wherever you are. For the very simple reason, life loves you.

The day after – on a bus, I heard a voice go- who says tired is bad? What is the value you attach to tired that made it worse?

We tend to have certain ideas about things and these may be the exact things that might not serve us

So free the self from concepts notions ideas attachments and experience greater space and freedom