Tag: awareness

Feeling The Divine

Feeling The Divine

by yellownblac ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

Do you think/know/feel there is a greater/bigger hand up there with a plan?

If so, what is the relationship with this hand?

I kind of was asking myself the question a lot of late

Quite a number of people around me talks about a divine a god a creator who has a plan for us all. But this isn’t something you get to know by instructional knowledge. It’s something you feel for more than anything else.

2 days back as I was walking towards my hairstylist’s , I thought to myself , what plan is in place and is getting curious.

“I must be following your plan right? I heard myself say. There must be a reason for this.” As I m walking it. I mean I kept seeing these numbers 1111, 222,1221, 1414

Content around Angel numbers say these are messages from the guardian angels and it means you are guided . I sometimes wonder what is the path

This morning in my run, I asked what god or the divine wanted me to know right now.

And I asked myself to open up to this run.

And the response that came back was, “ let go”

I realized how much of a control I am and how things were tough because I exerted control or wanted to control. And how things changed whenever I let go.

For when we have the idea to control, we are using our limited awareness, capabilities capacities to reach something . And that could a diversion or a thwart to the bigger plan.

We close off all other possibilities when we have the eye or mind for just one. The world becomes smaller and we coop ourselves there

While it’s not difficult to see this, it can be complex when we want to practice this . The habitual pattern of clinging and wanting to do something is often called out . And with the reinforced habits of having controlled, it’s way easier to choose control over letting go again

On another note as I ran, I tried to feel for my core and found something propelling me. That’s what beneath the breath, the support for my breath. The only thing I really have. That’s life force or divinity — that which is always propelling me forth.

ITS there!

I try to keep all else away but that in my awareness and to feel it . It is always with us, but with all perceptions beliefs values emotions …layered upon it ,

How many times have we heard—- that we are expressions of the divine and how the divine is in us ?

And do we believe this or know this? To establish this knowing , I think- start feeling. Just feel.

Ad Astra

Ad Astra

by yellownblac ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

Watched Ad Astra on board and Brad Pitt was flying to the moon 

Then it came to me- that I forgot my dream

That I forgot to dream

That is the crux and where and how things went off 

What is my dream?

As I breathed in light from Guru Rinpoche , I tried to find my center rather than concentrate on the doubts

Where is my center?

I tried to feel it

Where?

Where?

It’s like – what and where is my rock ?

It’s what is in front of me

It’s being with my precious family whom me and my husband have built and making it healthy, safe, well, full of love and beauty

It is to connect first with myself , my family then outwards

It is to get at or arrive at the heart center , the tender parts people hide- with them together 

It is to fetch out voices from the heart that they may not even know

Dear divine, show me the way to this

Coming to this point is bringing me to tears

It’s bittersweet 

How many moments have I got to go through to come here at this point- to know my dream my talent my purpose 

My meaning 

It is to get out these voices deep in the heart 

Knowing this brought my happiness and great joy and reduces me to the kneel 

Something inside me shook and defrost 

I’m happy 

It is great great happiness knowing this is what I really want to do. And it doesn’t matter if I m not there yet or that I do not know how to do this

I just know I will and I will be doing this amazing work- bringing out voices of the hearts and to be a part of this process , holding space for another 

Just by listening and asking questions, just being/be doing this 

I come back stronger focused on this work I want to do going forward and I ask the divine for all the support all the inspirations and all the light that I need on all fronts on this path 

And I m home

There’s this question Brad Pitt put out after his father broke off the bond . He asked, “ why keep trying? Why go on?”

Why I asked myself too

Why?

Because I believe there is something larger than life I m in awe of 

Something larger than myself something larger than what I have what I see that I want to go closer to

And the start of it all would be listening in and listening to the voices of the hearts 

These voices speak of the magnificence the very magic of life 

Brad Pitt ends the movie with this, 

“ I m unsure of the future but I m not concerned. 

I will rely on those closest to me

And I will share their burdens as they share mine 

I will live and love

Submit”

And so it is, om!

Amen!!

Let’s start by imbuing each moment with awareness to experience and then expressing the beauty and magic of it.

Beautiful Practice To Start A New Day

Beautiful Practice To Start A New Day

by yellownblac ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

Intent Influences Outcome

At the very beginning of each day or each meditation, you tell the universe what you want.

Focus on your life, your goals and life purpose, telling your body what you want, and have a beautiful image of yourself and what kind of life you want to live. Then you can send a message to the universe.

What kind of image do you see of the world you want to live in?

What is your purpose? What do you want to accomplish?

What is your intention?

Make your purpose clear.

Submit your message in the light while meditating

Feel the essence of your message

Let go of any fears and doubts

After that, you solely focus on the moment.

Feeling how good you feel.

Feeling the tingling sensations in your hands, in your body, seeing light in your body, and focus on that!

Once you put yourself in the ‘Oneness’ you trust the energy and trust the messages you receive. Trust the intelligence within you.

Too much analytical thinking may stop your inner wisdom from surfacing

In the quietness you breathe slowly, gently, and deeply. You help yourself to wake up the intelligence in the body.

You receive these messages to help you fix the wrong information in the body.

It is a process of cleansing, so a lot of people cry and they feel peaceful at the same time; they feel lots of emotional experiences, again, just let it be and allow it to happen. It is a process of detoxifying. When you open all this old information and messages get cleared out, health is going to restore back your life.

This is why having a purpose when practicing Spring Forest Qigong is important, regardless what your purpose is; for healing or for relationship, or for higher vibration. When you have a purpose, the Qi, is automatically directed to support your purpose.

Many Blessings,
Chunyi Lin

Can we? Just Be

Can we? Just Be

by yellownblac ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

Even if I knew how to spell relax, I only got a hint of what it really meant or felt like recently.

I didn’t know how to (do) relax

Helena has been coming to do healing for me. Each time before she starts she does the pendulum check on my energy centers

The first time she did, my crown and third eye area showed no movement. The pendulum stood still – even if there was wind in the room

After the session though, the pendulum showed wild swings

But this effect would not last as the time before the next session, I would go back to my own old ways of thinking , falling backwards

Healing is a process . You go a few steps forward and backwards forwards and backwards

I asked Helena what she actually did

She said it’s actually just setting the intentions for me to receive divine light and guidance and that most importantly I relaxed

I thought about relaxing and relaxation

Each time, soon after she started, I would really just fall, fall into sleep

There was a let off let go hands off mind off because I trust her

The doing was release, detach

There was no holding on

Just surrender – not even

Allow

Be

In relaxation, there is no doing. Just being just flowing. And seeing where the flow brings (to) you

The feeling is like becoming empty again and you become a conduit for the flow

And letting the divine do the work

Interestingly a few times after the session , I got calls regarding work

And I asked Helena how do I keep the wonderful effects after each session of balancing

And her words were that daily maintenance is absolutely necessary- daily meditation

And this post came about because I was in my daily meditation and was checking in on myself- was I relaxing into meditation?

How to get into that state of relaxation

How to tap into that power of relaxation?

When I was walking, I asked myself to just be. I used to ask the sun for healing for inspiration for light for energy

Just BE

There is nothing else to do but anything else is but ego

And now I ask if there is a need for this, to dictate and enforce my thoughts on something natural

When I shower, is there a need eto intend for a cleansing or is it enough to just be in it?

How cool is this learning?!

Can we- just BE?

Running / Walking (xvi)

Running / Walking (xvi)

by yellownblac ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

Ron gave me the St Benedict medal. Sasha asked khenpo dorje to do a divination and the reply was that “u hv a astral flotsam attached. Not too serious but definitely disembodying. U ll be fine!💐🌺🌸💐🌺🌸”

And Sasha’s advice was

“Yes these entity-things can try to drain yr energy & shape-shift around u … so u r probably feeling what its feeling! They r like giant mosquitoes that inject their own emotions & drain yr energy. The practice is to Be Yourself as much as u can.Really they can be easily removed”

The practice is to be yourself

Well I was searching for myself – and for that matter , searching really hard of late. And this learning had to come to really drive me down to getting every wee bit of mySELF out

I used to be a really sensitive child

My nanny would say, if people wanted to share red eggs celebrating a baby’s full month of being, and they showed the eggs in my face I would cry non stop or get a fever

I recall having lots of talisman burned waters in my childhood

That day when I shared this with Helena, she said, “ maybe this is the real you but out of fear you blocked it- and blocked everything out. But maybe you could use this in a way to help yourself and others. Learn to shield yourself and take only what you need. Practice !”

She asked me，” actually what are you afraid of ?”

Now as I try make sense of it – The feeling is almost as if fear is part of me. I have grown so accustomed to it it constitutes my identity

But really – what is TPY like without fear? Who can she be?

I told Sasha I must be at a low and she agreed because “that ll be when they attach Positivity has a kind of natural buoyant energetic protection.Low thins out the energy …”

I know.

And I learned a lot about myself from this episode

The message that came through in the run was “ you asked for expanded consciousness didn’t you?”

Yes I did and this is one instance where my consciousness is expanded and can feel a bigger spectrum

But like Helena said, be conscious and learn to shield yourself from anything that affects you

Like Sasha said, “ be yourself”

As a child, I was always carrying a lot of fear, I was afraid of the dark and mysterious . I always had my imagination wild and created more fear because of that- estranging myself further from reality

Carried by fear carried in fear, I lost myself.

Totally lost it.

Ula said,” i guess you need love to you & your family..bcz i think you had lose some feel of love”

I asked for the reason of my existence and 2 days before we went to the beach in the evening

I was happied out. I haven’t felt that simple joy outwards from the heart in a long time

Seeing how the kids had fun and played with water with bf, I got my answer.

These folks in front of me are my reason. I thanked the universe for hearing me and replying back to me

And today after my run, I saw bf bathed in the sun walking towards me

He is my reason – that boy who loved me loves me knows me through and through and anchors me

And interestingly this time, with the knowing of the divination, I kind of felt quite at peace

I told myself to create a lot of space – when the space becomes really big, anything in that is dwarfed in smallness

And I drew notes from my learnings from Tibetan Buddhism practice- awareness. Just be aware

Sometimes I felt so sad and HuaiHao asked me, why are so so sad? I don’t have an explanation for him

Sasha said I could be feeling not me

And I was actually chanting a lot and dedicating the merits outwards feeling a lot of compassion for other beings and being grateful that I m in a position to chant and dedicate

I know that I did not do anything wrong and so I will be safe and protected

Most of all each time I trust the divine and protection is with me, I get goose bumps

In all of this practice, patience and openness is helpful. I recall all the Angel numbers that I kept seeing: 11:11 444 12:12 and the like , apparently it is a sign that I m travelling on the right path

Even at my level when things felt so out of place I kept seeing these

I suck out the very essence of light in me to venture forward. I trust that I can heal myself I trust and have faith in my own light

And I m most thankful I have so many supportive circles around me and most of all, I have Guru Rinpoche and all these wonderful mantras to anchor on

And, and -the sun was brilliant today. Sharing it with you.

Heal at Will

Heal at Will

by yellownblac ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

The colour in my face was not there

Qinzhi says I look so tired and that I m “done with life”

It’s an empty look

That even I got worried about

I was so empty and blanked out I couldn’t understand where or what went wrong

I tried to understand find out but just couldn’t

I was just emptied out

Was I in some kind of shock or did something grip me?

Did I shut myself down because I felt low and the cycle repeats?

I tried to anchor myself on Buddhist mantras and affirmations like looking in the mirror and saying I love you , I approve of myself

Sometimes there were realizations such as – this is another opportunity to train the mind and steer it to a firm standing

I was definitely thrown off course- how did I slip into this?

In everyday there are ups and downs and once again I see clearly for myself how the mind went off course and the body followed

And I know now what can help: meditation, simple qigong , moving the hands, shaking, running and walking in the sun, soaking the feet in sea water, hugging and kissing the kids, getting a hug and kiss from bf, watching k pop and

Sleeping

Sleeping is like a reset and I always wake up feeling better .

Breathe

Shower

Awareness actually

Actually – the simplest things anyone can do

To find back or come back to center

Then just now, after some movement, I had this voice which said- “ all this happened to remind you that you can heal yourself!”

Like a kind of cyclical repeat, these episodes of tired help me get into myself, and lets me find some kind of power I have stored in me. It happened again and again and each time I came out of it following an uplifting thought

I can heal myself – I can heal myself , this is the message tired brought me and reminded me of

And I asked, what and how. And I learnt to listen

These fatigued out low energy low esteem days and moments serve to let me know that I can snap out of them at will. And only I

And so can you

I m well and all is safe. Out of this only good will come. I am always divinely protected and guided, always traveling in the best direction .

And so it is. You too, wherever you are. For the very simple reason, life loves you.

The day after – on a bus, I heard a voice go- who says tired is bad? What is the value you attach to tired that made it worse?

We tend to have certain ideas about things and these may be the exact things that might not serve us

So free the self from concepts notions ideas attachments and experience greater space and freedom

Running/Walking (xi)

Running/Walking (xi)

by yellownblac ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

I always intended before I started walking or running. To use the practice ahead to expand on my consciousness, to open my mind further . To reconnect with my body, my self——- seemingly brainless or basic things but really it’s not that easy after all.

But as always on me time, inklings always come about.

(I) Like

One day I asked TPY what does she like? And the responses came.

我喜欢被感动，然后去感动别人

我喜欢发现，喜欢新，喜欢去发掘新奇的东西

可能别人会错过的

我喜欢做别人的眼睛，帮别人去发现发掘出来美

In essence, I found out that it’s not so much writing that I liked but discovering the new and seeing how I act on it or react to it. I like to look ahead and watch out for new things and to find the connection with it

(II) Open Up Show Up

On another day, I asked myself why do I need my shield of keloids and it dawned on me that at a certain point in my life, when life rained on me, I felt like I was not able to receive or manage already and so I put up my hands to block

And block all of life I did. The keloids when dad left and mom passed on. Then when Qinzhi experienced epilepsy —— and now writing this made me understand how I put a shield on my navel with the cyst!

When I felt how life was throwing things at me and I was overwhelmed and how life isn’t working for me

I put things up as a shield

And H did send me Louise Hay’s interpretation of a cyst

“Cysts: Running the old painful movie. Nursing hurts. A false growth.
Cystic Fibrosis: A thick belief that life won’t work for you. “Poor me.”

And I took the chance to tell TPY – I do not need to shy away from life and it’s offerings anymore. I affirmed the circle of support I have and once again worked at feeling openness.

I need not hide from life- at all.

I affirm that I enjoy success prosperity vibrant great health and energy amazing fulfilling wholesome relationships

I affirm I am in the flow and always travelling in the best direction

I want to experience openness and success like never before

(III) Breathe

On another day when it rained as I was running, I was more desperate trying to anchor myself on my breath than escaping the rain. When it rained on, the voice in me grew louder : stay with the breath, stay. Move the body not the mind. Stay with the breath, feel it. And that was the gateway or link to the present. Not worries about the rain or getting rained on.

(IV) Yoga

I kind of am reconnecting back to yoga and is intrigued by the things the instructor says during the lesson

Such as- don’t do the pose let the pose do you.

Such as, let the yoga begin now

Such as, we see more when we feel more

The purpose of doing so much is to go in

As the pose gets a bit more intense, find a place to get comfortable . Adjust. Stay with the breath. Move the breath. Move the body not the mind

Find a place for the breath, where it hasn’t been before

And I see squirrels, eagles, birds and know – all is well.

If anything, find all ways to be connected with the self. And always , always come back to centering the self- or the breath.

No matter how hard it is raining. Ot what you see, hear, feel. Come back to the breath.

Pent Up Anger (I)

Pent Up Anger (I)

by yellownblac ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

When the spray was on the keloid

It was slightly prickly

And it dawned upon me that a prickly itch or pain is actually pleasurable

And the next question was: why was I looking for pain and creating it?

Why did I want to do with this pain or itch?

To punish myself ? To seek some form of comfort and release in this pain?

What did I do wrong to punish myself this way…？

Who inserted this paradigm into me? That if something wrong was done , you punish yourself to redeem yourself

Was this to punish myself for not keeping to the rules of having a family before signing off the ceremonial marriage ?

Do I really have to if I loved my partner who loves me in turn ?

Isn’t that a natural thing to do if both are madly in love?

Even if this was a wrong, haven’t I punished myself enough?

Must I really act so forcefully on myself? Judging myself within such tight confines of how I have been brought up ? Carelessly and mindlessly living yesteryear rules ?

Even grandma was so happy for me and no one said anything! But I ! In the end I was and have been bearing the load of this

Unwilling to let it go

This is such a lesson for me

What really am I angry with or dissatisfied with myself?

For not being perfect?

How is having a baby out of love not perfect?

And I must be crazy to be thinking this way

But my baby taught me so much. She taught me how to be a mother and to breast feed. She taught me how to cook and how to protect someone. She taught me so much more about me than anyone else

She taught me how to get in touch with me and to acknowledge myself

If anything my baby was the one who was instrumental in my evolution culminating in the person I m today

If anything , I m the work of my baby

And instead of celebrating , I erroneously and mindlessly went in the opposite direction hitting at myself for a lost cause upheld by a less than wise view

If anything, I want to apologize to my baby and to myself for holding these reins on myself

For she must have felt it too.

I forgive myself and release itself from these reins that I have been holding on to. I forgive also others who have been involved in the process in any way. I no longer need these in my life as I lovingly embrace life going forward stepping into the new.

We (have) moved

We (have) moved

by yellownblac ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

I went to bed seeing a clear sky and an occasional plane heading towards Changi.

I woke up in the middle of the night and saw the moon to my left. That was at 430am

What joy! Immense joy at that!

I went back to bed telling my husband about it. How magical is that?

There’s movement in (seemingly) stillness

And we have moved so much so far along. Why are we still carrying whatever baggage on us?

Drop it already. Whatever —— has passed us by! Drop it drop it drop it!!

We are already in the new. The now.

At 630am when we rose, the moon went further right till I had to bend to see it. But in its place when I saw it at 430am, Mars the red planet was there.

I told huaihao about it and showed him the celestial objects using the app. And he could tell me more. Like Jupiter being super gaseous and has 3 moons and experiences super typhoons. Surprised why he knows and remembers, he says he reads and shows me the book.

So in love with this morning!

So much wisdom in nature! Thank you, give me more 😊