From the Dalai Lama

From the Dalai Lama

by yellownblac ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

Ancient Indian tradition describes the creation, abiding and destruction of worlds over time. Among the causes of such destruction are armed conflict and disease, which seems to accord with what we are experiencing today. However, despite the enormous challenges we face, living beings, including humans, have shown a remarkable ability to survive.

No matter how difficult the situation may be, we should employ science and human ingenuity with determination and courage to overcome the problems that confront us. Faced with threats to our health and well-being, it is natural to feel anxiety and fear. Nevertheless, I take great solace in the following wise advice to examine the problems before us: If there is something to be done—do it, without any need to worry; if there’s nothing to be done, worrying about it further will not help.”

https://www.dalailama.com/news/2020/a-special-message-from-his-holiness-the-dalai-lama

“

. It will be an interesting time.

. It will be an interesting time.

by yellownblac ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

Teacher checked on me and thought of me.

Reading his messages softened my body. The. I knew how tense I have been. Sometimes awareness works this way. My face relaxed and then I knew the power of him.

I asked myself: How can I make people soften up when I say something? And feel warmth and happiness? And relax and feel peaceful ? How do I make these big little things work this way?

It’s by really practicing awareness. Being mindful. I wanna try.

I will try!

Coincidentally or—-perhaps not, PM Lee was going live to say that SG will be practicing tougher measures in a bid to break the circuit in view of increasing local transmissions. It seemed like everyone has been waiting for this announcement. So workplaces are ordered to shut unless they provide essential services, there will be no dine-ins and only take aways, schools will start home based learning for a month starting next wednesday.

Qinzhi says, “Huh, what are we going to do at home?”

Huaihao says, “But you dont have to get up at 6am now”

I said I m stuck with them or one full month now, and they concur. What do we do? Besides going on holiday, I didnt think we have had the chance to stick together 24hours like that for as long as 1 month.

It will be an interesting time.

Teacher says of his experience in Switzerland who has been in this state already till april mid, “So additionally to have to face oneself, the daily negative news, the survival and payment of bills, causes great exisitencial anxieties.

I’m sure your contribution and efforts will be of benefits for many. This difficult times have also a good side, they bring people together and solidarity and support in the most unexpected places.

Please take very good care of your self. The Ego wants a quick and easy solution, but the soul and heart are going deeper, questioning ourselvs, face our demons to understand and accept ourselves to to bloom and realise ourselves. You are on the right path.

Just be kind to your self.“

This called out to me, its like staring at me from the Whatsapp chat and letting me inspect myself. Many times, I considered others first, its been such a habit already. Like when I was busy these few days, I just didnt have the patience, I prioritised something else over myself.

I was still the old.

How can I busy myself and yet be aware and mindful and love without the tension I have been so used to?

Perhaps not letting off the self care element or time for myself not relegating myself to the lower is key

Even just revisiting “who is precious” is key.

I wrote back to thank Teacher and he said, “Happy to hear you. It will be an interesting time. We are in this situation since 17.3. until 19.4. The population is following it despite spring time and raising temperatures. Daily walks and exercises to stay sane and get movement. Otherwise it is not a problem. Although not for everyone.

If and when you have time at hands, I would thrilled to immerse into your journal.

In the meantime please remember and don’t (forget) who is the most precious and needs to be treated with love, compassion and respect!”

It will be an interesting time.

Feels like he is in the future already and telling me about what he saw, telling me about a pathway . Then i wondered about the pink flower bloom he sent me, where is it? In the future too?

With community infections on the rise and seeing how COVID-19 is crumbling the world and breaking it all down, there is a part of me however———which is silently finding this difficult time liberating— I am still trying to find a way to explain this because I m just about grasping this obscure feeling and not quite able to comprehend totally with my mind yet—- but I ‘ll try here:

I feel this earth breaking time is very liberating, literally, I see soil, earth shattering and breaking up. I see it echoes in the processes I have gone through —— they are in me.

Unearthing of lousy unwholesome practices for a start.

There’s also defiance and outright reactions from people stemming from primate behavior or intuition ——- in response to authorities such as when there is panic buying

But on the other end, there’s also so much love and devotion coming out from ground up initiatives and in the people who are stepping forth

All in all, so much uprooting of norms, structures, organisations, practices, habits, systems.

I see how rules no longer rule, systems can no longer satisfy, lies can no longer lie, that which has been put in place due to any other intentions but right ones, swiftly shaken off.

Here’s when what we know due to learned processes and experiences what we rely on all these years and learnings in culture education etc can not help us. We shrug them off

Who has a solution? Who will help? There’s a limit to what government friends society community can do. Everything is flattened , beaten, in shackles, broken.

Cleaned out. Detoxed.

It is when things come to a standstill

As if to help us start on a clean slate.

A lot of people do not know what to do.

Do I ?

I feel it’s a bit blurry but there’s something in there I can experiment with.

Whatever it is, it is such a mighty invitation from the universe first and foremost, to be responsible. To take charge to take the lead.

I did not like responsibilities. I had to take on so many that was beyond me when I was younger.

But life’s experiences tell me I cannot run away from what I fear. And indeed I come back to them. If I didn’t know what to do for qinzhi when I was pregnant, if I didn’t “see” her then, I came back to her now. And when I do, there is resolution when I see her now.

Often, we shift the responsibility to others, or to another time, we tend to do this, dont we? Until it becomes urgent.

We choose not to show up.

Like in my own life, I do a lot of this too.

And now, the situation is inviting us to be responsible for ourselves. Its a time when not even authorities or governments know what to do.

And the onus is on us to show up for ourselves and to find a way out.

Because what works for others may not work for us.

I look at a sector I m helping out with, and see people pushing for more help from authorities, and also, doing their best to circumvent and transform alongside newly made rules to save their entities.

I m slightly worried. I think some would be able to tide over, but at most, a lot of actions are reactive.

We desperately need (to make) the new. Completely revolutionary ideas, norms, pushed forward by new perspectives, attitudes.

This IS exactly the time to build. I sniff newness, novelty, possibilities unthinkable of in the past, emerging and really really——a small green shoot emerging.

Energy —- primal energy that cannot be kept down any longer and wanting to rise.

Inviting you to break out of the old shell, be daring, be novel, be fresh, be everything opposite of what has been in place, or you have been doing,

BE EVERYTHING but the past.

BE FEARLESS about your own AUTHENTICITY.

And I know why I find this time liberating now, I see resonance in this process alongside my own.

If I didnt feel confident enough, If I m seeing that if my process is difficult all along, I m seeing how people alongside me are struggling with this and not even having any awareness of this evolution yet .

This great chance to transform. To change things to make a difference

I have come to understand that help given from the outside is at most, just relief. It is change from the inside that will be open up new grounds.

Somehow somewhere, sometime, we will have to look inwards and dig inside to find that light —the very stuff we are made of.

And to share it outwards with our most authentic voice, use it in our lives, our community our businesses.

Honestly, I cant wait to deliver and find a new way, a new logic system, a new norm, a new practice, a new perspective at looking at the old, one that can be better or make us better than the past.

And one borne not out of greed, but because of a great value, rooted in kindness, in goodness.

One borne out of light and wonder, of love and displaying all the magic I have amassed.

Using all the intuition I have.

Speak the language of your ❤️

Speak the language of your ❤️

by yellownblac ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

If there’s anything, I learnt that learning to speak from the heart is the least we can do if we really want to be at peace with ourselves.

There are times when we hear something, but do not voice it out due to a myriad of reasons. And we know something isnt quite right there.

I remember when I started in my career and attended press conferences, even when I felt like I needed to, I didnt ask the questions I heard in my heart —-out of shyness. Or thinking mine isnt a valuable one to bring to the table.

Later on and countless times in life, in face of making decisions, I heard voices that sang out my true feelings, but I simply did not heed it. I used my rational mind instead.

How many other times there are, that I am not even aware and do not hear that voice in the heart.

But I am beginning to see a few things now:

-i/we have that voice

-that voice truly truly tells us what we feel

-its so important to be aware of it

-its so important to acknowledge it, we will have to give it space and respond organically and truthfully to it

-its so important that we say it out, because for all we know, we might be the only one to hear it from the Universe

-and when we choose not to hear it, ignore it, we are not flowing with what the Universe intends in a way

Light

Light

by yellownblac ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

This, a most magical moment I got to savour in the everyday when I walk back home after sending the kids to school.

So much so that I told my husband, if we were to move, the next house must have morning light come in.

Standing in front at this spot, to breathe in all the light.

You too, I hope light will find you, wherever you are, whenever you need.

Om

Realizing Me xix

Realizing Me xix

by yellownblac ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

When I said the Gokai, today I looked at it with improved vision and understanding.

The question is who is “I”

I read this countless times in buddhist books.

The concept of I and how the explanation goes that we are made of all these little cells and atoms and where can you find I , the ego and how the I just now is different from the I now etc

I read about those but its all theoretical, understanding using analysis or the mind.

And I find myself trying to feel who is “I”, locating it and not really able to find it

And liking this way of understanding or approaching things much more. For it shows that I am exploring another perspective of looking at something

Who is I and where is I?

Is it in my heart or in my mind or locked up somewhere? Is it in the body or in the soul? Does it include I in the past since we are all an accumulation of habits and experience? If it means so, does it mean I will go on forever and never “die”?

Realising Me xviii

Realising Me xviii

by yellownblac ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

Today in my self reiki session, the nerve or ligament or vein at my right neck was vibrating for like 30sec , it just kept on. Is this a muscle spasm or energy going through?

I tried to find out by experiment

So I said, now , lets work on the left shoulder, and i felt energy go there, then keloid! then cyst!

And felt for myself how the mind-body connection works.

I breathed in fresh air, light to these parts and I remembered what I wrote down: “can i love myself like how I do to my kids?”

I felt for myself what it is like to smile love at these parts, the keloids at my chest, the cyst , the big keloid

I most closely associate the keloid at my chest with the memory of the time I got back from nanny’s into my own home, that period when dad was going through or has gone through surgery, memory of visiting him at the hospital, memory of us moving out of our cosy home to ah ma’s home with my aunties and uncles, that time mommy was pregnant with brother

the feeling of uprootedness , totally unearthed and lifted off the ground

At nanny’s I was shielded and protected all the while and to the max, they cherished me like their own ———even till today

come to think of it, the keloids took note of this uprooting event, the first in my life

I find myself putting my consciousness there and breathing it, thanking it, “its been hard on you! thank you for the inspiration” and i visualised my chest without the keloids.

This keloid has been with me since primary 3, 

You can go now as I have heard you

Then the big keloid,

The memory I most closely associate it, is in my teens, when my family is uprooted yet again

 Dad left, that was major

Then Mom, that was catastrophic

Totally uprooted from earth and thrown into the universe dont know where

Then departures of uncle and auntie

That was shattering

My skin took note of these events in a way that was harsh even to itself too

The keloid has been shouldering this for like ten plus years, mom passed away in 2002 

Then the cyst

I find myself linking it to Qinzhi and her traumatic episodes of seizures

Then my relationship with my husband

Just thinking this, made my face tighten

I was conscious that my eyes felt different just coming to this point

What is it?

We made up but not really yet. 

I said I wanted a proper apology and a letter of reflection

There are still stuff that needs working and processing on

I think I was tired of it all, thoroughly disappointed that my expectations are still not met, feeling like the leopard never changes its spots, yet wanting so much to spurn change in my marriage

Deep down, I guess I still wanted to make it work 

I was angry yes and still is, that things came this way and frustrated that he didnt know how to appreciate me

So angry

Then I sent light and air there and saw how these are dispersing the cyst

What is it I want?

I want the love like we started. When I was cherished like a pearl on an oyster

These parts recorded the most important events of my life.

I also asked the divine to give me all the love and light i need to embrace the past and future and energy to work on the present

Today when I showered I changed one thing, instead of asking the water to cleanse me of all that doesnt support me

I asked it to give me all the healing, all the energy, all the light all the cleansing that I need

And of late, I have been using visualisation

Visualising the big keloid gone and the skin totally baby like

and I could see my navel in full again

then the keloids at my chest—gone

These few days, Huaihao wanted my full attention and was telling me about his lego creations and I asked him how he does it?

He says its imagination 

So I get reminded to work my visualisation.

Teachings from Covid 19

Teachings from Covid 19

by yellownblac ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

I find myself reflecting a bit more about the current pandemic.

I think because I have been on the right path, whether it be keeping myself my mind, or diet. I did not feel excessive fear or anxiety, I was slightly still balanced.

But seeing how businesses industries and lives have crumbled called me to think again. What does this episode in humanity really mean or want me to do?

  • Reverence for nature, tuning into it and cocreating with it
  • Go inside : With cities and countries slowing down activities, flights grounding, schools stopping, people are going home. Lots of people in dense populated cities stay out more due to the small spaces trey live in. They spend a good time outside of their homes, eat outside, work outside. This action of coming in works both ways, its going back to the home front for our daily activities and its also going back to our home in the body, our mind our hearts our soul. Is it any coincidence that I am unravelling so much of my life ‘s experiences now? Not so
  • Live on what you need : With resources tightening and importation and logistical difficulties, when I used to be more generous cooking, I made sure I did what is adequate now or slightly less than what I think is sufficient. To cut wastage and also to ensure that we eat just what is required, use what is required and there is no wastage. Seeing stores that have empty shelves is impactful and seeing people working to replenish is even more impactful. I m grateful to have my organic vegetables and even more that my family can still eat well. A broccoli 🥦 means more now.
  • Not taking for granted and appreciating what we have
  • Responsibility as a citizen of my country and a citizen of the world: I did not feel any strong sense of connection to my homeland unless it was national day and I would feel slightly more as a kid when we celebrated in school. But not so much as an adult. But grounding as Mr Ng has shared with me, is something important to feel. Its about presence and rooting and thats where you can branch out and fan out. We become slightly more sensitive to people around us as we reinspect socially responsible behaviours and what isnt. Then at a broader level, recognising how these actions affect the world and the earth as cross borders movements come to a standstill .
  • How can we help: My involvement in efforts to support the local food industry made me realise that I can still give and offer effort. Even if I m not actively working now. So it’s not about positions. It’s willingness. And being involved in it made my heart beat. I liked that a lot, I havent felt that for a long time. Its that warmth and excitement, and wanting to put in more, cant wait to get this done feeling.
  • Open mindedness Flexibility and Thinking Out of the Box: What else can we do?Like Singapore’s just announced that taxi drivers can now take the role of delivery. Everything is possible when we have open mindedness and willingness. Rules are meant to be broken.
  • Connectedness: all borders seem to have faded into nothingness as we find ourselves more or less connected in our experiences now. We used to know that what we do have impacts on others, we dont see it then but see it now
  • Connections: Connectedness and helping people simply with what connections we have amassed, using these connections beneficially such as by moving people around to reduce losses and help areas which need most
  • Never Give Up: I m already thinking of how to ride the curve when we go upwards. How much more we can do when we recover.
  • Ride the Flow: Mental balancing to keep pace and be on the flow
  • Intuition: After all, it is not rules or advice from authorities in any way that will help us most, but that we need to rely most on our intuitive good self to feel the way and to find a way out for ourselves, our family our greater society or community.
  • New norms: Like a cleaner, the pandemic is cleaning out systems mindsets, practices, habits that does not work for nature and for society and is telling humanity exactly this. What doesnt work will have to make way as we evolve and for greater good.
  • Lets try and get a go at this.

Together, we are better.

The Problem IS THE Solution

The Problem IS THE Solution

by yellownblac ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

I love my teacher!

And he is here.

COVID-19 Message

There are so many interesting points that can be lifted from the video.

And the ones which call out to me most:

-Life is suffering and acceptance (of it earlier than later might make it easier for all )

-The Problem is the Solution=Transform

What an inspiration! If only we contemplated this, much earlier, much deeper and apply our life’s experiences.

-Never Give Up

-Not too tight; Not too loose

-Dedicate

Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche is one of the most important teachers I have met in my life. I remember attending one of his retreats at least 10 years ago. And when I went forward to receive blessings, I cried and cried and cried uncontrollably.

He was one of those who let me magically experience the powerful emotions of acceptance and what that can feel like.

We all know these emotions but can we feel them?

He made me feel them. Gratitude towards life and having myself. Acceptance of the past.

He distilled the essence of meditation down to one word: awareness. That is the most important thing——- not the experiences of mediation.

I come to understand this again as I have recently been working on myself. And can get sidetracked when I feel energy or talk to myself while lying down on my bed.

But Rinpoche put it in perspective and guided me again—–from afar. How wonderful how blissful how blessed to have Teacher ! And to have these little tips!

My you be well and happy Teacher and may your teachings reach all realms of the universe, just by hearing these, teachings like nectar can heal and deliver all in need.

Left Hand

Left Hand

by yellownblac ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

I accidentally hurt my right hand. But it brought me some new things.

Because I tried not to use my right hand, I tried to use more——my left hand. Thankfully God made a pair! And as I went about my daily activities with more engagement with my left, hanging clothes, or just pegging them to the hangar or raising the hangars to the clothes bar———allowed me to use parts of my body that I didnt use as often, or parts or cells I neglected because I always lived out of habit.

It felt like a little revival of sorts or maybe, waking up my potentials , the point was——I always had them but did not utilise them.

I felt like I was getting introduced again and discovering what I have.

And while I showered, I engaged my left hand more, using this left hand to do what I always did with my right hand.

There’s a lot of learning in there. Like when I exerted more strength or “hardened up”, I could feel it because I wasnt in my habitual mode. When in habit, its so much harder to recognise or pick out things. But when we are out of the habitual zone, whether by force or by will, we actually find out so much more. 

About ourselves and others.

And I thought about the practice of transformation or the learning I have had the privilege to receive learning from Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche , Tsoknyi Rinpoche.

Its about transforming. Turning pain or poison into beauty.

Its about working with the subtle mind and the tapping into the powers we have, and using it to change the nature of our experiences.

There’s beauty in here.

Like learning to find a way out. Learning to look for possibilities. And in that it means, a never give up spirit.

Like the mind naturally automatically finds the left hand to support.

I think I have sort of, inhabited the practice, skipped the step of telling myself to transform and worked with my mind to using my left hand.

Well done TPY.

Listen

Listen

by yellownblac ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

In the course of my profession, I have had the chance to listen more than I have spoken.

Talented individuals, with their stories always offered their inspirations, experiences, learning with me.

All I had to do, was to listen with my heart and to ask questions whenever I wanted.

And I am finding it slightly amusing that I didnt really listen to myself all the while —-whilst listening to so many others.

Yesterday, Teacher sent me a message,

“I’m so extremly proud of you and how your bold and brave work through layers, discover, recognise and understand your self. Putting all the pieces of the puzzle together to see the true picture of how magnificent you are! And not only because, but also despite of the past.

You know it is not important what I and others say, the only thing that matters is what you and your heart tells you. And I see you have found the way to listen and understand your heart. And your great teacher and angels Huaihao and Qinzhi on yourside have an amazing clarity in supporting and guiding you.

You are truely blessed!

After reading your entry this morning, I was so elevated and as I looked out of the window there was a very strange but wonderful light I have not seen before, from the sun breaking through the woods. A moment of magic!”

“Found the way to listen and understand your heart” called out to me, but I didnt make much out of it.

But now that I m putting down my thoughts, I sort of understand this better.

Like in the earlier self reiki session, it was a lot of looking inwardly to check on and hear each part of me. My internal voices.

Recent experiences of lashing it out and going though inflammation and bodily reactions tell me——-If these internal voices are not expressed, they will emerge through somehow, somewhere. And always, out of the body.

Why? They want to be heard

I ask myself now, if I can just apply how and what I do, to my interview subject—-to myself?

Apply the listening to myself? Just how much I would have been better off than now?

I tried to recollect-How did I do that listening?

And how do I do it to myself now? Outside of the reiki sessions.

Teacher gave some tips.

“The very first thought that comes to your mind is from your heart and intuition! The second thought is when you start to analyse…is it possible, is it my imagination, does it make sense?

The first, the very first thought feeling, Image… is what you should follow”

And I told Teacher I will work on this using what daily life presents me with! and experiment and cultivate.

I want to experiment with this.

I think it is too wonderful to be able to redefine, or inspect what listening means or how listening can be.

Like a fresh start off point.

No wonder I love it, when Teacher puts his hands on my ears. That was where I felt the most intense emotions and associations of love and support.

I cant wait to experience this again.

Interestingly, this morning, when I put my hands on my cheeks, Huaihao asked me to shift them to my ears.

He just said, “this isnt where your ears are”

So, LISTEN.