Realising Me xxiii: 21 Days of Abundance Day One

Realising Me xxiii: 21 Days of Abundance Day One

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Day 1

Task: In your new notebook, make a list of 50 people that have influenced your life.

They can be both living and already departed people, your relatives, friends, and celebrities, writers and personalities whom you do not necessarily know personally.

Everyone who has influenced you, and contributed to your growth & development.

The list must have at least 50 names.

In the process of making a list, think about why you chose the person. What has changed in your life for the better?

Move calmly and thoughtfully. Remember the best things about each person in the list and what they bring into your life.

Trust in the process 🙂

Your list may be more than 50 people. But not less!

PHRASE OF THE DAY:

* Today I behold the abundance that surrounds me *

*Meditation*

This is the Mantra you will repeat during meditation:

*So Hum*

My Reflection:

1. Dad

2. Mom

3. Bf

4. Ah Ma

5. Gor gor

6. Hwee

7. Stanley

8. Michelle

9. Qinzhi

10. HuaiHao

11. Boy

12. Mei

13. Mr Ng

14. Yen

15. Buddha

16. Goddess of Mercy

17. Medicine Buddha

18. Khadro La

19. Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche

20. Tsoknyi Rinpoche

21. Dalai Lama

22. Sadhguru

23. Deepak Chopra

24. Jiang Xun

25. YongJ

26. MiaoY

27. Sam

28. Ula

29. Yin

30. Stella

31. Brendon Burchard

32. Win Hof

33. Marie Forl

34. Yi Ma

35. YuJ

36. XiaoK

37. SH

38. PanZL

39. QiaoY

40. YuM

41. QingK

42. Shirley

43. Xiaogu

44. Dagu

45. YuPG

46. Helena

47. Angie

48. Davina

49. Lee Lao Shi

50. Dr Yue

51. Jade Yeo

52. MichelleW

53. John

54. Stephan

55. Punam

I listened to the first audio recording and its content rests on introducing the idea there abundance surrounds us and we do not even have to seek it

But just open ourselves to receiving it

In the short meditation with Deepak’s voice, guiding us to connect to the seat of quiet I located it at my belly area

Gradually as we did breathing and mentally recited So Hum to anchor as thoughts came, I began to observe tightness almost clenching like a fist, clasping grasping

I tried to breathe into it

And it was pretty tight. Now I know. There’s tightness there

But onwards and forwards, I began to see how that area- almost like its boundary expanding upwards and horizontally

It’s opening up and expanding n I m liking it

The clench is still there but I m not forcing it. But observing it

When the sun set today, the sky was a luminous tint of purplish blue pink orange yellow. I m reminded of the abundance nature gifts.

So pretty and when I get to turn my head and ask Huaihao and qinzhi to see, I felt even better, grateful and joyful i have them to share

As I write these names down, I become aware of the saying: you r in me, I m in you. Nature is in us, we r in nature. We r in the universe and the universe is in us

We rub off each other and shape ourselves so unconsciously with others’ thoughts n beliefs. We are an amalgamation each other

Realising Me xxii: 21 Days of Abundance Day Zero

Realising Me xxii: 21 Days of Abundance Day Zero

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I was looking at my keloids n asking myself what else can be done

I tried to visualize it going down and exposing more n more of my original skin

I get the idea that somehow——I have been creating the inflammation . Or some messages or understanding I have translated to the body thereby culminating inflammation

And it goes that———Since I can make inflammation, I can also make non inflammation

I tell myself consciously that I want to create peace and harmony joy and happiness , not inflammation

This was somehow inspired by videos or quotes from life coaches. And a natural work of intuition

Recently, I had the opportunity to look at life coaches and was trying to identify one who resonates with me , trying to start a little program on my own to consciously create my reality

And lo and behold! Helena got to me 2 days back, she sent me this video and asked if I wanna join a 21 days Abundance group following her guide of Deepak Chopra’s Abundance program

Instances like this remind me that nothing is coincidental and that the universe is responding to me, delivering to me just what I need

——— including this exercise of inflammation that is getting me to think in more than one direction and in more than three dimensional ways to achieve insights and breakthroughs

For this Abundance program, there is a task everyday , an audio recording and some time for yourself to collect yourself

Day zero: Starting today, I constantly attract abundance with my thoughts

The Opportunity to renew Yourself Is Now

The Opportunity to renew Yourself Is Now

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Was talking to Juan and our conversation drifted to Mr Ng. She asked if I had brought Qinzhi to see him and what did he say.

I told her that Mr Ng said she’s v clever and he is full of compassion for her, he sees that the child using these extreme ways or has chosen this path to tell us things to wake us up, he ask us not to quarrel or disagree in front of kids, and he says 会好的 she will get better, and he taught me some simple methods on her like pinching her spine …as alot of things are stored there.
And that in our last session, I showed him a pix of her, n he says she’s changed so much already. He says these 2 kids are v bright n more like must communicate with them not use force, because they do know what is going on”
To which Juan adds, ” yah, your kids are very intelligent and with wisdom.
you are very blessed.”

Her words were a timely reminder. Against this weather or not. And more so, in this weather.

And at bedtime, I m once again reminded of her words. I took the time to really BE with Qinzhi and Huaihao. We acted daddy out and sang and danced, they were so amused I knew we bonded again and even more tightly.

When Huaihao caressed my face as he always would and said sleepily, “Sleep, I m tired already”

The feeling that surged upwards was warm and bright.

I have this opportunity! And it is HERE and NOW. Why do I even bother about what has gone by?

I feel silly!

I have this chance to sleep with the kids in my cosy bedroom, I have the chance to sing and dance ourselves silly at bedtime, to share the big and little things in life, to listen to them, to BE with them.

Why do I even bother about the past? I laugh out loud!

If I were sincere about life about living, it would be to be HERE in the NOW 200% 400% 1000% aware.

The power in being HERE NOW is infinite.

The possibilities to create in the HERE NOW is endless.

And it is no coincidence that I saw this paragraph by Marie Forleo that called out to me: “

You were born to create and contribute. Whatever that dream in your heart is, I’m here to say KEEP GOING. Write it, build it, test it, share it…whatever you need to do. 

Anything you do in life requires creativity and imagination and determination. Those are resources you have within that can never run dry.”

There’s a well inside everyone of us, it is filled with never say never attitude, intuitive wisdom, creativity, imagination, awareness, joyfulness, goodness, wholeness, magic.

I think more than ever, that our purpose in life, is to find these back.

Dedicating to Light

Dedicating to Light

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I fell asleep with the kids and find myself awake at 2am.

Realized I had the clothes in the washing machine and chores undone, so I set out to complete these while everyone else is asleep.

The middle of the night. A part of day we have been granted but by far and large, mostly untapped into.

It’s quiet and this quiet sort of helps you get quiet.

I went about my chores with more awareness and simply took time.

When I went back to bed, Qinzhi and HuaiHao is sweetly asleep

I look at them and a thought whispered out loud to me——— haven’t I have blessings and so much of them the past 40 years? Love support and guidance across realms came to me. Angels guardians relatives friends teachers who showed me the light and to help me get through the darkness. I am grateful.

I have had so much worry and fear shock and anger.

But it was all still ———SO GOOD.

I came through so imbued with emotions, realizations and rich , well even magical experiences no one has had the way I have.

How about dedicating myself to light and love, peace and joy in the days ahead?

Haven’t I have enough of habitual worry fear? Earlier in the day in the shower, I was looking at the cyst at my navel and fear stung. What if this turn bad? It could have. I feel like I m with fire. Things can go either way at every moment. What was it that made it bad. What was it that turned it towards wellness?

I thought of the days I had when the doctor told me they found a speck in the cyst and I should operate on it to remove the whole of my navel.

In the days leading up to the MRI, I faced the sun every morning, I chanted before I drank my water and I cleared my thoughts on people whom I couldn’t forgive or experiences I couldn’t accept.

I thought of the magic I had in my life.

I told myself I do not need the doctors and the surgery at all. And I get extremely sure about that. I fasted. I was in full awareness and worked at transforming my emotions each time I felt fear anger etc

I thought of the challenges I m having with the cyst the inflammation the keloids. And al the fear and worry and anger I have absorbed.

Then when I checked my phone, I saw someone in the reiki Ko group needing help because of an emergency.

I felt the streak of fear. I felt like I could feel their fear and worry.

We were called to the hospital in the middle of the night when Mom couldn’t make it. And for a while, I was afraid of the middle of the night.

Awareness of these feelings and thoughts is helpful to me. And I make a step forwards asking myself to release all the fear worry shock I have absorbed into my system my cells my cellular memory consciously or unconsciously from my surroundings , from people I knew. I find that I tap too easily into others’ negativity and I didn’t know how to dispense with these. But now, I found a tool in awareness and in the release technique.

I breathe in.

And open myself up to light love peace and harmony.

And I ask myself: How can I steer myself to goodness like this?

Is it a reminder to myself ? Feels like this needs something stronger to steer. Visualization? Happiness? Gratitude ?

What is it that can steer away from the past habits and propel me into light?

Willingness? Belief. When I typed the word belief as I occurred to me, I sensed just how much disbelief or lack of confidence I have for myself. I felt the pull of it all to stay here where I m most familiar with. I pulled myself back.

So the steer is I.

I must want it a lot . Very much to leave where I m to go forwards.

I

The maker of my very own experiences.

If I can make myself come here. I can make myself go everywhere———- I want. So long as I want.

I m reminded of what Stephan said. That the power I have to create. And in the quiet of the night, I want to experiment.

With all the blessings I have had in the last 40 years, with all the gratitude I have amassed all the luck magic and wonder, I want to create an even better shinier magical healthier ever more TPY kind of the next 40 years.

I want to dedicate myself to light to love to peace to magic.

Inner Engineering

Inner Engineering

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Saw a video on the Isha Kriya page and Sadhguru talks about external and chronic health issues

Whereas infectious external ones are caused by something on the outside , chronic ones develop from within the body and has to be quelled from the inside

Sadhguru explains that while the body and cells r designed for health, sometimes the body develops these chronic conditions as something fundamental has gone off balance, or there is a certain understanding or misunderstanding about things within the system itself, at the cellular level, at the elemental level, so instead of creating health its creating ill health . And we may be incubating this misunderstanding in many ways

So this can be altered by bringing about a certain level of balance in the system, activating a inner energy and accessing the innermost dimension of who you are, which is the very maker of this body

If there is a repair job to be done on this body, should you go to the manufacturer or the local mechanic?

Because the problem is generated from within, it is very important that an inner solution be found for this—->

the inner engineering process is about this, that you find access to the deepest dimension of intelligence and competence within ourselves which is capable of generating this body

The simplest step that one needs to take is that one becomes open to the possibility first of all.

I look at myself and ask what causes the keloids and cyst

The keloids, as I have read, is a result of overhealing. The cyst, absorbed water from the surroundings.

Over active!

Hardened.

The first idea that came to mind, was that I have perhaps (mis)understood that in the face of difficulties, I have to harden up, toughen up in order to survive

I jumped the gun.

Rather than to be as it is, as I m. I reacted overzealously by toughening up. I thought that was the only way.

Expanding on this, the (mis)understanding is to be perfect (when I m not). There was no compassion or empathy towards myself , no respect no acknowledgement of myself

I did not cherish myself and always relegated myself to something else

With this understanding, I have to rework myself and see how this can help my body.

Learning to slow down, learning to be aware, learning to break the circuit of overreacting, of jumping the gun, or the habit to toughen up or stiffen is so so important.

Learning to be soft, malleable, flexible, learning to be fluid. Learning to accept.

It is moving when we are together

It is moving when we are together

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So at 755pm yesterday night there was a countrywide Sing-a-long of the song HOME with flashlights at the window

You are invited to hashtag the footage of the family singing and then the national broadcaster will compile and present the footage of all singing at 1030pm

And then at 1030pm and this is what it is

And seeing this footage made me tear up. Well of course the lyrics and the melody is touching and calls out to you. But more than this, I think the answer is that hearts are together

When hearts are together people or souls are connected and connected as one

You feel the same feelings you feel resonance

And you feel strength and power in together

And that, is moving.

I know what I want

I know what I want

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I saw this video of Max Busser whom I have interviewed 11 years ago and I knew what I want to do

After leaving M, I sort of explored my options. I went back to writing , I did some freelance work for an organic vegetable brand I believed in and ended up performing like a permanent staff but is paid freelance rate

I sort of felt like a part of me —— vanished

Then I saw this video of Max Busser and it brought that part of me, now dormant back to life

I thought of what Teacher asked me—- what do you want ?

I haven’t really been asking myself that question professionally speaking

But maybe I asked and the universe is sending me an answer in the form of this video

I WANT TO TELL INSPIRING STORIES OF EXTRAORDINARY PEOPLE. I WANT TO BE THAT ONE TO TELL THAT STORY WITH TPY’s TOUCH. I KNOW I WILL AND CAN MAKE THE/A DIFFERENCE

AND SO IT IS

Tuning in to your quiet power

Tuning in to your quiet power

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Saw this Vimeo by Tracee Stanley and had the opportunity to go through this video with her

And I love it!

In the midst of it, I noticed how the right side of the body is more open than the left. The left was tighter and denser and more constricted more pressured and more compressed

I felt also a slight pressure in between my eyes. Not like a headache but more like a feel of energy

Tracee asked a few qns and I wrote them down:

1) what is your tool of stability? Breath

2)who r the people who connect you to stability ? Mr Ng/Yen/My reiki Teachers Stephan and Suneeta, and The release teachers

3) how do I honour my connection others ? By respecting them, acknowledging them, by being present for them

4) how do I honour my connection to earth? By learning to love her, recognize and be happy in her, by being in nature and appreciating her

5) what is my unique gift that helps me connect to others, to earth to the cosmos to everything that is? I think writing or expressing my innermost voice or thoughts honestly authentically truthfully and totally is my gift

I hope you find time for this video and to connect with your inner most quiet and——-power

No Reason

No Reason

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This morning before everyone woke, I took some time by myself

And as I went through the little bits of self reiki, I felt a stream of fear anxiety rising upwards at my heart my chest my abdomen area. I tried to look at it

Are these remnants or habitual reactions that have come on?

Then at a certain spot, I heard ———- No Reason

It just is or how it is. No reason required

I m beginning to see how these self care time on my own is bringing in returns on self discovery

I m seeing so many things making so many discoveries reliving emotions and experiences and deriving yet more new understandings and emotions

In quiet, in stillness and calmness, these things show up and are distilled from life

I watch them with wow

Realising Me xxi

Realising Me xxi

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In my self reiki session this morning, I saw something which gave me joy.

I saw myself back in my junior college uniform that quiet girl in a ponytail, always that obedient, hardworking one classmates worked at opening up

I sort of saw a dark cloud over her, and the energy she has is so low.

I saw why she’s like that, behaving like this out of the circumstances and the environment in her family. What were the feelings? Shamefulness ? Maybe not that strong but to that effect! I was one of the three from my secondary school to get into a top JC, but I felt inadequate compared to my peers who were from top secondary schools.

I felt like I didnt match up. And I would work so hard to be on par, there were students from top families in the upper echelons of society, who was I?

I was sandwiched between 2 types of feelings. On one hand, I wanted to excel very much to prove my worth, and to breakthrough the strata I was cooped into. I wanted to prove that even if my family was not well off, had no connections, my parents are not big figures, I could do well too. On the other hand, I didnt really want to talk about my family. And at that time, it was beginning to crumble. There was a sense of wanting to wrap these up and keep it inside. So long as it all looks good on the front.

That made the me then! And it felt like I was in a shadow and not out in the clear. Heavy and sullen.

I could write all these things now, and as I wrote, I found that I have found a distance between me and her.

It felt like there was no pain no right no wrong, I felt slightly sorry and wanted to share some light with her. So I breathed in and sent some light and love over.

It felt like I could see why she’s behaving in this way, and with understanding, there is acceptance, there’s not even regret but just empathy and compassion.

I acknowledge that it hasn’t been easy for her. And more importantly, its all over now. IF not for that period, I wouldn’t be here today, or I would be writing another set of story today.

Separately, one of those days, I was at home, I just felt happiness in the everydayness of life, the weather was hot, the kids chirping, ordering me around wanting this and that, so many things to do, and the husband is helping, sometimes isnt helping. There remains so much to do, to push to get everyone going.

But I also tasted bliss and contentment, gratitude and ————something to the lines of, the nature of life.

Om ma ne pad me hum.