“Imagine at some moment two strong arms enfold you, two great wings rise above you, and you are suddenly lifted up. Lifted up from where you were standing, lifted up out of the shadows, lifted up and carried away. In that moment, imagine all of your cares falling away, your worries dropping like stones, until you feel lighter, as weightless as a feather caught on a breeze.
“Imagine you and the Spirit flying in a clear sky, flying for the sheer joy of it, far beyond the reach of any hurt or harm. Imagine what you believe and it will carry you to a place of strength, of hope, and of love.”
I woke feeling and knowing I want to start a new relationship with myself—— with TPY
If there’s something I want, it will be this.
To be anew like a fresh piece of white paper. With no preconceived ideas and notions about what is and not , what can and cannot, what should and should not.
Huaihao came to kiss me good morning and say happy birthday this morning.
I woke up
😊
I rose and did the usual routine. Prepared ningxia red and the supplements and breakfast for Qinzhi. It wasn’t a chore but every chance to make her better.
Then I find myself at the beach doing a run.
With each breath I clean the insides and the run became slightly meditative in nature.
As I cleaned the area of the keloids the cyst the intestines I thought about the doctor’s appointment. No I do not need that!
That and the whole set of rules ideas fixations on how I lived my life, taught to me by people and their experiences and expectations. Impressed upon me by my experiences and circumstances, I thank them all for bringing me to where I am so I can say – that’s enough and from now, I want to start living as TPY and start this new relationship of figuring things out through the eyes of TPY, with as much awareness and as little of others’ experiences as possible.
So that I can experience myself! I think that somewhat answers my question of what it means to live.
If you don’t do you, you won’t be done. So—-are you who are you?
And I find myself seeing the clouds nearing the sun, as I did a time lapse of the process, I saw for myself how the clouds let the sun’s rays come thru.
Then sun is always there. Yet we are not always aware of its magnificence. We often cannot see the sun until there is something like a cloud which comes by and allows a contrast somewhat and that’s where the rays of light become obvious.
So it seems like we need the clouds to see the sun. We need something to see ourselves in and the very stuff we are made of.
And while the clouds are here, do we have the awareness that there are here to help get a clearer perspective? And we can remain impartial to them ?
Do we have the patience to wait for the clouds to pass by to reveal the sun which is always there? The sun in me as in you.
Let’s start anew, afresh! I am thankful for the opportunity!
I remind myself to be with the new,
To use my intuition and innate abilities and understanding to move forward
To use my skills and capabilities in the highest good to serve and for the betterment of myself and others
To be kind and compassionate to myself
To relate to myself as the most precious
To learn new things visit new places
To have new works that share light wisdom and wonder
I want to experience magic like never before
On this day, I honour myself and all of which I have experienced, all of whom I have encountered. I thank you all and most of all myself.
On this day, I want to embark to the new with the things I learned. Take flight and soar like never before.
Then dad called me in the morning to wish me happy birthday and so did my brother and sis
My nanny came last 2 days back and cooked me gado gado and gave me ang pows and oranges
In the evening, dad sis and brother came and we had dinner and cut a cake.
When we were singing happy birthday, dad and huaihao sang the loudest and I kept looking at huaihao and he kept looking at me. At bedtime he said it was because its my birthday so of course he had to look at me.
And I told him that i almost felt emotional and want to cry and i felt like if i continued looking at him, we were almost locking eyes,, he would too.
To my surprise, Huaihao said, “let it out, don’t keep it inside, emotions are like the clouds and they will be blown away by the winds. So let it out, don’t keep on to them.”
We chat. Huaihao was saying happy birthday to me —with so much love and i felt so cherished —-at almost every juncture he could find. He told me about how he planned for my birthday.
“I told papa that mommy’s birthday is coming tomorrow so what should we get? Then I said mommy likes to write so maybe we can get a book. We went to Popular but did not find anything nice, I told papa, can we get something better for mommy?
Papa said, ah i know where and we went to this high class shop at raffles city! first of all, i chose the colour of the cover to be pink, (why didn’t you choose yellow?) because there was none, and i m like , how can there not be yellow? then i chose the flap to be yellow, the button to be gold. Then we picked the words We Love Mummy, and inside there is a Happy Birthday 2021. The male assistant said he normally suggest the words to be behind so there is a surprise and I took his suggestion. (so why didn’t you write your name and jiejie name behind?) because each row of words cost $10. The book needed 40 minutes and so we went down to buy water go to muji and then went to pick it. (did you like it?) yes. then we went to Tarte (by cheryl koh) but it was closed! aiya! then we went to cedele. And I chose the ondeh ondeh cake because you said you liked it. Then we came back to hide it in the storeroom really inside. (did you chat?) yes, we talked about when to give you the present, who will be here and all these…”
My tears were wetting his pillows and he popped out to get a tissue and wiped my tears
Huaihao said his wish for me is “happy birthday , happy birthday to my precious precious precious precious precious precious mommy. I wish you to be healthy happy and to live forever and never to die.”
I said a big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big thank you to huaihao.
And he asked :” what did i do?”
“you planned for my birthday, gave suggestions for my present and designed the book for me”
And he said, “but papa paid for it, “
Huaihao asked me if I liked my present, if I liked the cake. I said I did.
“this book is like a custom made one by huaihao. and no two is the same. even if the words are the same, the colours would be different. “
and Huaihao said, “even if the words and colours are the same, it is still different because this one you have carries my love.”
I thank Huaihao again for the love, for teaching me what it is to cherish and what it means to be precious. If I didn’t know previously, I know now how precious I m. I cannot imagine how precious I m or what I mean to him. But he let me know.
Thank you Huaihao and Qinzhi of course!
Happy birthday TPY! You spectacular being! You precious one!
The set is waiting for the newsmaker or the interviewee to tell his or her story
And I don’t mind that I m waiting so long just to do the interview. I also do not mind that the money isn’t good.
It means I like this work.
I begin to see no dream —- of me taking helm of a magazine and steering it . It will be a magazine exemplifying goodness wellness and has information about living an abundant spritely life.
A few thoughts came to mind:
I have been using what I know to balance myself back in the recent shocks I experienced
And I managed to
And I m gaining confidence about this innate ability
I have been feeling that the words I repeat are keeping me in the old. It means I haven’t been ready previously but now I know I am. Maybe , not maybe but I should start a new commentary.
Instead of saying to myself to release all the fear shame guilt in me, I m beginning to see myself bye away from this and beginning to love saying —- let’s build and create health, happiness, vitality , healthfulness, longevity
And I hear kyron’s message
Release or drop everything that was ever taught to you
Drop everything that defines you is about you
Drop it
You will not survive well in the new if you have energies of the old
Come in fresh without any of the baggage of what you think is right and wrong true or false
Everything you have been taught has been in the dark room
Stop deciding what others think about you
Drop the perception that you need them
The old tools don’t work anymore
Do not let the past dictate the future
Don’t let the disappointments of the past pace into the future because things will change
Learn to relax with life
2 steps forward 1 step back
There will be things that will derail you but don’t be discouraged
You don’t take on others problems and let them bog you down
You are the light of this planet don’t let anyone put it out
Set aside all the anxiety the fears and let your feet be washed
Think higher
Reboot into enhanecment not surrounded by processes of old energy
I asked my kids. Qinzhi said , to live is to learn. HuaiHao said, to live is to be free. And they are but 12 and 8.
Then HuaiHao said, “ you should do what you like. ”
I said that I like to do interviews, write , listen to people’s stories. Do videos.
I told him what it means to be free. Comparing my life previously when I was working till now, I can now choose what I want to do or not do- I certainly feel free-ier even if I m earning way much lesser
And he asked, “ don’t you like to be with me?”
And I said I was waiting for him to ask me this.
But am I living my life? Doing what I want? Am I living my truth ? and is at peace with me?
I saw this quote by Michael Beckwith, “ if you don’t do you, you won’t be done.”
I watched a Korean drama and in it and old granny told a young man “we all know you have had a tough time and we all appreciate how you go around helping people but go and live your life. Eat good food and be happy. Then you will be happy and your loved ones will be happy.”
In this video, kyron talks about dropping the karma we all believe we have. About stepping out of what we were into the new.
And yesterday in my shower, I thought of something ——- everything can be forgiven, not just this lifetime, but everything and on every of my existence.
Why?
Because I am alive.
And the others isn’t at all important. Looking at the clouds drift by made me think of something- is this living ? Have a started to live? Am I living my life?
What is to live?
I probably passed through days previously, I was doing things for my family, for anyone else but me. And I saw this just now:
From Trinity Esoterics this morning:”The biggest power move you can make on your enlightenment journey is making the shift from knowing about spirituality to living spiritually. Your seeking is a wonderful thing and for many of you a precursor to your embodiment, but ultimately it is your beingness that declares who you really are. Knowledge is often a precursor to action, a springboard, if you will, to how you wish to be.
Simply put, reading about love is wonderful, but one loving action allows you to experience yourself as the love, and it is the expression of those spiritual traits you are really seeking.”
Hear us when we say you do not need to wait until you reach some level of attainment in order to live your life in an enlightened way. Every demonstration of love, every prayer, every moment of gratitude, every observation of beauty, every word of encouragement to another, every peaceful choice, every kindness – all of it is spirituality in action. What we wish for you to know is there are many, many of you on the planet who simply express who they really are, beautifully and consistently, without any knowledge at all of the ascension process, and that makes just as much of a difference as the actions of those who have studied for their entire lives.”
Do you see? The prep work is valuable but don’t get stuck in the habit of being a perpetual student who never quite feels ready to apply their knowledge because the world needs you and your loving actions now, and there is also great joy for you when you allow yourself to step into the experience of being who you came onto the planet to be.”~Archangel Gabriel through Shelley Young.
it is ready to find the new frequency, start to activate that part in you to find the new frequency and revitalise what you have
When you speak things out loud with intent, the cells understand
Affirmations are the quickest way to change your reality at this moment in time. Whatever you tell your body, it cooperates
Affirmations tell what you have
Be I m
I m love
As you speak out loud with intent everyday, there is a process in the repetition
Start talking to your own self your own cells
I m an intuitive that helps people on the planet
I m one with god
I m so well loved by everyone
Affirmations are not wishful thinking , but a statement of truth
Words are frequencies, statement of intent are energies, they are absolutely powerful,
Prayer works, meditation works, this is quantum physics
the energies you can create simply by stating things to yourself in the air, and have them out loud
If your system hears them through the air, through your mouth
by simply
I am kind
I m loved
I m healthy
I m full of vitality
I m creative
I can heal myself
I m a most sought after world class writer and content creator
Your body will hear this
This is the beginning of change
Go back to the beginning, what did you do? what were the processes you got good at and you find the place that worked for you?
Start it again.
Practise
Did you remember you did it for the first time?
The more you practise, the better you get.
Higher consciousness and becoming quantum
See the magnificence of who you are, you have so much control over your own chemistry
it wants to listen to what you have to say, what are the affirmations you would say to your body,
Besides i am healthy, get specific, i m not in pain, i m never going to experience xxx again, i don’t need to, there’s no reason for it, your find you have more control over your body even those things medicine tell you you cannot do
my blood is clean, my blood is happy, my blood is balanced
the energy caused by these energies will be anything you have never seen
go back to basics, push, stop waiting, its time to act
do you realise who you are?
to receive this message? do you know who you are? you have a piece of god inside, so many of you are your own ancestors, you have been thru this earth history
do you deserve to be free? to have all those things back you thought you lost?
that we define our reality with our thoughts and emotions.
The past 2 months of working with old energies and how my physical body changed so quickly showed me the mind body connection very strongly.
This is what was brought up by the stargate livestreams.
“In challenging times, old patterns memories are brought up
Pple who have dis-ease or imbalances in body for a while, it’s usually an emotional undercurrent, repressed , understood or recognized
Bring to first time you experience this emotion
Bring love to this origin
Inner child- an aspect of your past , that when u as a little one had an emotional experience you couldn’t deal with, don’t have ability and understanding to deal with in that moment
If that situation persist or repeated more than one, to protect yourself that emotion is repressed
When emotion is repressed it moves into physical energetics and is part of your energy field
Stuckness Stored in that place for long time
Starts to affect cells in that area
Create dis-ease
Many of our health issues have roots in our past
Most come from early age first five years
But could be from later age in shocking situations
Memory points from your past
Moments in time and space when situations occur to you that you could not deal with
And left a permanent impression
In those moments you as a youngster repressed emotions in that situation
That situation is still there in
But in truth there is only now
Now you can access these moments in your past
In the quantum field there is no time
You the adult can connect with the child and talk to the little one
Bring your adult understanding to the little one help the little one feel it is ok that it is past over and
Free that moment in your past
Free the young one
Allow the emotion to dissolve
And that can have many changes in the now
Body can heal itself
Illness and disease can move out in moments
Feelings too that you are not enough etc
So many grow up with impressions of lack- all these r stored within you
Now is the time to free them
In times of great lack in world, you can be in abundance
You do not have to move with the flow of society
You are creators
As you free from limitations of past, you allow fullness of your creativity
Bring to a place of freedom where you can create a higher level of existence for yourself
When you do it for yourself you change humanity”
My emotions and thoughts created my physical body
those were heavy sunken emotions of fear, imbalance, worry, frustration, lack, disgrace, guilt , shame so many of them all intertwined.
So for a start, it goes that I can experiment and start creating a physical body with emotions like joy, gratitude, love, abundance, hope, warmth, innocence. Unconditional love.
I want to create healthfulness and vitality-like never before and I will and I can!
But first, where do i find the ingredients to? I need to find these emotions and many of them are with my children, who offer me unconditional hugs and love at different times of the day.
In a stargate meditation session Connecting to the Inner Child, I saw myself – perhaps at 4 or 5 years old
Alone
My parents were not with me
Even though I knew my nanny with me
I was simply seeing myself alone
It’s a very deep sense of being alone that stayed with me for a few days. As if it kept something inside wanting me to delve deeper in
I stayed with this feeling for a few days before penning these thoughts down
Why am I alone ?
Why do I not have support or love or care around me? Even if I have parents?
Why are you not with me?
I heard the little girl say.
There’s anger frustration hurt unfairness perhaps even jealousy of another child who has the love of their parents
My conscious mind interrupted and explained to me that
– my parents had to work to earn a living to give me the best they can such as letting me take up organ lessons and having to pay my nanny for monthly childcare fees
But that’s not what I want—- the little girl said!
-they probably were not as evolved to see and attend to the extremely sensitive needs I had as/even as a child
I rationalized to myself and the little girl.
And I realized how very different I m—-I sort of saw the high level of consciousness I had even at the age of 4 years old
Wow
It felt like I had such a strong need to connect and express myself
My young parents who were parents for the first time , simply weren’t armed to deal with or manage me
It makes me reflect on myself as a parent- Much like how we are not armed to deal with Qinzhi and Huaihao now
It brings me to the point that evolution of humanity to a higher level of consciousness is going faster and faster
And staying in the old or it is important to see how much of the old we still harbour and can change out of —- is imperative so we do not cause unnecessary hurt to our next generation
Also, even if so many years have passed, I touched upon the pain of humanity drowned in unawareness and so repeating unfortunate circumstances are still everywhere
I think these really are the messages brought out by the inner child who kept tugging on to me
The pain she felt as a child and even now – after so many years
And what do I find myself say to her?
I m sorry you suffered little one
I can feel the pain and hurt
But really- this is not all of life!
I know how You came with so much expectations optimism happiness delight and hope , wanting to carry your expressions consciousness and light to the world but met with such intense disappointments hurt pain and suffering along the way
It has been hard on you
I know
(And I realize just how much the little girl needs —-love
Love and a hug is all she needs
Perhaps my children too
When I hugged her, she cried so hard because she is finally heard and understood this brought me so much tears too
And after all the crying its good to see her smile again
And it makes me think of a line in the Heart Sutra- 不生不灭不增不减
There’s no birth no death
Nothing increases or decreases
Like the very spirit we are made of and in us )
You have been so awesome all this while, you put it up so well and did so many wonderful things
Throughout it all, no matter what time, you always continued to put forth hope consciousness and light in you
Always always pure and true to yourself
And I am so very proud and blessed to have you
Continue to do what you do best
This really is the meaning or purpose of your life
To radiate Hope, share consciousness and light outwards
I recall John’s words when I shared some of these with him a while ago, the pain of humanity repeating in unconscious states got to him and he reminded me to shift my focus, mindful of your emotions
I think it might have been too ambitious to save the world – just as the little girl in me has been too eager to see so much of everything
But as with life, how about starting off with myself and the little girl?
To be open to the possibility that others can be them and we do not have to put a label or judgement on their lives – suffering or not, right or wrong
To be open to the possibility that I can start by steering myself closer and closer to light and wonder simply by being mindful for as long as I can
To continually uplift myself take care of myself – body and mind to a state of balance and equilibrium
I think I can contribute greatly just by making myself whole and expressing myself truthfully
I think I can contribute the most when I am truly me and the best version of me
Little girl, thank you for the inspiration! You have been so very awesome and I m so very very very proud of you!
And I see this!
“September Energies: Cross-Connecting to Atlantis”
The 9D Arcturian Council, through Daniel Scranton
We are so very impressed by the way you all have handled the energies of August, and we are very excited to see what you will do with the energies of September, a month that includes an equinox, a balancing of the scales. Many individuals on your world have felt out of balance in some way for quite some time, and more importantly, many individuals have been triggered to specific traumas in previous lifetimes that they are cross-connecting to, but also unaware of the fact that they are accessing those past life traumas. And that’s where the September energies come in to play.
You all need some soothing, an energetic bath to cleanse you and to help you to release those stuck energies, those traumas, those emotions you either couldn’t or wouldn’t feel in those previous lifetimes. And so, the energies of September will be supportive of the final release, the final letting go of the heaviness of those traumas so that you can move into the December solstice clear, open, and ready to receive the next download of energies that will take you into 2022.
This has not been an easy year there on planet Earth, because so many have felt disappointed for one reason or another, and that disappointment is not just about their own experiences and lives. People have been disappointed in other people, and this has created a chain reaction that has taken you back in a sense to Atlantean times. In Atlantis many of the humans could see the folly of the ways of their fellow Atlanteans but could do nothing to stop what was already occurring. Many felt powerless to put a stop to what was the decline of Atlantis that would ultimately result in its destruction.
So many people on Earth right now feel that way for a variety of reasons, and so those Atlantean traumas are just some of the ones that people are cross-connecting to and needing to release and heal once and for all. The September energies will do more than just balance you; they will also support you, help you to cleanse and heal so that you can move on from the weight of past life traumas that you are holding in your root chakras, and you will be able to relax when you open yourselves up to these energies.
And you will be able to feel your emotions more clearly and choose which ones you want to feel, and that is something that many people on your world have yet to experience in this lifetime. It is huge to be able to choose how you want to feel, instead of walking around and just getting triggered over and over again. We want this for you, and we know that you want it for yourselves, and so we are happy to participate in the delivery of the September energies, and we know that those of you who are sensitive and are open will be catapulting yourselves forward as a result of what you are about to receive.
I have been asking myself the question: how do we heal shame and guilt?
And I saw some interesting notes, talk about synchronicity!
Can there be coincidence in life?
Look at the messages i picked up along the way? Too beautiful and , coincidental!
I am reminded of one of the messages the community shared on this point
Guilt and Shame associated with lower back, root and sacral region—>affects imunne system, health issues, autoimmune prob, allergies,
Guilt and Shame, happening in our mind, creating mentally, your own story, you are running it and watching it, if keep doing this it does not serve any purpose, just feeling himself or herself, habit of looping and imagining, paying back with guilt and shame and hitting yourself.
Causes diseases, doesnt connect you to present,
Duality, another version of you , at war with yourself
immune system starts to get worse, neurological issues, autoimmune coz at war with yourself.
Things that have happened already past, there’s only present,
cannot change past, but can change present, then change past and future
Power of present, change in the present, past and future will change
we can connect with ourselves to present
dont connect to past anymore
you have power to change, in present power to connect and conceive
Release for back, inhale, got to cellular receptors, change vibration of being, release what baggage you are holding
Transformation: apply front and back, dont like the way you think, inhale
Royal Blend: Rose, Ylang ylang, royal Hawaiian sandalwood, jasmine, works instantly, apply front and back
Present Time, inhale , apply front and back, forehead
Aren’t they all answers for me?
Today after the rain, we went out walking. Was chatting with bf on healing. I asked him about his sessions and he shared some bits here and there, such as being led to a scene of the past and feeling what the younger self of him felt , what he would tell the boy.
I tried it as I walked. Applying these to my own experiences and I went back to the day before dad left. We were asked to get into his bedroom and dad said he had to go,
I asked myself how I felt-in there.
Apprehensive , lots of fear, what about us? Are you abandoning us? Is there any future? Are you leaving mom to this? How can you leave us -this way? What kind of father are you to be doing this to us? Do we deserve this at all?
There’s also anger, frustration, hatred, helplessness at how things have come on. All these were not expressed by the girl that was me.
Instead I saw her, sitting there, not really daring to face up and not wanting to hear what’s next or to know what is going on?
I shut down.
And if I shut down then, can I blame my dad for choosing to shut down too? Those ways we went–they seem to be the very ways we can afford with what circumstances and wisdom we had.
Instead of saying all those things, I shut down. And I allowed and consented to dad’s decision.
I actually allowed it and consented. This was my understanding as I walked today. At that time, by not saying anything, I have actually made a decision, I consented to letting him go, and taking up responsibility for and the uncertain future come what may!
Wow, what a realisation.
Wow
My soul chose it this way, and shouldered and soldiered on in the later years. Why I asked? Was there something I needed to learn? I thought about the concept of soul contract, like how we chose the people we were to meet before we came into this very existence for a certain fulfilment. I am proud to say then then my job is done and I tear away this soul contract with the soul who is my dad.
I think with this i can start embracing a new relationship with him, all over again, picking up from where we left off and I see myself being brought to the sandy beach or playground by dad.
I was asking myself how to heal guilt and shame, and i thought of a few ways, besides using essential oils to support and release, offering light to the areas of the body harbouring these and breathing in to these points . I thought of also building a new relationship or simply just making new experiences and memories with my father.
And to the girl then what would I say?
“辛苦你了。谢谢你！”
It been hard on you . Thank you for doing all you have done.
I remember – Mr Ng said it to me too.
And I m so proud to have come to this point.
As I walked, birds begin to swirl around playing in/with the sky. I am always touched by this sight. They reminded me of the time i was in the maldives and a server at The Alila told me this as he served me ice cold water at the sun deck.
“What is your name,” he asked.
“Yen, it means big bird”
“I think if you do what you like, you will be like flying in the sky”
Its so beautiful and so wise, it says so much. And later on, I have always, whenever possible to go on to include birds in my video works–to thank myself once again, for doing something I like.
Interestingly, in my shower I silently worded one of the above I saw by koya webb: to invite people places experiences that will support or uplift me
In the afternoon, HuaiHao was going to raindrop me as usual but my bottle of 3 Wise Men fell and broke
The essential oil spilled on the floor and not wanting to waste it. I was desperately trying to use both hands to wipe the oil up and to apply them- and the next moment, the word anoint came into mind.
Rather than getting angry or feeling like the oil is wasted, I m a breathing walking 3 wise men now.
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