This is one of the most beautiful and profound things I have read of late
“When we look up, we look for ourselves. Dr. Sagan once said, “We are a way for the cosmos to know itself,” and that could not be more true. We long to understand why we’re here and to find meaning in a world where meaning is so often difficult to divine. Telescopes like this remind us that in spite of our specific challenges on Earth, the possibility of connection still exists.”
Too beautiful and so overwhelmed!
It’s been a few days since I started my day early with a set of warm ups to awaken the body
And I listened to the Grow Younger affirmations by Tapping Solution as I did the simple exercises
And it dawned on me in the early hours of the day—— that all I need to do is to keep it high
Keep the mood the state on a high
Keep the vibration high
And naturally the good things come
There is no need to send out job applications or manoeuvre in anyway , change anything drastically
Just move and keep moving and loving the energy
It’s been such a long time since I let this off. This running walking thing by myself —- with the sun.
And I can’t say how awesome it feels.
To take the sun in, in its entirety.
To breathe it into the body and cells.
And it dawned on me that yesterday really no longer matters.
In fact, I never really thought of how I could handle myself my life and the little things in there. I was at best, trudging along the times irregardless of how they were.
Except for some pockets when I really knew what I wanted – the clearest was when I got Nicholas Tse to be the “Friend of M” that was divine.
All other times I thought I knew but I don’t really.
It dawned upon me that I did not figure a way out of how I would manage the cyst the keloids the gums
I was always asking for advice and dishing out the responsibility of healing to someone else but me
And I asked myself, ” are you healthy now?”
The reply www a resounding yes! Yes yes YES YES YES!
So do I have to do something about it?
NO! There is NOTHING TO DO!
And there was more!
The inner knowing is that all these are energies . Energies that have been focused
And I asked, what do I do about them?
The first thing that came to mind was release. But is it really?
No.
So how do I live with this or manage ? How do I change the energies or the nature of what is there？
The inner knowing is to do things that make me happy like this – walking alone in the sun and a absorbing the beauty, soaking it up!
It is to do that which sparks joy and gives me that light that glow that twinkle in my eyes.
And when I do things that speak of joy, everything naturally flows and gets moved and changed.
Nothing needs to be done at all other than doing things that give me that light in my eyes.
And it follows: there is nothing to heal. NO THING to do.
THANK YOU!An
And to you you you you you you you out there, be happy. I wish you pure joy and happy moments. Be happy!
When we were in Chiangmai , my husband sometimes asked me to look out for the taxi plate because he couldn’t see clearly.
So I saw it for him. Sometimes I couldn’t see a number or something and asked him to.
It felt warm to me that somehow after going through so much, and we had so many fights that wanted us both to call it a stop——- we could be each other’s eyes.
And yesterday in a walk, he saw for me what I needed. And said to me as it is.
There was no sugar coating no harsh words just matter of factly and they were some of the most powerful words I needed to hear.
We always met uncle with his black and brown puppies at our walks, and uncle was exceptionally chatty. He was talking a flat in our vicinity that was sold for one million despite a 51 year lease.
Uncle said, “but all these 20 years I have been here, I didn’t even think of selling. all my friends are here, friends i knew since i was young, everyday come here to walk and meet with friends so happy. Happy and Healthy, these are the 2 most important things, when you don’t have this you have money also no use.”
Conversely, when you have these, you don’t need a lot of money, you are already happy! Healthy!
I was swinging my legs and arms as I heard uncle in the background. And when we started walking, I said to bf, but i feel like I don’t have those.
And it occured to me what and why, because i feel like.
But what IF: I FEEL LIKE I M HEALTHY AND HAPPY!
Bf let out a slew of his thoughts afterwards. He commented that I had been living my yesterday everyday, “when people say to live in the present, it seemed so easy but what is it?
Today you are walking and is healthy, but you choose to live yesterday. And is not happy. But you are healthy! You can walk and breathe this way, and when you walk like that you are creating a tomorrow that is healthy like this.
A lot of people missed the point that the body can do a lot of work and heal on its own. If you are not happy it doesn’t help but when you are happy and you do your little walk and things you like, the things you like is like that spark of light, follow it and more comes to you.”
I thought about the times I wrote about food and appreciated food so much, and more good food and lovely moments of appreciation came my way.
He added, “Maybe you are appreciative but its lesser than the feelings of not enough that you have.”
“Another thing, remember what Master Hsing Yun said? He had some illness of sorts , think he cant see or something, and he said, make friends with them. What does he actually mean?”
“You see, take for example Huaihao, his intelligence is what you adore and embrace. But his nasty times too. Can you embrace that? Or that busker who sang and so many came to listen to him, did you think he can sing those sentimental tunes and ballads being a good lover? Or Steve Jobs perhaps, he has these ways of seeing things that sometimes give people a hard time, but this , or these seemingly negative traits are what makes a person too. In fact, they are the very traits that make that person successful too.
It is what makes that busker sing and express so well. Now look at yourself—-the keloids cyst whatever, they are what makes you too, its not like you want to get rid of them “
“Its accepting them as who you are that makes you who you are. They ARE a part of you. They are the very things that MAKE you.”
Wow.
I take it that the divine is talking to me through my hubby.
And it means to me, things are speeding up and getting faster.
Of late, I been with the understanding that the keloids and cyst, have brought me many many things. I have gone on such a journey to understand how and why they came. To seek answers, and lots of things came out.
I know I am no longer at square one even if it feels like nothing on the outside has changed much.
But the feeling is different, the keloids have been healing faster and miraculously as I see it, and it shows to me how wonderful healer the body—my body and yours is—-because of the speed and beauty at which the healing occurs, its just a divine work of nature that no man can emulate or do at the slightest.
And bf reminded me once again how people forget about the miracles and the WORK the body does. It is just spectacular and always so in support of us—if we give it the right conditions.
And at this point, I have to thank my body for all the love support and healing it has given me all this while, never giving up. And in fact, always showing me its wonder divine nature.
Bf says, “follow that spark, if you think your friend’s mother is the spark, follow her, talk to her and see what comes out of it. Do more of what lights you up! And SEE what happens.
As for your body and issues, if it doesn’t bother you too much, let it be, let it be. You are alive, you are breathing, you can walk like this today, you are laying the groundwork for tomorrow.”
I shared with him a comment shared by a fellow lady who is in her 70s, and she said, “if a woman is healthy, her family receives bliss,”
Talking to my friend’s mother made me hear this comment again in my mind. My friend’s mother is so full of energy and vitality at her age, she draws me to her. I like talking to her and want to talk to her more. I want to find out her secret of how she lived, how she accepts, she is so ordinary yet so so so extraordinary. And all I feel like I can make a video of it and share it outwards to inspire people.
And that is what my husband or the divine said to me as well. OR the divine spelling it out for me through my friend’s mother.
I m so inspired she is like a model to me. I want to be like her!
And I WhatsApped my friend to tell her: You are so blessed!
And it made me realise my yearning for my mother. And to realise, how important a woman’s health is to a family, it really makes or breaks a family. That is it.
Bf said, “you don’t know what she went through but everyone only looks at the surface and the good things. Its just like some people may envy you but may not know what you have gone through and for that, I really take my hats off to the Dalai Lama, you have been there in Dharamsala to witness and hear for yourself his smile and his laughter, it is as if the exile and the difficulties never happened never touched him a single bit, how is it possible that he smiles this way?”
I haven’t felt so inspired to write in so long but talking to my friend’s mother and listening to my husband made me want to use today to create my tomorrow so that me and my family can be happy and healthy for a very loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong time.
And definitely hearing this made me fall in love again. It was how we loved each other so much because we were walking and talking——- so much.
Nothing complex or high sounding here and in fact all so very easy to understand and achievable.
And i felt really light and happy after listening.
If this isn’t the divine, what? And the divine—is always with us, with me.
DO you hear it?
Try. You can/will hear this.
These few days traveling with dad made me see how real aging is.
Or how real life is, life that doesn’t wait for anyone .
There were so many instances or moments of negativity. And they made me aware of fear and doubt.
And they are opportunities to let me snap out and to choose a vibration or frequency that I want.
Lots of practice
And there is an emerging thought- to surrender and let it flow. Not control. To know that all is well. And to trust the divine.
I also have a lot of compassion for dad. A very simple man who has no tools or techniques or guidance on life or asking for life what he wants. He passively just takes everything in his stride. And to understand that life is destiny or fate controlled by the heavens.
I try to share with him what I learn on affirmations and manifestations as much I can.
I learned about capacity. And the capacity of myself that would be important. To build myself first —- and in such a way so I can help others.
When I did reiki for myself this morning, I heard myself say- The divine is flowing in me. In my hands and fingers. In and out through my eyes, my mouth my words, emanating from my heart.
Rest in the divine.
Dad is a kind man.
We were on the train to Chur and we need a more comfortable seat. I said to sis that the guys to our right are leaving next. I said it so casually.
And they did leave the seat when the next station arrived.
Is this coincidence ?
It brought me to knowing manifestation once more
And to be mindful to it because it all comes back to us
How can we be responsible ? I mean, we have to.
I was so tired I went to bed at around 9pm Swiss time. I woke up at around 330am and the thought came :
To shift to where you want.
Where or what do I want. Us this trip to shift to. And the people around you will not be the same too.
My family at home. My family around me.
They are no longer the same as well.
I heard myself say to consciously shift to a place of love, laughter, joy, happiness, forgiveness, understanding.
And I thought about what I thought about- that life needn’t be learnt the hard way. In the laughing is the healing. In the laughing is the learning.
Like how we were all laughing on the train about the passengers who left their seat for us. And I did think about the trip as a joyful journey.
We can learn easily, lovingly, joyously, beautifully! We can reverse all processes!
I watched Matrix 2 on the plane and there are so many meaningful quotes one of which is: you can’t go back there, you won’t.
And I watched Shang Chi and one of the quotes were Shang Chi ‘s mother telling him that he gets all of what his parents give him. And it is up to him to make his gifts his, in a way that is him.
Traveling these 2 days with sis and dad made me feel grateful and feel somewhat carefree. I told sis I m grateful and that we must have done something right.
Sis is the one who is more expressive. She cares for him so much and flows into everything like taking pictures for him while I m slightly still more laid back . Writing this made me know I m still holding back
I remember in my sessions- I know that both sis and I were versions of mom who care for dad. And in different ways.
And sis is doing the opposite and she has shown me how easy it is to just be and let go
And the point I reach is: I m dad’s princess once more. Nothing to do.
The highlight of today is Glacier Express and dad was seated opposite me. While I can see that he is tired and old, I took care not to see too
Dad did my opposite and remarked that I have a lot of white hair and sis said I m already past 40. To which dad replied: time, so fast.
I sort of felt or saw myself as a little girl in his eyes. Always has been .
On the other hand, Dad is always thinking of me as a priority. When sis asked what he wants for dinner, he would say: I love veggies so let’s do a veggie place. Or after dinner, and sis asked if he liked to go for a walk, he would say- I m tired so let’s head home.
I am reminded that he the hubby brother and HuaiHao are the same soul sets. With them, I m always the princess . And healing each one, heals all.
I just couldn’t be natural or at ease. Rather than asking what m I still holding on to, I m seeing this as- we are already at ease. Like a photo we took while we had the opportunity to get off glacier express . The mountain range as our backdrop, we smiled so nicely.
In that point : I m dad’s princess once more. Nothing to do.
I am reminded that me the sister and qinzhi are the same soul sets. Healing one heals all.
Huaihao asked me these questions the morning of Easter.
“Mommy, if you have 3 powers, what would they be?”
I said I wanted to be able to create what I want. (and in my mind, i heard myself say, I already have that power, in fact all of us do, we are powerful creators and we create our own reality.)
The second was to heal everything I touch. (and in my mind, i knew I or we already have that power.)
The third was to be where I want.
Huaihao added, “you mean the power of teleportation?”
I asked him in return what powers he wanted. To which he said, “I want the power of wisdom, so that I can make the right decisions, I want the power of health, so that i can clean up everything in the sea and it would be clean and the power of teleportation.”
We continued our conversation.
Then he asked, “Mommy, is there anything you want back in your life and anything that you want out of your life?”
I said, after a while of thinking , “maybe my mommy? then grandpa would have a companion and (he said, —your life would be more whole?) and you would have a grandmother.”
And i would want to have all the strong energies or emotions that bring me the cyst and the keloids out .
And I asked Huaihao, what then would he want in his life and out? He said he wanted papa to be not angry and wanted to be back again to younger days.
And i asked if he really wanted to be little again.
Then he asked me what the soul does.
I said the soul evolves and learns along the way. And shared with him some theories i have come across, such as us picking where we were going to be born in, what we are going to learn and who we are going to meet. But—What a question from the little one!
Another day, we spoke about his dad in his own cave. And we discussed what strategy we would employ to help dad?
I proposed 2 ways, to go in there and fetch him out. Or, to remain at a high and he matches our high. We discussed how easy it was for us to match him at his state or be affected by him doing or his non doing . And Huaihao said, “guys just be yourself and don’t follow the hurt!”
I m so amused by the wisdom of this little one, and I asked how this came out. Did he read this somewhere or copy ?
And he laughed, “I just pooped it out”
I love how he dishes and sends me these nuggets of inspiration in such a light way. It makes me realise that wisdom, love is always with me.
This day after school, qinzhi has CCA and I took Huaihao out to Tenjin for lunch. Like a little excursion of sorts for us. Me time.
On this weekend morning, we walked and headed to Jewel. When Huaihao saw this fountain and the rainbow that was reflected, he said, “seeing this gives you hope right, Mommy”
And there’s so much beauty in this appreciation and sharing. Seemingly little things that brighten you up.
Was getting qinzhi to say affirmations such as I love, approve and accept myself and HuaiHao was around and he said, “Happiness is me.” And when we were running he said “I m god”
Wow. He isn’t that far off from this truth- we are created in the likeness of god and we all have these wonderful amazing qualities.
This weekend, we did Duck Tours.
And this is Huaihao’s booklet recording his device time. Love his doodles!
Power does not come from saying, it comes from the heart!
And one day he popped out of the bath in this getup, and felt satisfied in me being so amused.
He also started to plate his dinner
This friday at ah yi’s, ah mei ah yi was trimming his nails.
One evening we went shopping for groceries and took the chance to ice cream
Another day, Huaihao wrote his own story and came up with a tongue twister
And bedtime with HuaiHao is always lovely. He said he still remembers how breast milk tasted
“It’s sweet, a bit salty and not fishy like milk”
HuaiHao was tucking me in bed and I feel so loved
I said thank you and this makes me feel like a princess
“ but you already are !”
But I m not pretty
“ why do you say that?!” He sulked
“ you are pretty and if you believe you are, you are!”
So well said
Think thoughts that make you happy
Do things that make you feel good
Be with people who make you happy
Eat things that make your body feel good
Go at a pace that makes you feel good
Today I went for my third dose of vaccine and came home totally zapped of energy and I feel breathless.
HuaiHao offered to massage me and did it for so long after he raindrop me.
Amazingly his hands always pointed to the right spot where pain and soreness residedI
Asked him how he knew and he said, “ this part is softer and jiggly but here is stiff.”
I had sone pain in my right arm and elbow but HuaiHao said the stiffness is more pronounced in my left shoulder
Then he said, “ the left hand is connected to your right side of the brain and vice versa. And the left side is the logical brain and so it follows that you are stuck in the logical aspect. And mom, you are like a sponge soaking up all the oil . It’s like if you like it you soak it up but if you don’t you leave it all there.”
Wow
Then he continued to massage me until his back is sore and I told him that I do not want that.
We lay down on our backs and he massaged my face.
It was so good I said many thanks to him. I bowed down to HuaiHao and thank his healing hands for saving me out of the lousy feeling.
To which he said, “you make me happy too.”
I took the opportunity to remind him of how magical and powerful his love was , pulling me out of the deep and reviving me.
Then I went on to caress his hands. And I felt myself teary for the warmth of the touch was good to me too
I asked HuaiHao how he felt.
“Makes me feel like crying.” He said.
I m grateful for HuaiHao . Thank you for healing Mommy precious one! Love you so much HuaiHao!
I did all I can at my best, prepared all the brews, breakfast and lunch for HuaiHao , did raindrop for him and headed out for my reiki 2 class.
Before I decided, the tired feeling came on.
Now that I journal, I just know—— it is not mine. But the husband is going thru his cycle. Unconscious to it .
All along when HuaiHao is not feeling well, he would stay clear and not be responsive. He would side step and I would handle.
This time too. But today as I was deliberating if I should stay at home or head for class, I decided the latter.
The hub has gone back to bed- a sign that he is switching off and going back into his old mode.
So I would make room, consciously for him to go through the process. What is different is that, as opposed to telling him what to do, letting him know what I prepared, instructing him as to how he should act ie to take responsible, I left after letting HuaiHao know what he can expect from what I have prepared.
I will leave my expectations somewhere there, with room for them to play it out. Rather, for the daddy to be guided by the son. Or rather, for the divine to set things in order.
For all that I need to know, will be revealed to me in divine order. And all that I need, is taken care of by the universe.
I see them breakthrough. And it will be different from the past.
And so it is.
I popped down and saw the drizzle and went back upwards to get an umbrella. When I went down the drizzle was somewhat gone. I feel light and reiki love outwards.
Then I saw the bus I was aiming for pass me by.
I shouldn’t have went back up for the umbrella! I thought.
But as I was nearing the bus stop, I saw the outline of another bus, and that is the bus for me. Less crowded. And I got the space and the feeling to journal this down.
Sometimes, missing a bus might not be that bad because a better one comes by.
Like what the Dalai Lama says, sometimes missing something is a blessing.
Dan Dennett: Collected Wisdom on Memes, Luck, Consciousness, and Existence
“Every living thing is, from the cosmic perspective, incredibly lucky simply to be alive. Most, 90 percent and more, of all the organisms that have ever lived have died without viable offspring, but not a single one of your ancestors, going back to the dawn of life on Earth, suffered that normal misfortune. You spring from an unbroken line of winners going back millions of generations, and those winners were, in every generation, the luckiest of the lucky, one out of a thousand or even a million. So however unlucky you may be on some occasion today, your presence on the planet testifies to the role luck has played in your past.”
Spoke to W yesterday and after listening to my work as a journalist fond of asking questions , she has this to suggest.
“Why don’t you stand in front of a mirror and interview yourself? You have been asking other people questions but not yourself. Ask yourself how you feel and what you want. More.”
She says I have the capacity to feel but there are just too many “layers”. Once I remove the layers, I will be able to access this inner knowing of mine.
She also advised me to meditate or just simply inhale frankincense and ask, what do I want or what do I want to do and wait for the reply.
I asked W about the pain in the right side of my body. I told W that when I read Louise Hay, she mentioned the right as connected to masculinity so my relationship with the important men in my life. She offered another perspective- that the left side is the receiving side and the right the giving side. It’s like, “ hey you have been using me again and again and it’s not balanced .”
Wow!
Yes and I did have problems receiving and always find myself in the giving position . Sometimes even when giving is sucking out of me my energy, like how the women in my tribe gives, they give and give of themselves until they are sucked dry of their life force .
And I m certain I do not want that. So do the reverse TPY.
I love conversations like these that remind me of my inner wisdom or knowing. You just know and there is no other noise
I m envious of W and the others who have the capacity to feel and know for certain what works or what not. I want to get there and the fact is, I have—-on many counts
This morning upon awakening, I asked myself what was it in the keloids. And I heard my own reply
The first I heard, it was shame. I felt shameful of the work dad was doing. Then I heard myself say, but that was the only means he had at that point in time, and he had no choice but this to raise the family.
The next I heard was guilt —-guilt feeling this way, not understanding.
Then there is resentment and anger. Resentment and anger towards dad for choosing this means of work and resentment and anger towards myself for not understanding his predicament and lack of a better alternative. And allowing myself to feel this way.
There’s also hurt too. And those are as well his feelings of lack of choice. Probably now as I write, all those feelings above of shame guilt anger and resentment are his too.
There’s also fear, fear of letting others find out what work he was doing and who I really had for a father. Not that he committed any bad deeds or crime but just that my principles and rigidity did not see the good in his choice.
And because of all this, I was not feeling worthy deserving I was not acknowledging my value my self my preciousness. That was why I keep putting myself down and placing myself in a situation of lack of not allowing my light to shine.
Seeing this was like achieving a breakthrough.
I lovingly, joyfully, effortlessly release all of these feelings emotions patterns of feeling and consciousness that have been in me. This past this history—- I thank them for the inspiration and lessons for making me this independent tough and accomplished——- but I do not need them now.
The past is past. I do not need these set of logic system beliefs habits emotions in my present.
I release them joyfully happily !
I m free, so is dad. All is well.
I m thankful.
And I find myself so tired after this. That has been the burden on me. All lifted.
All is perfect and well. I am whole and complete.
I trust that all I need to know is revealed to me in divine order . And all that I need and want is supported by the universe. I rest in this knowing this trust.
I m loved so very loved. Thank you universe!
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