Author: yellownblac

9 Yrs 4 Mths

9 Yrs 4 Mths

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My little precious helped me washed dishes, all of our plates and bowls we used for dinner. And he said, “I really wanted to help you mom”

awwwwwwwwww

All i did was point out during dinner that he and Qinzhi had lots of potential and are so very gifted and as parents, we will do what we can, the utmost we can to provide them with what they need to get to the spot they desire

And before bedtime, Huaihao prepared his diffuser without me saying.

Its amazing how praise works.

You want more from kids? Praise the good in them and let them see their good.

The thing is, everyone somehow feels good at the end.

On Fridays, we head over to ah yi’s for dinner and bonding with grandpa and Huaihao somehow loves to have ah yi trim his nails

And this is Huaihao prepping a birthday card for his daddy. And at 530am on his dad’s birthday he woke and did this piece of instruction paper in the living room and came in to paste it on our door. He had hid the card under his pillow the night before and told me, “probably dad would know, because that is what he always does—on our birthdays and during Chinese New Year when he hid the angbaos under the pillow”

It really explains in such a nice way, how children emulate and learn from their parents. And it becomes the way they know.

We celebrate dad’s birthday and Mother’s Day the same weekend and I had my treat too! Under the pillow!

I should have known!

On dad’s birthday we woke early and went out for our weekend walk and breakfast!

Dinner was at Summer Pavilion and Huaihao looked forward to this treat so much ! He kept asking me to check if chef is around and if he isn’t, he wouldn’t want to eat there.

And he is right because this is the way you get treated to proper food, with chef’s attention. Huaihao had all the soup to himself and had an abalone fish maw scallops alll. His favourite is the amuse bouche of egg and lobster bisque with vinegar caviar.

And he tried sweet and sour pork and declared this is the best. Chef gave us a dumpling to which Huaihao opened himself and obviously devoured, he opened up the steamed dumpling with spoons pretty much like a pro and asked “Can i have this all to myself ?”

And this is Huaihao, the precious one. I asked him what he would like for me to get back from the trip. He said, “I would like to try the food there.”

Like baguette? Croissants? Macarons?

He nodded and said, “But i like to try the meat there too,”

Like sausage hot-dogs kind?

“Yes, can you get them from sausage land?”

Another night on the bed, he said something like , “Just be yourself and don’t follow the herd “

I asked if he meant hurt. And he said, “like sheep and cow moving in a herd!”

I asked if he copied this somewhere and he said, “I pooped it out mommy”

So effortless so humorous. And really cool!

Another night.

I forgot what we spoke about that led to this.

HuaiHao: I want to help people when I grow up

TPY: oh how? Like erm, teach or share knowledge also helping, giving money also helping, how would you like to help.

HuaiHao: I like to help to make people happy.

TPY: would love to see what precious HuaiHao is going to do !

Another night:

HuaiHao: Mommy I love you

TPY: I love you too!

HuaiHao: So when you love someone, you got to appreciate his highs and lows?

TPY: What is it you mean by appreciate ?

HuaiHao: It means accept.

TPY: And what is highs and lows?

HuaiHao: It’s the things you do and not

TPY: Why must we accept or appreciate?

HuaiHao: Because what we are talking about —- is love, mommy.

Huaihao seems to procrastinate when it comes to learning spelling and there is chinese spelling which he didn’t really want to learn but eventually did and scored 100 marks and it is all in a day’s work. I love the doodles he did.

This is my precious boy, trying to smile the emoji smile

Its been a while since i travelled without the kids, and I asked for their support as always and got it. Huaihao says he is helping the sis and dad with raindrop, really thankful !

And I know, I just do, that the travel will be working miracles and love and joy for us all!

Swiss London 22: I trust the divine in me, with me

Swiss London 22: I trust the divine in me, with me

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It had been eventful.

Dad woke and pooped with blood. We headed up to jungfraujoch and he had altitude sickness.

It really pushed me to waking up. And indeed helped me let go of my pride.

Throughout the day, I practiced and learn to trust the Divine in me and with me. Qinzhi sent me prayers like this :

Wednesday prayer.

In the name of the Father, and of the Son , and of the Holy Spirit.🙏🏻
it’s wednesday father God. It’s the middle of the week, and just want to thank you for bringing us safety this far. For all who are struggling financially, mentally and physically, we ask that you would lessen their burdens. Sincerely heal their bodies, mend broken hearts, and find and make a way out of no way for those trying to take care of themselves and their loved ones. May they stay safe and happy and healthy. We praise and thank you in advance! We pray also for travelling mercies and protection from all dangers seen and unseen. Thank you Jesus! May you please continue to keep us and our families and the many families in the world covered under the precious Blood of Jesus. In Jesus’ name, I pray. amen. In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. 🙏🏻Amen.

Swiss London 22: To where you want to be

Swiss London 22: To where you want to be

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We were on the train to Chur and we need a more comfortable seat. I said to sis that the guys to our right are leaving next. I said it so casually.

And they did leave the seat when the next station arrived.

Is this coincidence ?

It brought me to knowing manifestation once more

And to be mindful to it because it all comes back to us

How can we be responsible ? I mean, we have to.

I was so tired I went to bed at around 9pm Swiss time. I woke up at around 330am and the thought came :

To shift to where you want.

Where or what do I want. Us this trip to shift to. And the people around you will not be the same too.

My family at home. My family around me.

They are no longer the same as well.

I heard myself say to consciously shift to a place of love, laughter, joy, happiness, forgiveness, understanding.

And I thought about what I thought about- that life needn’t be learnt the hard way. In the laughing is the healing. In the laughing is the learning.

Like how we were all laughing on the train about the passengers who left their seat for us. And I did think about the trip as a joyful journey.

We can learn easily, lovingly, joyously, beautifully! We can reverse all processes!

I watched Matrix 2 on the plane and there are so many meaningful quotes one of which is: you can’t go back there, you won’t.

And I watched Shang Chi and one of the quotes were Shang Chi ‘s mother telling him that he gets all of what his parents give him. And it is up to him to make his gifts his, in a way that is him.

Traveling these 2 days with sis and dad made me feel grateful and feel somewhat carefree. I told sis I m grateful and that we must have done something right.

Sis is the one who is more expressive. She cares for him so much and flows into everything like taking pictures for him while I m slightly still more laid back . Writing this made me know I m still holding back

I remember in my sessions- I know that both sis and I were versions of mom who care for dad. And in different ways.

And sis is doing the opposite and she has shown me how easy it is to just be and let go

And the point I reach is: I m dad’s princess once more. Nothing to do.

The highlight of today is Glacier Express and dad was seated opposite me. While I can see that he is tired and old, I took care not to see too

Dad did my opposite and remarked that I have a lot of white hair and sis said I m already past 40. To which dad replied: time, so fast.

I sort of felt or saw myself as a little girl in his eyes. Always has been .

On the other hand, Dad is always thinking of me as a priority. When sis asked what he wants for dinner, he would say: I love veggies so let’s do a veggie place. Or after dinner, and sis asked if he liked to go for a walk, he would say- I m tired so let’s head home.

I am reminded that he the hubby brother and HuaiHao are the same soul sets. With them, I m always the princess . And healing each one, heals all.

I just couldn’t be natural or at ease. Rather than asking what m I still holding on to, I m seeing this as- we are already at ease. Like a photo we took while we had the opportunity to get off glacier express . The mountain range as our backdrop, we smiled so nicely.

In that point : I m dad’s princess once more. Nothing to do.

I am reminded that me the sister and qinzhi are the same soul sets. Healing one heals all.

13 Years 3 Months

13 Years 3 Months

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Pretty Qinzhi is so pretty!

In this month, i had lots of wonderful conversations with Qinzhi. There was really any chance to take photos when we had these conversations.

But it really made us best friends as we traversed the insides of our hearts.

For example, one day qinzhi was texting me to tell me how disappointed she was with her friends and I was sharing with her my experiences of doing my best for my friends and not asking for anything in return. And also, not to be attached to their moods so i do not invest myself overly.

And i am surprised at the level of maturity Qinzhi has when she messages her dad.

The daddy has not been speaking up and left for a diving trip quiet. And this is what Qinzhi wrote.

The kids also did handmade cards and shared heartfelt words with the dad and hid them so he could find. How beautiful!

And we were on our weekly sessions of walk once more, it felt good after so long that everyone is together. We then took 36 to Millenia Walk and had Meidiya’s sushi. On the breakfast table, I took the chance to sort out the unhappiness. And had everyone talking slightly.

With the unhappiness sorted, we had summer pavilion’s awesome dinner that night

And this is Qinzhi sharing her photos with me, she said she took these on her way home

Especially on the nights we have raindrop, we have lots of wonderful conversations where Qinzhi would tell me about school, her concerns and all. We have become good friends in a way.

Miraculously , Qinzhi’s math improved tremendously, it was as if she has found a way out. I remember myself finding out for Math in about sec 2 and before, it was all a blur,

But Qinzhi did it earlier than me. We ran the same themes of not knowing Math before.

Talk about same soul sets. Because I had it so hard, living my life as a child with rules and expectations in place, now that I am mommy, I really opened up lots of space for Qinzhi and Huaihao.

And because of this I am managing with a set of different behaviour and concerns that were quite different from what my mother and me experienced.

The kids are now so free we explored failure, low marks or grades, imperfection, really lax behaviour and pulling ——-rather than non failure and a state of non low grades or really high marks and perfection, beating, pushing

Almost like do re mi fa so la ti do on the piano, a different set of octaves beating to the melody of a theme, but at a different frequency or level.

Knowing Qinzhi and me are the same soul sets, and me, sis and mom and granny too, it makes things clearer and its brings a lot more clarity.

I wish you wisdom and lots of love and light. There is no doubt, Qinzhi is powerful and even more so than me. Go for it, Qinzhi!

And its been a long while since I travelled without the kids, Qinzhi is going to help take care of daddy and huaihao by prepping their supplements.

I hope this gives her a little surprise!

And i have prepared a recipe for her so she can cook for her dad and brother

Its going to be really therapeutic and full of love!

Swiss London 22: On board once again

Swiss London 22: On board once again

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16 May

I woke up on 15/5 feeling tired and low on energy.

Then I understood: I had been seeing that everyone around me was experiencing some experience of a a physical event

Qinzhi was dizzy at school

HuaiHao was unwell and had a tummyache

Dad experienced dizziness and vomited

Bf had some kind of stomach flu that I didn’t know how to explain that turned him into soft jelly

the cleaning out everyone was experiencing was with me and for me and I had the understanding now

That I was cleaning myself these few months

I was doing it slow and gradual but everyone did theirs in an express module of sorts

Interesting enough , i drew this card

And qinzhi sent me this

And off I m with sis and dad on the business class trip of a lifetime

I remember thinking in the wee hours of the morning of 15/5 – I m so grateful for this trip so immensely thankful

It seemed even unimportant now what I want to say to dad

The most important thing is to have lots of fun happiness now and in the days ahead

I intend that this trip for us three will be so full of love, so happy, filled with so much laughter so much light and joy so much healthfulness all of us

Yes- ALL of us – are blessed so much any healing is automatic and complete or anything that is needed is healed

I saw the first—- well I would like to think it’s one of the very first rays of light when I drew up the shades

And it makes me know that it’s kind of silly we spent one month away doing anything but connecting

And why would we be at odds when we both have so much love for each other?

Looking out at the sky made me think this

I feel like laughing

And I want to and will be traveling with you very very soon, on business class to where we both will find and love each other so deeply again

Like when we are gf and bf

I love being in this seat looking at the fluffy whites and blue. It makes me feel really close to god, Buddha, or the divine and angels. I thank them all for the blessings and protection.

9 Yrs 3 Mths

9 Yrs 3 Mths

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Huaihao asked me these questions the morning of Easter.

“Mommy, if you have 3 powers, what would they be?”

I said I wanted to be able to create what I want. (and in my mind, i heard myself say, I already have that power, in fact all of us do, we are powerful creators and we create our own reality.)

The second was to heal everything I touch. (and in my mind, i knew I or we already have that power.)

The third was to be where I want.

Huaihao added, “you mean the power of teleportation?”

I asked him in return what powers he wanted. To which he said, “I want the power of wisdom, so that I can make the right decisions, I want the power of health, so that i can clean up everything in the sea and it would be clean and the power of teleportation.”

We continued our conversation.

Then he asked, “Mommy, is there anything you want back in your life and anything that you want out of your life?”

I said, after a while of thinking , “maybe my mommy? then grandpa would have a companion and (he said, —your life would be more whole?) and you would have a grandmother.”

And i would want to have all the strong energies or emotions that bring me the cyst and the keloids out .

And I asked Huaihao, what then would he want in his life and out? He said he wanted papa to be not angry and wanted to be back again to younger days.

And i asked if he really wanted to be little again.

Then he asked me what the soul does.

I said the soul evolves and learns along the way. And shared with him some theories i have come across, such as us picking where we were going to be born in, what we are going to learn and who we are going to meet. But—What a question from the little one!

Another day, we spoke about his dad in his own cave. And we discussed what strategy we would employ to help dad?

I proposed 2 ways, to go in there and fetch him out. Or, to remain at a high and he matches our high. We discussed how easy it was for us to match him at his state or be affected by him doing or his non doing . And Huaihao said, “guys just be yourself and don’t follow the hurt!”

I m so amused by the wisdom of this little one, and I asked how this came out. Did he read this somewhere or copy ?

And he laughed, “I just pooped it out”

I love how he dishes and sends me these nuggets of inspiration in such a light way. It makes me realise that wisdom, love is always with me.

This day after school, qinzhi has CCA and I took Huaihao out to Tenjin for lunch. Like a little excursion of sorts for us. Me time.

On this weekend morning, we walked and headed to Jewel. When Huaihao saw this fountain and the rainbow that was reflected, he said, “seeing this gives you hope right, Mommy”

And there’s so much beauty in this appreciation and sharing. Seemingly little things that brighten you up.

Was getting qinzhi to say affirmations such as I love, approve and accept myself and HuaiHao was around and he said, “Happiness is me.” And when we were running he said “I m god”

Wow. He isn’t that far off from this truth- we are created in the likeness of god and we all have these wonderful amazing qualities.

This weekend, we did Duck Tours.

And this is Huaihao’s booklet recording his device time. Love his doodles!

Power does not come from saying, it comes from the heart!

And one day he popped out of the bath in this getup, and felt satisfied in me being so amused.

He also started to plate his dinner

This friday at ah yi’s, ah mei ah yi was trimming his nails.

One evening we went shopping for groceries and took the chance to ice cream

Another day, Huaihao wrote his own story and came up with a tongue twister

And bedtime with HuaiHao is always lovely. He said he still remembers how breast milk tasted 

“It’s sweet, a bit salty and not fishy like milk”

HuaiHao was tucking me in bed and I feel so loved

I said thank you and this makes me feel like a princess 

“ but you already are !”

But I m not pretty

“ why do you say that?!” He sulked

“ you are pretty and if you believe you are, you are!”

So well said 

Think thoughts that make you happy

Do things that make you feel good

Be with people who make you happy

Eat things that make your body feel good

Go at a pace that makes you feel good

Today I went for my third dose of vaccine and came home totally zapped of energy and I feel breathless.

HuaiHao offered to massage me and did it for so long after he raindrop me.

Amazingly his hands always pointed to the right spot where pain and soreness residedI

Asked him how he knew and he said, “ this part is softer and jiggly but here is stiff.”

I had sone pain in my right arm and elbow but HuaiHao said the stiffness is more pronounced in my left shoulder

Then he said, “ the left hand is connected to your right side of the brain and vice versa. And the left side is the logical brain and so it follows that you are stuck in the logical aspect. And mom, you are like a sponge soaking up all the oil . It’s like if you like it you soak it up but if you don’t you leave it all there.”

Wow

Then he continued to massage me until his back is sore and I told him that I do not want that.

We lay down on our backs and he massaged my face.

It was so good I said many thanks to him. I bowed down to HuaiHao and thank his healing hands for saving me out of the lousy feeling.

To which he said, “you make me happy too.”

I took the opportunity to remind him of how magical and powerful his love was , pulling me out of the deep and reviving me.

Then I went on to caress his hands. And I felt myself teary for the warmth of the touch was good to me too

I asked HuaiHao how he felt.

“Makes me feel like crying.” He said.

I m grateful for HuaiHao . Thank you for healing Mommy precious one! Love you so much HuaiHao!

13 Years 2 Months

13 Years 2 Months

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Gifted Qinzhi with a raw ruby and a raw emerald and these seem to be the things she needed. And I shared with her the power of saying affirmations.

“I am willing to change”

“I love approve and accept myself”

She went on to do “I m the best in math in class”

and the miracle is she did in a short span of time. Before she was really weak and registered resistance when it came to maths

And now, she’s the best for algebra in class.

How amazing is that. And she is providing me with a mirror to spur me on. Motivating me to do the same.

This weekend, Qinzhi said she wanted to do a staycay at ah yi and this would be the birthday present she wants. And ah yi made her a nice breakfast.

Then popo and ah hui ah yi made curry and we happened to have bread so we did the dip.

And Qinzhi’s hair is so long now.

Qinzhi showed me how she dealt with errant behaviour of her classmate who disturbed her in class. And the way she did it was amazing. She displayed such maturity in her words and thoughts. I told her she is super awesome

Be well and happy Qinzhi!

Missed the bus, but hey

Missed the bus, but hey

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I did all I can at my best, prepared all the brews, breakfast and lunch for HuaiHao , did raindrop for him and headed out for my reiki 2 class.

Before I decided, the tired feeling came on.

Now that I journal, I just know—— it is not mine. But the husband is going thru his cycle. Unconscious to it .

All along when HuaiHao is not feeling well, he would stay clear and not be responsive. He would side step and I would handle.

This time too. But today as I was deliberating if I should stay at home or head for class, I decided the latter.

The hub has gone back to bed- a sign that he is switching off and going back into his old mode.

So I would make room, consciously for him to go through the process. What is different is that, as opposed to telling him what to do, letting him know what I prepared, instructing him as to how he should act ie to take responsible, I left after letting HuaiHao know what he can expect from what I have prepared.

I will leave my expectations somewhere there, with room for them to play it out. Rather, for the daddy to be guided by the son. Or rather, for the divine to set things in order.

For all that I need to know, will be revealed to me in divine order. And all that I need, is taken care of by the universe.

I see them breakthrough. And it will be different from the past.

And so it is.

I popped down and saw the drizzle and went back upwards to get an umbrella. When I went down the drizzle was somewhat gone. I feel light and reiki love outwards.

Then I saw the bus I was aiming for pass me by.

I shouldn’t have went back up for the umbrella! I thought.

But as I was nearing the bus stop, I saw the outline of another bus, and that is the bus for me. Less crowded. And I got the space and the feeling to journal this down.

Sometimes, missing a bus might not be that bad because a better one comes by.

Like what the Dalai Lama says, sometimes missing something is a blessing.