Month: September 2023

Inspirations From A Run (XVI)

Inspirations From A Run (XVI)

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Somehow somewhere in the run , something in my wanted to go forward

And I understand this as – my soul having the desire to go forward

To get out of the present

More accurately, to rise.

Writing now- the idea or realization came to me that I have at one point in time, stopped myself.

And even now with the opening of this regional role, I was still asking myself or cautioning myself lots

Out of a habit of having been in duty for a while

The second important thing that came to me, was the idea that I could make new cells

While I kept my mind on healing releasing , my body showed me how she is healing me so miraculously- such as when the keloid has a burst and healed nicely

I saw John yesterday and he said there was a lot of frustration and pent up energy that needs to be moved

So in the run, somehow I came to the idea that I could ask my body to make new cells healthy happy ones just by being present and open to the gift of sunlight wind and air from nature

This morning as I walked towards the bridge, an auntie whom I saw at the fitness corner smiled to me as usual

And I loved it

I love it because she was there. And I m happy she was there. If the old folks were there – if the old folks are well

It brings me to the idea of gratitude to have the opportunity to be here and to do this

I asked teacher Stephen for his advice and he said this –

“at home it is safe and comfortable a great place to be and laz around. But inside there is a yearning to explore discover express and communicate with others. Your voice can, must be heared and seen. Your heart and mind need to a challenge and that in itself is a tool of healing and it can open many doors and paths you can’t even imagine yet.

Whatever your decision is I will support it.”

He is right about the inside which wants to explore discover express and communicate

Need I say, the run was good

And I saw green birds having fun in the sky

As if to say- don’t take it so seriously, how about approaching it with a light heart. And with the attitude of having fun as I explore?

And I have never ever had this idea. And this shows to me how much I have moved

Inspirations From A Run (XV)

Inspirations From A Run (XV)

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I was wanting some answers.

And the intention was to open up to receive divine healing guidance support

And somehow the message that came through was – irregardless, let it be in support of my healing, whether it be for the keloids or anything

Let whatever I do – be the healing tool

I kind of feel zapped this morning when I woke. Because the people I worked with- they were really demanding of my time and attention

And when I supported them, I kind of lost some of my energy

It came to me this morning that this happened and I was giving too much too quickly

That being said, I am glad this understanding found me.

And also this message

So if I was able to derive something out of whatever I did, letting everything be a reflection of me and me learning something out of it and getting a clearer perspective- it would have served my purpose

An opportunity for a regional commission has come up for me.

I want to know if I should pursue this

My dear divine, my dear self- give me all the guidance and let me make the choice which serves my highest good

Om!

Inspirations From A Run (XIV)

Inspirations From A Run (XIV)

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I intended the practice to be a time to open up and receive guidance for the questions I have and for the healing I need

And as usual it was awesome

Learning to make time for myself is one of the best things I can/have done for myself

To make space, just to be with myself

And I came to know how blessed I am, looking at the times I ran the same route and have nothing on my mind

I saw an article by Cedric Grolet and he says that he is creative because he is free.

I love this

I look back at the times when there is nothing else hanging on my heart and I ran

Besides thanking the divine for the opportunity, I thank myself for opening up to this opportunity

And I ask the divine to bring me people things opportunities that serve me in my highest good and to land me in a better place- one that is of healthfulness, vitality, happiness, harmony, peace, creativity, freedom

If everything is energy, we are creating with our thoughts words heart energy.

Of late, I particularly enjoy a simple qigong movement where you feel the energy between both hands and move from left to right

As I was doing it, I felt like I was adjusting my life. Purposefully moving things about in my life, whether it be the health aspect or career, family .

There is no need to fix things or speak to anyone to change anything of I can mindfully move things about, and to feel peaceful with this

And there were so many times I felt goosebumps when I spoke to my cells- let’s open up and receive healing love and light from nature now , from these gifts of nature. Be open to it, to receive. To bask in this.

Om

10 Years 8 Months

10 Years 8 Months

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Huaihao is almost finished with P4, and a big boy already

One weekend, I convinced him to walk with me, treated him to toast and eggs and chocolate and he became my helper when i did grocery.

I love being in the sun, and happy that the little one is with me in the breeze

MBS sent me mooncakes and Huaihao is channeling the foodie, he did a video to unbox and had fun tasting

And this is him doing my moynat a catwalk service

I love it when he comes to me at the computer, knowing i m busy, he would hug me massage me kiss me

I spoke to HuaiHao and told him I was feeling slightly down, and I like to speak to him and he is almost like a friend now. One day I told him i m feeling down and he came to me, sat on my thighs and hugged me close.

His words were, “ you can’t please everybody.”

Wow.

At bedtime, I asked him if I was doing alright for the interview and he went, no. After which he said, “ I take that back. I mean, so what if people don’t like you. I mean, what can you do about it? And what has it got to do with you? You got to carry on living right?”

And then he said, “in your books, your world can be square.”

I tried to make sure he knew what he was saying. So I asked.

”it means in your world, you can do anything you like.”

On another occasion, I showed him two pieces of my work and ask him to critique and he said of my original- people in business don’t need flowery language, they don’t have time for it and they just want to get to the point.

you don’t need the words and phrases the words and phrases need you

One night , we spoke as usual and I asked HuaiHao to give me an advice he feels like- he thought for a while and said, “ touch grass when you need to. It means take a break whenever you need. It’s important to take small breaks you know.”

HuaiHao slept next to me and when I came to sleep at 2am he was roused. He opened his eyes , cupped my face in his hands and moved to kiss me

I only asked myself to bathe in that love

Another night,

I used to ask HuaiHao how is his day when we lay in the bed and now I find it surprising that he is asking me that

I told him all about mine and the littlest things. Such as asking the COMO hotel GM to tell us about her after she gave us a tour of the property. And that was what I learnt from Cedric Grolet ‘s interview when he talked about his parents teaching him to value relationships and to treat others with respect

I shared with HuaiHao a quote a saw,

Afterwards we talked about my life waking up. He noted that a while ago, I was in a lull and not doing anything but now I am busy

Life kind of switched me on and we were discussing where I got to in quick time, interviewing Cedric Grolet and writing for SCMP and getting into the game again

Huaihao: So for this, you shouldnt take the elevator.

Me: What elevator?

Huaihao: So what I meant was, it would not work if you had taken shortcuts.

Me: But you always did that!

But it’s so nice to talk about this

And when I got busy at the computer, HuaiHao always came and massaged me kissed me. One time he shared this comic with me

I read it with him and laughed and he said that’s the whole point!

That was him letting me take a breather

And when we need total photos for passport, we totally enjoyed it

I love it also when I am out and Huaihao calls me to check on me. What time are you coming back?

And this is us going to gengyan jiujiu’s house and getting a home cooked meal.

One time we chat and its always about the cube of late. We spoke about the algorithms and I asked Huaihao how many he has mastered.

“You see mommy, I have xxxxx to do zzzz to do yyyy to do and I still have my work at McDonald’s”

“Huh and what is that?”

“It’s humour mom humour! Let me find yours back for you?”

Wishing HuaiHao lots of bright moments like these !

14 Years 7 Months

14 Years 7 Months

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Is it almost October ?

I love how Qinzhi throws her hands open and ask for hugs

One morning Qinzhi woke up and went to exercise. And I am so proud of her and her decision

HuaiHao and I saw her at the canal and I shouted out her name

And we texted each other and happened to do the same thing at the same time. That is taking a photo of each other

And on another occasion she gave a squeal because her composition got selected and featured

Somehow or other , Qinzhi is taking up a path of writing and I know she can be a good writer. The basic qualities of one is to be able to experience, interpret and express emotions . And she does it better than me.

And this point brings me to understand yet again how parents inspire children. Often times, there are aspects of us which echo our parents, and in big and little ways, we are “inspired “

But how can we apply awareness so that we zoom in on the good and not let the “can be better “ affect us?

And before long, Qinzhi is in her last leg of secondary two. In a few weeks she is going to take her exams and be in upper secondary- a senior.

I think this year Qinzhi learnt a lot about managing emotions. And how emotions affect her physical well being- in almost painful ways

I hope she has a clear understanding of how the ways the mind affects the body and can achieve better control .

And need I say- this has to start from us parents?

One night I was busy at work and Qinzhi texted me this

I love how she says it. She wants it and says it. Many times we don’t dare to ask from our parents what we want- what we do want. But Qinzhi and HuaiHao does it daringly. Almost teaching me . And of course I did it what she wanted.

We have bonded so well over kpop we enjoy watching it together and make plans to watch shows on Netflix together going nuts about kpop idols . I want to even take her to see someone we both like if there is an opportunity and be a little bit crazy

On a Saturday, Qinzhi’s friends come home and she did a dance practice with them. And I love it. It was something I didn’t really do when I was younger in my teens and happy she gets to experience what it feels like to do things she enjoys with friends

And even happier I made friends with hers

I can’t wait for Qinzhi to finish her exams so I can spend some time with her, brunch, shopping doing girly things

May Qinzhi be always protected , guided and blessed by the divine .

Question /Answer

Question /Answer

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This is really beautiful

“Have patience with everything that remains unsolved in your heart. Try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books written in a foreign language. Do not now look for the answers. They cannot now be given to you because you could not live them. It is a question of experiencing everything. At present you need to live the question. Perhaps you will gradually, without even noticing it, find yourself experiencing the answer, some distant day.”
Rainer Maria Rilke – Letters to a Young Poet, 1903.

Edward Robert Hughes – A Young Beauty, 1875.

Prayer of St Francis

Prayer of St Francis

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Came across this while watching a clip on George Yeo. He spoke at the launch of his book and shared about the last chapter he wrote.

He wanted to find the meaning of life, and that equates somewhat to finding god . He said the quest to be spiritual – while it appears to be less important as science progresses, – should have been more, and he shared this prayer :

“Lord, make me an instrument of your peace: where there is hatred, let me sow love; where there is injury, pardon; where there is doubt, faith; where there is despair, hope; where there is darkness, light; where there is sadness, joy.

O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console; to be understood as to understand; to be loved as to love.”

Hokkien Mee

Hokkien Mee

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Dad brought the kids to have Hokkien Mee cooked by his good friend Thye Hong

And the connection with uncle was rekindled because I previously wrote about it in my column and someone saw it and showed him

And dearest Qinzhi updated me about her eating Hokkien Mee

It’s such a precious connection and I tear reading Qinzhi’s texts

So many years has gone by

How would the noodles taste. But my daughter is tasting what I have tasted.

How blessed that is.

And I get it. I think if I were to be there myself, I would cry eating uncle’s noodles

And I know my father would have wanted to bring me.

There is no healing food cannot do

The soul in his eyes shine

The soul in his eyes shine

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Ang Li have such a beautiful speech as he presented the Lifetime Achievement Award to Tony Leung.

The speech here in its entirety

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=R_X7hfPjI7k

World cinema knows Tony mostly as the romantic lead from Wong Kar-wai’s intoxicating movies but little did they know the range of roles this superstar plays, from arthouse to international blockbusters. Whether it’s broad comedy, action, or serious drama, he always delivers enchanting performances and is one of the most beloved actors among Asian audiences.

He holds so many awards and honors, all of them very much deserved, because any movie can be elevated simply by his presence. Speaking from my personal experience, Tony is a director’s dream. There is something in his eyes that’s electrifying, not just his physical eyes or skill(s) but the soul that shines through them. He can say more in one look than many actors can with a full monologue. That’s a soul that can entice you to dream and imagine through him.

He’s the kind of actor who lures the best and the worst out of you, which for a director is actually the same thing. It’s hard to articulate, but it’s like your secret self, even a struggle and confusion that you’re hiding, comes to life right in front of your eyes that forces you to deal with it honestly. The deeper he dives into a role, the more he seduces you to push for more, and that takes a part of you. I can only imagine that he likes the suffering as an artist.

There was a day on set on my movie “Lust Caution” when I had a meltdown because of an emotional scene. Tony walked up to me, he touched my shoulder, whispered in my ears, “Director, we expose skin, you expose something else, you have to take care of yourself.” We always think that directors help actors, but sometimes it’s the other way around. That really gave me strength. It’s both terrifying and meaningful when someone that good and genuine embodies a hidden part of you.

His willingness to constantly share that vulnerability is what makes him so great. It appears to me he doesn’t do it for the credit. He’s like water, filling the lowest places without striving, and he serves. (上善若水。水善利万物而不争，处众人之所恶，故几于道) He facilitates the creative force, not just for the director but the whole cast and crew. He does his own stand-ins for lighting because, you know, this saves time. Instead of going to his trailer in between setups, he will stand around on set to watch people work. One time I asked him, “Why don’t you go rest?” He said, “I want to see how I can help.” I told him, “Don’t waste your energy, because I need you to shine on camera.” He said, “Chatting or gossip wastes Chi, reading makes my eyes lose their luster, and sleep is boring, so I watch people to see where I can help.”

There was another time he got to our cinematographer Rodrigo Prieto. We were staging a shot where Tony opens the door and looks in, and the camera pulled focus from the opening door to a close-up of his face. It was an extremely difficult shot to get right technically and with the sparkling performances. Rodrigo came up to me with tears in his eyes because Tony had asked him, “Where should I be?” He said, “I’ve had a long career and shot all around the world. Nobody ever asked me that question. People just don’t know how hard that shot is.” If that’s not a filmmaker’s dream, what is?

When you’re that talented and you have the natural look, that’s a gift. But to share it with kindness and to facilitate it in others, time and again, that’s a lifetime achievement. Being a great actor demands a love of the craft, and being a star requires you to function as inspiration for others, like a kind of modern royalty. Tony does both outstandingly well. He provokes our imagination that we can all dream through him. It’s a certain spirit I wish I could articulate and present to you, but I can’t because it’s beyond words.

I just feel so lucky to have been a small part of that magic, that bigger picture that we’re here to celebrate today. It is my great joy to present this Lifetime Achievement Award on the 80th birthday of the Venice Film Festival to Tony Leung.

And Tony Leung said,

“Ang, I know you will make me cry. Can you give me a minute? Thank you so much, Ang, for such lovely compliments, especially coming out from my most respected director and a very good friend of mine. And, uh, thank you, Venice International Film Festival. This is really a great honor.

First and foremost, I would love to express my gratitude to my dearest wife, Carina Lau, for her love and constant support, my family, my friends, and fans all over the world. I am so grateful to have been raised in Hong Kong as well as being nurtured later by the Hong Kong movie industry in general, where my acting career began. And I also want to share this honor and give thanks to all those wonderful people who I have worked with over the past 41 years because this is a tribute to them as well. And of course, to Hong Kong cinema. Thank you very much. Gracias.”