
Is it the work of the super moon?
A few days back I started feeling the floatiness and grogginess
These two days it’s been feeling really full
Was talking to HuaiHao at bedtime on where to travel to. How about a trip on food and nothing else?
And somehow I started sharing about the experience I had at L’Arpege and how bf couldn’t appreciate anything because “he doesn’t need it”
He was obviously sore about being there and I felt so wronged with the good intentions I had
I told HuaiHao , yet three star Michelin food was just beneath my eyes. I couldn’t reconcile those complex feelings
Talking about this with HuaiHao kind of helped these feelings progress. Move in fact . I asked HuaiHao how I felt, and he said: heartbroken
Wow
How can he be so perceptive?
He says dad has a shield that nothing can go through.
Finding a listener in this little one, I told him how his dad got mad at Eiffel Tower and how he kind of destroyed my Paris – every woman’s dream – with his anger
It kind of made me realize – taking all this back to me- how much I wanted to , I expected of others to agree with me. And when others couldn’t , especially if people close to me couldn’t resonate as much as I like them to- there’s a kind of loneliness that can be really dampening
And I remember seeing these
Lots of beautiful quotes in here such as:
Loneliness is a valuable feeling. Artists need to know how to walk alone.
Is it the full moon that is helping these to move?
May all that doesn’t support our forward journey be released
May we all step into our power
May we all be blessed , divinely protected and guided.

I tried to reflect on myself. Especially after the things I learnt in Buddhist studies .
Like how we create our world our realities from our beliefs
Did I come to think that women in the families are always not appreciated ? Like in grandma’s case nanny’s mom’s
What else did I believe in to make this come true ? I wonder
And when we spoke the day after. HuaiHao asked is I was sad.
And how was I to react.
He asked me, “ and what do you feel like doing?”
I asked him for advice and he says, find a window.
And he adds, “ I mean you find another way if the door is closed.”
Wow
I said to him that I did not really want to do anything because I have been the proactive one all the while and if someone is sincere about a relationship , there would have been another expression
And HuaiHao says, “ pa has probably forgotten everything “
And then adds, “ but it’s your world, it could be a square a triangle a rectangle and it be named anything. I mean, you can create anything you want. You can paint it any colour or do anything you want.”
“And you first. Prioritize you first, not anyone else.
He touched me tremendously.
And it brings me to a recent interview I did.
“I’ll stop work if I do not feel good, for the simple reason that if I cannot make myself happy, how will I be able to bring happiness to others?”




















































