See You In My 19th Life

See You In My 19th Life

https://www.netflix.com/th-en/title/81671426

Chanced upon this new kpop drama at the time I picked up Buddhist studies at Tibet House

The teachings were profound and spoke of the law of cause and effect which governed the universe- and life

The teachings spoke of mental afflictions like attachments aversions and ignorance and how we keep ourselves in samsaric existence in the wheel of life

That was what the kpop drama is about

Ji Eum is in her 19th life and she remembers all the other lifetimes

Because of her attachments she couldn’t let go of, she actively courts the people who were dear to her in her last lifetime like Seo Ha whom she loves, like her sister Cho won whom she loves

When emotions got intense Ji Eum lets her truth out to Cho won and Seo Ha

But there was one dream that coming to her and that was something she had to piece together

Kang is another young man who provided the clue to this dream. He placed the shaman’s bells in Ji Eum’s room and she gets to go back to her first life

By and by she saw what happened, piecing things together bit by bit

She saw how Kang in her first life killed Cho won and herself , and how Seo ha protected her

Most of all she saw how she, in a fit of anger, in a crucial moment, vowed to remember this hatred and to come back

When she saw it was herself that bound herself to the past, she broke down.

It wasn’t anyone else who tied her down. While she was looking for the killer who killed her sister and herself, she realised that it was non other than herself who bonded herself to this lifetime, it was her who stopped herself from breaking away or breaking up

It was herself who cursed herself

“It was me. I bound myself to it. Because I was enraged.”

And who brought herself into existence over and over again

Wow

Wow

Wow

And the title to this final episode reads, “ the one who ties the knot has to untie it”

The drama used an analogy this way.

Her niece in her last lifetime is sick and Kang tells her there is a way to saving her

He seeks redemption and asks for forgiveness

And delivers the message that –

If and only if Ji Eum forgets everything and all memories fall apart and there is no trace of remembering anyone she is attached to

If she chooses this path, her niece would be saved. Conversely if she chooses to remember, Cho won and Seo ha whom she loves dearly will suffer the same fate

Ji Eum rationalizes over this and try as she might she does not want to forget

She asks, “ what can I share if I forget”

In her agony it was Seo ha who came to her and assures her that even if she does not recognize him, he will come to her

Ji Eum seems to have decided and went to her house in her previous lifetime

She hugs her mother who seems to know that Ji Eum is in fact her beloved daughter who has passed away and has come back- a promise her daughter made to her

Ji Eum finally went to the bridge in her first life where she was killed, shaman bells in her hand

And she met her in her first life and is asked how she feels

Ji Eum says she is happy

A carefree heart that is ready to forget everything

And four words- All is good now

And the drama shows that she is renewed and has no more memory of Seo ha and Cho won

Instead, the tides have changed and in turn Cho won and Seo ha now court her back

Ji Eum is a new piece of paper with the memories gone

I love how the story brings the theme of acceptance and making peace out

If we live and breathe without acceptance, we are essentially living the past in the now

Recycling attachments emotions and creating more afflictions and mental defilements to further lock ourselves- and our loved ones in samsara

So much pain misery and suffering

But even so – like how Ji Eum finds it hard to choose to forget

And rather hangs on in pain

The drama shows that there is a way out

And that if we forget – actually , if we choose to accept we can start off on a clean slate

Life is lighter and simpler

And this is exactly what the Buddhist teachings are proposing

That we all have the potential and freedom to choose at every moment in time

To steer ourselves away from mental afflictions and to go closer towards wisdom

It is in the sway of emotions that we hang on to something of the past. In this clinging and grasping, we hurt ourselves more than anyone else

I look at myself in inspection

I have been wanting to “get rid” of the past- by not looking at it, by not touching it

Thinking that this is the way out

But it is so wrong

Making peace with oneself is not like that

Making peace means a carefree open heart and a feeling of freedom

I wish this for everyone for all beings to experience this openness and freedom in one way or another, at one time or another

May all beings be well and happy.

I told bf about this show and how Ji Eum’s dilemma to forget reminds me of mom who told dad at her deathbed that she wants to come back to him again and be his wife

I said any kind of pain is disregarded in her love for she still wants to be with dad

And bf asked, “how do you know it is all painful to her? You do not know what they went thru together. It’s only your perspective you see but you do not know the full story “

Indeed, I saw only the painful bits and took that as the whole

My perspective led me to the reality of a pain

Bf’s question got me thinking- a lot of people said mom loved dad more , but what if she got the love of her life from dad? That is why she is so giving too

Whatever the case, bf’s question had the effect of piercing through a dream and to break it up

And I saw how my one sided incomplete perspective led me into a dream. Is my heart carefree enough to forget this everything that is?

I tried to say “All is good now”

Yes all is good now

And if you were to see this from a larger perspective, the lifetimes actually could happen in one . They just refer to the past that one cannot let go of and keeps recycling

Oh And let’s just say the ost is so very nice too

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=mctjoaC68h0

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