We took off to Fukuoka during the March school holidays, it was originally dad and mom but we decided on japan and the kids wanted to tag along, and he trip came about.

I feel really thankful that we could do this, all conditions that were needed met, that is why.

A while ago, Qinzhi was feeling less than ready, stress with school work and friends gave her headaches and giddiness. To top it off, she said sometimes she had “stone stone”

That was her way of escaping or rather, her way of coping with things she couldn’t handle. She tended to run away into another space or reality. And would come back when she is feeling more steady. Its a bad habit actually and she is mirroring her dad, who would run into his cave whenever angered or triggered.

I really hope Qinzhi can change this coping mechanism earlier than later -for her own good.

I was worried for a while seeing her deal with her headaches, but I was reminded of what Chef Cheung said to me, 儿孙自有儿孙福. Its a chinese saying, that emphasises how we as parents cannot control or mind too much, and that our descendants have a path of their own , blessings of their own to reap.

It took me a while to settle at that and to let loose.

And we went on our trip. And I shared with them the intention of it, to create happy memories. And we did.

Our first stop is Yanagawa, venice of the east in japan with canals and waterways galore. Eel is a specialty produce here and we stopped by Ganso Motoyoshiya, an atmospheric inn which started steaming rice with a blend of sauce in bamboo seiros, topping it off with charcoal smoked eel on top, and a serving of eel liver on the side in clear soup. This restaurant put together this combination in 1681. And if anything, this is a taste of time.

We headed to our first accommodation of the trip at Yamaga where the kids had a lovely kaiseki dinner and next day breakfast. Soaking in hot spring is also something they look forward to now .

A lovely feature of this accommodation is a centrepiece where hot coal is available to grill your own marshmallow.

The next day we drove down south to Miyazaki and toured Takachiho Gorge, the kids had a go at rowing a boat.

After which we had nagashi somen, or flowing noodles. These were really totally new experiences the kids savoured. The next day we headed to Kusasenri, which offered a great view of Aso, and true enough the expanse offered so much relief it was calming to be on this land, walking on the soft carpet of burnt grass.

I came to know that the Japanese have been practising the act of controlled burning on grasslands in this area from February till April in a bid to keep trees and shrubs off the land so cows and horses could graze. This act of noyahki has been for thousands of years. On our way down, we saw cows grazing indeed and took a few moments to be near. Afterwards heading for Daikanbo, another lookout which offers a panoramic 360 degree view of Aso.

Soon enough the next day arrived and we drove to Itoshima. The search for Shiraito Falls was a challenging one as we kept driving but couldnt get there and once we got there, we couldnt quite drive out of the mountain.

As soon as we did, we did a pit stop at Itoshima’s oyster huts, had a little barbecue.

The final day was spent walking about in Fukuoka city and we visited the temple of tochoji, did a little light up and prayed before a wooden buddha in front of us.

We shopped till the shops close, had lots of wonderful sweets, then prepared for flying off the next day.

We came home to a next day of dinner at Summer Pavilion to celebrate grandpa and gengyan juju’s birthday.

But 2 days after we came home, the kids got themselves into a delicious fight too, just spewing out harsh words at each other, breaking up peace and calm. Daddy had a part to play too in joining in. And we did rounds after rounds of talking at our round table—with the intention of resolving the conflict.

And I learned a few things.

-That the kids mirror us, what we do not like about their behaviour has been a reminder to us to set our own paths straight.

-Qinzhi kept hinging on how her chinese teacher called her name wrongly. We went back to the instant when her teacher called her name wrongly and the class laughed, and she laughed with them. I kind of get it. You are angry at yourself for that decision , out of conformity , wanting to be in a group, actually—-wanting to be recognised, you lose a part of yourself to join them. But deep at heart, you bash yourself up for that decision. Because you gave your power away and did not acknowledge yourself .

We encourage her to write to her teacher and principal to address this if it really mattered that much to her.

The question is- how many times did we do that? That thing of giving our own power away? Out of many reasons.

When was the last time I did that to myself, giving my power away? Each time we do not speak our truth or went with someone else’s idea and suppressed our own, we give a bit of ourselves away. No matter how big or how small.

I kind of thanked Qinzhi for this reminder, because I gave myself away to the family, and stopped living my truth and light when I decided to quit. And what is my truth what is my light? How do I reclaim myself back and to get others to see me in my own light, brighter and shinier than ever?

What do I do?

-And seeing Qinzhi having to grapple with different issues made me see how I at many levels is grappling with my own too. It boils down to us all needing to take better care of ourselves being more aware and appreciative of ourselves.

So many truths coming to light. And it feels like being on ground zero and starting out all over again. Need I say, I am thankful of this opportunity ?

This opportunity to build oneself.