HuaiHao found himself having a sore throat and fever.

And I did what I did and bf did what he did. We circled back into the cycle and that got me really worked up.

I found myself shutting him out and off – for him saying the things he said and doing the things he used to.

I feel anger and all of those I stored up- each time the kid was not well he said the same – did the same- all of those.

I feel so pent up that I was dizzying away and I knew energies were imbalanced

Was tired out . I was almost shutting down and shutting off had it not been for the need to care for HuaiHao

I feel so blocked and uncomfortable my stomach area was not really digesting and today I woke up with my little finger numb.

If something is in pain or numb it means the circulation is bad and the flow isn’t ideal

As I walked – I just find that I needed to get out for a walk and to do some release,

And it occurred to me that pent up energies is stored there in the little finger. So I kept doing circulatory movements to get the flow

Kept breathing in and letting stale energies flow out from there

Was belching a lot

Yesterday somehow while I was itching and scratching at the keloids , it occurred to me that I had the tendency to harden and stiffen myself up each time I met with a not so ideal situation

To handle or manage a particular time, I stiffen and harden myself up clench my teeth to meet with it head on

And yes of late I realise I have been clenching my teeth a lot a lot unconsciously and I been doing my best to undo this clench

Hardening up and stiffening has been my modus operandi and my body showed that to me to wake me up in the form of the keloids the inherent spirit – because the body is a reflection of the mind!

Showing to me how I force my way out clenching my teeth tightening my jaws and body to fighting a way out

With this realization —-/I feel immensely thankful.

Thankful and full of gratitude to the divine and most of all to my body for supporting me all the while the way it did and doing the best for me

I want to change

I am willing to change

Nothing needs to be forced. No strength is needed to get things going.

I Release This Old Mode Of Living By Force, Of Driving Myself By Force, By Hardening Up Stiffening Myself Up

I choose to soften to go with the flow to breathe in to be comfortable with whatever life brings me. Because I know – everything is happening for me, everything I need is taken care of by the divine . And that I m always divinely protected guided and loved.

There is nothing I cannot do and everything is possible.

Om