Daddy’s mentor Glenn Lim organised a family camp and we took part. Nothing is coincidence as I know it, when I arrived I intended that this 3d2n session be truly transformative and healing for us.

Guess what?

It worked exactly the way I intended.

This was us heading over.

The first night there was an ice breaker session for the 5 families, after which the kids had a session with the mentors and wrote parents letters from their heart. This was what Qinzhi and Huaihao wrote, So daddy had been angry for a few days, and “stayed in his cave”, so Qinzhi was inspired to write this. After the camp, we had a dinner and sat down to chat, she said she wrote it because she wanted her dad to know the “pain we are going through, its like I m swearing inside me, if you are upset just say, why must you just keep quiet? “

And Huaihao added, “if you want to be out, you have to tell us where you are going so that we will not worry”

We also explored the 5 love languages

Day 2 was a games day. Families went back to kampung or village times and played games like 5 stones, pick up sticks, we folded paper aeroplanes and flew them, played zero point (challenged heights held by a rubber band rope) and used our legs to kick a featherpult

The last day, Glenn set the tone by first telling us about his rebellious youth and how he, who came from a broken family realised and found himself. For his life that has gone bad, his words were that, “i did not blame my family because life is like that, its messy”

Out of prison, he healed his family relationships. And went on to take a new life exploring psychology and psychosocial behaviour. He said he was glad to be able to tell his father that he love him and made up before his father passed on.

He next showed 2 videos, one of which is this, the semi-final of the Men’s 400 metres sprint where British Olympian Derek Redmond tore his hamstring and still finished the race limping while the crowd in the stadium gave him a standing ovation. Although Great Britains Redmond was disqualified and listed as “Did Not Finish” due to the outside assistance of his father finishing the race, this very inspirational race has become a well-remembered and inspirational moment in Olympic history – !

The world over, in headlines reported how he finished the race with his father

I was totally in tears—-because his father was with him. I thought of mine.

Glenn wanted to show that the kids had their internal struggles and it was important for parents to be with them.

Next he showed a video speaking of a parent’s hidden struggles, that of a little girl whose father lied to her https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f9kqjsH–do

The girl thought the world about her father, but realised that the father lied about having enough, having money, lied about his other life of struggling with work to make ends meet to make her happy. The last sentence was “my father lied because of me”

Seeing this made me break down.

It made me think of mine, yes my father lied to me too, and in a way, it was because of me, too. And those few moments of light and clarity made me know that this camp had turned out exactly the way I intended.

Then it was the kids turn to present and read to us what they wrote, Qinzhi broke down reading the first sentence. And it made me tear too. Those few moments, I could feel that she was thankful for me and what a journey we had gone through.

Qinzhi and Huaihao made me a better person than I was before I had them. And having them in my life, these teachers—I had never thought of them as little but as my equal all along—being a parent made me a better child.

In fact, bf had wanted me to see Glenn because he felt that I had to settle and heal the parts I have yet to so that I can be truly myself.

I think the 2 commercials and his sharing delivered the divine’s message to me.

After the camp when we had dinner and spoke to the kids about these 2 commercials, Huaihao and Qinzhi said this, “the daddy is a good and bad daddy because he lied”

I explained that no parents would want to lie to their precious kids . In the commercial, the daddy as well, he didn’t want the kid to worry and to have a happy childhood, that was why he shouldered the tough life. He did it all for his child he held so dear.

And Qinzhi and Huaihao added, “but I rather he said it as it is and be honest about it,”

Because that is what a family does-to be together.

And I remember very well. I said the exact same words to Mr Ng too about dad when left us. I said to Mr Ng too, that we could have gone through it all together as a family, and he needn’t hide from us–his family.

Huaihao was me and I was Huaihao, we echoed the same thoughts. And this video was powerful to show me that my dad lied to me, because of me. That was the point of difference. For me. Because of me. And how can I still, have the heart of blame?

It was as if—the muddy cleared up in a split second and all the anguish pain suffering frustration hate anger —–was blown off.

In that sense, this camp has been doing the work for me. Truly thankful. Utmost thankful.