Month: January 2021

Your Guardian Angel

Your Guardian Angel

by yellownblac ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

Love this I read this morning!

“Everyone is allocated a Guardian Angel to look after them through all their incarnations. They are our loving companions, constantly watching over us.

Our Guardian Angels hold the picture of our Divine Perfection and constantly whisper it to us, impressing us with the HIGHEST choices we can make.Guardian Angels will constantly nudge us to remember the highest truth of who and what we are. More than this, if we wander off course, they will be there gently nudging us back onto the path.

Indeed, I have seen Guardian Angels of people and who see their charges making the same old mistakes over and over again, rolling their eyes and saying: “There they go again!”

Yet, their love is unconditional and thus will go with you no matter what you do, nor what happens to you.Guardian Angels can open the doors of new opportunities for us and arrange the amazing and magical synchronicities which are so helpful in our lives.

If you have difficulties with communicating forgiveness or understanding to someone, then you may call in your Guardian Angels and ask them to communicate with the other person’s Guardian Angels and ask them to talk to that person, and convey the desire for forgiveness, peace or dissolving of conflict. This works on many levels, for subconsciously that person will pick up the guidance from their guardian angels, and matters are resolved much more quickly. If the person is even at a great distance, then these matters can be cleared up. Indeed, you will often find that everything sorts itself out in amazing ways, and suddenly doors of communication open, which were closed before. Judith Kusel” http://www.judithkusel.com

8 Yrs

8 Yrs

by yellownblac ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

Huaihao is 8.

I cant believe it. I just told him at a bedtime chat that he was 51cm when he was born and such a tiny baby at 2.4kg.

I told him that this time 8 years back, Mommy was a heft 80 kg carrying him, wondering what exactly he will be popping out as he is already past due date.

And I told him that Huaihao has grown to be a fine young boy and has to take care of himself well and to cherish himself .

What I didn’t tell him is that he’s grown to be a little man now, challenging me in a big and little ways. And many times of late. Huaihao is a fluent speaker and extremely quick witted at his age, always turning any argument in his favour in the shortest time, with his aggressive ways.

If you disagreed, he would pursue until you agreed.

He probably is teaching me.

He loves for me to listen to him. And I think this is what I like to. I like to express myself and to have someone listen to me. So i try my best to listen —wholeheartedly to Huaihao.

Huaihao knows how to wring you around, it felt as if he were twirling you round and round his little finger.

It takes a lot of composure and a lot of patience to be talking to Huaihao. If he catches you at a time of your low, he would be sucking every ounce of energy out of you.

But this very thing of him is what makes him a great teacher to me. To remind me to be mindful and to train my patience.

Other times when he is good, he is sweet as he can be, he cups my face in his tiny hands and plants kisses on my lips, locks his hands over my shoulders and rests his face against mine

One night on the bed:

#yehuaihao : Mommy, can you not buy me a cake? Just get me a quail cake.Me: haven’t heard of that.#yehuaihao : why? it’s nothing else but a cake made of quail eggs.

At Christmas, I was going out to work and he and Qinzhi made me a note:

They got their presents from the lovely folks who shower them with love each year.

And to this day, he works at transforming his Lego lots. Insisting on telling me about his creations.

On 31st Dec 2020, he went out with me to shop for steamboat ingredients and we had a such great time being together.

And i bought a box of organic mango oranges which he loves.

One weekend, we made an offering to Bhante and Sister—both nice kind wise souls.

The next day, we were out exercising and having brunch.

We stopped by a little snail as Qinzhi observed and got inspired: Huaihao says “slowly but surely” and Qinzhi’s takeaway seeing the little animal make its way was “Never giving up”

We walked all the way to Nicoll Highway and then exited to Millenia Walk, had brunch and then continued on to search for furniture and having a cup of bubble tea.

And before we knew it, the holidays are over.

Was on the bus back from Pasir Panjang and got a call from Home. It’s Huaihao alright. The very sound of his voice, bright and sparkly, healed me almost immediately. Like fuel. We chat a little on the phone and I find myself alive again. Thank you for calling me Huaihao.

Asked Huaihao what he would like for his birthday and he really wanted to have the Flying Noodles. So we will do that!

And he wanted an oreo cake

In the everday, we continued to write notes to each other.

One Saturday, the three of us headed out, on our march to gardens by the bay from East Coast, the whole 15km took us about 1.5hours. But first, a swing and a little play to soak up all the goodness the spring morning presents.

Then we ran, jogged, walked

Before long, we are already at Millenia Walk, having scrambled eggs, toast, hotdog and bacon

We bad a great time at the National Museum, going backwards in time, checking out what time it was like in grandpa’s teens, my teens …

Dear Huaihao wants to have rock melon cake. I sifted through so many cake websites to find something he might like. Amongst them, an oreo cake, a red velvet, a yuzu cake, but he finally set his eyes on a rock melon cake.

And he is happy.

When I see Huaihao happy, I am reminded to be happy. We are mirrors to each other and we are inspired and motivated by each other.

I seldom give Huaihao gifts, but on Huaihao’s birthday, I went to get Huaihao a watch.

Huaihao gave me a hug after reading and I will remember this smile on his face.

Then I brought Huaihao to get his cake before heading over to Auntie Linda’s for his Flying Noodles. And he had 2 servings! And Auntie Linda gave Huaihao an angpow.

We all sang Huaihao the Happy Birthday song and Huaihao was so happy!

I love love love love love the smile on Huaihao’s face

The next day happens to be Huaihao’s Lunar Birthday, and he was celebrated so much at nanny’s house with the folks who see him grow up ever since he was born.

On Huaihao’s birthday, I told Huaihao the meaning of his name, bearing light.

Dearest Huaihao, may you always be well and happy, healthy and shiny. May you be the light upon yourself and unto others.

I love you so very much.

So, who is the most important?

So, who is the most important?

by yellownblac ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

A while ago, teacher asked me this question

I said this:

“

I think the divine or god or the buddhas are important in this universe —to guide, bless and protect us

to remind us that we are in their image or that we also have buddha nature. To remind us about the wonders, the love, the compassion, the grace, the wisdom

but if i say this, it also means that each and every single one of us, are so very important in our own right.

that if we were to contribute our authentic rights and reveal our light, the universe would be a better place.

we are the ones to create our reality and therefore our experiences in this universe, we actually are a great determining factor ——we are way more responsible how this universe turns out and we are way more powerful than we know
so awareness!!!
and our collective experiences, memories, intentions, ambitions, wishes, doings, effort, will shape the world, the planet and the universe and determine where this all is going

so in this sense, each and everyone of us, is the most important in the universe

I asked myself if i feel this enough?

actually no, i would love to feel it and is not rushing myself into it

i think if i can feel this, acknowlege this, i will be a very different TPY”

And just now, I saw this:

So, who is the most important?

11 Years 11 Months

11 Years 11 Months

by yellownblac ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

And Qinzhi is in Primary 6 already ?!

This end of year school holiday isn’t like a holiday, but really is revision time for Qinzhi to catch up with her work. But she gamely took it on and I can see her trying—-her best at most times.

But due to not that great a foundation, there are lots of things that are quite basic and Qinzhi still does not know. Asked Qinzhi if she wants to go for PSLE, and she says she wants to try and pass.

And I said to her that if that is what she wants, dad and mom will try our best to support her with our best. I took glimpses at her when she’s doing her tuition online and I can see that Qinzhi is absorbed and enjoying it. Its really wonderful for her to gain new experiences of learning. Math was for Qinzhi something really challenging and daunting, but from being put off to enjoying it, she has made really huge improvements.

Thankfully ah Tin ah yi booked a staycay for us and we got to relax a little, and there ‘s Christmas and presents to offer a breath of release.

And Huiahao bought a present for Qinzhi as well, because she said she has no black pens, he went to get her one fr Muji.

When I went to work as usual , Qinzhi and Huaihao wrote this note for me. It’s beautiful, because I see them reciprocating how and what I have done to them, I wrote them notes too. And I asked them to enjoy the process too. And now, the reminder for me has come—–from them no less.

It also reminds me, how our kids are mirroring us, echoing us and absorbing us.

When I asked John how I can help Qinzhi, he says the same after so many times, that I should change. When I change, they change.

One Sunday morning when it rained heavily, we did something different, we went to make an offering to Bhante and Sister, we brought some organic fruits and the children had a go at prepping food and learning about dana.

But first, we woke early and had breakfast they way they want first.

Then Qinzhi spent some time painting. She was with herself with the colours and did something so beautiful.

On another weekend morning, we headed out for some fresh air and had brunch. We walked Nicoll highway and screamed and had lots of fun.

And when the new calendar came, this thoughtful little girl already noted down birthdays. Thi is how thoughtful Qinzhi is

On another Sunday, the three of us went out for a jog walk brunch.

But first! Play at the playground since not many kids are there early in the morning!

We did a 15 km route from East Coast all the way to Gardens by the Bay and up the Nicoll Highway for a quick drop off to Millenia Walk. For brunch of course!

Brunch is at Kith and the Qinzhi and Huaihao wanted eggs and toast. Actually, anything goes so long as you and Huaihao love it.

We then headed off to the National Museum and did a little backwards tour into time, time grandpa lived in his teens, my time when i was little, then my siblings. The installation to get people to think about memories and their reflections of how SG can grow into is an intimate one.

After close to a year of not having CCAs, Qinzhi is back to having CCA on Fridays, and that’s when I do my fetching duties. Its great because I get to have some one on one time with Qinzhi. To listen to her, to eat with her, to be with her. Too precious!

That day we got Uncle John to assess the fengshui of our flat, Qinzhi kept asking if John said she can sleep in the master.

And boy, John did He also asked Qinzhi to draw a symmetrical mountain to place in her room. I came back to let Qinzhi know that Uncle John wanted her to draw something.

And without telling her what John said, she came up with this

Dear Qinzhi, I hope your gift of perceptiveness and your sense of intuition continues to sharpen and to help you (and possibly others) in their lives.

You remind me so much of a book I had read in my teens, and that is the Chrsyalids with your power in telepathy.

I hope you continue to shine in your own light and be very Qinzhi.

Grounding

Grounding

by yellownblac ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

Maybe I have neglected this of myself—-not tending to this need of my soul and psyche and 

That is why my body has been giving me all these hints of late—- panting, fatigue, exhaustion

To bring me back

And back I am, it feels really good!

I feel this pure simple joy and happiness once I am in touch with Nature.

A few nights ago, John said in a zoom that we should all continue to anchor in our own space. And so did Frances Fuller.

That they say: ticked 

What does it mean to remain in your sacred space? How to? Where is that space?

I tried to navigate and experiment

In the broadest sense, it is to draw a boundary beyond which nothing can intrude and touch you

You remain unfazed—— in the wind

Those few days of fatigue made me realise a few things

  • we can heal ourselves by prayer and intention
  • We need to give ourselves healing and space
  • We need to know our limits
  • We have angels gods Buddhas blessing us
  • We need to constantly reach out and connect with our guardian angels
  • And we need to constantly be in touch with ourselves 

And made me come to the beach today. Barefooted, and allowing the waters to work on/with me. I ask the sun to give me all the light, energy, healing, inspiration each and every cell my body needs. And the water to wash away anything that does not support my system.

It feels more of like cocreating with nature at times

When a surge of wave comes up, it is as if Nature is asking me to stop all I am thinking and to just bask in her

I asked myself as I tread on sand: How is the earth feeling today? What is its pulse? It’s heartbeat? What would it say? 

And I find myself saying thank you to Mother Earth for loving us and me the way you did . And not giving us up.

I asked my soul what it is saying :

And I hear it go: “Well done TPY! Did you know how awesome you are and have been ? No one could have done it like you! All you need is love —- from yourself” 

Words saith in Faith

Words saith in Faith

by yellownblac ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

This is a beautiful passage I read in the bus on my way home today.

The full article here:

“In the bible, in Genesis 1, it says “…God created the heavens and earth…”. How did He do it and what did He use to create the heavens and the earth? By the spoken word! Genesis 1:3- “And God SAID (he spoke), ‘Let there be light,’ and there was light.” John 1:1 it states, “In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.” 

Hebrews 11:3 says, “Through faith we understand that the worlds were framed by the WORD of God, so that things which are seen were not made of things which do appear.” The physical world that we see around us… it was formed by the WORD of God! His spoken word has creative power… and WE are created in the image of God. 

Here’s what Jesus had to say on this topic… 

“Truly, I say to you, whoever says to this mountain, ‘Be taken up and thrown into the sea,’ and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that what he says will come to pass, it will be done for him.”- Mark 11:23

 
First, his reference to “mountain” I believe is a metaphor… meaning problem, trial or obstacle. 

Second, notice he didn’t say “believers”. He didn’t say those that follow God. He didn’t say JUST the things said to the mountain. He said “saith” meaning continually saying. He said that “whoever” continually says, doesn’t doubt, but believes those “things which he saith”… that “he shall have whatsoever he saith”. In other words, those “things” that you continually say – if you believe them – they will come to pass. That my friend is a spiritual law straight from the mouth of Jesus!

If man was created in the image of God and after His likeness, then spoken words are the most powerful things in the universe, for after all God SPOKE the world into existence. Following spiritual law… our words, spoken in faith, have CREATIVE POWER! Think on that one… I mean really think on that. … words spoken in FAITH have creative power. What kind of words come out of your mouth. Are they words of blessing and faith, or words of cursing and condemnation? With this knowledge we should be much more careful in what we put into our hearts and minds, and in the words that come out of our mouth. I believe carefully chosen words, when backed by FAITH can move “mountains” but also keep in mind that ultimately God is still on the throne and in control.

Using Essential Oils during Prayer
Prayer, when done properly and when combined with essential oils, by anointing ourselves or diffusing the surrounding air with them, has the potential of being a positive force during prayer and meditation. It can be a powerful tool to help us break loose of old thought patterns and help us change our thinking processes. 

What I mean by “prayer, when done properly” is this… instead of praying or speaking negative beliefs or “the problem” which lowers our vibrational energies or frequencies, we should pray the solution. We need to change our thought patterns and fill our hearts and minds with positive uplifting thoughts. 

Philippians 4:8 K- “Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.”

 
Why? Because…

“out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh.” (Matthew 12:34). 

The words that are formed by our tongue and spoken out loud, and in faith, will release either positive (good) or negative (evil) influences or energies. 

“For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he.”- Proverbs 23:7

“He also loved cursing, so it came to him; and he did not delight in blessing, so it was far from him.”- Psalms 109:17

 
We need to realize that there is creative power within us and learn to use it wisely. Begin to start speaking things in FAITH but I’m not talking about a “name it, and claim it” philosophy. I am talking about praying God’s Word and His promises back to Him which I believe will flood our spirits with divine energy and elevate our prayers to a higher level. When we verbally come into alignment with what the Word of God says and promises, then we align our prayers with the will of God… how can that NOT raise our frequency on all levels?

Experiencing The Divine

Experiencing The Divine

by yellownblac ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

It was an amazing connection.

Yin asked if I wanted to make an offering to Bhante and Sister. It was a rainy morning but I managed to get Qinzhi and Huaihao’s buy in, and so we went.

Entering Bhante’s abode was like going into a place of calm and clean. The children washed the apples and prepared the food for Bhante. We rejoiced at the table together and Bhante prayed. It was a beautiful experience.

Then we went on to Sister’s

I told Yin in the kitchen, that I think I want to get a buddha and have it in my new house. Yin asked me to seek advice from sister and I didn’t, because I was not sure,

She was in white. I didn’t really know who she was. But this motherly figure touched me. She asked if I have a buddha image or statue at home and said that perhaps I should consider having one. For myself to concentrate on, to ground myself so that I can handle me and my kids better. Otherwise, the kids are taking energy off me.

She saw how I and the kids were responding to each other and pulled me to one side.

She says that the kids have very high ego and that is why I have to change the way I speak to them, to rally them on rather than to tell them what to do.

She says that I should speak less to conserve myself. If anything, she says that I should metta every day for at least 30minutes, because when I send and wish someone well, I get energised as well.

And suddenly it opened up the gate of fatigue. The tiredness the exhaustion flowed out so much, I couldn’t hold myself. It was like I was breaking up and my heart could not carry on.

I prayed with the kids with me on the train.

That Avalokitesvhara, Guru Rinpoche, and Medicine Buddha—–instills all the energy, all the life force all the vitality and protection and healing that I need to keep myself and my kids safe until we are home. And miraculously I felt better.

I told Yin how thankful I was to meet Sister and to get her advice and told her about testing out the healing in the divine. She replied “It always works”

This was a magical experience, very precious and sacred. The divine is speaking thru this lady in white to me. And I am very blessed to experience it.

She made me aware that I haven’t been aware of myself amidst the busying. She made me aware that I have been suppressing myself and not taking care of me and my body.

And she opened up the gate of fatigue which I have been ignoring and not mindful of.

So So So tired, anytime it felt like I could drop dead.

On another occasion, after work, I was so tired out, I felt my face and limbs numb and it felt as if I was going to have another panic attack.

A few other times, I had the sensation of swirling.

One on occasion, I felt that my brain or my heart is slowing down. These has translated into slower moving actions as I moved my legs, they were not really listening to me, I found a lag and the limbs become less agile.

Yesterday I was sitting in front of the computer and my heart fluttered.

I went to bed but was so tired out I couldn’t sleep. I felt I was stopping. The heart was beating its best to keep my going and trying to tell me something.

Just what?

A thought came that perhaps Mom felt so tired too she couldn’t take it anymore and she’s just let go. Was this stated of exhaustion what Mom felt?

She gave of herself too much.

To others but herself.

I felt so much fear in my heart it felt like a sting of sorts. It hung somewhere above me just not in with me.

I think I have over exerted myself , whether at work giving my all , contributing my life force and spirit and taking it as if it were my own. And at home, dealing with the kids. Or helping others on their healing journey.

One day John sent a WhatsApp and said something really wise, “

The purpose of you being the Healer, is not to save the world or save another human everyday. It will burden you and disillusioned you. People who are healed miraculously by you are soul willing. Thus, willing by free will.

The purpose is for us to connect with people whom we can connect to create a new beautiful outcome willingly. Like you and I. Our close bond together. Thus, enriches our existence and àenlightens our knowing. Willing and humble connection is to enlighten us. That’s real creation power. Unwillingness is untimelyness. Misfortune arises if we force the outcome. Fortunes rushes in when clarity is practiced daily.

Message Channelled today.”

I have unmindfully taken on too much responsibility. I give it my all. I have been totally thrown off balance. And I get back to trying to lean in on control but the more control I try to exert, the more out of control I feel. All these took so much out of me, I feel like an empty vessel, void, subdued and its time I learn to put me back and take care of myself.

Tuning in to Frances Fuller, gave me inspiration,

-creating your sacred space before you get out of bed: connection with source and creating a boundary and creating a harmonious environment for self and energy, for home

-first step in creating sacred space: connection with creator and live in sacred space: bring in harmonious frequencies and be in balance

-boundaries help u maintain a stable high frequency rather than be brought down into lower frequencies : building our unique energy signature, when we focus and run on our healthy perfect energy, we are strong powerful and in harmony with ourselves = lavender

-anchoring with strong trees :cedarwood copaiba

-allowing our authentic self to radiate out

-focus

-Practice checking in with yourself more often that you are living in your sacred space in pure harmony and balance without outside things interring with our being and existence in this beautiful space

Dear Guru Rinpoche, I pray that the protection, healing, blessings is on all beings on earth, wherever they are, whenever they need. Give us all the healing we need at the deepest level, let us mend and heal with the very magic of you.