Surrender x Believe

Surrender x Believe

We know these words too little

I watched Michael Beckwith. And probably because of that—- I heard also the echo of surrender

It occurred to me- to surrender to this silence, even if I was still angry and frustrated—— still, surrender

Trust surrender

Since I can’t do much or anything else

Surrender

Believe in surrender

It means entering a space that allows anything and there’s no tightness or control over outcome. There’s space.

There is one other thing that came up, one reason why I have been going round—— what is that I was to learn?

Alot of people say , there’s something bigger than oneself at work

Which I totally agree

But my thoughts were that, I have been deciding and judging or acting based on my own world views experiences emotions and now I realize there’s a huge gap between what I think ( and these determine my actions and experiences in turn) and what is reality

For one, there is another’s beliefs thoughts emotions ideas perspectives to consider

There are other things bigger and smaller ones other my myself

And I have to leave some space for that

Believe

As I inhale Believe, I wonder why John asked me to.

But as I inhale Believe, messages keep popping up.

Today it’s : I believe there’s the divine , looking after me and all. Today more importantly, there’s a feeling of what it feels to rest in the divine . A feeling that alls well and I can rest indeed and not actively want to orchestrate anything because even so that orchestration would be out of a need or a lack or from a space that has limited awareness

I believe there’s divinity and divinity taking care of things

I believe I m (an expression) of divinity and so is everything that has happened . More importantly, it’s how it feels. It feels like again I can rest and accept, the sense of control is loosened and the sense of gratitude—- heightened

I believe, that divinity flows through me

Michael Beckwith’s Sharing

Michael Beckwith’s Sharing

Had the chance to watch Michael Beckwith speak and he sharing a number of good points

Sometimes , a crisis happens ——To let us know we r living our life too small

Is there an idea of who you r going to be back at the idea of your head that you r postponing because u think it is not realistic

I had an idea that I would be very successful, having a reputation being somebody at the top of a profession or Creme de la Creme.

At the top

Very successful

Very wise

Very much consulted

Who people would look up to

And I have it all

Health and well being

Happiness

Joy

Success

Family

Wealth

Freedom

Blessings

Stages of soul development

1. victim consciousness: something outside yourself determines your destiny Eg god. There’s a big blame story . Life is happening to me

2. Manfesitor Consciousnesses : learn the laws of universe that thoughts r units of energy that transmute themselves into speech behavior experience —- we learn affirmations, declarations, decrees, creative visualization . Learn how to use imagination and take imagination realm back. Imagine a different kind of life . Beautiful wonderful Exercise of imaginary skills intention language until you have a sense of belief that life is coming up for you and not against you . pple become aware how they visualize the worst case scenario of what they didn’t want. People learn that they often pay attention to what they don’t want than what they want . You learn that life is on your side. Life is progressive. You learn how to manifest. Life is happening by me.

3. You become a channel for life to express itself though you . Unlimited power energy creativity. There’s yielding allowing letting go . Previously it was making things happen. Now it’s allowing. Localizing a cosmic possibility

By me- masculine

Though me – feminine

Reclaiming letting surrender

It’s about a part of you that is emerging- unfolding unfolding unfolding

We yield to it

4.

One with life

We are Emanation of this life just as wave is an emanation of ocean, sun beam is emanation of sun

Same quality

Omnipresent

Omniscience

Omnipotent

Moments in meditation or visioning that this separation between you and life dissolves and you realize your life is indeed the life of this presence

The luminosity of your own being

Light of your own soul

Taste your potential

More generosity creativity wants to flow through you

But it’s all without a sense of attachment

Moving beyond manifesting and wanting

3 Ideas

True Manifestation occurs when there’s a shift at the soul level

Soul wanting to be better rather than wanting something

Regular manifestation is just getting or feeling the inquisitive appetite

Individual soul is evolving

Oversoul is unfolding and bliss comes Bliss is the activation of our potential when we become more of ourselves

2.

We come here with an imprint and until we have come out of it we want things form an immature perspective

Mature wanting comes from clarity of who we are and what we are becoming and what we want adds to is delivering our gifts talents capacities

Things we want become an extension of an expression of our soul

True want comes from the depth of our being – the indestructible multi dimensional soul of who you are- I want to be the best me that I can be

When you expand your awareness the things you are trying to manage are handled

3. The Power is Surrender

Surrender is not raising a white flag

It’s coming into a space of non attachment not detachment

Letting the outcome form itself

Surrender to a joy beauty that is beyond comprehension

Surrender makes you powerful pliable

There has to be deep and abiding willingness

To heal your body

Begin with gratitude

Become aware

Spiritual Shapeshifting

Place attention on an area of your life which is working for you

Notice increase in power increase in energy

And then shift that energy into an area of your life which is vibrating slower

Move the wonderful energy to where is in need of healing and see the area becoming better

That’s not just skin and bones that’s vibration

Asking guides for help

7 Yrs 7 Mths

7 Yrs 7 Mths

Dear Huaihao

Mommy want to say sorry so much. And I understand now why.

Huaihao fell vulnerable to stomach virus this month, temperatures soared up to 39.7 and we were on the verge of sending you to hospital.

You vomitted twice. You complained of tummy ache, and had diarrhoea. But i remembered the fever protocol, to swipe you with a peppermint salt water every 20 min, and miraculously , the temperature started sliding and going south.

How did this happen?

In those 2 days, it was alot of swiping, lots of oiling, raindrop, flu bomb, wintergreen and copaiba, copaiba under the tongue and super Cs. Lots of paracetamol too. Lots of wiping you down with a towel.

Then so very thankfully, the temperatures just came down and remained normal.

But a few days later, you became slightly clingy and got mommy so angry.

One afternoon after school, you wanted me to feed you lunch, to sit down with you and watch you eat. You cried and became whiny and so very unreasonable.

I had to beat your backside to get you to stop.

But I could have stopped what I did to address you.

The second afternoon, you saw the mask daddy brought and was unhappy with the design, As usual, you wouldn’t say and got whiny. Afterwards when you finally said why you were whiny because you didnt like the cartoon print on the mask, you wanted me to shower you. I was busy, and said that if you wanted a shower, you had to wait for me to finish up. But you wouldn’t listen and insisted. I gave in.

Yet you weren’t following and continued to take your own time. Totally frustrated, i gave you my piece of mind in the shower and rubbed you harshly so much that I felt I was doing you harm.

What if you decided on something just because of this incident? My consciousness thought ?What if this incident left you an imprint unknowingly?

What if I really caused you and your cells hurt just because of my rubbing? At the point I was doing this, I did feel the harm I am causing to you. SO much

The more I thought, the more I regretted and got angry at myself, one for losing my cool , two, for causing hurt to you, my precious baby, three for getting upset with myself.

And I knew what was disturbing me. I was totally frustrated with your dad.

I was so upset I blamed him so much. I held him responsible for making me frustrated and for causing you this hurt.

But what can blame and regret do?

Can it save any of this?

It was just so wrong.I was so regretful I carried you on my lap and I apologised to you for losing my cool. I explained to you how I felt and you cried.

You seemed to know.

I was so tired I took a nap, just so utterly disappointed with myself.

Sleep is great and helpful. It helps me clear my mind. When I woke up, there was better clarity, that if all I thought of was judging myself negatively, feeling regretful and getting angry at myself, now I could see that its not easy to choose your emotions.

This event also taught me further—-to own my emotions and not to easily let another have the freedom to use them in any way.

How can I be responsible for my own emotions? How can I not get carried away?

I had an idea, this event helped me by showing me the gap that is present between theory (saying that you can choose your reaction) vs the pressing emotions when caught in a situation. Now I know its hard to even notice there’s a gap in between the above two, that space is where change can truly happen.

At bedtime, I took the chance to speak to you again. I apologised to you for losing my cool and tried to work out the circumstance to explain why I did what I did.

What if Huaihao had another idea on the mask ? That the designs were cute rather then his actual whiny reaction to a cartoon designed mask?

I told Huaihao I felt so bad brushing his body harshly and he says thats just how papa always does to him.

That was another big blow.

Your little body has been absorbing so many frustrations and anger or emotions from adults who havent been able to manage their emotions.

And I understand now why? Why do I get so disturbed ? It’s because I experienced emotional letdowns and fallouts and absorbed unconsciously and now ——- and now I m repeating it and you are experiencing it

I learnt two things here, i was caught up in my own reality own drama own interpretations, and there’s a gap between what I perceive and what reality is.

I learn to recognise how hard it is if there weren’t awareness, for us to breakthrough of cycles We ourselves have been sucked into and is propelled into repeating.

If Huaihao has a shower by daddy, thats how he gets it—in a rather harsh manner. No wonder he wants me to shower him! He simply prefers my gentler gestures!

And I thought of one other thing, I m beginning to think of what lessons this event can bring me? So that I make it worthwhile and do not repeat this.

The lesson or inspiration is that—-its one thing to bring hurt onto oneself, because of one’s silliness, ignorance, unrepentant attitude, limited views or perspectives, anger, whatever

But its another thing ——-when because of one’s silliness, ignorance, unrepentant attitude, limited views or perspectives, anger, whatever——-we instill hurt onto our loved ones.

It is pain and suffering that nothing in the world can do

And I tell myself, I dont want this system anymore! I have made mistakes with Qinzhi before, being harsh to her. And I do not want to repeat my mistakes.

How long more? Just how long more, do I want to not take things seriously, to procrastinate?

I made the decision to commit to create change at a deeper level. Thats the only thing I can do to make it better.

And I just had to remain silent. I just couldn’t speak. If my son is hurt, i m a hundred times more.

That day I brought huaihao and qinzhi to dinner, this little boy wanted to wear the Singapore colours.

And we were preparing for ah mei ayi’s new house, huaihao drew and painted on canvas, with a note: please be happy!

And I m more than happy huaihao has found something he likes, draw. Its something he can sit down with, something he can be quiet with, and allows his imagination to roam

There’s a lot of healing in this process. I can only be thankful

On another day, Huaihao came back on the verge of crying. He and granddad had been waiting for qinzhi for 30min after dismissal but qinzhi still isnt out.

He couldn’t take it anymore after bearing it down, until he came home and saw me.

He says, “i haven been thinking, should i cry or not? But i m afraid that grandpa will scold me if i cried in his car.”

So he bore it down but cannot suppress it any longer.

He came home washed up and hugged me from behind.

I just let him cry.

He says he is worried abt qinzhi and feels fearful because she hasn’t stepped out of school after so long.

Little darling! just be with your emotions! They are the most important, and shouldn’t be pressed down.

Creating My Future

Creating My Future

I was speaking to Sasha over WhatsApp sharing about what I have been busy with——It seemed mundane but the extraordinary popped out of the ordinary.

So after living in my flat for 11 plus years, we are moving.

Sasha asked me what prompted the move and whereabouts I will be off to?

I said I m not sure yet! will bunk in with my maternal family first and i guess i need to have a vision first before the house will come. so what an exercise in creating the future huh! and grateful for the opportunity

I told her that at first we wanted more space as the kids are growing up and some practices such as not having own space, await to be revised.

but now to me, it really seems as if its an opportunity for me to—as i write — create my future, to have an opportunity to set things right, or maybe just, live the way i want/intend,

And in a way that is as close to the way i would like, to be aligned truly to what i feel deeper down. maybe subconsciously i intended to change , so the opportunity came!

The universe is at work.

The universe heard my call to reinvent myself

And it came with this reply as we sold off our flat and the new space hasn’t yet shown itself

Coincidentally (but in life , really, is there coincidence?), I saw a webinar hosted by Unsinkable’s Sonia Ricotti. She put down some points to show how we can make changes and one of the exercises was, what is your dream?

Yes. We forgot to dream. And dream BIG we forgot.

We forgot to heed that voice in the heart, always relinquishing it further , replacing it with something we think work much easily. We forgot magic! We forgot magic can happen.

So this I wrote :

My dream

is to have a nice house facing the sea.

Nice spacious white house, with all the space and fittings, support and resources I need for holistic clean and green living. Living that does not give pressure or burden to the earth nor myself. This house and the lifestyle I pursue best expresses me and the deeper of my soul’s pursuits , helps myself become light , become a light being, and also my loved ones. Like never before.

My health is in the pink and rosy, like never before

The cyst has disappeared, the keloids gone.

And there are no scars at all, there are NO SCARS AT ALL, there is not any clue to their once existence.

I have baby like skin, soft and tender to the touch, I radiate light. I glow from within, I m peace and at peace and ease. There is harmony within me and outside of me.

Because I m reconciled with my past and all of its experiences, and i now use them consciously to help myself and others become better.

I have become a life coach in my own little way, sharing my experiences

I dig into my experiences and tell others how or what I have done to change the quality of it

My other love is making videos that expound the values and beliefs of TPY, i have created a brand for myself. Better than this, the videos go a long way to touch and light up another’s life, inspiring another to look within and to bring out a better and better version of themselves.

They accept their truth like me and transform like me.

I see how the universe’s resonance and synchronicity works it’s magic that when we open up others are invited too on the same journey to be our authentic best

I m earning enough if not more than enough to spend as I wish on myself and others. Wealth is flowing and I m grateful

I find myself material things that echo my beliefs – artisan, handmade, honest genuine and authentic buys that support me

It is the best ppart and really the best days I have ever experienced that will go on for a very long time.

I have reconciled all worries and fears. I understand how and why they have come into my life and I m aligned with the universe and its abundance, its expression, its flow.

I m skilled at reiki and in touch with the divine’s blessings. I reach out for ease and receive with ease. I m open to receiving and giving and is grateful and appreciative of the connection and support.

Relationship with my children, my husband and my father is great, like never before.

Everything is ——–Like never before

I take in all the goodness and savour and appreciate each and every inch of it, and I share it outwards.

I have become aware and even more

The second exercise is—-Write out your own declaration

And this is mine: I dont know why I m experiencing all these, going through all this, I still have not figured out why I keep getting stuck in all of this.

Again and again, and again.

Until when?!

My grandparents, my parents, probably my ancestors and now me. Is it not enough?!

YET! I do not believe I will be stuck in this forever, I BELIEVE I have a way out, and my kids wont have to go through all I have, I BELIEVE I know the way out to resolve and reconcile all I have, and all the health issues emotional issues, relationship issues, money issues, people issues, judgmental issues——-will be gone in a whiff.

Some other points she mentioned :

-Reprogram your conscious mind

its the thought you have about an event that is not resolved and holding you back

Awareness is the first step to transformation

every situation has a silver lining

doors to take you to next level are always there , to turn things around but you are not open to these

all you have to do, to reprogram your conscious mind is to ask yourself-what m i thinking right now

you become aware of your thoughts

they are just thoughts and we can change those thoughts anytime we want to

they are not reality

in one part of your life that is not working, what is the story i have been telling myself again and again ?

your beliefs are determining your results, shift to empowering positive beliefs

money flows freely easily from everywhere

-Reprogram your subconscious mind

-Elevate your vibration to above 500 level

like attracts like

positive thoughts attract positive things and ppl into your life.

let go of the past, they are just thoughts

it happened in that moment but now its just a thought

but we are living it over and over again and the body is still feeling it and doesnt know its not happening

the future is a thought too

the only thing that is real is the present

forgive yourself and others

connect to higher self

You have all the answers, they are there within you. amidst all the fog and chaos. you just need to quiet down and listen

Conversations With God

Conversations With God

Had the chance to watch a video featuring Neale Donald Walsch and these below have well been one of the nicest things to hear. So nice, it makes you feel privileged and lucky to be where one is now, despite it all.

Its not just what he says, its how he says it.

So you need to look within

You need to go inside

You need to go deeply into your interior 

And see if your soul resonates and harmonizes with what has been brought through

And if it does

Live it and demonstrate it

And walk in your life through it

But if it doesn’t 

If anything you see there does not resonate then throw it out

Give people back to themselves

Don’t you dare walk by or walk through the life of a single person without making them feel better about themselves better about who they are and fully aware of their magnificence and of the wonder who they are. If they gift they are just being in the room

Awaken the species

Get out there whoever’s reading this material and everyone else who’s been exposed to these messages 

Use what you have now come to understand if you have fully expanded and truly explored new possibilities that you haven’t thought of 20 years ago

If you r really now there and really now ready

Then awaken the species 

Tell everyone what it is that you have come to know and understand because the world is now desperately in need of awakening

Shift from infancy to early childhood early adolescent 

We r in our innocence misbehaving

We r not a cruel species not a mean species but sometimes like little children we act mean

Because in our youthful embracing of all the data that’s coming in all the stuff we have not dreamed before 

We r finding ourselves faced with information that we don’t know have to deal with cloning animals reproducing animals without doing it the normal way 

We don’t have the moral underpinning the spiritual construct to support 

And we somehow have to find a way to integrate 

A newer understanding of god of life of ourselves a grander notion than we have ever imagined and integrate that with technology science medicine 

We r on the two yard line 

It means we have a long way to go and that is a blessing 

In a cosmology of sentient beings we are just children 

And that’s a blessing because this gives you an idea of what humans are designed to be

We r just just barely beginning to realize our potential

Highly evolved beings

Our universe is 100 times larger than we thought

Our universe is one of a universe of a universes 

We r not alone in the cosmos

There r sentient beings living in the cosmos

There r highly evolved beings s in the understanding of who they r and what life is all about so far that they have taken it on their mission to nurture and assist the younger species

They are assisting us and bringing us information in a variety of ways – insights awareness ideas storylines thoughts 

They r placing it in front of us in a variety of ways allowing us to step into tomorrow 

That’s what they r inviting us to do

They r inviting us to speed up the process. 

Evolution does not have to be a one two three four five … progression

It can be two four eight sixteen thirty two progression 

It can be exponential 

Highly evolved beings have eliminated violence completely from their civilization 

No verbal emotional physical violence of any kind

They would never dream of harming or injuring on purpose to another simply to resolve a conflict

We r so primitive on this planet we have yet to figure out a way to resolve our differences without differences 

Deep down inside like all of us you are a wonderful person 

There r pple who love you

There r pple who you love

You r no less wonderful than I m but you have had a tougher life situation 

There r other ways to experience the wonder and glory of who you are

Give me your deep soul promise 

I m not going to report you

I m going to give you a chance to report in—- to yourself 

Who m I really ?

Are you in such a tough situation that you violate your inner being

There I go again exercise 

There but for the grace of god go I 

No there for the grace of god go you but there because of the grace of god you go 

There you go again a thief again a wino again —— don’t you realize you see nothing but you , everywhere you look?

There you go being angry again

There you go being nice again

There you go being a person you don’t want to be again

Whether you r seeing the negative or positive side of life

You are not seeing anything but who you actually are mirrored back to you 

Challenge you to go down the street the next 30 days

Whatever you see or whatever you are looking at 

Say that to yourself- there I go again

There I go again being a coward

There I go again —— until you identify with all of it 

Second exercise : I m

After you do the above , expand your awareness and say two or three words whenever you see anything, not just pple but a tree flower or trash, something pretty or ugly , just say these three words: I m that

Until you can identify with what you r looking at

I m that

 I m that, I m

And when I see in everything I look at, a part and aspect of me. I finally got the truth

And it cause me to relate to the pile of trash the flowers in that garden,…it lets you relate to everybody in a different way

A way that says – you know what? I love you

I love all of this

What a glorious experience 

I love it all and I refuse to condemn any of it

Judge not and neither condemn

And raise not your fist to heaven and curse the darkness but be a light unto the darkness that you might know who you really are

And all lives you touch will really know who they are as well because you came through their lives 

There’s no such thing as a wrong decision

You haven’t made a wrong decision in your entire life

There’s no such thing as right and wrong

There’s only what works and what does not work given what it is you try to do

Right and wrong does not exist in the kingdom of god

I don’t want any of you moving through life to become suddenly worried that you are making a wrong decision 

There’s no wrong way to do anything 

Only what’s effective 

My suggestion as a tool to move forward is – get clear: what are you trying to do

Broadly in your life, then reduce it to this year this month this time this day this hour this minute right no ask yourself as you move through life – what are you trying to do now

What m I doing here

When you get clear what you r doing in each moment of your life and why you r doing it your actions will arise spontaneously without planning and judgement 

here’s a tool: life’s magic qns

Before you make a decision to do anything before you make a big decision like to move house or who should I marry or where should I work—- whether it’s a big decision or a small decision , ask yourself this life magic qns: what does this have to do with the agenda of my soul 

If you aren’t clear what this has to do with the agenda of your soul don’t do it and get clear on that

The agenda of the soul is the same for every living being and that is this: 

To use each golden moment of now to make an extraordinary decision to announce and declare, to express and fulfill, become and experience the next grandest version of the greatest vision you ever held about who you are 

The agenda of the soul is to recreate who yourself anew in every moment in the next grandest version of the greatest vision ever held abt who you are 

If you were to serve that agenda with every word every thought every announcement every decision every action your life would turn into an ongoing continuing never ending miracle

God- I have sent you nothing but angels

They are going to come before you and place before you the exact set of perfect circumstances and situations

Judge not and condemn not

They are going to come before you and place before you the exact set of perfect circumstances and situations allowing your to be who you really are at the next level up

at the next level up

at the next level up

To never be satisfied with yesterday’s decision 

Any person that has come into your life 

Any situation that has arisen 

By any manner or means that has been placed before us is a gift from heaven 

The purpose being to allow us to enter a contextual field to notice—– and to notice and to express , to experience and to declare, to become and to fulfill our grandest notion of who we really are

I mean by that 

That in the absence of what you are not

What you are is not

If I m the light I can’t experience myself as the light unless I m in the darkness

Coz the darkness is what I m not

But in the absence of what I m not

That is in the absence of darkness 

I can’t be what I m

Not just dark and light

Loving and not so loving

Good and evil

I have sent you nothing but angels means god has sent us or life , if you please

Has produced  for us our souls are collaborating all souls collaborating jointly producing the exact set of circumstances situations and moments designed to give us a platform on which we can produce the greatest play ever known

And each person in their time playing many parts

Giving you a chance to decide who m I in relation to this guy

Who m I and what is my next grandest notion in regard to a particular event or circumstance 

And then we bless him

Bless bless bless bless your enemies

And when a man slaps your left cheek turn and offer your left

And when a man ask you for your coat give him your shirt as well 

We have all these answers told to us thousands of years 

It is time for us to listen

Your life is not about you

I asked god what is the single one sentence that you want me to understand and embrace 

Your life is not about you

It’s about everyone else whose life you touched and the way in which you touched it —- in a way that would allow them to experience who they are

11 Years 6 Months

11 Years 6 Months

亲爱的沁芝宝贝

记得。你如此美丽。本来就是完美的,一直都是。也不会减少。

Remember always—–that you have been this beautiful, has always been, and will forever be.

There are things that can never be taken away, if its true.

Looking at you now, everyday, makes me appreciate and grateful. Appreciate what? Appreciate life and nature or that certain hand of god in the making. And grateful for this and all the opportunities I have had to have you and to grow with you.

Sometimes I m not too sure, if you saved me, or I saved you. Both ways perhaps.

This month came and went like a stream gently flowing and I can’t be more grateful for that. Normalcy is bliss.

Ah mei ayi has a new house and we went to celebrate her. She’s so awesome, handling finances on her own and building up on her own. Self made. SO much grit and determination in there.

A few weeks ago, both you and Hao got the flu virus, too happy to have nursed both of you back to health. And even more happy to receive this note.

Loving it that both of you are playing well together. Whether its being on the computer or playing opening shop.

You are almost as tall as me now.And every smile is precious to me. How we are relating to each other is evolving too. We are beginning to interact like sisters and friends. We talk a lot and I can see your sensitivity and perceptiveness coming through lots. And how you are always helping and giving of yourself.

The mother and nurturing nourishing function in me as a mother is giving way to sharing your emotions, joys and anger and guiding you to managing yourself as an individual, who is proud of your big and little achievements and not afraid to show your vulnerabilities.

Keep smiling like this always. Keep healthy and safe always, be well and happy always.

Water

Water

I think we have all underestimated the importance of water.

I used to interview top chefs from Japan who have come to Singapore to showcase their cuisine. And each time I asked, thinking they would be bringing in Uni, Wagyu, and all types of fish, they did not place importance on these prized produce

But spring water.

They would tell me its water they are specially bringing in from Mt Fuji, from Hokkaido or some mountain area.

Japanese cuisine hinges on the art of making dashi, and the chefs tell me time and again, that the water in Singapore is not good, smells like tar or is smelly.

So they import spring water for their cuisine showcase.

This got me interested into water. Its 70% in our body and we have been encouraged to drink water.

Found out on water, water having faces, water having memories, water structures .

One interesting resource I have encountered is the Water Peace Project, rooted on the beliefs and scientific findings of Dr Masaru Emoto. Sadghuru also talks about water.

These are some wonderful things I picked up!

Water has memory and responds to different people differently 

Water needs to be happy

Water is looking at your attitude towards it

Drink at your body temperature, too hot or too cold and it disrupts the water system within

Conducting water properly

Leave it overnight for it to forget its memory , at least 30min to undo itself, never drink from a spout

Best way to drink water- Drink with own hands

Consecrating water n food- what we consume should be conducive to us even before entering us 

Change the molecular structure of water

We can change the way the water bodies around us change 

At home, I try to collect filtered water and letting it stand, i also use Rose essential oil on my waters. But more importantly, i try to inspect myself when i get to drinking my cup or when collecting water.

Even if it were brief, I believe that moment of awareness can change things.

It’s Okay To Be Not Okay

It’s Okay To Be Not Okay

Watched Its Okay To Be Not Okay in a flash. This Korean drama revolves around a psychiatric hospital and the stories of its patients, doctors and nurses.

The main characters are a pretty children’s novel writer and a male nurse. It is not the first time the two meet. Many at times, at a first meeting, we know if we have met before, earlier, in this lifetime or many lifetimes before.

Have you had this experience before? This knowing when you met someone and realised you had met way earlier?

The two ill fated lovers had their share of emotional suffering. The pretty novel writer witnessed her dad killing her mother. Her novel her stories she write for children had inklings of these.

The male nurse grew up with an autistic brother, his mother once said to him, that he was born to take care of his brother. He lived his life hedging on that belief thinking he’s had to give up on many other things, and his life’s purpose and everything would be to spin around his brother.

How many of you had a certain belief that was inked onto your spirit? When I watched the drama it appeared clear to me, how easy it is to see, that you are not born for a certain something or to live a certain way.

But why is it so that its so difficult to maintain this alertness when it comes to reflecting on ourselves?

How do we close this gap? What is stopping us from realising?

The story goes to show so many pains that is etched on to one’s memory, for example, the male nurse in his childhood, was so traumatised by having no childhood and having to take care of his older autistic brother, that one time, he ran away while the autistic brother was on the brink of drowning. The autistic older brother reveals in an incident he remembered his younger brother wanted him dead.

But who would know how the younger child suffered or how much he wanted or needed love as well, rather than having to care for an older brother. As it turns out, the responsibility of having to care for his older autistic brother gets heavier when their mother is murdered.

The autistic brother remembers seeing a mutated butterfly brooch on the murderer’s outfit and have since been haunted by the sight of butterflies.

As the story unfolds, the beautiful novel writer falls in love with the male nurse, and the three got so close to form a family, but there’s a twist to this plot.

The male nurse came to realise, his mother was killed by his lover’s mother, who turned out to be alive and have gone through plastic surgery —–and has disguised herself as a nurse in the psychiatric hospital.

Drama it may be, but it did bring out a ton of deeper inner issues for me to see.

I see myself and my insides, seeing these subtitles as the plot unfolds:

Episode 1

Memories of hurting others and being hurt

Memories of being abandoned

Only those with such memories buried in their hearts can become stronger more passionate and emotionally flexible 

And those can attain happiness 

Remember it and overcome it 

Or you will always be a kid whose soul never grows

Episode 2

Butterfly hug- cross your arms and hug yourself.

Self healing for trauma 

Meet trauma head on instead of hiding behind

When life is unbearable the easiest is to run—-so true, how many times did we do this

Episode 4

What does the child in you want

Episode 7

When you are sad, cry

When you are tired take a break 

I’m have been tied up for too long so I didn’t know how to set myself free

I cut off my leash

Episode 8 

If I give all my stuff to other people what will I have left

Episode 10

Try to think of your own happiness in stressful situations 

If you want others around you to be happy, think of your own happiness first 

Episode 14

It’s ok to be not ok

You see, you did nothing wrong

We did nothing wrong 

If you want to apologize for something you have to look with the person to say it

It’s rude to just say sorry without even looking at the person 

A kiss is better than a fight

Just accept it

Then you will feel more at ease 

Give me a hug

Pat me on the back

Episode 15

The one that torments you can also be the one that saves you

I’ll do everything I can to overcome and cope with what happened 

Sharing Possibilities

Sharing Possibilities

Is there something you can dig out from your past, from the deepest of your realities ———to share?

Is there a possibility of opening up?A few days ago, I had this knowing. Its a strange feeling, strange enough to let you know a something is brewing. Like a mirror. Its clarity and knowing for sure. A calm that grounds you and lets you stand rooted, that keeps you where you are no matter how the outside is swirling.

What is that I asked?

Its knowing you are whole and can be joyful irregardless of anything or everything. Its joy as well reaching that point.

What culminated this knowing? I asked?

In my early meditation or maybe just contemplative me time today, I had an idea. A spark.

The cyst (and how it got here—— all my experiences) wants to be known. Not hidden.

I had been slightly worried about taking about it . Unknowingly, unconsciously, I took to hiding it.

The vibe the energy of this whole thing is sullen and down.

All I know is hiding, hiding my eyes before my glasses, when i used to work, i didnt give myself recognition. I was hiding and not acknowledging my authority, and I was hiding too much past and hiding behind my power behind these past.

But recently I had the chance to talk about it to my relatives as I shared with them the possibilities about plant power. And it felt good that I was sharing , it get good that I was opening up.

I couldn’t sleep last night because I heard a friend’s godfather had aneurysm in the heart. And he is a heart surgeon.

I knew plant power could offer him possibilities the medical world cannot. The phrase that came to mind was—- tell him about my cyst and how it shrunk.

I don’t mind telling him about it if this can open him up to new possibilities

And because of this thought, the cyst became a possibility a hope a positive

It wasn’t easy for me to reach this thought.

How about sharing and opening up further TPY? If it helps others? Not just the cyst but everything else and in between .

I had had the opportunity to see my past experiences as a wealth of resource I can tap into previously. But I haven’t had the chance to use it.

This morning sitting—— I asked, where is my deepest awareness? Can I locate it? Why does it look like? What possibilities does it show?

What is the deepest reality of my awareness? How else can I grow? What else can I do?

I think many.

And first—— the thought about sharing , well at least not hiding the cyst and therefore my past, popped up.

I chose hiding it unconsciously. Because that was the possibility, the sunken and deep seated energy that I was all too familiar because of my life’s experiences.

But I hadn’t known other possibilities.

But the cyst does not want to be hidden! So is the same for all the experiences that brought me here.

If I had any inkling and really looked upon my experiences that once gave me pain and suffering —— as my resource now , there is no reason to behave like I am now.

I would be using the cyst and my experiences. And that would truly be letting these shine as possibilities.

May I have the support of the universe in opening up and in the powerful completion of this transformation, to help myself and others.

Be Present With What Is Arising

Be Present With What Is Arising

I saw something so beautiful this morning I had to write it down

I was at the bus stop waiting for a bus—— to get out home to avoid what unpleasantness I experienced these last few days——- to get away from those emotions I have been trying to manage, yet don’t seem to be getting anywhere

So I get out

While waiting, I saw a Japanese mother and her young daughter waving at the opposite bus stop

And I followed their wave and saw another Japanese mother and her daughter opposite

This young girl at my end called out to her young friend xxx chan! As they do in Japanese. And the pair opposite waved back with all their might

The young girl opposite was trying to get her message across too

I saw the traffic lights turning green and the engines rating to go

And then the two girls who were trying to traverse the gap in between—— with what seemingly important things to shout across the road

How noce

It brought me a smile

Young girls and their wanting to connect—— with the distance in between

Beautiful isn’t it?

And I was pleased with myself for being able to get hold of beauty in this moment

And to be, just be with what is arising

Many times, we are so caught up with our emotions our past our own psychological drama our perceived pain and our interpretations we miss out our moments we miss out life

We miss out the real teachings in these moments offered by others

Thank you young girls , for wanting to communicate across the road, with all that power you have

Life truly is, and happens in the moments.