Dear Qinzhi
You still have that baby wrap with you at sleep every night. The pink one I wrapped you in after you were born,
How to believe 11 years has gone by?
We forgot the time.
Just like how we eased into Circuit Breaker days for 40 plus days already. Is it being cooped up at home? or the medication?
In a few days, I saw you blew your top and lost yourself to emotions wrecking you and tearing you apart.
I got frightened.
Most of the time, you came into a fit of temper because you could not take Huaihao.
Like this once, when we were in a game and Huaihao refused to admit defeat and was being pushy, Dad kept quiet because I was dealing with him. Then so very suddenly, you rose up from the floor and became so very sore. I suddenly didnt knew who you are, it seemed as if someone else is controlling you.
Like in a trance,
Much as we have spoken about managing emotions, its pretty difficult to get you round.
And it seemed as if you doomed yourself to failure.
So many times, you were just not motivated to revise but when I talked you round to it, you could understand the content of the revision questions
I wonder how I can spur you on. How I can turn on your fire.
Because you are such an intelligent girl,
when we spoke about the emotional outbreak, as I talked to you about it, I realised what you were trying to do.
And i said to you, “that you need not go to extremes like these to get our attention. There are many other ways.”
I explained why I quit my work, and the extents I went to for you and Huaihao. I told you how much of a miracle you and Huaihao is, there’s only one Qinzhi and one Huaihao in this while wide world. I spoke till you teared.
I could see that you are moved.
I am thinking what ways and means can wake you up—-when I myself have so much waking up to do too!
Let’s do it together!
In the meantime, Mommy continued to fulfil all my duties and cook nutritious simple meals while we stay at home. Qinzhi and Huaihao liked to be part of this too and I would let you two as far as possible,
We tried making sorbets for the first time using mangoes and passionfruit. The quality of the fruits were superb and we didn’t need sugar
I sincerely hope that the circuit breaker days would be one you would fondly look back to when you grow up.
Why?
We spent so much time together! As a family. We played Happy Family, we played Suspend which is such a great game on balance and finding that equilibrium, sometimes by adding yet another piece to the frame and in the process build up a structure together .
We got emotions hyped up, but we also get so more laughter and joy and bonding and togetherness in return
In between games, mommy always inserted a teaching or two, such as why we play a game and intentions.
I started a goodness challenge. And everyday Mommy would dish out a challenge and you and Hao could write, draw or show and tell the challenge and win a lucky dip!
And you two picked up a habit of chatting with jiujiu, ah mei ayi, jiejie everynight,
Too lovely, i never imagined you could talk to them for an hour and it was sharing about the littlest things of the day, and playing guessing games.
On some days, you did Zoom exercise with them too!
We ate lots too!
Mommy did so much cooking so you can all nutrient rich high energy home cooked food, with lots of love! Then again, we explored so many other nice deliveries, and gifted food to people in our tribe to share the love.
But most of all, Qinzhi and Huaihao played and played and played! And when you are in harmony, both of you enjoy each other’s company so much
So you were spending a lot of time building this amazing world and in this 🌎 , people from different countries, cultures, ages, sexes, with different learning experience and background live together. The four level ( “because don’t have so much LEGO”) living pad can transform into a flying vehicle, a boat, a car. The topmost level has a charging pad for you to recharge and do yoga or look up at the universe. The third level is where people eat together and has food such as “vegan ice creams like 🍌 and 🥭 “. The living pad can be teleported to anywhere this community wants. And there is a poll to seek the wishes of where the community wants to live in, such as in the forest or on water. Anywhere anytime——— it’s freedom and possibilities in abundance. So long as creativity, imagination, intelligence, wisdom and the heart wills. We will create our norm.
And listening to your creations make me wonder if this is the new norm that you will be creating for us, where possibilities infinitely exist and there is so much freedom creativity imagination wisdom and intelligence, living in the world and with respect to nature’s rhythms can be so comfortable and fuss free. #hope
There’s a new definition of luxury and really, what living really means.
Then we sprouted green beans ! What a joy for you when you lifted the cloth up and saw sprouts with roots growing.
What a surprise for mommy too!
On daddy’s birthday, you made cards and we ordered an extra big pizza.
One evening after dinner, I saw what is left of this beautiful sunset. And I called you to see it. It made me feel joyful and blessed to have you with me and to see this sunset together. I have much to thank for! And you two make me want to work harder to better myself.
May you always find love and peace within Dear Qinzhi! So in love with you two incredible people.
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