7 Yrs 3 Mths

Dear Huaihao

I have been reading the gokai at bedtime and one day you asked if I have fulfilled all my duties?

haha

What do you mean?

“Because I do not want you to leave the room, I want you to be with me”

Huaihao’s a light sleeper and if i left the room, there were times he would wake up in the middle of the night to look for me, sometimes i would be in the study or in the living room and he would insist that I sleep next to him.

“Sleep,” he would say and kiss and put his little hands over me.

That day I was so busy I delayed everything but attend to channeling my efforts to helping with the food industry pro bono.

Huaihao came to me at midnight and insists I go and sleep.

When I didnt, he came out to the study again to get me. Then when I didn’t go to bed, he came to the kitchen to look for me.

In half plea half anger tone, he ordered: “Sleep”

And on the bed again, he was tossing and turning and saw that perhaps I was contemplating to sneak “Sleep Mommy”

His insistence was so sure, I felt like that was another soul and not just Huaihao but something greater.

Love this little angel! Although I kept saying he has to start sleeping on his own, going to bed every night and sleeping with him gives me too much to be grateful for.

And one night when he accidentally wet his pyjamas, I asked him to just change into a new set of clothes, but he says he will use the hairdryer to dry.

“Its never too late, Mommy ”

He proudly showed off dryer than before PJs and said, “Now you know right, its not too late”

One morning, I was lying on the bed for my self reiki and Huaihao suggests, “ can I give you a massage mommy? “

Why? I asked.

“ Because I want you to sleep”

So he did and I fell asleep

Today he asked me again if we should go to the bed and let him massage me

And we did. And my self reiki sessions now morph into a pre session with massage .

I used the opportunity to invite HuaiHao to rub his hands together and feel the ball of energy in between

Then I told him where my left shoulder hurts and he can put his hands there

And I would allow myself the time and space to feel his magic and I did and shared with him.

Maybe Huaihao knew I was tired, even if I did not allow myself to rest.

A few days ago, HuaiHao has been naughty and I started slapping his legs

I felt bad doing that and apologized to him. I asked myself if I should apologize and even if it seemed like mommy needn’t need to apologize but punishing a child, I felt I had to .

And I thought about my own experience. My mother used to slap me on my thighs and leave fingerprints on if I didnt obey

I slapped HuaiHao at exactly the same spots

I apologized because I felt that this is not a wise way of educating a kid and I had to spot for choosing that method.

I asked him , did you feel hurt? And he nodded his head

I explained to him why I did that and told him that I did not want to do this again. I asked for his forgiveness and he said, its okay.

He said he understood and felt better now that I apologized

One day out of boredom, Huaihao decided to write a book, in the book Huaihao was dreaming (of cats!haha) and mommy was cooking in the kitchen. Then Huaihao got up and looked for me and wrote that I was cooking rice. Rice was Huaihao’s favourite food.

How wonderful! You have began to write your own book, you have found a way out for yourself and at such a young age,

Please continue to write my dear, this is such a precious gift, writing will connect you to yourself first and foremost, you will learn to put the words to your feelings which helps in awareness or mindfulness. And probably, it could connect you with the world

But besides writing, you had a gift for drawing as well

This made my day, how cute!

And this is one of my favourite pieces. Huaihao flying! Sun smiling, clouds smiling!

Most of all, Huaihao smiling.

And green is green, yellow is yellow.

Feels like Huaihao is feeling free and I m so happy for Huaihao! When can I feel so free?

What an inspiration!

Huaihao didnt have that much homework as Qinzhi so there was more free time, and you were easily finding for things to do, and so I did, you loved quail eggs and so you got to peel them!

And then I let you and Qinzhi cook eggs

But your favourite was working on Lego and you have been working on so

many wonderful creations like this one and you would always ask me to listen to your designs

Sometimes I was busy and didnt seem like I was interested and you would go, please, just 5 minutes

Awwww…..

This is just one of the many creations Huaihao has composed. A vehicle that can transform into a gun, with lots of movable parts that can transform too.

Transform and being flexible, agile, malleable ! Thank you for reminding me Huaihao, when you kept on wanting to show me your designs and asked if I have time for you.

And we played shooting games at the stairs as you advent stepped outdoors in like 10 plus days.