Today in my self reiki session, the nerve or ligament or vein at my right neck was vibrating for like 30sec , it just kept on. Is this a muscle spasm or energy going through?

I tried to find out by experiment

So I said, now , lets work on the left shoulder, and i felt energy go there, then keloid! then cyst!

And felt for myself how the mind-body connection works.

I breathed in fresh air, light to these parts and I remembered what I wrote down: “can i love myself like how I do to my kids?”

I felt for myself what it is like to smile love at these parts, the keloids at my chest, the cyst , the big keloid

I most closely associate the keloid at my chest with the memory of the time I got back from nanny’s into my own home, that period when dad was going through or has gone through surgery, memory of visiting him at the hospital, memory of us moving out of our cosy home to ah ma’s home with my aunties and uncles, that time mommy was pregnant with brother

the feeling of uprootedness , totally unearthed and lifted off the ground

At nanny’s I was shielded and protected all the while and to the max, they cherished me like their own ———even till today

come to think of it, the keloids took note of this uprooting event, the first in my life

I find myself putting my consciousness there and breathing it, thanking it, “its been hard on you! thank you for the inspiration” and i visualised my chest without the keloids.

This keloid has been with me since primary 3, 

You can go now as I have heard you

Then the big keloid,

The memory I most closely associate it, is in my teens, when my family is uprooted yet again

 Dad left, that was major

Then Mom, that was catastrophic

Totally uprooted from earth and thrown into the universe dont know where

Then departures of uncle and auntie

That was shattering

My skin took note of these events in a way that was harsh even to itself too

The keloid has been shouldering this for like ten plus years, mom passed away in 2002 

Then the cyst

I find myself linking it to Qinzhi and her traumatic episodes of seizures

Then my relationship with my husband

Just thinking this, made my face tighten

I was conscious that my eyes felt different just coming to this point

What is it?

We made up but not really yet. 

I said I wanted a proper apology and a letter of reflection

There are still stuff that needs working and processing on

I think I was tired of it all, thoroughly disappointed that my expectations are still not met, feeling like the leopard never changes its spots, yet wanting so much to spurn change in my marriage

Deep down, I guess I still wanted to make it work 

I was angry yes and still is, that things came this way and frustrated that he didnt know how to appreciate me

So angry

Then I sent light and air there and saw how these are dispersing the cyst

What is it I want?

I want the love like we started. When I was cherished like a pearl on an oyster

These parts recorded the most important events of my life.

I also asked the divine to give me all the love and light i need to embrace the past and future and energy to work on the present

Today when I showered I changed one thing, instead of asking the water to cleanse me of all that doesnt support me

I asked it to give me all the healing, all the energy, all the light all the cleansing that I need

And of late, I have been using visualisation

Visualising the big keloid gone and the skin totally baby like

and I could see my navel in full again

then the keloids at my chest—gone

These few days, Huaihao wanted my full attention and was telling me about his lego creations and I asked him how he does it?

He says its imagination 

So I get reminded to work my visualisation.