In my life, in my time of need, angels come to me.

Many times I do not know it! Like I asked Stephan, when he says, “they are all with you” because how would I know?

So apparently a spectrum of green lights!

But other times I know, like my art therapy teacher Yen, Mr Ng, and Teacher Stephan who have seen me through my worst when I am down. They offer their presence and to hear me draw, talk, shout , cry out my pain.

My teacher wrote me this very nice note, to capture points that could help me—–and, perhaps you.

We are living in different spaces, different time zones, different cultures, different realities, but perhaps, somewhere, someplace we are similar.

“Since I have seen how fast und deep your healing process worked, during the Reiki sessions, and how you continue to explore, question yourself, your past, present and future and so get to know yourself to become whole and in peace with yourself… I cannot let you go on your own through this very challenging time.

What I write you are just my perceptions, and I might be totally wrong. Please do tell me when you think I’m off the track. But know I’m always on your side and I trust and believe in you totally and unconditionally. So here it goes…

Your fast healing process causes an overload of emotions, you feel so unstable and insecure inside, you fear you are cut off from your deepest self, but outwardly you try to hold yourself upright.

Fear is blocking your development. You are looking gloomy at yourself and your situation! Pain and grief overgrow your whole self. You feel your are not able to lead your life yourself; this fear, grief and resentments cause aggression, which you suppress, which you have suppressed for such a long time. There is no trust in yourself and life and you are afraid of falling , of crashing.

To all this you put up a brave and strong front. Pulling and pushing , set direction, keep the control and endure the pain… because you are so used to it, you had always to do it, because you had no other choice.

Let go of what is not really good for you; do not try to hold on.

Nothing you do not know already. Right?

Your healing, your wholeness is advancing super fast and intense. and so is also your awareness and clarity about yourself.
You have started to be loving and gentle with yourself, having your space and time of to feel safe and calm. This is the crucial part. And I am extremely happy about it, because it means you have broken already with the cycle.

Care for the little child, the girl in your being and give her security, warmth and affection, because only this love will bring peace and dispel fears. No longer let your feelings overwhelm you, but consciously take the girl, who had to suffer and endure so much, who had such a hart time by the hand.

You are good and precious: Do not stamp your true feelings and thoughts, your natural creativity into the ground.

Do not accumulate feelings, let them all flow freely ( even if they feel like lashing out, but why not?), do not feel obliged, but process your grief and throw all the ballast off your back and come to inner peace. Do not fight against life, but enjoy it. You and the girl, in you, have a right to joy and happiness. Don’t punish yourself, look at life in its nuances, which I read, you do every day and in a beautiful way.

Trust in your deep self, in your inner authority, which will always provide you with sustenance. A deep trust in the creative forces of nature, in the endless supply of energy ( Being Conscious, Love), to enable new growth in your life again and again. Trust your heart (the loving-kindness of the Divine, within you).
The life-giving energy of the universe; lay down safely in the womb of your warm nature.

So don’t be afraid and trust your heart!✨